The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Side blog for @catchingdreamscountingstars - my LSSC archive [to be eventually started...hopefully]

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The Colbeard

Stephen tries out some new face options.

Introducing A New Friend

Yeah!

Stephen's Next Big Decision

Play us a song, you're the keyboard lad...

Announcing: an Announcement!

Stephen Colbert Makes a Huge Announcement about Fuckface von Clownstick's Huge Announcement!

The Late Show Tooncast: I Want American Asses

June Is A Lovely Time For A Wedding

Looking forward to Justice Scalia's dissenting opinion of this video

Stephen Gives 20 for the Troops

Finally, a reason to exercise.

Only In Monroe - July 2015

Apocalypse Dow

A message from the Supply Lord of The Afterscape.

9th Rock from the Sun

Stephen discusses the latest news from 4.67 billion miles away

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Reward Offered For Celebrity Look-Alike Cheetos

Wait a minute, we're rich! We found an entire bowl of Fuckface von Clownstick!

Big Changes To Your Facebook News Feed

Changes in Facebook's algorithm have Stephen concerned. Do we really want to see more baby photos?

Fun With Presidential Polling

Given a choice between Clinton, Fuckface von Clownstick, and a giant Earth-crushing meteor, a surprising number of voters prefer to take their chances with death from above.

Canadians Chant "Four More Years" During Obama Speech

Despite that awkward three-way handshake, Obama received a rousing sendoff after his speech to the Canadian parliament.

Late Show Cultural Translations

Stephen explains the subtle changes he makes to The Late Show to cater to different cultural sensibilities around the world.

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Stephen Colbert Kisses A Dog

Stephen should be able to kiss whomever he wants, away from the prying eyes of his laptop.

Fuckface von Clownstick Spams The United Kingdom

Apparently collecting greens fees from Scottish golfers didn't raise enough cash, so now Fuckface von Clownstick is hitting UK residents where it hurts: their inboxes.

The Queen Of England Is Getting A Raise

It's about time England gave their hard-working Queen a raise. After all, someone's gotta pay for all those corgis she eats.

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Late Show Legend Testers: Can Pennies Kill?

In this exciting new segment, Stephen puts the "pennies can kill" urban legend to the test.

Stephen Celebrates Iceland's Win In The Euro Cup Tournament

In more "bad things happening to England" news, their soccer team was defeated by Iceland in the Euro Cup tournament. Also, we called it "soccer" instead of football.

Who Let The Red Cross Decide What's Cool And Not Cool?

Doesn't it seem like every time you hear about the Red Cross, there's always some kind of disaster?

Faux Monks Are Scamming New York City's Tourists

Not only are fake Buddhist monks roaming the streets of New York, it turns out that screaming guy on the subway might not be the real Jesus.

The Rio Olympics Are In Total Disarray

Corruption and crime aren't the only things plaguing the Summer Olympics: they're also facing actual plagues.

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What Happens When The British Pound Drops

Stephen heads up to the roof to demonstrate what can happen when the British Pound takes a steep fall.

George Will Is Now George Won't

The conservative columnist drops his Republican party affiliation, and instantly becomes the most eligible "unaffiliated" man in politics.

Unseen Footage From Kanye West's "Famous" Video

You watched Kanye's provocative new music video, now see the part they won't show you on Tidal.

Stephen Colbert Is Genuinely Freaked Out About The Brexit

To get a local perspective on the UK's big vote, Stephen checks in with anonymous British child care worker Mary P.

The Late Show's "Lesser Pope-pologies"

Pope Francis recently apologized for the Catholic Church's treatment of gay people, but Stephen doesn't think His Holiness went far enough.

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Bernie Sanders Still Has A Path To The Late Show

Apparently he didn't make this clear enough last night: Bernie Sanders is here to stay.

Big News About Burger King, Egypt, And Bob The Drag Queen

Stephen recaps the week's biggest news stories, like the new "Mac n' Cheetos," Egypt's lopsided pyramids, and a can't-miss performer at New York's Pride rally.

Local Hero Nelson Hidalgo And His Amazing Party Van

No matter how many speakers Hidalgo crams into his van, he's still not the loudest person from Queens.

Adventures In Closed Captioning (Sorry Harriet Tubman)

Eagle-eyed Late Show viewers may have noticed some slightly inaccurate captions during Michael Ian Black's appearance last week.

