Lauren Canonico, LCSW

Lauren is a collaborative, affirmative, body and sex positive Relational therapist, supervisor, consultant and adjunct in private practice in NYC.                                                                                                                                     For practice information, check out: www.therapywithlaurennyc.com

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Do you in 2023… and beyond. #thanksbuzzlightyear #2023 #youdoyouboo https://www.instagram.com/p/Cm4dSbEOqLo/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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Tweets via @raquel_willis Image text: “it is OK to mourn today and fight tomorrow. You deserve your anger, grief, and fear, but remember the power will always be with the people. This is not the first time institutions have failed us and it won’t be the last. Stay vigilant. We keep us safe. Pool your resources. Support abortion funds.” #roe https://www.instagram.com/p/CfMUcRGu1tM/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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It is NEVER too late to begin honoring yourself. Or adapt the ways that you honor yourself. Wise words from post image, adorned with a red poppy: “Those who feel entitled to your time will be offended and confused by your boundaries. Set them anyway. It’s not too late to begin honoring yourself.” - Dr Thema @dr.thema #boundaries #wisdom #selfcare #selflove #itsnevertoolate https://www.instagram.com/p/CaAbS_Lu3_E/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Michaela Coel’s Emmy acceptance speech is still rattling around in my brain a week later. Full speech: “I just wrote a little something, for writers, really,” she said. “Write the tale that scares you, that makes you feel uncertain, that isn't comfortable. I dare you. In a world that entices us to browse through the lives of others to help us better determine how we feel about ourselves, and to in turn feel the need to be constantly visible, for visibility these days seems to somehow equate to success—do not be afraid to disappear. From it. From us. For a while. And see what comes to you in the silence.” She concluded, “I dedicate this story to every single survivor of sexual assault. Thank you.” She may have intended this for writers but I think we can all benefit from the permission to be quiet, to disappear for a while or go off the radar in the ways we need. It’s so hard to get acquainted with ourselves with all the noise. Taking a break to listen inward is more than okay - I firmly believe we all need it from time to time. And maybe more consistently than that, even. Thank you, Michaela. * (at Greenwich Village) https://www.instagram.com/p/CUVTGxir3mu/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Remember to hit refresh on yourself as often as you do on Instagram. Burnout is NOT a badge of honor. - @drjuliacolangelo Julia is so right. Burnout is the opposite of a badge of honor. It’s a flag that our bodies and minds are throwing up to signal that something is out of whack. Instead of judging yourself for being tired or tuned out, try and greet it with curiosity. What might this feeling of burnout be in response to? What are you doing more of? Less of? Craving? Missing? Especially with so much opening back up and so much pressure to “get back” out there, keep an ear tuned into yourself to know what is feeling good, what’s taxing the hell out of you with minimal benefit, what’s downright missing the mark in what you need. If you don’t know what you need, or can’t figure out how to translate those flags from your mind and body, that might be where therapy comes in to help. (at Manhattan, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRhDRcDMGfB/?utm_medium=tumblr

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I have read this excerpt to at least half a dozen patients in the past few weeks. Something about feeling pressure to emerge from quarantine like a butterfly is really pushing so many of our buttons around how we measure up. To ourselves. To where we thought we’d be. To others and the lives we imagine they have from afar. There’s all this pressure to have something to show for this lost year. But it wasn’t lost. You were surviving a pandemic. And that is PLENTY. Time going by isn’t the best measure, regardless. This goes for birthdays, anniversaries, new year’s eve etc etc. Here’s my reminder that growth doesn’t happen on a time line. Nor should it. In one experience we can gain leaps and bounds after a long time of protected stillness, as Anais Nin wrote, somehow with this wisdom at age 24. 👀 Image text reads: “Another year? What of it? Do we love and grow by the hour? Do we not in a moment sometimes age years through an experience? Do we not in a year sometimes move not a step further than where we stood before?” - Anaïs Nin, Journal of a Wife (at New York, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/CQv6I01M0Si/?utm_medium=tumblr

