today i decided to go out and do some clothes shopping since i hadn’t done it in awhile and i wanted a change. i was walking through the store and picking out some things when a little girl, no more than eight or nine, comes up to me looking shy. she looks me straight in the eye and she said, “one day i’m gonna marry you cause i wanna be the next girl you put on your arm”. i was so baffled that this girl had such a smooth pick up line that i wanted to re-evaluate my entire existence. i couldn’t even come up with a decent response. kids these days have serious game.
“okay i like that. that’s pretty smooth. and adorable. and where the hell was her dad while this was happening. who let’s their eight year old run loose and chat up older guys? even if it is ‘zayn malik’. actually that’s probably all the more reason for them to stop her. when i was eight my pick up line was ‘wanna share my crayons?’ not so smooth.”



















