Leaping In

I'm Robin, co-founder of Hardboiled Labs.

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How do you tell your Early Adopters from your Early Majority?

The technology adoption lifecycle model theorizes that the adoption of a given product follows a fairly predictable bell curve. Crossing the Chasm, from Geoffrey Moore, talks about the importance of being able to transition specifically from Early Adopters to Early Majority. I was curious about how to know the distinction between the two, so I brought it up during discussion this week in #MVPDesignHacks. How do you tell your Early Adopters from your Early Majority? 

Some key differences:

- Early adopters don't need to be convinced that there is a problem to be solved. They already know it. 

- Early adopters have a higher pain tolerance for prototype-looking interfaces and buggy experiences. 

- Early adopters have a lot of insight (sometimes too much!) for you about features and use cases. It's important to help filter those into feedback you can really take action on. 

On the other side...

- Early majority wants social validation before buying into your idea. 

- Early majority needs convincing that there's a problem to be solved. 

It'll be interesting to see specific examples of one or the other as we conduct our market research. Really excited to continue taking this course. :) 

MVP Design Hacks - Build a Faster, Smarter MVP

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“Dogma and ideology are even worse [than experience]. They provide us with the answers, and put boundaries around our thinking…

From the inside, it simply looks like truth and reality. Watch out for any belief that limits the range of your thinking and exploration. This includes logic and reason. They are useful tools, but just as often work to keep us trapped, inside of exclusionary belief systems. If you belief yourself to be a rational person, then you’re in the trap.”

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I love this post.

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Design of Everyday Things - Look How Far We’ve Come

There’s a chat thread from back in 2012 where a friend first mentioned Design of Everyday Things to me. At some point, I acquired a physical copy of the book, and then promptly forgot about it, leaving it to languish in a stack of “stuff to read someday” and dragging it from apartment to apartment.

It was in a still-unpacked box of books when I dug it out a few weeks ago, after seeing the title come up in multiple UX book recommendation lists. Happily, and frugally, I decided to make it one of the first books I read during this learning phase.

Fun thing I learned in the preface: DoET was originally published in 1988 as Psychology of Everyday Things, which Don Norman quickly discovered was the wrong title.

“Readers interested in design would never think of looking in the psychology section… In titling my book, I had been guilty of the same shortsightedness that leads to all those unusable everyday things! My first choice of title was that of a self-centered designer, choosing the solution that pleased me without considering its impact upon readers.” That’s one user-research practice applied.

The reason this book is a classic is clear - so many of its lessons are just basic logic well dissected and applied. Yet I get the sense from reading the book that back when it was first written, creators didn’t have the kind of practice that we now do for addressing common usability issues. That’s not to say I didn’t appreciate the logic being broken down, but I feel like maybe this book has already proven to be a success, if many of its lessons are now integrated into best practices for product and user experience design. Or I just live in a bubble where I’ve been lucky enough to be exposed to this knowledge already! Between the game industry and user experience design as a whole, it’s possible that the important takeaways have already been disseminated.

That said, of course there were key points and memorable lessons I wanted to note. How about three?

Affordances and Constraints Should Be Clear

The classic example from the book about affordances is the one about opening doors -- when a door only swings open in one direction, each side should indicate whether it is pushed or pulled, as well as where the ‘hinge’ lays. Failure to properly design a door to instruct the user ends up trapping unwitting users, or at the very least causing an embarassing “Do I push? Oh no, I guess I pull” situation. The door to my massage therapists’ office is like this -- and I STILL don’t know which way to push the door in order to get in.

Norman also talks about stages of action in the mental model of how users interact -- what the specific steps are that users take in order to set an intention for what they want to happen, then execute those actions. He also points out the gulf of execution (“Does the system provide actions that correspond to the intentions of the person?”) and the gulf of evaluation (“Does the system provide a physical representation that can be directly perceived and that is directly interpretable in terms of the intentions and expectations of the person”?).

For me, the takeaway is that we should be careful to map actions not to what we know the system is capable of, but rather to what actions the user wants to achieve. I’m reminded of web interfaces for some freelance clients I’ve worked with, which started off very focused on tasks that mapped heavily to engineering feats they’d performed in the backend (image matching algorithms, for example). The initial results were that the user interface was clunky and didn’t do a great job fulfilling user needs, since it was designed with the backend in mind. Subsequent revisions to better address users’ interaction with the tech helped make the interfaces more reasonable and usable.

