Don't look back in anger || Death OS
The pain spreads through my whole body, making me want to scream, to cry in pain, to cry out for help. But I couldn’t. That was what the Capitol, especially the Gamemakers wanted to see. They wished to see me beg for my life...I wouldn’t do it. No way. So, instead of crying and trying to break free, I realize this is the end. There will be no revenge. Everything was for nothing. I want to focus myself on these thoughts but the pain pushes them away from my mind.
The chain cuts my skin, but I don’t look down. That would mean I’m giving myself, my SOUL to them, besides, I’m scared too look at the blood. So I focus my sight on Theodore. On my killer. He’s a career, it’s no shame to go like this, is it? But that 12 flashes in front of my eyes, distracting from the pain for a too brief quarter of a second. But I know that 12 wasn’t based only on my mad skills with the bow and arrow, but on my revenge. On my reason to survive, even if that went against their safety, because, god dammit, I would have done everything I could to make them kneel in front of my parents graves. To say they were sorry.
I’m already seeing the room spinning around and my head stupidly heavy when, suddenly, I feel a wait on my back. Something pushing me towards the ground. Something that can crash me to death. A scream gets stuck on my throat. More pain. And then...nothing.
Everything is completely black. My eyes are open and I wonder if I also lost the ability to see now. If that’s my price to pay for two lives. The worse is that I deserve it.
I feel the cold floor under my feet. The sense of light perfume in the air. A slight breeze. But still darkness. For the first time since the arena, I’m remembered of Acton. He saw me killing someone. And he saw me dying. A tear rolls down my cheek, as I think on how selfish I was. As I realize how much I miss him. The sound my tear makes hitting the ground is too surprisingly low in this silent place but, with it, the room starts to gain color.
Tones of pink, blue and white. The most peaceful place I ever saw. Cold clouds under my bare feet. A calming music. The sense of flowers in the air. Everything is more nitid now. Except for a figure in the shadow. Someone that look like a middle aged woman, walks towards me and my eyes open with astonishment. Her dirty blonde hair touches her slim shoulders. Her hazel eyes express an uncontained happiness. She’s covered in a white dress, standing, right in front of me, in the most peaceful way I ever saw her.
“Mom.” The word leaves my lips before I can think of it.
Sighing in shock, I take my hands to my throat, my mouth open. She just smiles, giggling softly. I don’t have time to try myself again, as a man appears from the same shadow where my mom previously stood. His hair is black, his eyes of a beautiful green. No one would ever relate us if it wasn’t for our equal smile.
“Dad.” It happened again. This voice is so soft, so feminine, different from the rusty sounds I got so used too. But this is my voice. The one that I dreamed off so many times. “Oh my God,” I exclaim, in tears, running towards my parents. They pull me into a hug instinctively and I feel their hands stroking my hair gently. I finally have that feel I belong somewhere. It makes my unbeating heart smile in excitement.
“I’m sorry! I failed, mom, dad. I couldn’t end it! Kids will still die. I couldn’t revenge your death, I’m so sorry,” I cry, not even bothering to see how long my restored tongue can work. But it doesn’t seem like it’s ever going to fail me again.
“No, we’re sorry, my dear,” mom starts. “We’re sorry that you thought you needed vengeance. Someone will end the Hunger Games one day, I’m sure of it.” She stops and my dad takes the lead. “This wasn’t your fight,” I look up at them to see him smile. “We’re proud of you, Lavender. Not matter what.”
This words soothe me in a strange way. Maybe it’s because there’s no anger left. Maybe I’m just done with feeling this constant need to revenge. I spent half of my life thinking about this, making up plans in my head...I think I can let it go.
For them, I will let it go.
