a woman ; a wildfire

INDIE PEYTON CHARLES PRIVATE + HIGHLY SELECTIVE "I THINK HE THOUGHT IT WAS EASIER FOR ME THAN EVERYONE ELSE. BUT I WAS PROBABLY WORKING TWICE AS HARD." TO-DO LIST INBOX: 005 DRAFTS: 001 QUEUE: 000

[faeryeyedking-arc]

my stress levels are through the fucking roof. i’ve been super absent on all of my blogs because i just can’t focus and i want to cry a lot and i’m just not doing super well. i’m hoping things get resolved tomorrow and i can take a bit of time to relax and then finally be back on all blogs actually doing some writing which i’ve really missed

[gyllenhala]

Sleeping With Other People (2015)

[lawsofvodka-blog]

welcometoteamz‌:

    Was this a test? It would be so much easier for both of them if they let the others think the blue serum was responsible for his regaining his memories… if the Liv and Major took it along with the cure, and wouldn’t suspect anything. Just because it was easy though, did that make it right? “…I mean, I could have told you that was the case. That it was the serum, but… I wanted you to know the truth. You deserve to know the truth, and I guess telling you was my way of proving to myself that you were right. That it is possible to be a new man, even with my old memories.”

    He can’t help but relax at her smile, and return a doofy one of his own. It’s like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders, and the fact she doesn’t hate him despite having every reason to… it’s unexpected, but… he shouldn’t be surprised. Not given her habit of leaving him in shock and awe. She was willing to give him a chance, to give them a chance. He expected they’d take it slow, she wasn’t likely to pounce on him like she had the night before… that was fine. Slow was fine. Comfortable, if not slow. Her comfort was the most important thing. Trust. He still had to earn that. He shouldn’t get any gold stars for honesty, that was supposed to be a given, right? “…I can do breakfast, yeah. Not like I have anywhere else to be. I think it’ll be good to talk about it, for us to figure this out… and for me to figure out… where to go, what to do…”

     “I’m the one who needed the truth. They all can have the partial truth and it’s okay. But if anything is gonna build here, then I needed the truth and you gave it to me. A little late but you got there. You do get points for that.” Peyton leans over and kisses his cheek before heading into the kitchen. 

“You’re cooking, right?” She questions though it’s hardly a question at all. Peyton isn’t hopeless in the kitchen, but she is a big fan of takeout and that’s for a good reason. “I can pick the tunes and pour us each a glass of good morning wine. That’s a thing right? Because of it isn’t it totally is now.” Okay maybe she’s a little nervous. But it’s the kind of nervous she always had with him, butterflies, curiosity, a need to know what’s going to happen next. It comes so suddenly now that, for the most part, the air is cleared. So a glass of morning wine would be good. Or something else. “Oh wait it’s mimosas for breakfast. That’s the morning drink. And much better for a toast.”

[lawsofvodka-blog]

posttraumaticennui‌:

“The wrong choice.” Liv brushes at her cheek, sniffling slightly. “I spent months trying to find the courage to tell you, and when it came out - in the most violent, barbaric way - you ran. I don’t blame you, but it reaffirmed everything I’d feared. That if I laid the truth in front of you, you wouldn’t have been able to handle it.” She looks up at Peyton, her expression full of months of pain, of the anguish and the hurt. “I was still me, Peyton. No matter what brains I was on.”

     At this Peyton feels herself harden ever so slightly. “That’s not fair, Liv. If you had told me when it all first happened, hell had you just told me of your own accord I would have stayed. I may have made the wrong choice in leaving, but you made the wrong choice in lying.”

[lawsofvodka-blog]

hello it is i barely active woman here to do drafts after i eat dinner

[rocktheholygrail]

iamaly: ☀️☀️Good Morning☀️☀️

[lawsofvodka-blog]

welcometoteamz‌:

    “I should have.” He nods, taking a deep breath and nodding. He should have told them all. “Should have told you from the start… it shouldn’t have taken one of your friends starting to die. Not that it’s… I mean, I’m not telling you because of that. Entirely. I am being honest, because… I don’t know. I guess I do want to change. If it’s possible… because I do care about you, and you deserve honesty.”