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It’s #mentalhealthawarenessmonth. And so, a reminder to rest. Mental health is health, and it deserves to be treated as such. Regardless of your productivity, your accomplishments, or the length of your to do list. You deserve rest. (at Greenwich Village) https://www.instagram.com/p/CPToNHwjkvg/?utm_medium=tumblr

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#idahobit is an acronym I just learned today but is one I like very much. Today is #idahobit or International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, Intersexism and Transphobia 2021. A day which shouldn’t need to be a day because it should be every damn day. (at Greenwich Village)
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(Belated) Infertility Awareness week wrap up post. Though, it’s actually just fine that it didn’t happen right after #infertilityawarenessweek . Because infertility awareness and mindfulness of the trauma and grief surrounding infertility should not be limited to one week. Infertility awareness means - Not asking people when they are having children or pressuring people to have children - Not assuming that everyone in treatment will end up with a baby to take home (and dear god, do not tell people to relax or about your friend’s sister’s cousin’s neighbor who magically got pregnant on vacation after years of failed treatments) - Waiting for people to ask to see baby or kid pictures rather than putting them in the position of having to decline or explain - Understanding that attending your baby shower might be downright triggering and no, you are not owed an explanation - acknowledging that life after infertility exists, with the impact continuing on long after treatment, planning or trying ends for many folks, even though having a happy, full life is possible with or without children - Recognizing that being able to access treatment or pursue adoption is a privilege, and that many are excluded from these based on financial resources, size, sexual or gender orientation and relationship status Shout out to creators: @uniquely_knitted @fatpositivefertility @tanyahubbardcounselling @missconceptioncoach @thepleasureanarchist @drcassidy All tagged on their respective slides. (at New York, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/CO5nDiBDx_F/?igshid=1oeg1a8rjcfnm

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You don’t have to go back to doing things exactly the same way you did before the pandemic. So many hushed conversations, tinged with shame, are being had right now about the fear of “going back.” Aren’t we supposed to be elated at the thought of “returning to normal”? At “getting back out there”? Etc etc. No. Not necessarily. There’s no one right way for all of us to feel. Excitement over vaccines has opened up honest acknowledgment of fear. You don’t have to be ashamed if there are elements of covid life that have worked for you. Maybe you feel safer and more productive working from home. Maybe you’ve found all the cooking and baking projects that you never had time for before to be deeply satisfying and mindful. Maybe being more intentional about how and with whom you spend your time has been incredibly clarifying. Maybe the quiet and space has allowed you to locate yourself more fully and deeply. Maybe you’re freaked out at the thought of being in crowds again. Or taking the subway. That. Is. Okay. You don’t have to be ashamed for having mixed emotions about “going back.” Broadly speaking, you only have to return to what works for you. Old “normal” wasn’t really working that well for many of us. We were overtaxed, overtired and overwhelmed. And we don’t have to go back to that. We CAN begin to examine what we do genuinely miss. What fueled us in ways that have been hard to replicate. Where the pain points are. And return there. Without abandoning ourselves again. (at New York, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/CNC_l9DD7Gb/?igshid=9xahfqqw9vhm

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500,000. The magnitude of this loss. The communal toll this takes. It is unfathomable to me. Please be kind to yourselves. We are collectively carrying so much right now. For some it’s heavy, for others it’s foggy. Or lonely. Or sad. There’s no right way to carry on in a global pandemic. But you are. And for that, you deserve so much credit. And gentle acknowledgement that there are so many reasons why you may not be as responsive, as productive, as upbeat. Whatever. This is all just so much - and this horrible milestone is further evidence of that. It’s okay to take time, pause, and allow yourself to feel that. I know that I am today. (at New York, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/CLnaftKDJI9/?igshid=qtikiu34051f