  Design Actively Explorable Systems

When there are multiple branches of options or some infinite number of possibilities for a user to take in order to interact with a system (a computer, or a game), the options and affordances have to be clear. Norman also made the point to note that actions should be without cost -- “When an action has an undesirable result, it must be readily reversible.” This is where those confirmation dialogs pop up.

I saw a lot of game design fundamentals in this discussion -- we create tutorials and first-run experiences that hand-hold the user through her first interactions with the system and teach them what they need to know about the rules in order to continue on their own. I also know that the less we have to teach, the better the experience (both as a beginning user, who wants to get into the meat of the game, and as a continued user, who wants to have a consistent and cohesive experience).

There was also one line that stuck out to me despite not having much to back it up - “... there exists great potential to make visible what should be visible (and to keep hidden what is irrelevant).” The phrase in the parentheses is what I thought was important -- sometimes information for the sake of information hinders instead of helping. I think about trying not to overwhelm users with information, especially if there’s nothing direct or affordable that they can do to change it.

  Using Mental Power for Good/Effectiveness

There was a section that I read in DoET that reminded me of what Design for Engagement said about information -- make sure you are cognizant of what is being asked of the user and be careful not to overtax their capacity. In this book, it’s discussed as Knowledge in the World vs. Knowledge in the Head.

Knowledge in the World consists of things like normal mapping (turning a knob left to indicate moving left), memory/associations and physical indications of an object’s affordance. This makes me think about what people think when confronted with a new situation that looks similar to another situation they’ve encountered -- my guess is that they’re likely to react the same way, even if they’ve never seen the New Thing. So, designing an object to intentionally resemble something familiar can net benefits if there are desired behaviors you want to inherit, but maybe not so good if there are connotations/actions that aren’t desired. We think a lot about how the Wavo egg shape is good because it’s familiar, organic and is held easily, but what if people take away other ‘egg’ qualities, like fragility? Things to ponder.

Knowledge in the Head can be more efficient since it might come “naturally” to some users. People can easily remember things like explanations of functionality (cause and effect) and relationships between objects, and that knowledge can be used to evaluate a situation without additional World-Knowledge. Here, I think about how easily the Wii Sports games caught on with both younger and older audiences -- the idea of treating this object like a [insert sports paraphernalia] baseball bat, tennis racket, golf club, etc. came easily because those actions were already familiar to even first-time players of the game.

  Design of Everyday Play

I started to think about what the term “everyday things” meant when I first outlined this piece. Some things clearly fall into the “everyday” category -- door knobs, faucets, coffee makers, cars. Other cases mentioned in the book included things that were “everyday” for a subset of the population -- flight controls for an airplane, gauges and sensors for nuclear plants.

Where do games and toys fall though? Part of the joy in play comes from the unexpected, and oftentimes that unexpected result isn’t reached by “forming a mental model of how to get to that state and then executing.” Play is in discovery and experimentation, in testing out a system that is unknown but kind and supportive (so, a lot of encouraging active exploration, but maybe a lot less knowledge in the head/world, a little less clear constraints, at least in the beginning). So maybe there’s a Design of Playful Things book to be written in the future, deconstruction how to design games and playful experiences not as a set of tools or rules, but rather as ways to gently encourage players to explore and nudge them into interesting states.

In short -- enjoyed the chance to finally read a book that’s been sitting in my collection for a while, whose learnings have slowly seeped into design consciousness over time. As an aside, Design of Everyday Things also makes me think about Clifford Nass's The Man Who Lied to His Laptop -- connected but scratching on the surface of how we relate ourselves to the things around us, and how our behaviors towards them reveal fundamentals about humanity. Makes me want to go pick up that book again too.

Photo by alykat

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Navigating Setbacks

It has been a rough couple of weeks. A dear friend suggested writing about it, so here I am.

Due to some stressful conflicts and situations that have come up, I’ve been finding it incredibly challenging to focus on the work that I’ve wanted to do, which in turn ends up increasing my anxiety about not getting that work done. And so the cycle goes. It causes me to want to procrastinate, to numb that anxiety so that I don’t have to deal.

