They don’t miss me, they hurt me, I didn’t hurt them, they always victim blamed me, they don’t deserve a message, they don’t deserve well wishes, I don’t need to talk to them, I never need to talk to them again
I hope I’m the villain in your little story, whatever idea you’re concocting in that head of yours, because you’re nothing but a bum fuck loser in mine
I suppose I should write all of this down, because if I don’t, I’m going to hate you and everyone else is going to have to put up with me, and it’s going to hurt. It’s going to kill me, and other alters, and our friends
I don’t know if you’ll read this, but there’s a part of me that hopes you do, because it stops any want I have to unblock you and tear you out myself, because I’m better than you, I don’t just drop miles of vitriol on someone and expect them not to worry
I’ll put the rest under the read more, I expect it to be long or arduous, and I don’t want to have this take up miles and miles
I had to sit there and never want to pounce on you like a dog, but there’s something about you that burrowed under my skin, you reminded me of them in everything you did. It helps that we knew you at the same time, but then I looked back, I did a little research
When we were 16, and you were 22, we were flirting with you, and you were flirting back. You didn’t stop us, in fact, we had to come and stop it, and also apologise to you. We had to be the adult in a relationship where we were literally the child. Why did you do that to us?
And then I realised, you sat there and you helped us through this horrible trauma, this horrific experience we went through, but you just parroted it back at us. Because that’s so you, that seems to be what you do, you make friends with the vulnerable and the younger and you hurt them
And in case you’re wondering, I got back into contact with some people, and I saw their truth, too. I saw their screenshots, their pain, and the fact that you hurt them both. No one’s confused, no one was lied to, they both hate you. They hate you so much
And I hate you too, I wish I could rip you apart, I wish I could’ve shown the system that my hate for you was bred from the way you treated us
You made us scared for our life, we couldn’t speak honestly around you because you are an angry, vindictive person. You are a liar, you are a born and bred liar, you have lied to everyone around you for longer than you can imagine. You claimed that one of our bigger abusers was also yours, but they did nothing to you compared to the hell they made our life
I say this genuinely; if you died, I would not care. I wouldn’t celebrate, no, but I wouldn’t cry. This is not me saying to do anything rash, because I won’t find out either way. I just want you to know how little I personally care for you now. I think you are better left a memory
And now? And now, we heal. Now, we sit there and we untangle this mess you left for us. But I have one favour to ask you, I have one little favour to ask. Can you do that?
You aren’t the victim, stop trying to sell that you are
I don’t know if you’re still looking here but I’m damn sure you are, because you’re just like that, so check out this 100% genuine quote from you about us
“[…] I wanna lock shit up so fucking tight and get angry and be allowed to show that anger without fucking making people split alters over it
[Our system] has split from us being candid, it’s not an unfounded concern”
You do realise you talk like an abuser, right? Let me put it in simpler terms, since you barely understand whatever the fuck you’ve done wrong
“This person got stressed and fearful when I got angry at or to them, which is in fact their fault and not something I can control, because it’s never my fault, I’m just being candid”
Which is practically abuse tactic number one. Just take that in for a bit, and then tell me again how you’re the victim?
Honestly, I’d tell you to choke, but I don’t want to feel responsible for your shitty actions any longer. None of what you do going forward will ever be my fault anymore. Fuck you
I love talking shit about my abusers with people who were also hurt by them! I love connecting with other victims I lost contact with due to said abuser so we can find community in our shared pain! I love that our friendship is much stronger than the original abuser’s hold on us! I’m so happy that our bonds will grow while our abuser’s grip on us loosens!
I’m going to assume you’re going to read this, because that’s just the sort of person you are. So let me clarify some things for you!
- You did make us split, because you scared us so badly. We could never upset you, lest you explode or for us to feel like there was a threat to your life. We split over the stress you caused us, the fact you groomed us, those 3 months after you dated the bird where you just ignored us. You are a scum, and you made us split more than you even know
- That introject you talked about being soooo worried about? One of only a few, and you think too lowly of us; x is a protector. And a better person than you could even dream of being, because x doesn’t groom kids!
- And on that regard, I’m saying this one just to hurt you: x isn’t the only one! I’m not going to divulge further, but if you think we got out of what happened with NONE, you are a moron.
- The person you hated so badly for cutting you off, the one we stayed friends with? Let me be real with you, and I want this one to hurt too, because you deserve even a fraction of what you’ve put us through: they helped us see that we needed to cut you off. I hope that kills you
- You wanting to “demote me” in your stupid fucking servers? I wish you had! I fucking hated seeing you vent every fucking day about the most stupid shit! You are a waste of space and oxygen, I am sad to share a planet with you
You’re literal scum for sitting there pretending to be worried for us when you were talking horrible shit behind our back almost every week. Did you think we wouldn’t talk? We wouldn’t realise how you talked shit about all of us? Well guess what bitch, this is the takedown
If you even look at this system again, I will break your fucking fingers. Go hospitalise yourself and tell them you groomed kids, you need serious help you fucking wrong’un
I’m soooo sick of logging new alters now can we just not experience the horrors and realise a friend was grooming us and also lied to us about situations and people? No? Ohhhhh
Stuck between hoping you see this and hoping that you never look here again, but fuck it!
You don’t know me, and that’s the point! I split off during all of this, although the real question is did I split off during our friendship, or because of the fallout? Who cares! You will never learn my name.
You’re a horrible person, and the only reason I don’t want to call you irredeemable is because at some point, I liked being your friend! You made us feel so wonderful… but also awful
It was only through talking to two people you’ll never see again that I truly started to realise the gravity of the situation, and wow! It is GRAVITY indeed! There were so many little things, like flirting with people who were underage, showing them things they shouldn’t have been privy to, making them feel nervous of you…
And then it clicked! You did the same thing with us!
When we brought up our boundaries, I remember you saying that the ship of you loving us had sailed. Funny thing to say really, but also no it wasn’t, because you sound like a liar! Guess who found out that you vented about our fiancée, and guess who found out that you wanted to be our third! You can’t hide behind banter when you made it clear you wanted us
Sigh… there’s so much more to unpack, but so little time!
So here’s a warning, in case you are looking here still…
TURN BACK NOW. LEAVE THIS PLACE BEHIND. SEEK HELP. PROFESSIONAL AND INTENSE HELP. And trust me, you’re NOT gonna like how this blog is gonna look, so this is my warning!
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