is your heart taken?

let's all pretend it's still 2010

[larryziamandniall]

ZAYN: Is there a cactus where your heart should be? NIALL: What’s up your ass this morning! LIAM walks in: …Hey. NIALL: Hmm… nevermind. ZAYN: WAIT NO!

[larryziamandniall]

LIAM, talking about ZAYN: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH HIM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? HE DID. HE KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO.

[larryziamandniall]

HARRY: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along? LIAM: What did you just say- HARRY: Foetons! Laughs LIAM: Wh-what?

[larryziamandniall]

HARRY: Have you heard of Murphy’s law? The one where if something can go wrong, it will go wrong? LOUIS: Yeah, I have. HARRY: Have you heard of Cole’s law? LOUIS: Is this a joke about coleslaw? HARRY: …maybe.

[larryziamandniall]

NIALL: No problemo! NIALL, internally: But it was all problemo.

[larryziamandniall]

LOUIS: I have an idea. NIALL: A good idea? LOUIS: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

[larryziamandniall]

LOUIS: I asked Harry out. ZAYN: Oh, I’m sorry. LOUIS: Why? ZAYN: Well, I assume he said no. LOUIS: No, he said yes. ZAYN: Really? Then I’m sorry for him.

[larryziamandniall]

LOUIS: I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway. ZAYN: LOUIS: Vroom vroom, come out already.

[larryziamandniall]

LOUIS: I love making parties more interesting by telling strangers “I want you to know that I personally have no problem with you being here.”

[larryziamandniall]

LIAM: Mice are having sex in my walls. NIALL: Tattletale! HARRY: You're just being ungrateful. LOUIS: It's their home too, you know. ZAYN: So what? Don't slutshame them. LIAM: The mice are fucking AND now I'm getting heckled.

[larryziamandniall]

LOUIS: So, I heard you like bad boys… I time travel in Animal Crossing.

[larryziamandniall]

LOUIS: You were wise to seek help from the world's most deadly weapon. LOUIS: It's me.

[larryziamandniall]

ZAYN: I feel like I can be myself around you. LIAM: You’re weird and quiet around me. ZAYN: Yes.

[larryziamandniall]

HARRY: Thought I was meowing back at my cat for the past hour, but it was just me and Louis meowing at each other from different rooms in the house.

[larryziamandniall]

LOUIS: Oh, here’s my award for the most rules broken! LIAM: That’s not an award, it’s an angry letter from our boss. LOUIS, hanging it on their wall: Well, it has the word ‘most’ in it, so I’m calling it an award!

[larryziamandniall]

ZAYN: I need to dye my hair. NIALL: … ZAYN: Or get another tattoo. NIALL: … ZAYN: Or a new piercing. NIALL: Why? ZAYN: To, you know, appease the mental breakdown gods.

[larryziamandniall]

HARRY: What situation is not instantly improved by the addition of fishnets, I ask you. NIALL: Being a fish. HARRY: Well, shit.