    Frankly, he’s surprised she’s even thinking about them right now. Had that really been on her mind, as much as… everything else? The old Blaine would have been smug, and he wants to be, but he’s more shocked than anything else. In spite of it all, she’s not writing him off. Not giving up on him, at least, not so easily. “…so I can keep at it, yeah. I… you want me to go, right now? You probably need time to process, to figure out how to tell everyone else. I mean, I can do that. I should do that. I shouldn’t presume what you do or don’t need…”

     “I already know there’s no way for me to tell them all of this. Because they already hate you, which they have every right to.” Peyton have every right to hate him too, and maybe she would if she hadn’t seen more than just the bad guy that they all saw. “So I think...I think we should just tell them you got your memories back this morning. You want to live as a new man, this allows you more peace to do that. Yes, I’m very aware the irony in me suggesting we both lie to them after asking you for unfailing honesty. But it’s different. They have no reason to hear your full truth and look past it.” At least this way things could be solved and Blaine could continue on with less issues.

     Crossing her legs and making herself comfortable on the couch, Peyton shakes her head. “I’ a lawyer, Blaine, I can process quickly when I need to.” The corner of her mouth turns into a teasing grin before getting serious. “But you can go if you want to, for what’s it’s worth I wouldn’t mind you staying and having breakfast with me. We can talk more about this. I’ll text Liv and tell her you got your memories back this morning and it’s all clear. Unless you want to tell them all the truth, the whole truth, that’s up to you.”

[lawsofvodka-blog]

welcometoteamz‌:

    He had planned to sleep on it, but didn’t exactly come to him either. Instead he laid awake on the couch most of the night, deliberating. What was the best way to tell her? Was there a good way? Would she hate him for not telling her the moment it all came back, or when she came to visit him at Shady Plots? Was it too late? Maybe, but it was… the right thing to do, even if it meant…

    He had wanted to change his life. How people viewed him. He had wanted to change himself. Even when it looked like Peyton and Ravi were reconciling, he stayed on the straight and narrow. It wasn’t about earning her favor, earning her affection. Even if she turned him away, if they all wrote him off as the Old Blaine.. at least he’d know he made an honest effort.

    Sitting up and scooting over, he let out a heavy sigh. “…when you kissed me last night, crawled into my lap… I told you that we should wait. In case my memories came back, and I was the old me again. I think… I don’t know if I am or not. My memories came back, but not because of the serum. They came back a couple days after I first lost them. I didn’t know how to tell you. All of you. I guess… I was afraid. Of the accountability, of what it would mean… and then everything happened so fast. You got kidnapped, then you came to see me at Shady Plots. I should have told you then. Then Major got the pneumonia, and now his life’s in danger… he was willing to test the memory serum along with the cure. No one would have known that they would have come back anyway. I could just tell you that my memories came back when I took the serum… if everyone takes both at the same time, no one would know… but me.” Averting his gaze, he chewed his lip. “I’m sorry… that I went this long without telling you. Telling them. I’ve made them be zombies a few days longer than necessary. Major’s been sick longer than necessary. I didn’t know how, and again… I was a coward. It was you though, really, that’s making me. Not… to be with you, or anything, but… your faith. I didn’t want to face my reality, but you believed I could get my memories back and stay the new improved me. So that’s… what I’m trying to do. I’m not perfect. I still did terrible things, and I waited… longer than I should have. If you wanted me though… and I don’t blame you if you don’t, now… you deserve the best version of me. Actually, you deserve better than even that, but you deserve honesty. I’m still the same guy I was last night… I don’t want to think I’m the guy who… I don’t want to be. I know it’s not that simple… but… I care about you? …and I couldn’t… let anything happen, with a big lie hanging over it. One that would just blow up in my face anyway. Hurt you more than it probably hurts right now. Your friends… are going to be okay. They’re right to resent me, I’m not going to begrudge them that. I won’t begrudge you, I’m just… yeah…”