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Why Am I Watching Congress On Periscope?

When House Speaker Paul Ryan pulled the plug on C-SPAN cameras during the Democrats' sit-in, they had to get creative.

Thank You Congress For Sitting On Your Asses

Congress has finally done something interesting! Also, Stephen does not want to live in a world where Paul Ryan gets to decide what's on television.

Fuckface von Clownstick Has Left The Country

Did you hear that Fuckface von Clownstick is on a business trip to Scotland? That poor country, now they have two legendary monsters.

Ticketmaster Wants You To See More Cover Bands

Love cover bands? Ticketmaster thinks you will.

Soccer Commentator Goes Nuts After Iceland Win

Fans in Iceland are overjoyed about their incredible win in the Euro Cup soccer tournament, none more so than the man who called the game on TV.

Stephen Colbert's Midnight Confessions: Twitter Edition

You tweeted us your deep dark secrets, and now Stephen will read them on the air so millions of people can judge you.

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Stephen, You've Got Something In Your Eye

Tonight we bring you a rare glimpse at one of Stephen Colbert's mysterious pre-show rituals.

Democrats Stage Congressional Sit-In For Gun Control

They're fighting for two things 90% of Americans support: stopping terrorists from getting guns, and sitting down.

Hillary Clinton Questions Fuckface von Clownstick's Business Record

Clinton went on the offensive this week, blasting Fuckface von Clownstick's record as a businessman. Fuckface von Clownstick, in turn, blasted Clinton for just about everything else.

Setting The Record Straight On Frog Genitals

There's a fine line between "scientific diagram" and "frog pornography." Stephen attempts to find (and move) that line.

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Cartoon Fuckface von Clownstick Spotted Busking In Times Square

Faced with financial problems in his cartoon campaign, Cartoon Fuckface von Clownstick has turned to the kindness of strangers on Broadway.

Fuckface von Clownstick's Campaign Has No Money, Wall Street Has No Love for Elizabeth Warren

As Hillary considers Wall Street's threats about Elizabeth Warren, Stephen offers some advice to the woefully underfunded Fuckface von Clownstick campaign.

Stephen Colbert Takes The Gloves Off: Gun Control

You'd think the government might do its job and make some laws to protect us. Well, think again.

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The Correct Way To Pronounce "Alexander Skarsgård"

Alexander comes from a long line of Skarsgårds. He tells Stephen about one ancestor who owned a bar, smoked a cigar, and played guitar.

God Wanted Cleveland To Win NBA Championship

Cleveland brings home an historic championship, and Stephen consults a higher power to learn how they pulled off the win.

What's Happening Inside The Fuckface von Clownstick Campaign?

Stephen isn't the only one wondering what's going on at Fuckface von Clownstick campaign HQ. Meanwhile at The Late Show, there's a new summer dance craze: the "Fuckface von Clownstick Bump."

Stephen's Live Colonoscopy Ends In Disaster. Alexander Skarsgård Still Missing

It's easier just to retweet this clip than to actually watch it.

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The Late Show Has Gone To The Dogs

Stephen is concerned about his newest writer, whose jokes are a bit ruff.

Lin-Manuel Miranda To Leave Hamilton, Oprah Endorses Clinton

It is a time of comings and goings: Lin-Manuel Miranda's leaving Hamilton, and Oprah's joining Team Hillary.

Exclusive Preview: Adult Entertainment For The Blind

The Late Show takes you behind the scenes of the adult entertainment industry, to show you how they produce content for the visually impaired.

Big Furry Hat: Father's Day Edition

Any proclamations Stephen makes about fatherhood while wearing the hat are now and forever law. Only I may eat in the car! The hat has spoken!

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Can Demi Lovato Complete the Star Spangled Challenge?

Demi Lovato and Stephen Colbert must sing the national anthem in 30 seconds or less. Can they do it? Can you?

Forget "Hiddleswift," Make Way for Power Trio "Colbiddleswift"

News that friend of the Late Show Tom Hiddleston is dating America's sweetheart Taylor Swift leaves Stephen feeling like the odd man out.

Rubio Re-Runs, McCain Accuses, and Fuckface von Clownstick Hints at Divorce

While Fuckface von Clownstick struggles through a tricky week, Stephen is surprised to see John McCain and Marco Rubio making headlines.

Did Led Zeppelin Steal The "Stairway To Heaven" Riff?

