lavenderme

[imovedimovedimovedimoved-deacti]

Do any of you know about that one painting with Aphrodite being born out of lava with a black swan by her side or did i completely hallucinate that? Been searching for a while but i can’t find it for shit.

[thecavenest]

I tried googling that description but no luck either, anyone might know what painting this might be (or if it does exist? cause it sounds sick lol)

[semicolonthefifth]

It took a bit of googling magic, but I think I’ve found it.

This is “Kindled” by Laura K. Cannon, which is part of her portfolio that can be found here: http://navate.com/2wk6im1sartc92iwza7il07bxq2mk5

Is this what you were looking for? @sakyubaso

[tiffanygladiator]

I’m in love.

[nothisacrayon]

Y'all I’m-

[tftftdrwggjhuftguugufuh-deactiv]

the original artist states:

“This went kinda viral on tumblr and people are arguing whether it’s a painting of Aphrodite. It’s not. If she must be a goddess, I think she’d be Pele, the Hawaiian goddess of fire.

But it doesn’t depict anyone specifically. After some soul-searching I realize that, while I wasn’t thinking about it at the time, it’s a painting about battling depression. I live with MDD so the idea of emerging from the depths is a powerful thing for me.

Is she being born from the lava, or is she climbing out of Hell? I think it’s both.”

so. not Aphrodite, but someone beautiful nonetheless

[catchymemes]

[omg-fag]

y’know that post that’s like “every interaction between men and women is an act of performance are and the man has no idea” because that’s what this is

[honeyrenaissance]

My professor talked about how women aren’t used to asking for things in the work place, such as raises, because we’re conditioned to downplay our achievements and hold off on asserting our value. She discussed how, even now at this stage in her career (a published doctrate), she shakes when she askes to be considered for a raise and about the first time she was really successful at getting one. After class I asked her what she asked her boss and she winked at me, took me to her office, and asked me to take notes.

She said she practiced this technique like 5 times in her office before she requested a meeting with her boss. I’m gonna share it with you guys because I really loved it.

You start off by thanking your employer for their support (whatever that means in the context of your work environment). You then say that you would like to take some time to discuss next year’s salary. You say, allow me to refresh your memory regarding some of my accomplishments or contributions from the past year, and you present a written summary of all that you’ve done. You close by saying, I hope that next year’s salary reflects this list of contributions and you thank them for their time and see yourself out.

I just loved how she made it seem so much less daunting of a task. She said not to underestimate your achievements as women have a tendency underreporting what they’ve done.

The fact that she shared this with me really meant a lot as well as women really need to be there to empower each other and help guide each other towards success. So if you end up using this, let me know! I want to see how it works for you ^_^.

[niqabisinparis]

!!!

[michaelsheen]

Watch Masters of Sex: The Complete Series

I have uploaded the complete series of Masters of Sex on Vimeo, for everyone’s viewing pleasure (and as a big fuck you to Showtime) since it’s no longer available on streaming platforms. All episodes are linked individually below the “Read More” and please enjoy – it was a show that certainly ended prematurely. I’ve also included a couple other links as a sort of viewing guide.

Keep reading

[lxvingyxurself-deactivated20200]

please don’t reject care and compassion because you feel like you don’t deserve it. no matter how small your wound is, it is worth being tended to. please don’t let your brain tell you otherwise. you deserve love and care.

[neck]

you decide

[closet-keys]

this is literally what being a woman is like, lmao. 

okay so you want to have a relationship? here are the culturally acceptable options: 

Fetishize your own inevitable abuse so you can convince yourself you chose this to make the reality of your situation less painful

Moralize your own inevitable abuse so you can convince yourself you chose this to make the reality of your situation less painful

what’s that? an option where you have a mutually supportive partnership with another human being where you don’t feel poisoned and just waiting to die or like you don’t have a sense of self left at all? but instead feel like you’re just a person who feels safe and supported by sharing their life with another person? sounds like feminist bullshit, sorry

[lavenderme]

Notice a thing, work on the thing, move forward

So since that last post I met someone. And we have clicked, like I haven't clicked with someone for a long time. I feel safe and comfortable.

And I am not going to lie, it scares the shit out of me.

He is younger, but only 5 years and tbh I thought he was older initially. We talk about things - little and big, which is where my regret relationship and I made our big mistake. And we have agreed to just see what happens.

I have not hidden anything, but not all the background has come out yet. Just when does one disclose that years of emotional and financial abuse has left you scarred and with a hair trigger for panic?

[jehovahhthickness]

[softpeachydarling]

Women don’t have trust issues, they have pattern recognition.

[prettyvixenavenue]

[aquarianoccultist]

Somebody finally put this into words

[lavenderme]

From feircly commuted to feircly single

Man, the middle ground... where the fuck is it?

I spent from 15 to 26 in relationships. 2 relationships, both toxic and abusive, both 5 years long. Because that was what life demanded, wasn't it? And sex was only for a commited relationship (hello Catholic upbringing).

