all of that pride and hope, that pure fucking ( false ) sense of belief that this could solve so much - all of it, faded away as soon as i realized exactly what he was demanding. green eyes growing stark wide and full of concern, stuttering while i fought to compose my own thoughts through the countless possibilities that lead to the absolute worst; at this point, i hadn't spoke a word and it was pretty clear how i felt about his suggestion by my lack of input.
he could die.
he could die.
he could die.
"you could die, alec- i…" his voice shot a wave of calm throughout my entire being, although unable to stop the way my heart just beat erratically in the pit of my chest. my head spun, frozen in place, hating myself for even amusing the idea of injecting him with something capable of taking him from me. “i trust you. i believe in you. you want one hundred percent confirmation? i’m your man. besides, that little implant will alert you if anything goes wrong and you can fix it. don’t doubt yourself.”
he was right, god ━ i hated when he was right, especially when it was something so trivial. just feeling his hand on my face, the way his skin against mine pulled me back down to earth, right back to him, “okay.” the word fell from my lips in a soft murmur, stumbling forward and into his touch, my hands finding their way around his waist to allow my body to lean into his━━ the energy around him exalted nothing but pure confidence, but in what? in me? yeah, he said he trusted me and i knew he believed in me but… “you're right. it'd be selfish of me to deny you this, just because i'm scared to lose you. so- okay.”
without another word, i pulled away and stepped back, my gaze lingering on his a little too long before i turned and walked across the room and over to the locked door; fingers tapping at the screen to unlock the main door: 101522.
my stomach churned with a mix of nerves and curiosity, hand shaking as i opened the door to the high containment BSD-4 room, stopping dead in my tracks while running through the lists of pathogens capable of doing what it needed - while keeping him alive and treatable. it wasn't until my eyes caught sight of the little glass vial / bottle for ‘klebsiella’ that i knew. reaching for the bottle, i turned and retraced my steps back out of the room, allowing it to shut and lock behind me before moving back to his side, looking up at him still sitting on the table in the center of the room with a furrow in my brow.
i moved with a sense of purpose, prepping the area. laying out a needle, syringe, alcohol to clean the skin with; pulling up his vitals on the wall-to-wall screen behind him via implant, just so i could monitor him. it wasn't until i paused and watched how steady his heartbeat was, resting and calm, that i realized how right he really was. this was going to work, i could do this.
redirecting all my attention back to him, i moved back between his legs, delicate fingers rolling up the sleeve of his right arm to expose the vein just along his inner arm. “antibodies and t-cells recognize very specific pathogens and so are aimed precisely at one target… which will make you seem sick. untouchable.” my voice was no longer shaky, but poised. emerald eyes lifting to meet his towering gaze from above, i just smiled; free hand smoothing over the skin along the side of his neck, “i'm injecting you with the pathogen found in meningitis. it'll take a few days to present any serious symptoms, but by then, you'll be taking the antibiotics needed to get it out of your system.”
throat dry as i swallowed down any doubt i still held, i began to prep the area of his arm; filling the syringe with enough of the pathogen to do it's job, based on his body's BMI. focused on the task at hand, i aligned the tip of the needle to the crease along his inner arm and pushed through the top barrier of his skin, deep enough to inject him directly before pulling the needle out and immediately applying pressure to the puncture sight.
exhaling, i just stood there and studied his vitals - eyes shifting back and forth between his face and the screen behind him. i knew the answer, but i had to ask: “are you sure you want to do this?”