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@lcpislczulii
*~Why so blue?~*
~*~* Each new moment just astounds me *~*~
Independent Lapis Lazuli Roleplayer Portrayed by Eric
*~Links~*
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This account features dark undertones (that are sometimes more like overtones) that may or may not be triggering. While triggers are typically tagged, if something is missed the trigger will be mentioned on this page: Possible Triggers
⸻ 𝓻𝓮𝓹𝓵𝔂 𝓯𝓸𝓻 ; @lcpislczulii { ♡ }
Bright lights flashed in front of Rainbow Quartz's eyes as the Gem began to glow, the spectacular reformation making the fusion giddily nervous and starry-eyed. Any fear or doubts that her counterparts may have had vanished within seconds. Now only playful excitement and wonder remained as Rose and Pearl's arguments disappeared into the back of Rainbow's mind. This moment took precedence above all else now.
Brilliantly blue and beautiful, the Gem collapsed in front of her, wobbling to life like a new born fawn. She was scared, a feeling Rainbow knew quite well. In an attempt to seem less oppressive and threatening the tall fusion rested upon her knees with her feet tucked underneath, her transparent shirtdress settling across her lap. Impulsive movement could frighten the stranger further, so Rainbow Quartz did her best to remain completely still. This Gem had been imprisoned for centuries, cracked, and forgotten. She flapped pathetically like a bird with a broken wing freed from a cage.
❝ We have released you from the mirror. . . ❞ She said calmly. ❝ Please— don't move, you're hurt. . . ❞
Lapis was beyond terrified. Her first thought once she realised that she couldn’t free herself by even running, much less flying, was that she was going to be shattered. Being cracked was one thing but having been already repurposed once? This had to be her end.
Even as those fears spiralled through her thoughts, the water gem couldn’t help but turn to fully view the one who had given her this false sense of hope.
The gem her mirror-like eyes laid on was nothing like whom she’d expected to see. This gem was… Lapis’ eyes traced from her saviour’s navel up to her face — her face which dawned four eyes and… another gem?
Lapis could feel another cascade of emotion wash over her that included fear, confusion, and only a small glimmer of hope.
“W-why would you free me?” Lapis asked, her voice shaking as she held one hand near her chest, the other gripping her skirt tightly. Outside of being shaken by the insurmountable amount of time that has passed, she was now trying to piece together what she could see around her. This didn’t seem like Homeworld — but she knew that that was an unlikely hope. She could only assume she was on Earth, then.
The gem she was look at was clearly a fusion; a fusion made up on two different types of gems. That was something Lapis knew to be wrong, only feeding her assumption that she was on Earth. She continued trying to piece together information but she still couldn’t figure out key details. As she stood there, her list of questions only added up — though Lapis couldn’t find her voice to immediately ask any of them.
⸻ 𝓯𝓸𝓻 ; @lcpislczulii
Focus had been poor as of late. . . Rainbow Quartz was experiencing higher amounts of stress, her counterparts becoming increasingly distracted during moments that required utmost attention— to the point of nearly unfusing. . . It was a clear indication that something was wrong between Rose and Pearl. Garnet, being futuristically inclined and an astute observer, was very much aware of their current issue, and left to handle a solo mission in order to give them time alone. Painted nails drummed along a silken sleeve. Gentle footsteps could be heard through the empty Temple as the fusion paced back and forth, a conversation echoing deep in her mind. Contemplating quietly about her current predicament, she tried to understand the thoughts and feelings her counterparts were experiencing.
❛ This is ridiculous. . . ! We can't focus like this. . . ! ❜ ❛ What's wrong, Pearl. . . ? What can I do to help. . . ? ❜ ❛ It's just too much. . . There's this overwhelming pressure. . . ❜ ❛ Perhaps we should clear our heads. . . ? ❜ ❛ Clear our heads. . . Oh, you're brilliant Rose ! Let's clean out our gems ! That will surely free up extra space for processing. ❜
Piles of miscellaneous objects lay scattered in a semi-organized mess. It would be impressive if it wasn't so detrimental. All of these items had taken up so much memory that it was causing the fusion to suffer. After a few hours of sorting, the last few random artifacts tucked away in Pearl's gem were revealed. One stood out among the others— A particularly ornate mirror with a cracked Gem on the back. . .