Stephen remains impartial as he investigates claims that guitarist Jimmy Page stole rock's most iconic guitar riff from another song.

The Late Show's Midnight Confessions

Slide into the booth and get ready to spill your guts. It's time for Stephen Colbert's favorite Catholic tradition: Midnight Confessions.

Late Show Exclusive: Newly Discovered Presidential Love Letters

Following the discovery of a secret love letter from JFK to a mistress, Stephen reveals his own trove of long-lost erotic presidential notes.

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The Primaries Are Over, So Buckle In for the General

Now that the presidential primaries are officially over, Stephen steels himself for what lies ahead: the general election.

Russian Hack Attempt Thwarted By Late Show IT Department

Hey Russia: if you want damaging information on Trump (or Stephen Colbert), all you need is a TV remote.

Do Not Eat The 2,000-Year-Old Butter

Eager to learn more about an ancient stash of butter discovered in Ireland, Stephen consults an expert from ages past.

Beast Reality: Frog Sex Positions

In a new segment called "Beast Reality," Stephen examines the latest entry in the Kermit Sutra. Let's review.

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What Did The Late Show Get Fuckface von Clownstick For His 70th Birthday?

Stephen wanted to get the presumptive Republican nominee something special on his 70th birthday.

Washington, DC Could Become A State, and Millennials Are Losing Their Grips

Bernie Sanders comes out in favor of statehood for our nation's capital, and Stephen examines a new medical study concerning millennials.

Stephen Expresses Concern For Fuckface von Clownstick's "Manservant," Chris Christie

Stephen becomes concerned after hearing some news about New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, so he reaches out with a message of love.

This Diagram Explains Fuckface von Clownstick's Response To Orlando

Fuckface von Clownstick used our latest national tragedy to score political points. But why? Stephen tries to connect the dots.

Daniel Radcliffe May Get Naked In His New Play "Privacy"

"Let's just say it's possible" says Radcliffe, when asked if he will be taking off his clothes during his new play at New York's Public Theater.

Three Words Sum Up Daniel Radcliffe's New Movie: Farting, Erection, Corpse

Daniel Radcliffe's new movie "Swiss Army Man" has a complex plot, yet it can be summed up in three simple words.

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Stephen Colbert: Despair Is A Victory For Hate

Stephen opens The Late Show with his thoughts on the heartbreaking events in Orlando.

Hamilton Audiences Forced To Endure Broadway's Second-Best Scenic Design

Stephen celebrates highlights from The Tony Awards and breaks down the disappointing loss by Hamilton in the Best Scenic Design category.

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Is Stephen Colbert Going To Race In The America's Cup?

Stephen suits up to join Jimmy Spithill for a ride on the high-speed hydrofoil sailboat he'll captain in this year's America's Cup.

New York City Tells Times Square Elmos: Stay In Your Lane

The city has enacted some simple new rules to keep Cookie Monster, Spider-Man, Chewbacca and the rest of the Times Square characters in check.

The Trailer for "Rogue One: A Star Wars Story" Reveals a New Character

Sharp-eyed listeners might be able to pick out a secret new character in the trailer for the new Star Wars movie. Now, for the first time anywhere, Stephen reveals that character's identity. Fans, meet Whoopin' Willie.

Stephen May Be The Only American On This America's Cup Boat

Captain Jimmy Spithill invites Stephen for a ride around New York harbor on the boat he will race in Bermuda during this year's America's Cup.

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We're All Just Players In A Great Alien Video Game

Stephen and Paul examine the possibility that our entire existence is just a level in some gigantic alien video game.

J.K. Simmons And Harry Potter Provide Stephen With Fresh Inspiration

J.K. Simmons inspires Stephen to start exercising (in 10 years) and the opening of the new Harry Potter play inspires him to fly to London.

As Clinton And Fuckface von Clownstick Mull VP Options, Bernie Hangs On

While the media discuss potential running mates for Hillary Clinton and Fuckface von Clownstick, Bernie Sanders has changed his slogan to "The Struggle Continues."

Cartoon Fuckface von Clownstick Explains His Plan To Win Over Sanders Supporters

The idea that Bernie Sanders voters would switch their support to Fuckface von Clownstick sounds downright cartoonish.

Stephen Colbert Brings You The Week In Sports

From the Stanley Cup finals to the Olympics to LeBron's alley-oop, Stephen brings you this week's highlights from the world of sports.