i wanted to kill myself with everything in me but i knew i didnât deserve sweet release. I deserve to bleed and cry and feel the heartbreak for as long as it may take for my horrible self to feel what itâs like to feel true pain. I torture myself making sure I donât die, because I am not worthy to be set free of this life. I am a fucking disaster and i deserve everything I give myself and one day I hope everyone can forgive me despite what they have given me which I have truly deserved. I deserve it all. I deserve to suffer and drown in this mess I call a life. I belong on earth. I belong with the filth and the shit and piss that runs on the streets because that is exactly what I am. I deserve everlasting pain.