❛ When did this get in here. . . ? ❜ ❛ There's a Gem imbedded in this. . . ! We have to release it. . . ! ❜ ❛ This is a Homeworld Gem you're talking about, Rose. . . ❜ ❛ Does that really matter right now ? She's cracked. . . We should help her. . . ! ❜
Without wasting time on another internal argument, Rainbow Quartz immediately held the mirror firmly in her hand, gripping her fingers around the Gem, and with a shaking strength tore it from the mirror.
Things had been nothingness for so long.
While Lapis was still a conscious being, it felt like she would never know freedom like that again. She had spent so long lost in her own thoughts and unable to do anything about it that it felt like that was forever her reality. It had to be, right? First, she’d been left to stare at the sky for who knows how long. That existence was torture all in its own right, but what came next was what had left Lapis in such a poorly psychological state.
Lapis thought that being found by someone would have been her reprieve. How mistaken she had been.
Being found was a relief that Lapis accepted too quickly — which made being stored away like an object and condemned to centuries of sensory deprivation feel like being cracked all over again. She couldn’t believe that someone had found her left behind by the galaxy warp and did her the disservice of just putting her away as if she wasn’t a sentient being.
The time that she had gone through this made the shock of suddenly being assaulted with senses feel disorienting. Beyond just being gifted any opportunity to see and hear again, she was gifted the sensation of pain. It was a blinding pain that she would have screamed out if it were possible. Before she could even consider the possibilities of what was happening, she was…
Reforming?
Lapis collapsed on the ground the moment her body finished forming. The pain she had experienced was beginning to subside but her confusion and disorientation were front-facing. Before considering a word to say, her initial reaction was an attempt to fly away.
“W-what did you do?” Lapis spoke, the first words she’d said in so long.
While Lapis knew she was cracked, she didn’t know what that meant for a physical form before this point. Was her inability to fly because she was cracked or was it because of whatever just happened?
Lapis’ panic was clear as she struggled to get to her feet, reflective eyes wide from the shock and fear of this very abrupt change to her situation.
ooc;;
I need more day to day RPers I can casually make up threads with on discord. Like just spontaneous ideas on discord with 3-4 threads going that may or may not be shorter and more casual. That sounds fun. I miss doing that with a couple close friends back in the day… it’s been rough since then.
ooc;;
So things were fun but now I am back on the grind. I am so panicked about the bills I have to face and idk how to fix it. I know asking for money won’t work bc i have seen it fail. I’m just… ugh still having a bunch of issue from the hail storm, you know.
ooc;;
You guys, I had the absolute most amazing day today. I got to meet Deedee Magno Hall (Pearl’s VA), Michaela Dietz (Amethyst’s VA), and Estelle (Garnet’s VA) and they are some of the most darling people I’ve ever had the chance to interact with. Outside of simple curtesy, they didn’t treat meeting fans like a job. Every conversation was unique and special in its own way and it was so overwhelmingly awesome, I’m not sure it’s all sank in yet.
Deedee even played my girlfriend’s ukulele and we sang in a little group together! It was so insanely cool to experience. I’m still speechless at the thought.
Anyway, here are some pics I got. Ignore my face, but look at these lovely ladies!
Also a fun little thing: Michaela called me weird for wanting to take a pic of her at her booth, and then gave me a signed headshot for free even after still awkwardly posing for my picture lol
I thought I’d add more.
Estelle told me to never fear doing things that I worry might embarrass me. She told me that we only have this moment once, so I shouldn’t let embarrassment hold me back. Estelle said it, so I guess it’s gotta be true.
Deedee gave me a hug when I first started talking to her because I was shaking and about to cry.
Michaela recognised my cosplay right away and got really excited and then took pictures of me and my girlfriend (who was cosplaying as Pearl).
This is all the signed stuff I got! I was really hyped when I saw the photo that Jennifer Paz signed (obviously lol I love Lapis so this was awesome) so I had to get that too — also the cosplays are literally Jennifer and Deedee! It’s so cool!
ooc;;
You guys, I had the absolute most amazing day today. I got to meet Deedee Magno Hall (Pearl’s VA), Michaela Dietz (Amethyst’s VA), and Estelle (Garnet’s VA) and they are some of the most darling people I’ve ever had the chance to interact with. Outside of simple curtesy, they didn’t treat meeting fans like a job. Every conversation was unique and special in its own way and it was so overwhelmingly awesome, I’m not sure it’s all sank in yet.
