dana-sun:Â
A few months ago. Another beat passed as Dana contemplated this fact. Could she honestly have expected Lea to let her know she was back in town after the way things ended between them? The answer was no- even as much as Dana, deep down, wished she would have known. âNo- you really do.â The words emphasizing what Lea did not seem to think of herself right then came out of her as if she wasnât even in her own body- a ghost of herself saying the things her mind was trying so desperately to stop her from saying. She was vaguely reminded of the nights in, where theyâd be dressed just like this, lounging around together and laughing over stupid movies and⌠She cut her mind off right there. âWell, I hope everything is going well for you,â she forced out, suddenly fighting back tears she hadnât even thought would come. She wanted to turn around and walk back the other way- she glanced the other way to avoid Lea seeing the emotion in her features.
Lea hated this. If only... If only she had stumbled along a different path, found a dealer and got a hit she could have dealt with this carelessly, but being sober in every way, she felt the pain Dana felt by looking at her, reading her expression though she tried to fake it. Tasting bitterness as she swallowed, Lea felt -- no, she knew she owed Dana more than she gave her. âD wait...â She called, her hand extended but not exactly touching the other girl. Her plan stopped there as she hadnât fully thought things through. When she was with Dana, it was one of her âcleanâ phases. She was trying to stay right for Dana, barely even drinking around her when they first started dating, and sure, she was a dream then. But her past caught up with her sooner or later and the drug use started again. She tried to keep it far from Dana, but that only made them distant. The secret she kept was making them grow apart, the nights Lea spent out late getting her fix and coming home near down dazed and without explanation... And then she left. In the back of her mind, she convinced herself that it was for the best. For Dana.  That the other had a bright future and she would only hold her back, get her hooked and ruin her life, but that was just a cop out. But how could she tell all that to Dana? Would it make things better? Would it make her feel better? âIâm sorry. I really am.â was all that she could say in the end.











