totally shush @laundrydayjack-blog - Tumblr Blog

when someone talks to you, finds out you’re in a relationship, and then promptly stops talking to you. fucked up.

wanting to go to lua’s grave but also wanting to live in this weird bubble of self-denial that I’ve been in for almost three years. I didn’t want to believe she existed. then when she finally did exist it was only for a few hours. and now it’s like she was never there...but I know she was because I can feel where she would have been in my heart. the missing part.

#lua.

that’s my fucking cutie ass pie fucking boyfriend

#i'm going to let myself freak out for like 24 hours

I’m a motherfucking BOYFRIEND now, bitches.

oh god, I don’t think I can do this...he’s going to say no or some shit.

alhussan-deactivated20210820

I keep getting drunk on really disgusting alcohols.

feeling your disinterest and it kind of sucks.

#ak.

Having Charli here is great because now I can fucking have some fun.

#charli;

I’d die right this second if it meant I could hold you again. But I don’t trust God enough to make that happen.

#lua;

i fucking miss you

#ak.

oursadsongs-blog

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“I will hold you close, because it is a lonely world.”

I feel like I’m putting myself out there but I also feel like I’m stopping myself from other things. Maybe I want to go out for a wild night with Charli, maybe I want to have an orgy back in Maryland, maybe I wanna not give a fuck about anything for a while...but I can’t stop myself from giving a fuck.

What happened?

Ss far as bands go I thought we were the closest but I feel like I’m forcing Ri and Alex to speak to me whenever I try...like I’m bothering them. Maybe they’re just caught up in the honeymoon phase for a while. They’ll come back, hopefully, they’ve just gotta discover themselves as a couple first? Maybe.

I don’t know.

I'm a mess lmao

sebscinammon

skyvibrations

SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN WHO I USED TO BE AND WHO I’LL BE TOMORROW.

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totally shush