LAURA JANE BURN

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[laurajaneburn-blog]

View of Fuego from Acatenango. #volcan #fuego #acatenango #guatemala #travelling (en Volcán Acatenango, Chimaltenango)

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El corazon de cristal

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It is raining in Guatemala ☔️

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No 👎

[laurajaneburn-blog]

"There are two apparently opposing forces that govern our lives. No, not good and evil. Love and fear. That’s right: the opposite of love is not hate but fear."

I’ve spent a good proportion of my time assessing my attitudes towards love and fear especially of late. Changes in my life have led me somewhat to develop a fear of love, not necessarily a fear of being in love, I’m still not entirely sure where I stand on the matter of being in love if I’m honest, but definitely the fear of feeling love towards another and not having it reciprocated. I go through phases of shutting myself off completely, I tell myself that the most efficient way of stopping hurt is to deny myself the feeling of anything at all. I’ve since learnt that this is hardly a life worth living, to exist without love is pointless to me. It is the driving force in everything I do. I’ve spent a lot of my life feeling apathetic, I find motivation very hard, I get anxious about everyday life and it takes a lot of my energy to perform tasks which most people consider completely normal. I have days where I find everything so overwhelming that I can’t even get out of bed, the thought of it terrifies me. In recent months I’ve come to learn what true friendship is. The love and support of my peers gives me a reason to keep going and gives me the strength to face my fears. There is little else that can do this. Similarly the love and respect I have for these individuals has become a source of energy for me, love is a very powerful emotion, it has pushed me to do things that I never thought I could, things way beyond what I consider to be within my normal reach or comfort zone. It is for this reason that I have realised that I need to continue to express love, I was wrong to try and tune it out, it was kinda like cutting off my nose to spite my face. I need to love for me, not for anyone else and not for the need to be loved in return. Getting over the latter is hard but when I do manage it everything seems to fall into place. Obviously maintaining the balance is important, it is foolish to live a life without any fear, after all fear is necessary for survival, fear exists as a mechanism to warn us of potential dangers, things which cause us harm. It’s a vicious cycle I guess, we open ourselves up to getting hurt by choosing to accept love. I think that’s why it’s important to love honestly and truthfully without the need or expectations of return. I know this all seems incredibly naive and theoretical, that real life just isn’t like this, this isn’t how it all works. It can be though, I’m sure of it.

[laurajaneburn-blog]

This time next week I'll be on a plane flipping my chips. First stop is LA where I'll be chilling out waiting the reality of the year I've got ahead of me to sink in. Then it's up to San Francisco to see my beautiful Colombian friend for beers, a brief Spanish lesson and a whole lotta reassurance. After that it'll be time to head towards the first of many sketchy border crossings into Mexico where my adventure really begins. I'll be travelling to Peru via Central America, Colombia and Ecuador. The aim of the game is to get to Lima where I'm wrapping up my trip with the amazing Project Peru who run a children's refuge in Zapallal. I'll be living and volunteering there for three months which I'm stoked about and terrified of in roughly equal measures I'd say. I'm travelling entirely overland solo (apart from that scary bit between Panama and Colombia which I have to fly) so it's kind of a big deal for me. I've been fundraising for Project Peru in the months leading up to my departure and I'd love to reach my target before I leave. The current total stands at £770 which means I need another £230 to make it up to the £1000 the refuge needs. All of this money raised goes directly to the refuge in Peru, the charity is a very small organisation which is run out of genuine concern, love and respect for these children. (The money in no way pays for my time spent there, I'll be covering my living costs out of my own pocket which I'm more than happy to do.) Please help me support this worthwhile cause, it really does mean a lot to me. Gracias por tu apoyo.

[laurajaneburn-blog]

I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and there will come a day when all labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you.

[viatortravel]

Exotic fruits found in a Lima market.

[laurajaneburn-blog]

I don't know what this is but I'm willing to bet I'm allergic to it.

[jennybeckman]

Closer (2004)

Why you’ll feel lucky to be single: Apparently, people love cheating. They cheat when they’re in love, and they cheat when they’re falling out of love, and they just cheat, cheat, cheat. People are terrible, basically.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

...

[laurajaneburn-blog]

10. Hurt people hurt people. Love them anyway. Although, it's totally okay to love them from a distance.

[sasayaki-wa-uso-deactivated2014]

[laurajaneburn-blog]

This shit was weird man.

[laurajaneburn-blog]

Angry scribbles. #doodle #fuckoff

[laurajaneburn-blog]

Angry scribbles. #doodle #fuckoff

[laurajaneburn-blog]

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Painting.

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Thinking about leaving, how I should say goodbye with a handshake or an embrace or a kiss on the cheek, possibly all three.

[laurajaneburn-blog]

'We met at the wrong time. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway. Maybe one day years from now, we’ll meet in a coffee shop in a far away city somewhere and we could give it another shot. So until then, I’ll just have to continue feeling this way everyday. Sad.'