From 26 to 30 I faffed. I fell into a relationship quickly but got out when the first signs of it being unhealthy appeared. That made me prioritise being single for a while. 2 years later I went on a couple of dates with people, had some truly bad sex, but didn't automatically fall into relationships. So progress.

The year I turned 30, wow. I started to come into my own a bit. I had a couple of one night stands and discovered that younger men were more a match for me sexually than those closer to my age. I got duped by a man who was engaged, but handled it the best I could when I discovered the truth.

Then I found a man, who I clicked with, and we had fantastic sex... but was broken. And my fix it side took over for a 2 year relationship. I am not proud to say that I was the abusive one at times in that relationship and I tried my hardest to make it up to him. We still talk and are both in a better place these days.

I found a man, my age, open, honest and supportive. And to be honest it is my greatest regret that it didn't work out between us. But 2 people struggling with depression and anxiety and trying to find balance between work, study, family and divergent life goals didn't work.

And since then I have been feircly, stubbornly single. I have had lovers, always younger than me, but they are without exception not up for a relationship.

I have been the third in a polyamorous couple and discovered that I don't really care about gender in my lovers. I have been a mistress, twice. I have slept with people over a decade younger than me - partly because the sex is better, partly because they don't ask for a relationship. My current lover is 13 years my junior, and we are well matched.

I can now label myself if I want to as pan and demi sexual and every choice of lover makes sense.

But the thing is, while jumping into a relationship is not healthy at all, neither is the avoidance that is happening now. I get super uncomfortable at the thought of sharing my space with someone for longer than strictly necessary. I have filled my house so there is physically no room for anyone else and I love it. I joke that my wardrobe doesn't have space for anyone else and that flows through to the rest of my life.

So balance. Finding it, keeping it, being open to it. That is my challenge for the year.

[heavyweightheart]

the line between not going out as an act of self-care and not going out as a symptom of depression is but a gossamer thread

[sup3rflicious]

This is so beautiful. She was bullied on the bus at school because of skin this and did this self love exercise. She’s so beautiful and I hope she realizes it. You’re a diamond young black girl. Don’t let anyone or anything steal your joy!

[marqweabyss]

😭😭 yes sunshine, you are beautiful.

[spazzified]

i’m not crying

[crimeshetyped]

I hope this goes viral and other young black girls/women struggling with a lack of self love adopt this exercise

[afrocosm-deactivated20231121]

this is really important

[thinfatfit]

instagram.com/bodyposipanda

[parkerspicedlatte]

If you see this on your DASHBOARD please re-blog so that the previous blog knows they haven't been muted!!!

[feministism]

[theunitofcaring]

load-bearing

Sometimes people hit a place in their life where things are going really well. They like their job and are able to be productive at it; they have energy after work to pursue the relationships and activities they enjoy; they’re taking good care of themselves and rarely get sick or have flareups of their chronic health problems; stuff is basically working out. Then a small thing about their routine changes and suddenly they’re barely keeping their head above water.

(This happens to me all the time; it’s approximately my dominant experience of working full-time.)

I think one thing that’s going on here is that there are a bunch of small parts of our daily routine which are doing really important work for our wellbeing. Our commute involves a ten-minute walk along the waterfront and the walking and fresh air are great for our wellbeing (or, alternately, our commute involves no walking and this makes it way more frictionless because walking sucks for us). Our water heater is really good and so we can take half-hour hot showers, which are a critical part of our decompression/recovery time. We sit with our back to the wall so we don’t have to worry about looking productive at work as long as the work all gets done. The store down the street is open really late so late runs for groceries are possible. Our roommate is a chef and so the kitchen is always clean and well-stocked.

It’s useful to think of these things as load-bearing. They’re not just nice - they’re part of your mental architecture, they’re part of what you’re using to thrive. And when they change, life can abruptly get much harder or sometimes just collapse on you entirely. And this is usually unexpected, because it’s hard to notice which parts of your environment and routine are load bearing. I often only notice in hindsight. “Oh,” I say to myself after months of fatigue, “having my own private space was load-bearing.” “Oh,” after a scary drop in weight, “being able to keep nutrition shakes next to my bed and drink them in bed was load-bearing.” “Oh,” after a sudden struggle to maintain my work productivity, “a quiet corner with my back to the wall was load-bearing.”

When you know what’s important to you, you can fight for it, or at least be equipped to notice right away if it goes and some of your ability to thrive goes with it. When you don’t, or when you’re thinking of all these things as ‘nice things about my life’ rather than ‘load-bearing bits of my flourishing as a person’, you’re not likely to notice the strain created when they vanish until you’re really, really hurting. 

[everything-is-optional]

Almost two weeks after reading this, and I’m still kind of blown away at what a ridiculously fruitful definition this is.  Like I had no idea that load bearing things were a thing that needed to have a word for them, but now I’m like holy shit I’m so glad that there’s now a word I can use to refer to this really important class of Thing.

[brightlotusmoon]

This is astounding. Load-bearing. Forget spoons, this concept is wonderful. I’m going to update my Spear Theory with this.

[thantos1991]

@thebibliosphere @sister-forget-me-not

[cimness]

Handknitlife’s Grown-up Starry / test knit