Life Happens.

[lbrianne]

Shower Thoughts

I'm going to start an all-female private investigation firm. Our tag line? "Okay, ladies, now let's get information."

[boobiwan]

me: *remembers that out of the three main protagonists of the new star wars movie not one of them is a white man. that the most shipped pair is an interracial coupe with a black and hispanic man and that we are gonna get a female jedi as main hero*

me:

[jakeperaltz]

[rnutualfollow]

[lbrianne]

So many people wonder what I do. Tonight I wrote out a list of tips and tricks for my client to get her milk supply back up and to help her get back on track with breastfeeding. #breastfeeding #PostpartumDoulasDoThat #BuildingUpSupply #PumpingTips #PostpartumDoula #PostpartumSupport

[i-like-lots-of-things]

what did we do to deserve Hugh Jackman?

[gunsounds-deactivated20170824]

[lbrianne]

Do no harm. But take no shit.

[graphicnerdity]

What kind of monster goes running for fun?

So I was conned into running some 5K bullshit this weekend, and for the past three weeks I’ve been forced to simulate the horror my burrito-stuffed body will experience tomorrow by heaving and sobbing my way through downtown Toronto in front of loads of people. I’m not running anywhere in particular. I don’t have a destination, or an end goal, just a general direction in which I’m supposed to keep moving until I’ve gone far enough to earn a rest from the aimless horror that is running. 

Let me tell you why running is such bullshit.

Running is primarily a survival trait. Early humans developed the ability to run so we could escape predators. Evolution didn’t keep it around so we could go for morning jogs. It was necessarily to keep us alive. 

Running is what you do when you’ve utterly failed to budget your time properly. It is a last ditch mode of urgent transportation. And if you’re running to get somewhere quickly, it usually means you’ve fucked up along the way.

Running is what you do while you’re playing an activity, because it helps you achieve your goal more efficiently. The activity itself is what’s really enjoyable. Running is a sport the same way swinging a badminton racket at nothing is a sport.  

I think what I’m really trying to say is I didn’t train hard enough for this 5K and now I’m regretting it. I’m sorry, running. I didn’t mean to take it out on you. 

[graphicnerdity]

You have your mother’s eyes. You know, except for the colour. Yours are blue and hers were brown. But everything else is pretty spot on. The little black pupils are similar. White around the outside, too. And they could move around and look at stuff. So, yeah, pretty much the same eyes.

Anyone who has ever known the Potter family (via graphicnerdity)

[graphicnerdity]

Harry Potter-Themed Shooters

These drinks are not for beginners. By that I mean only experienced Harry Potter fans will appreciate the puns that went into making them. Full disclosure, a couple of them are awful. I’ll let you figure out which ones. Better yet, serve them to your friends and let them decide!

Other shooters that didn’t make the cut: Lord Vodkamort, Flourish & Blattoed, and Cognac McLaggen.

[youareinloves]

taylor swift is like that aunt that tries to be “hip” with the young’ns and “with the times” and then asks you what does bae stand for and after you tell her she starts calling everything bae even the lamp next to the couch

[taylorswift]

HEY YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAMP NEXT TO MY COUCH AND I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT IT IS, IN FACT, VERY MUCH BAE.

[baileef]

hello i would like 2 let u know my kitten has thumbs and she fully plans on dominating the world with them

[olimar]

please kiss her thumbs and tell her i hope she does a good job and that i love her very much

[sandandglass]

At Midnight, August 19, 2015

[frogmunist-deactivated20190724]

FINALLY SOMEONE WHO IS ABLE TO SPEAK HOW I FEEL.

[orchidvioletindigo]

God bless Chris Hardwick.

[fuckyeahchrishardwick]

god bless the king

[wilwheaton]

MY KING RIGHT HERE. THIS IS MY KING AND I WILL VOTE FOR HIM AGAIN.

[lbrianne]

Yeeeeeesssss, Chris, YESSSSSS.

[imagine-how-is-touch-the-booty]

The worst part about liking classical music is when you forget the name of a piece and you can’t google the lyrics because there are none

[salparadisewasright-deactivated]

[lbrianne]

Me. In a nutshell.

When I was in college a girl friend of mine said "What do you think the guys we're gunna marry are doing right now?" I responded "fucking other women." And continued drinking my beer. I always refer myself to this moment when I wonder why I'm bad at "girl talk" and "sharing my feelings" with other women in my life.

[lbrianne]

#LoveWins #AboutDamnTime