Normal (Prologue)- An Ed Sheeran Fanfiction.
It feels weird. Not like ‘I ate something funny’ weird, but more like ‘where do we go from here’ weird. Because where do we go from here. I could have not said it, but also I couldn’t have not said it. But he’s avoiding me now and while I want him to have his space, I miss the red headed bastard. I mean it’s not like I asked him to reciprocate, but he’s sitting across the lobby from me like I told him that I would take out my uterus if he didn’t like me back or something. And I didn’t mean to cause any discomfort, I just wanted to be honest!
I sigh and bring my eyes back to the book I’ve been trying to get through for the past month and a half but haven’t really gotten through the first couple of pages because every time I’ve tried to read through them, I’ve been too distracted by him just being in the same room as me and my heart doing its fluttering thing and my stomach doing its thing that it does of climbing into my throat, when my body is erupting with goosebumps from the sheer excitement of just having him in close vicinity to actually concentrate on the words. Fuck me, I’m still not reading the damn book. I still keep my eyes on it though, hoping that this time, just forcing myself to stare at the page for long enough would make any sort of difference and that maybe my brain will finally recognise just how wrong this attraction towards this man actually is and just move on... But so far no such luck. I see someone, in my peripheral vision, come and stand in front of me and pretending to actually read the book, I take a moment to mark my page (page number 4), and look up to see Stuart standing there with pity eyes. I roll mine as he comes and sits down next to me on the fancy hotel couch.
“He’s just processing it is all,” he says, “he’ll come around.”
“Really?” I raise an eyebrow at him, “‘cause right now he’s being a giant baby about it.”
Stuart chuckles, “You know him. He takes his time with stuff like this.”
“Yeah but it’s not like I asked him to marry me!” I groan.
“Yeah but you’ve gotta admit that it’s pretty out of the blue,” he says. “I mean you don’t just tell someone that you’re in love with them and expect them to react any different.”
I roll my eyes again and mumble, “You don’t expect them to treat you like a stranger either.”
“Wouldn’t you, though?” He asks, “He’s never seen you like that before, you know, romantically, and all of a sudden, there you are, proclaiming your love for him and everything. I mean I’m surprised he didn’t go into shock!”
“He did go into shock,” I tell him. “And he’s still in shock. That’s why he’s not saying anything.”
“Well you’ve got to give him his space,” Stuart tells me. “He doesn’t take these things lightly, so you’ve got to let him spiral and talk to you when he’s ready.”
I groan again, “I know. I just... I miss him.”
“Yeah... that probably sucks.”
“You’re so fucking supportive, you know that?” I quip.
“Hey, I didn’t tell you to go proclaiming your love all over the place.”
“You didn’t tell me to not to either.” I say.
He breathes out a laugh through his nose as he gets up, “come on, we’re heading off.”
I was really hoping to have been normal by this point because the only fun thing about touring the country in a van was supposed to be hanging out with Ed. And Stuart is right, this does absolutely suck... and also about the space thing but mostly that it sucks. I put my book back in my bag and walk over them as they get up to make a move on.
Ed throws me a quick smile with no eye contact and just walks on ahead. And it isn’t a smile really, because his proper smile brightens the room and my mood but what he gives me is like a pursing of the lips that does nothing for the lighting of the room and fuck all for my mood. Actually it makes my mood worse. Stuart throws me a quick knowing look and follows Ed, leaving me drag my feet behind them.
Ed’s already in there looking out the window when I climb into the van. Stuart and Kev are in the back shoving suitcases in boot, so it’s just me and him for now. I try not to look at him as I take the seat that’s as far away from him as it could be. I fail though, letting my eyes flit in his general direction once I’ve sat down, and he’s somehow tried to scooch further in the opposite direction, and MY GOD. I’m about say something, and it’s probably not going to be pretty because this behaviour right here, this is absolutely ridiculous and we need to talk about this like adults and get it done with and right as I open my mouth, Stuart jumps in the back taking the seat right in front of me. He doesn’t say anything, neither does Ed, so we all just sit there in the silence that doesn’t smell like it but definitely feels like the fart ripping through the devil’s butthole.
So I opt out of it and just sit there with my stomach and my heart doing their thing that they do when Ed’s around, except it feels wrong now. And I say nothing. I pull out my book and I stare at the pages some more. Kev gets in the front and the door slams, the sound of all hope being lost, and the whole time all I can think about is what if this is it. This is the way things are going to be from now on.
This is what it is now.
The new normal.
OMG? It’s you! And GIVE ME MORE OF THIS PLS!
Honestly - I already love it. ❤️
OMG I missed your writing so much! This is some heavy shit😉 I can’t wait for more. ❤️
No idea who you are, sorry 🙈(ladies, what did I miss? fill me.in..) but you had me at 'like a fart ripping through the devil's buthole'
More is most definitely needed 😻