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#Repost @themshealth with @get_repost ・・・ Today is #NationalComingOutDay, celebrating the ‘coming out of the closet’ of LGBTQ+ folks, and it’s also a good day to remember a few things: 🌈 Yes, coming out is amazing if you want it! 🌈 Not everyone WANTS to come out 🌈 Not everyone is safe to come out 🌈 Some folks have been forced to come out 🌈 Some folks have anti-climactic comings out 🌈 Some folks are still waiting to come out 🌈 No one owes “coming out” to anybody else 🌈 For many people, “coming out” is a daily experience 🌈 Coming out can happen in different iterations 🌈 Coming out is a journey AND above all, really, it’s on straight and cisgender allies to make sure the world is actually a safe, accepting place for LGBTQ+ people to actually come out in. Sending you love, no matter what “coming out” looks like for you. And this is for sure an incomplete list! Please add whatever else coming out can look like 💓 . . . . . . . #themshealth #themshealthmag #nonbinary #genderqueer #genderexpansive #bodyneutral #bodypositive #beyondthebinary #gendernonconforming #theythem #nonbinaryvisibility #nonbinarypride #nonbinarywellness #nonbinaryfitness #nonbinarynutrition #nonbinarymentalhealth #nonbinarysexuality #nonbinaryidentity #nonbinaryhealth #nonbinarybodilyhealth #nonbinaryreproductivehealth #comingoutday #comingoutday2020 #lgbtq #lgbtqpride https://www.instagram.com/p/CGNghAljrfj/?igshid=1jpwe4gn15hqo

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We’re basically month out from the election, so the need for intentional self care around how you take in news, social media and engage with others is only getting greater from here. Loving this post from @blessingmanifesting offering strategies and really important reminders for taking care of yourself amid political stress and anxiety. If we take care of ourselves, we are so much likely to be able to stay engaged for the long haul, after all. (at New York, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/CF0JiqijkrP/?igshid=c1m5h72z3ms6

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You cannot heal from trauma without acknowledging that we are drinking from a poisoned well. #breonnataylor Tweet via Kimberly Atkins @kimberlyeatkins https://www.instagram.com/p/CFfmlKRDyZO/?igshid=1jp9wxzu344u2

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I have no words, so sharing those from @shoplatinx. #Repost @shoplatinx with @get_repost ・・・ Wow. This passing feels like such a hit. The waves you made in a white male-dominated system will be felt by everyone for years to come. Thank you RBG. 👑 A mother, an academic star, a feminist - a woman.❤️ Ruth Bader Ginsburg, you were a force to be reckoned with.✨ (🎨: @crystalmoody) #ShopLatinx #rbg #ruthbaderginsburg #feminist #feminism #rbgart #womeninpolitics (at New York, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/CFTHVExjbX2/?igshid=3fmy8undciby

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I have unintentionally been posting and sharing about rest quite a bit in recent weeks. While some of that is definitely self directed (Hello third trimester pregnant body, I see you, I swear!), I suspect much of it is coming up related to where we are with covid. So many of us are stuck in this feeling of being exhausted and under stimulated all in the same breath. We might, juuuust for example, be desperately in need of a good night’s sleep or rest, and instead find ourselves seeking connection via *cough* endlessly scrolling through Instagram. Or planning our next DIY project. Or researching the vacation that we WILL BE TAKING whenever it is safe and responsible to do so. It is really, really hard being in this weird in between position of trying to meet two possibly opposing needs all in the same moment. We might feel like we don’t deserve or shouldn’t need rest, because we “aren’t doing anything.” But trust, living through a pandemic, with constantly shifting work-home boundaries and a tougher road to social connection, is most definitely SOMETHING. And something that just may require more rest. Have a gentle weekend, everyone. Cartoon via Brendan Loper for @newyorkercartoons, reads “Wow, it’s only eleven - that still leaves plenty of time for me to ruin tomorrow by staying up doing nothing on the internet.” https://www.instagram.com/p/CFSgEKsD6w1/?igshid=12hrnvqljdpfd

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The teletherapy cats were done with today long before I was. 😂 Hope you can all recharge this weekend like my cats do every day. Unapologetic in their resting - as we all should be! https://www.instagram.com/p/CE-jqxoDIel/?igshid=lcafjjc161ns