     “Shit.” It’s all she can manage as she sits down beside him and takes it all in. And it’s a lot to take in. Of course her first instinct is anger. How could it be anything else? Once again he’d lied. But...well she could understand it as frustrating as it was. She could fault him for it but she could also forgive him. Because he told her now instead of carrying this all on too far. They had barely begun to rebuild and now they didn’t have to do any of that building on a complete foundation of lies. 

     “You should have told me,” Peyton starts evenly, “but I get why you didn’t. If I were you I wouldn’t have either. You saw the opportunity for a new life and you grabbed it. Which at the very least tells me you really want that and that’s something I can support. I just...Blaine I-” She cuts off. She’s not exactly the best at actually admitting how she feels. Mostly because she’s not all that used to having feeling like these. “I care about you. I want to see where this, us, can go. I just need you to promise you’ll be honest with me. Can you do that?”

[lawsofvodka-blog]

posttraumaticennui‌:

“… Just as well we’re not in a court of law, then.”

     “Why can’t you just be honest with me?”

[faeryeyedking-arc]

you believe god is a woman // indie margo hanson - est. 2017

[lawsofvodka-blog]

posttraumaticennui replied to your post: faeryeyedking: two people from izombie had small...

I need to watch The Magicians tbh

you doooo, it’s so good!!!

[faeryeyedking-arc]

two people from izombie had small roles in the magicians and one person from the magicians had a small roll in izombie. basically what i’m saying is that zombies are magicians, thank you for coming to my ted talk

[vaememes]

✧   BROOKLYN  NINE  -  NINE  SENTENCE  PROMPTS   !  

*  A VARIETY & MIXTURE OF THE SHOW, CHANGE PRONOUNS AS NEEDED / FITTING .