Deedee even played my girlfriend’s ukulele and we sang in a little group together! It was so insanely cool to experience. I’m still speechless at the thought.
Anyway, here are some pics I got. Ignore my face, but look at these lovely ladies!
Also a fun little thing: Michaela called me weird for wanting to take a pic of her at her booth, and then gave me a signed headshot for free even after still awkwardly posing for my picture lol
ooc;;
Hi, sorry for late replies again. I’m overwhelmed by good news this time!
I’m meeting Deedee Magno Hall, Michaela Dietz, and Estelle this weekend!!! I’m so hyped but also terrified. How does one speak to bird mom 🥺
First Impressions | @lcpislczulii
Continued
Steven Squared was debating on rather he should venture through the unfamiliar forest to get to the barn they knew was some distance ahead of them, or just stay right here to enjoy the brief calm before any emotional storm that would arise from seeing her again. On one hand, Steven was waiting for them and the fusion would hate to make him needlessly worry, on the other hand the fusion hallucinations were not the best and just how they had mixed feelings on Lapis could cause that to happen at any moment. "Just keep it together, Steven... he just wants everyone to be happy... we have to do this for him." He took a deep calming breath. "We're here together... I can do this."
Classic Steven listened to Lapis explain the noise and looked over in the direction of the noise, his first thought that it might have been Gem Steven since he typically liked to travel in leaps and slowly floating down, while Human Steven simply took leisurely strolls unless he had to run. He was ripped from his thoughts on the source of the noise to the sound of Lapis' distress. She sounded hesitant. He took a moment to think. One part of him wanted to check and see if it was his brothers since he was almost sure it had to be them, but on the other hand, he didn't want Lapis to be upset if he agreed to her offer since she didn't sound so enthusiastic about it. He thought to text his brothers again, but he also didn't want to make it seem like he was getting impatient because he already know that Gem Steven wasn't all that willing do this thing in the first place and he didn't wanna be pushy about it.
Steven Squared got up, "Alright... let's do this." He paused to fix his hair and paused, "Oh, almost forgot the most important thing before we go to meet up with her." He summoned a pair of obnoxiously green shutter shades from his gem and put them over his eyes. "Alright, now I think we're ready to go." He smiled as they started heading in the direction of the barn.
Classic Steven nodded, "Yea, we should. That's the same direction as the warp pad, and I'm sure that it had to have been them that fell over, I need to make sure they didn't get hurt to bad." He replied.
two-sides-halved:
Gem Steven started humming to bring some sort of calm to his frazzled mind, doing anything in his power to try and stop thinking about how he felt solely responsible for everything that's happened. The butterflies fluttering in around Gem Steven's head some landing on his shoulders. His humming becoming erratic as he was trying to focus on anything other than the horrible memories plaguing his half of the mindscape.
Human Steven turned toward his brother's uneasy humming. He shooed the butterflies by his head, thought the ones on his shoulders didn't seem phased by his waving hand. That was worrying. He snapped his fingers in front of Gem's face. "Steven... still you with me buddy?" "Ah!! Uh... oh yea. I'm here for you... we're here for each other..." He nodded his head.
Steven Squared's eyes were closed, his right hand rubbing over his left arm while his brows seemed to tense, while he seemed to be mumbling inaudibly to himself, before he opened his eyes, and cleared his throat. "Th-thanks, Lapis." He nodded, "Yea, Peridot's pretty resourceful... especially when she broke open the smaller tv for scrap parts for the drill... haha."
Steven Squared shifted his sitting position on the ground. His legs crossed in a different position, while his left hand was still tapping the ground the rhythm no longer present. "Right, it's our turn to ask a question, haha." Steven Squared looking at his left hand that was tapping erratically on the ground, then looking at his right hand, it seemed shakier than this morning.
"Ok... mmm... is there anything that was on your mind you wanted to vent about but couldn't bring up since the little one was here? Like any questions or concerns... now seems like a good time to just de-compress and just let it all out, ya know??"
