Romanogers week 2021 | Bonus: Family / @romanogersweek
‘Cause, I built a home
For you
For me
Until it disappeared
From me
From you
And now, it’s time to leave and turn to dust. [x]
“This is our second chance. With this, we can bring everyone back.”
The lush landscape looms around them as the whistling of birds echoes in the sky. The cabin is located in the middle of the forest, oblivious to the bustling noise of the city. Oblivious to everything, really. However, a childish and joyful laugh can be heard approaching from the distance in the company of Natasha and that makes Steve delve further into the jumble of his thoughts.
The effect of the days that passed after Thanos’s snap still marked his memories. Everyone they lost. Five years passed, and all the feelings of helplessness and endless anxiety remain.
But they found something in that time, something that they both believed was lost after so much tragedy. A life to give everything for. In the midst of so much pain, Natasha and Steve found themselves. They found warmth in each other’s arms, comfort in the caresses in the middle of the night and love in the union of their lips. And then, then James came into their lives and with him, the meaning of life changed.
Neither of them thought it would be possible, but a feeling of completion suddenly returned. And it was enough. That is why he questions Scott’s words. Is this his second chance? He has already had a second chance, a chance that approaches his side wrapped around Natasha’s legs while bowing his head with a mixture of curiosity and fear at the strangers in front of him.
Scott, Tony and Bruce look at him expectantly for an answer, but he doesn’t know what to do. He feels helpless again. They have all experienced loss. He felt loss, too. He lost Bucky, Sam, Wanda. He lost his family. But in those five years, he found something greater, something that he could not afford to risk.
“Cap?” Tony asks, and Steve looks at him. There is pleading in his eyes but also comprehension, and he knows Tony won’t blame him. Because Tony knows him, and he already knows what his decision is.
Steve hears James’s low whisper asking his mother about the strangers, and he takes a second to capture that moment and the sensations that run through him. The innocence in his son’s features, Natasha’s calm face but at the same time the tension in her body showing the same conflict he felt, while caressing the head of the little boy wrapped around her legs.
She looks at him, and that’s enough to make him see reason.
It doesn’t matter that he sees Tony’s pleading eyes or the hope in Scott and Bruce’s eyes. Steve can’t afford to risk the happiness he has built over the years. When James was born, he promised to protect his family, and that protection only harbored one answer.
“I’m sorry, Tony,” he whispers.
Maybe it was selfish. In front of him was the opportunity to fix things, to return the happiness to all those who had theirs taken away because of Thanos. But Steve was no longer the same man. Those five years gave him so much, and it was his priority to safeguard it. Natasha and their son are his priority, all that mattered, and he couldn’t live knowing that any of his actions could drive them away from his side.
He had lost enough already. He would not allow himself to lose more with the naive illusion of believing that they could go back in time and fix everything.
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