❝ The next time I see you I’d like you to be wearing a necktie. ❞

❝ Get rid of the mouse, and get your act together. Now. ❞

❝ I see what you’re trying to do, but it’s not gonna work.. ❞

❝ Wow, looks like he hates you even more than me. ❞

❝ God, you must have been the worst fourth grader ever. ❞

❝ Giving him a name makes him human. ❞

❝ I’m fairly certain you would be caught. ❞

❝ What’s the most valuable thing in your office? ❞

❝ You mean my job as an amazing detective/genius? ❞

❝ Did you tell her we slept together twice? ❞

❝ I’m not gonna lie, that turns me on a little bit. ❞

❝ I’d wondered why all the birds had suddenly stopped singing. ❞

❝ You’re going to leave my precinct and my task force alone. ❞

❝ Come on, who wants to take this seriously? ❞

❝ I bet she tucked herself in the bed too tight and got stuck.  ❞

❝ Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick!  ❞

❝ Oh, is he sore from high-fiving criminals he’s gotten out of jail? ❞

❝ Did he get a murderer off who then murdered him to celebrate? ❞

❝ A cop and a defense attorney sleeping together? That’s highly unusual. ❞

❝ It’s a personal matter, involving a personal friend and his personal uncle. ❞

❝ So you remembered to turn off your signature, right? ❞

❝ I promise you, as soon as they tell me, you’ll be the first to know. ❞

❝ You won. Go ahead and gloat, you toad. ❞

❝ Look, I promise I won’t tell anyone, alright? My lips are sealed! ❞

❝ This is a secret. Do you understand me? ❞

❝ You do know what they do to witches up there, don’t you? ❞ 

❝ Well, I think we handled that with dignity. ❞

❝ Are you making fun of my stutter? ❞

❝ Oh. Uh… Sorry. I think I’m feeling a little awkward. ❞

❝ How do we make it not weird? ❞

❝ I just realized I’m never gonna be able to say that to his face. ❞

❝ You know I’ve made a lot of improvements since you left? ❞

❝ I know we just met, and I don’t wanna be too forward… ❞

❝ I’ve got that feeling about you. I like you. I think tonight we- ❞

❝ They just gave me ten years in prison.. ❞

❝ You can’t do anything except disobey orders and screw up! ❞

❝ Why are you dressed up? You look like an idiot. ❞

❝ What’s up? How can I help? ❞

❝ Well, we’ll just break you down to nothin’ and see what time it is. ❞

❝ Speaking of which, I’m getting hungry. What’s for dinner? ❞

❝ Why do people like these things? They’re just shiny rocks. ❞

❝ We’re gonna talk to a lawyer and get a professional opinion. ❞

❝ Looks good! Can barely tell you hulked out in here. ❞

❝ I just threw a bunch of popcorn on the floor. It wasn’t that hard. ❞

❝ All I did was be the only person who believes in you. ❞

❝ Somebody’s tryin’ to kill me, and I need protection. ❞

❝ I can smoke as much weed as I want. ❞

❝ It’s this kind of bickering that makes us such an adorable couple. ❞

❝ I saw an opening and I had to take it. ❞

❝ But this isn’t over! I will hunt you to the ends of the earth! ❞

❝ What?! But we saw him throw them in the garbage! ❞

❝ Nobody’s ever gonna see that footage; the case was cut and dry. ❞

❝ It’s not like I’m dying to tell anyone I saw your- ❞

❝ I’m dating my son-of-a-bitch ex-husband; who am I to judge? ❞

❝ I’ll let you guys talk! I’ll just close my eyes. ❞

❝ I’ll let you give me a spray tan! Any shade you want! ❞

❝ Massage! I’ll give you a massage! ❞

❝ I’ll also give you full control over my hair and wardrobe. ❞

❝ That really freaked me out and I just want this to end now. ❞

❝ The cheese is amazing. It melts in my mouth. And in my hands! ❞

❝ Come on, you can be honest. ❞

❝ I want old, expensive books. I’ll send you a list. ❞

❝ The tow truck just got here, so that’ll buy us at least an hour. ❞

❝ Tow truck?! What the hell’d you do to my car?! ❞

❝ What we need in here is an armored personnel carrier. A tank! ❞

❝ Well, I’m gonna go follow up on a lead right now. ❞

❝ Woah, no! What’re those morons doing in there?!  ❞

❝ Why is everyone just standing around? Get back to work! ❞

❝ What’d you do? What’d you say? ❞

❝ I hear you can smuggle in crap from outside. ❞

❝ What’re you lookin’ at? You got a problem? ❞

❝ I like you. You got balls.. ❞

❝ I hate to rub it in, detectives, but I told you they’d find me. ❞

❝ Well, he keeps yelling, “Disability for life!” so I think he’s fine. ❞

❝ Who hired you? Who do you work for, pizza man?! ❞

❝ You look out there and see a problem, I look out there and see an opportunity. ❞

❝ What have I become? Was this whole thing even worth it? ❞

❝ All because we shut down a foot massage place. ❞    

❝ Oh, my God. The City has no mayor now. ❞    

❝ Put your magical hands where I can see them! ❞    

❝ Did they make their bust? Did they save the precinct? ❞  

❝ I was behind the bar the whole time. ❞    

❝ I bet they have some awesome name for it. ❞    

❝ Can a paring knife remove a human heart in under a minute? ❞    

❝ I think you guys might be our best option at finding this guy again. ❞    

❝ You know, a bunch of us are going out drinking tonight. ❞    

❝ How did you get over there? Who are they? ❞    

❝ I’ve been calling you. Why won’t you answer your phone? ❞    

❝ We’ve been onto you for weeks, and we finally got you. ❞    

❝ I’ve never seen them before! What is going on? ❞    

❝ We’re on the money trail, and we just found a new lead.  ❞    

❝ Okay, this is bad. This is really bad.  ❞    

❝ Wait… What? Did you say “eat people”? Are you a cannibal, [ Name ]? ❞    

❝ I’m always gonna be one step ahead of you. ❞  

❝ I’m so confused. I don’t know what’s happening right now. ❞

[lawsofvodka-blog]

posttraumaticennui‌:

She could hire a hitman, right? These were acceptable circumstances. She lets out a small sigh, leaning against Peyton as she digs out her phone. “Right. Takeout. My treat. What do you want?”