Lapis nodded in reply to Steven Squared mentioning Peridot breaking their TV. It sounded exactly like her to feel like the resources inside of something were more important than the thing itself — maybe Lapis was still just a little bitter about needing to share a space with the kindergartener, though. Either way, the smaller gem was doing more on Earth than Lapis was achieving so who was she to judge?
The azure gem could feel how tense the air was and it only fed into how uncomfortable she was with all of this from the get go. Without Steven there to mediate, Lapis worried how things would play out. She knew she couldn’t just stay quiet until the boy returned; that would only cause more conflict. So she ran her fingertips across her skirt as she tried to answer whatever the fusion was going to ask her.
When asked specifically about something that she might want to bring up to vent or decompress, Lapis looked at the ground intently. “Uh, I’m not sure.” She replied softly. She wanted to ask him why it seemed like they got off on a bad foot, but that felt like a loaded question that had an answer she didn’t want to hear. So what could she say?
“It doesn’t matter anyway. What about you?” Lapis settled on deflection, feeling like that was maybe the more diplomatic approach.
"..." Steven Squared looked at one hand, muttering, "Well there's about maybe a good long list of stuff that have been on our minds for years...." He looked at his other hand, "... but I don't know where to start or that I could even trust you with that sensitive information..."
Steven Squared huffed, "... There's gotta be something we can talk about... Steven's counting on this whole redo impression meeting thing to go well... and so far it seems like we're trying barbeque with no grill."
“We can agree on that.” Lapis replied as she thought about a topic. She felt uneasy, especially knowing that this was a redo, implying the first time went badly — even if she didn’t remember a first time. Maybe he had simply heard rumours or had been misled by someone? Lapis couldn’t ask about it even if she wanted to, feeling like it would only somehow become worse.
Lapis let out a sound of thought before speaking quietly, “Well… what do you do for fun? Steven’s always talking about human entertainment and how everyone has something they like to do.” She didn’t know if that was the greatest question she could have mustered, but it felt like it could be waters easier to tread.
Steven Squared paused, "Well, we like to play video games... they can range from playing on console games and playing on my laptop... sometimes I like to read, other times I train." His tone shifted back and forth with each thing he listed. "Sometimes I like drawing but uhh, my stuff isn't really suitable for.... anyone to see really." He let out a weak chuckle.
"So... what do you like to do for fun?" Steven Squared wondering if Lapis did other things besides lounge on the silo or watch CPH.
"Steven mentioned you made art... we think the term he mentioned the term meepmorps?" Steven Squared tilted his head.
Lapis would have been totally lost if not for Peridot's affinity to play video games as well. While Lapis was unsure of what a laptop was, she still nodded along. It was probably better to just pretend that she did know what it was than it would be to ask.
When he mentioned liking to read, that caught Lapis's attention. She loved reading -- usually her favourite material was trashy Earth romances, books that fell into similar veins as Camp Pining Hearts did. The more he listed, the more it sounded like there were actually things they both liked doing, which was refreshing to her for the extremely stale air around them.
Before she could formulate a reply to Steven Squared's question, he brought up her art. The azure gem couldn't help as she nodded a little, almost feeling comforted that he was already aware of meepmorp to some degree. "Ah, yeah. It's like music but with stuff, if that makes sense? I guess that is just art when you think about it." Lapis was trying to beat down the fact that she was nervous actually opening up when things started off so rough. "Me and Peridot both make morps… Lately I've been figuring out how to make stuff with water soluble things like paint. I've even been figuring out how to do stuff with clay. It's pretty cool."
"Yea, music is another form of art and technically all forms of art need some sort of thing to help you make the art." Steven Squared replied, "I'm not a big fan of watercolor paints since they are a bit hard for me to control, I'm more of a fan of acrylics myself, but I hardly like painting all that much to be honest... I prefer a good pencil and sketchbook, though I am more of a fan of digital art since it's a lot easier to erase your mistakes."
Steven Squared looked off a bit, "Are you willing to show me some of the stuff you've made?" Steven Squared asked, sweating a bit, he was still uncomfortable with all of this, and now he was even more worried on how long the little one was taking, what if there was a mission that he had to go on by himself due to the fact that he was the most convenient Steven to get.... like he knew that the little one was getting better at using his gem powers, but that didn't lessen any of their combined worries.
