I’m def thinking about it too much but it’s so fun how the very end of pt 2 seems to summarize and characterize (my perception of) Choi so well, particularly in relation to Soleum and how (I think) Soleum perceives Choi
Soleum thinks of Choi as a someone who will do anything to save one person (faceless market?), a lively agent with calculating eyes and a smiling mouth (223)— someone who often does things without relying, telling, or relying on others, all for the sake of others.
in short, Soleum admires Choi a lot, but doesn’t let himself trust him. He knows Choi would try to help him, but Soleum doesn’t let himself rely on others (which might be why he tends to think Choi is lying? He’s correctly called Choi out multiple times but has also been fooled by Choi multiple times).
it creates a weird mismatch, where Soleum’s perception of Choi doesn’t match how much he’s willing to trust Choi. It’s pretty easy to blame Choi for this mismatch, primarily because it’s Soleum’s pov but also because… there’s ‘no reason’ why Choi shouldn’t be able to live up to Soleum’s perceptions/expectations. Don’t people tend to blame the other person when expectations are failed? “Choi shouldn’t have don’t that,” or “Choi should have believed Soleum”. In truth, it goes both ways. What if “Soleum gave Choi a chance” or “if Soleum took the time to explain to Choi” or “if Soleum didn’t jump to drastic measures”.
It’s a bit ironic because Soleum does tend to blame himself at a certain times, but he blames himself in more self destructive, extremes ways. It’s most obvious with Braun. Yet, even tho Soleum blames himself for expectations and there’s an impression that he shouldn’t rely on Choi, he wants to rely on Choi anyway. Asking for help with the dream incubator, hoping that Choi would rely on him, trusting that Choi won’t interfere with his plans, etc etc etc.
and, because it’s Choi, I think Choi would be somewhat aware of all this. Soleum’s idealization/perception/expectation of Choi, the concept of DER Choi that doesn’t fully line up with GSGW Choi, the lack of trust that Soleum has, the ways Choi has ‘failed’, the ways Soleum has been disappointed— I think Choi is aware of all of it. His failures probably eat him, especially mixed with the knowledge of not living up to the expectations of someone who admires him
So, it’s pretty nice that part 2 ends with Choi ‘succeeding’ in one of the worst possible ways
it mirrors their relationship in the entire series, doesn’t it? Choi doesn’t live up to expectations, Choi fails his own expectations, Choi is unable to help or save Soleum in an ideal way despite his best intentions and efforts. Removing the contract and cutting off Soleum’s relationship to Daydream? Failure. Recognizing 130666 and taking him away from Daydream? Failure. Soleum regaining his ‘humanity’? Failure. Checking that Soleum’s home exists? Failure. Finding a safe way for Soleum to go home? Failure. Being a reliable senior? Failure Saving the world in a way where no one dies? Failure.
it feels like failure after failure after failure. His successes seem like nothing in the face of his failures. In truth, his success seem like nothing, because his successes are expected. He’s brought to the village to save Soleum, and eradicates the evil there. He’s a key factor to saving the children in the Ocean Palace. He removed Soleum’s contract. He found out Soleum’s identity. He took care of the dream incubator when Soleum wasn’t there. He was able to save Soleum’s consciousness when it mattered. With every failure, he did something that succeeded,,, it just doesn’t feel like that, because it didn’t succeed in an ideal way.
and so, the ending of part 2. While feeling defeated, while having to rely on others. He can’t even talk to Soleum, to the point where another agent relays his words. He sends Soleum home without feeling any joy.
ugh, it really feels like it collides with Soleum’s perception and hypocrisy. Soleum, who doesn’t trust Choi but always ends up relying on him. Choi, who no longer trusts himself with Soleum but successfully sends Soleum home
am I?? Getting my point across??? I don’t even know how to express it
it’s extra crazy because I think it’s a full circle, too. Choi, the agent who will do anything to save one civilian. Choi, who sends the civilian back home. From start to end, he is DER Choi. Perhaps Soleum’s perception is skewed or Soleum’s mental state affects his thinking, BUT Choi is DER Choi, the DER Choi that Soleum admires and knows so well. He’s imperfect and fails a lot and his goals seem to conflict with Soleum’s, but it’s a given that he would save Soleum, because Choi is the agent who always does his best to save just one person. The reason Soleum wants to rely on Choi despite not trusting him is because Choi is DER Choi.
no matter how much Choi seems to fail, he is a savior. Even if he’s not an ideal savior, even if the act of saving has become expected, he’s a savior. So, even when he saves Soleum, he will blame himself for saving Soleum in a more ideal way.
extra ironic cause I think by the end, Soleum has ‘accepted’ (air quotes bc he could just be too tired to care) the way Choi is, and when he leaves he’s only grateful. But Choi, who may have internalized Soleum’s mismatched perception of him, might only think that he ‘failed’.
to Soleum, it’s a success. To me, it’s a success. Even to the fandom (who tends to harp on Choi’s ‘failures’), it’s a success. But somehow, there’s a fairly good chance that Choi thinks of it as a ‘failure’, like all of the other ways he’s ‘failed’
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