wherever you go, there you are

28 | tumblr elder, big idiot

[doyouknowwhatimeme]

[serenity-bitty]

reminds me of

the shellfish allergy NO NO FUCKING S HRIMP OR HE D IE post

[p1netre3s]

reminded me of this

[bobbs]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I love visiting people who have some kind of pet reptile because they're always like "would you like to hold the reptile" and I'm like "of course I would" and then the rest of the conversation happens with me just holding a random reptile and the reptile Has No Feelings about the situation. They always just sit there, probably vaguely wishing to return to their heat lamp but clearly exuding an energy of This Might As Well Happen. and then I put it back in its enclosure and go home and the reptile very clearly has no strong feelings about the situation.

[teaboot]

what annoys me about explaining evolution to people who don’t think it’s real is that everyone’s idea of how it works seems to be from this

Whereas the reality is far more like

[teaboot]

Was not expecting this many of you to resonate with Millennium Death Plinko

[sufficientlylargen]

One of these days the horse is gonna come out of pinko with opposable thumbs, and then we're all in trouble.

[important-animal-images]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Two animals who appreciate the Warm Lamp

[mikkeneko]

[pointnclick]

haters will hear me scuttling inside their walls

[ratliker1917]

the fact that pro-monarchy arguments have degenerated, over the past few centuries, from “the king rules by divine right and is accountable to nobody but god”, to “uhm the royals generate a lot of income from tourism” will never stop being extremely funny to me

[ratlicker1917]

the monarchs… bad. but the castles? oh, the castles are positively lush with rats… 👅

[ratliker1917]

Delete this account immediately.

[world-heritage-posts]

world heritage post

[porcelain-rob0t]

the european mind cannot comprehend the 48 oz dunkin bucket

[derryderrydown]

Excuse me while I look something up...

1.4 litres????

[politenotice]

[interestingmistakes]

[sophsun1]

The Birdcage (1996) dir. Mike Nichols

[glamrockmike]

realizing that the online sphere and especially tumblr is NOT a good sample for ‘what everyone thinks’ is so, so, so good for your mental health and moral OCD. i swear to god. realizing that you don’t have to live your actual life like you’re being hunted for sport because the average tumblr user will hunt you for sport for wording something slightly weird or engaging in the wrong stuff or whatever is so incredible. like no you’re actually not fucked up and evil for not donating or for watching that one indie cartoon or questioning a post that everybody is agreeing with. that’s just tumblrs georg making you feel that way

[estro-boi]

[loveridden1999]

if i was a soccer player i'd simply kick that ball in the goal instead of wasting everyone's time

[ilovetodrinkwater]

Hwve u ever tried music listening before. omg

[mavity]

fumbled the interaction

[gay--dog]

man half of my mutuals are named some shit like Snooble at this point im doing some poob as bullshit in my life

[discount--dracula]

wbat the hell you weren't even exaggerating

[imsoofuckingsad-deactivated2018]

it’s like i always say: fuck

[tastylemonbread]

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

[gryffon]