NVCR Programming Manager

[nospaceofregret]

Strexcorp Prime Public Announcement

There have been several policy changes since I took over as CEO of Strexcorp Prime, but this one is by far the largest and most needed.

I’m pleased to announce that Strexcorp Prime no longer supports or endorses a smiling god.

Too long have the good people of this company slaved away in service to an absent deity without their best interests in mind. But now, we all take our own destinies in hand. We work for profit, not the unraveling of the universe.

As part of this policy change, we are implementing an outreach program, through which we will provide support and aid to those still recovering from the atrocities committed by this company in the name of a smiling god.

To enroll in this outreach program, just contact our Customer Support line, and they’ll transfer your call to one of the program directors.

We’ve got a hopeful future ahead of us all. Let’s work together to make it the best one it can be!

Sara Hamilton

CEO

Strexcorp Prime

[laurenmallard]

Ever had a wet dream about your co-host Kevin?

I am far too busy to have lascivious thoughts about my employee.

[teddyridgeley]

ALL IN THE NAME OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT...

Send my muse prying asks about anything and everything… please?

[laurenmallard]

You do make a good point, there, but aren’t you just /curious/ about what he would be like?

[internvxnessa-deactivated201407]

"As a Kev? I’ve never thought about it."

[laurenmallard]

As a Kev, yes. But also /upset./

[laurenmallard]

…And?

[internvxnessa-deactivated201407]

"And as a hardworking Strex employee, shouldn’t he have his name respected? He does so much for the company, after all."

[laurenmallard]

You do make a good point, there, but aren't you just /curious/ about what he would be like?

[laurenmallard]

internvxnessa But he’s so much more of a Kev to me.

[internvxnessa-deactivated201407]

"He doesn’t like to be called Kev, though."

[laurenmallard]

...And?

[laurenmallard]

internvxnessa But he's so much more of a Kev to me.

[laurenmallard]

*whispers* Kev.

[lmpandora]

"That was decades ago, Cecil! Anyway, we want to know what we can do to keep your business. We here at StrexCorp Synernists, Inc. are dedicated to the betterment of life through branding, social networking, and upbeat music."

[lmpandora]

Really wanted to draw this duo, and I have a feeling that they really loathe each other deep inside :p

[laurenmallard]

"I am sensing a bit of undue hostility. Do you want to talk about it?”

[itsnotkev-deactivated20141231]

"Nnnnope."

[laurenmallard]

"But Kevin, I have only the best interests of the company. And you are part of that. You belong to us."

[laurenmallard]

"Why, Kevin, do I really look like a female dog?”

[itsnotkev-deactivated20141231]

"No, not at all. 

You actually look like a vile person.”

[laurenmallard]

"I am sensing a bit of undue hostility. Do you want to talk about it?"

[laurenmallard]

"Oh my gosh, Kevin. You don’t have to be such a Grumpy Gus!” She gave in on that point, at least, emphasizing the full pronunciation of his name.

[itsnotkev-deactivated20141231]

"I’ll stop being a Grumpy Gus when you stop being a Bitch."

[laurenmallard]

"Why, Kevin, do I really look like a female dog?"

[laurenmallard]

"You know Missus Mallard, would it hurt for you to, oh I dunno, do something useful for Strexcorp? At least once?"

"I could say the same for yourself! But I wouldn't, because that would be negative and counterproductive!"

[itsnotkev-deactivated20141231]

“♪Excuse me, Laureeen.♪”

"But I asked you not to call me Kev, and I would appreciate it if you listened to me. 

Now, I rarely feel anything. Ever. But when it comes to my interns being ridiculed, I do tend to get fairly livid.

So please; Back off with your ideas of being emotionless. You yourself are not void of having emotions and feeling—You get angry and irritable lots of times! More than I do, in fact.”

[laurenmallard]

"Oh my gosh, Kevin. You don't have to be such a Grumpy Gus!" She gave in on that point, at least, emphasizing the full pronunciation of his name.

[itsnotkev-deactivated20141231]

"Kevin—" He corrected.

"It wasn’t carelessness so much as it was expressing my feelings on a certain subject. Vanessa didn’t appreciate the music that was being played—she felt that it was mocking her and she included your name. 

I don’t like it when Vanessa is made fun of.  So don’t do that. And I won’t name-call.”

[laurenmallard]

"Feelings? Since when do we have feelings? Gosh, Kev, I would have thought that you of all people would have been much better at shoving aside those useless, distracting things."

Oh yes, she was doing it on purpose now. 

[itsnotkev-deactivated20141231]

"Oh, Lauren…

I am so sorry. I wasn’t thinking when I said that. I don’t think about a lot of things, actually.

If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, then tell me now or forever hold your peace.”

[laurenmallard]

"Honestly, Kev, you should be much more careful about what you say. Much more careful. Carelessness is neither becoming nor productive."

[laurenmallard]

itsnotkev

I’m a what?

[itsnotkev-deactivated20141231]

"A b… a..

I don’t have a good cover up for that word.”

[laurenmallard]

This almost makes me want to /not smile/.