     “Enough Chinese food to feed all of Capitol Hill,” Peyton responds wistfully. At the very least they’d have leftover for days and that’s be a positive in this situation.

[lawsofvodka-blog]

posttraumaticennui‌:

@lawsofvodka cont [x]

“Vodka warms the cockles of the undead hearts, too, you know?” There’s a light teasing to her voice as Liv leans against Peyton, smiling. “But I suppose cocoa would do.”

     “Did you really think I wasn’t sneaking vodka in? There’s a bottle of marshmallow vodka waiting for us.”

[lawsofvodka-blog]

posttraumaticennui‌:

@lawsofvodka cont [x]

Hard was an understatement. She had lost Peyton, and in the days that had followed, she had lost her family, too. Even after all this time, Liv looked back on that time with nothing less than torment weighing her down, and every time the topic came up, she tried her hardest to avoid it. She closed her eyes as Peyton spoke, vaguely aware of the tears that rolled down her cheeks. “I get it. You were scared. But it was Hell. Major wasn’t talking to me, my family had disowned me, and I didn’t even know where you were. All I had was Ravi.”

     “It was-” Peyton doesn’t know just how to explain it. How to tell her best friend that she was too scared. That underneath that fear there was a hurt. Knowing she’d been lied to after all the time she spent worrying as she watched Liv spiraling. To know that the truth was right there and Liv just hadn’t trusted her enough to share... That was one of the hardest parts of this and part of why she ran away. But it seems wrong to say it, it would feel like she was putting the blame onto Liv when that’s the last thing she wanted to do. “bad. I made the wrong choice. Leaving was just my first instinct and I stupidly went with it.”

[lawsofvodka-blog]

welcometoteamz‌:

    “I know.” Grimacing, he allows himself to take it… because it’s the least he deserves, and there’s no arguing that. “I didn’t know that you still… that you had feelings for me still, when the lie started. Maybe you didn’t, I don’t know… by the time it became clear…” He shrugs, chewing his lip. “I’d say it was too late, but I mean… I didn’t have to get into a relationship with you. I shouldn’t have, knowing there was a big ol’ lie hanging over it. Knowing that you’d find out eventually, and that I’d end up breaking your heart. I should have told you the night I rescued you, or that day you came to see me at Shady Plots. When I did tell you… it was like a weight was lifted. I never did feel the weight of a lie before. Which is why I guess… well, no, maybe you’re just as good an actor as I am.” Fucking hell, why would he say that? Make her think that..

    “Not that it was all an act. A lot of it was. I tried, to be something I wasn’t. I tried to convince myself as much as I did everyone else, but… I lied about a lot of things. How I feel about you wasn’t one of them, that’s the kicker. That was real, and that’s what stings… if we could just write each other off…” Like she hadn’t already? He didn’t want to be presumptuous, but… she was there. They were having this conversation.

     “I did,” she admits. “Because it’s rare that I get feelings for someone at all and I can’t just turn it off like a switch.” It’s why she chose not to get close to people. She didn’t like anyone having that kind of power over her, over her heart. Even admitting to it now feels like she’s handing over a bit of that power to him. But it doesn’t matter now. What’s done is done and they’ll have to move on.

     And then he says that. He hammers home that what he felt for her was real and it shouldn’t matter. It really wouldn’t if she didn’t believe him. But she does. Not because she’s some naive lovesick girl, but because she’s seen it. Peyton knows this is the one thing he’s being honest about and she hates the way her heart aches because of it. “If we could write each other off then we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” she points out with a frustrated little shrug.