Lapis listened to Steven Squared as he spoke about the different types of painting and art, nodding along to show that she was listening. “I started with doing… I guess they would be sculptures? We started off making morps just out of the stuff in the barn.” She commented, “But it shifted into more painting and sketching after I started reading comics.” If she were being honest, Peridot had been the one that suggested Lapis try painting since she could manipulate water.
When asked if she would be willing to show the other what she’s made, Lapis looked back at the barn and then at Steven Squared. She noticed him staring off but chose not to address it, worried it would add to the already stuffy air between them. “Yeah, sure.” She decided to say, nodding a little.
ooc;;
Okay I’m gonna reply tomorrow or the next day. That’s my goal for this blog and my white pearl (@silcnced). I was going to try and reply tonight but my health is acting up and I have been icky feeling all night.
In other news I have so many inactive followers, it’s kinda insane tbh. I only follow like 60 blogs but I have 1000+ followers. I can promise you that at least 900 are inactive. It’s wild. Anyway, I’m signing off.
Like I said, I’m thinking of replies to people. I’ll get them down on notes soon, I promise.
ooc;;
Heyya friends. I finally have a stable car to use and am starting to feel a bit better, so I’ll try to get around to replying soon 🙌 this includes my au white pearl blog too @silcnced
ooc;;
Hey sorry for being a bit selective and only replying to threads I have muse for. I still don’t have a new car and finances are basically screwed so I’m having issues talking to just about everyone.
Closed RP with blackstarsiopside
@blackstardiopside
Lapis was so nervous.
The moment things were getting genuine and serious, she had left. It wasn’t just her relationship with the Diopside that caused her to flee, but the fear of commitment had definitely fed into it. Her fear of Homeworld, the truth of Pink Diamond, and the realness of growing close to Black Star had all made her feel the need to escape… And so she did. She flew away without telling a soul where she was going or when she intended on being back; she wasn’t even sure if she was coming back.
But there she was standing on the grassy earth, in a staring match with Black Star’s front door. What was she going to say? How could she explain herself? It had been years since she’d last seen the small Earth gem and she wasn’t sure if she could convey her feelings to the other. How was she supposed to tell Black Star that she’d panicked and ultimately damned herself to do exactly what she’d spent 1000 years doing after she was left by the galaxy warp?
Before she could talk herself out of it, the Homeworld gem light knocked on the door. She held herself tightly with her other arm as she tried to keep herself together and not run again.
"If..?" Pipes up the Diopside, raising a thin brow out of curiosity. Despite Lapis feeling that she was displaying a sense of greed, Black Star didn't share those feelings. When she finished, Black Star softly furrowed her brows and quietly hummed, considering what to respond with.
The final question Lapis asked tugged at Black Star. She had missed the water Gem for so long, of course Lapis would be welcome back in her life again! It had been years, she missed her so so much! Dark eyes were weepy as Black Star begun to blubber.
"Of course you can, you-you have so much to catch up on!" The watery-eyed Diopside clings a little tighter to Lapis. "Like.. th-the fact I have my-my own warp pad here! Now I-I don't have ta-ta walk to town anymore."
Lapis only realised that Black Star had started tearing up when she refocused her eyes on the smaller gem after her statement. She was about to start word-vomiting about how she was sorry that she used her words the way she had. Her own guilt for being so selfish after leaving Black Star made her feel self-conscious. Hearing Black Star speak in that shaky tone knocked her out of her head for just a moment.
Being told that she could absolutely be a part of her girlfriend’s life yet again felt like a weight off of her chest. Was it okay to call Black Star her girlfriend again? Lapis tried really hard to fight the urge to ask the monochromatic gem in her lap such a thing.
Feeling a bit of relief through her anxiety, Lapis held Black Star a little tighter as well. “I’m glad.” She said, not being clear on what she was responding to exactly. It was all of it. “I could never imagine walking all the way to town. Couldn’t be me.”
A second went by before Lapis spoke again. “Thank you, Bstar. I’m really looking forward to hearing all about these last couple years.”
Lapis gripped her hands but didn't immediately reply. Would it have been better to end up like any one of those Crystal Gems that were shattered and forced into experimentation where they clearly ahd some idea what was happening to them? Or to be corrupted to the point that she would never be able to form correctly again?
Instead of replying with a straight answer, LApis simply replied, "Anything would have been better than that mirror."
Citrine wasn't satisfied with Lapis' answer. To her, she had done Lapis a favor by avoiding her a terrible fate like corruption. Still, there was a part of curiosity amidst the annoyance she felt.
"What was it like being trapped in the mirror?"
Lapis was sure she made a face at being asked such a thing. Even just thinking back to all of those years, she could feel the sinking crushing feeling inside of her again. It made her feel restless and dizzy, almost ill if she could have been. “That mirror was a prison.” She said in a slight mumble, staring off as she tried figuring out her words.
“Imagine being in a complete void, blackness all around. No one to talk to, no way to get out. Just… stuck there. Forever. And being aware that that is just all you are…”
At least before she had been found by Pearl, she had had the sky to observe. But afterwards? Nothingness.
Closed RP with blackstarsiopside
@blackstardiopside
Lapis was so nervous.
The moment things were getting genuine and serious, she had left. It wasn’t just her relationship with the Diopside that caused her to flee, but the fear of commitment had definitely fed into it. Her fear of Homeworld, the truth of Pink Diamond, and the realness of growing close to Black Star had all made her feel the need to escape… And so she did. She flew away without telling a soul where she was going or when she intended on being back; she wasn’t even sure if she was coming back.
But there she was standing on the grassy earth, in a staring match with Black Star’s front door. What was she going to say? How could she explain herself? It had been years since she’d last seen the small Earth gem and she wasn’t sure if she could convey her feelings to the other. How was she supposed to tell Black Star that she’d panicked and ultimately damned herself to do exactly what she’d spent 1000 years doing after she was left by the galaxy warp?
Before she could talk herself out of it, the Homeworld gem light knocked on the door. She held herself tightly with her other arm as she tried to keep herself together and not run again.
“Yeah, it’s a lot” Black Star voiced her agreement with Lapis. It was why the tiny Gem didn’t take the promotion offered at her human job. She had been working human jobs for many years, and her current job at the Mini Mart not far from Beach City had been her longest job.
She chuckles softly at the compliment. ‘Super Gem’ made her think of comic book characters. Perhaps she could pitch the idea to someone with artistic talent. The only downside was Black Star didn’t know anyone off the top of her head with such abilities. And the more Black Star thought about it, it did feel accurate considering her work load.
“Yeah, I am” muttered the defective Diopside with a tiny smile. Her eyes closed while Lapis was stroking her hair, in a true feeling of relaxation. Black Star wished the two of them could stay on this position forever. It was so comfortable. That, and there were years of affection she had missed out on.
While Lapis had thought the question she asked was selfish, Black Star didn’t feel the same. “Why not?” She inquired, slowly opening her eyes up. Then the runt shifts a little in Lapis’s lap to get more comfortable.
Lapis nodded again when Black Star agreed with her about being a super gem. The fact that Lapis had freaked out and ran away from just a small fraction of the same workload… It really proved to Lapis that Black Star was strong and so capable. Lapis had always thought that Black Star was someone better than herself, but now it was only more obvious.
While trying to push her own self-deprecating thoughts away, Lapis looked down at the other. Upon being asked why she shouldn’t be thanked for asking about Black Star’s life, the blue gem let out a thoughtful hum. Why not? There were plenty of reasons why she felt being thanked for such a normal catching-up question wasn’t okay, but her biggest reason still fell onto her and her selfishness.
“Because… I only asked to get an idea of if…” Lapis let out a small groan, realising that she was really putting her greed on full display. “Of if there was really even time for me to be here with you.” Saying it out loud was both embarrassing and shameful for Lapis. She could have just asked directly and it probably would have sounded better.
After what felt like too long of a pause, even though it was probably only a matter of seconds, Lapis spoke again, “I do really care what’s going on in your life though… I just want to know if I… can be a part of it.” She was staring off at nothing as she spoke, clearly uncomfortable with saying those feelings out loud. “That’s why you shouldn’t be thanking me.”
ooc;;
Honestly despite the thought and consideration regarding my previous post, I may still delete it. I’m feeling insecure about asking for anything. I dunno… ugh.