It’s hard not to feel like a lack of demonstrated productivity means lack of actual progress. It’s hard to look at my tasklist, see all of the items I’d planned on getting done, and not kick myself for getting sidetracked (even if what I got sidetracked on was deeply, personally critical to myself and my circle of friends). It’s hard not to see that it’s already more than a week into September, and that I’m almost halfway through this first phase of my Leaping In plan, and still… I don’t know… writing about reasons why I didn’t finish my list instead of recapping Major Progress I’ve Made.

It’s doubly hard to feel like there are so many other things I could be putting my time and efforts towards solving, something less selfish than “I want to start a new toy company because I love designing games and tactile experiences“ (though it’s true), that there are far more problems to tackle than what our product’s interface should look like. Convincing myself that working on projects I’m passionate about *and* aspiring to make a greater difference outside my own life aren’t mutually exclusive is hard mental work. And I’m struggling with it a lot.

There are mornings I want to throw myself into conversations about women’s rights and the diversity issues in the game and technology industries I love. There are mornings I’m trying my best to create workshop curriculum for STEM workshops for high school girls. And there are certainly mornings I brainstorm about all of the compelling interaction design I can do for Hardboiled, and the possibilities for the platform that we haven’t even discovered yet. But then there are other mornings I’m excited about a new freelance project that will expose me to industries and businesses I’ve never encountered before, and that’s compelling too. I don’t know if I can just ‘choose one’ and leave the rest on the backburner. I don’t know if that’s the way I work.

But if there’s one thing I can do, maybe it’s to find a way to acknowledge that I will be torn indefinitely between these desires, and in doing so, stop spending additional energy punishing and berating myself for dedicating time to one endeavor for some period while juggling the others. If they’re *all good things*, and they’re all things I find joy and passion in doing, why not try for acceptance and balance. And flexibility, when one thing or another expands a little beyond what balance was originally budgeted for it. 

I’m a fan of making lists (at least one good holdover from my days at GameDaily), especially in threes, so I’m going to give this one a try. These are what I can focus on to navigate setbacks and tough situations for now:

  Step by Step

When I put aside time to work, honor that time and make the most of it as I can. I can aim for building momentum, but some days, just taking a single step forward is enough. Eventually the steps add up, and I can take a look back and see the bigger picture.

  Acknowledge Growth

I should strive to give myself more credit for the progress that I make that is less tangible than things like blog posts and spreadsheets, which are more easily quantified and measured but not necessarily more valuable as a result.

  Practice Patience

I am an often-flawed judge of how much time is needed to complete a task, perfect a skill, gain control over a situation. Things will take longer than I want them to, than I initially anticipate that they will. Be okay with that.

  Be okay with being uncomfortable for a little bit.

Photo by Martin Fisch

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Setting Up for Success

“They didn’t set you up for success.”

Years ago, I went through an unexpected job loss, and the resulting stress caused an incredible amount of insecurity and dealt a major blow to my self-confidence. I was lucky to have had the ear of a wise mentor and friend, who pointed out that despite some things that were in my control, “the people around me didn't set me up for success.”

Don’t let failure become inevitable.

I thought about that concept a lot after the conversation, the notion of “being set up for success.” It hadn’t occurred to me that the deck may have been stacked against me to begin with and made it difficult (or potentially impossible) for me to succeed given the circumstances. What I ended up taking away from that crisis was not to eschew responsibility, but rather to actively analyze situations and challenges I’m facing, prevent potential issues from arising ahead of time, and make sure that failure does not become inevitable.

  “If you fail at this, what’s the one thing that you know will have caused it?”

Months ago, this concept resurfaced in a productivity workshop I was taking at the Bay Area Video Coalition. One activity was aimed at making it as difficult as possible to fail at goals by forcing us to admit what we already knew would cause them to fail.

Make certain success.

Often it boiled down to something pretty simple: “I will fail at organizing my closet because I don’t know where to donate my unwanted clothes” or “I will fail at getting my finances in order because I have no clue where my 401k information is” or “I will fail at learning design because I am going to get frustrated with Illustrator and give up” (it’s possible all three of these examples are from my personal life).

It’s so intuitive after the fact -- “What is going to make this fail? Okay, let’s eliminate that possibility”, but we’re not used to thinking about challenges that way. We’re used to assuming they’ll succeed and then being sort of (not really) surprised if they don’t.

Knowing this, we were asked to set aside just 15 minutes to addressing that weak link and reduce its potential to derail our success.

Just 15 minutes to get set up for success.

The next morning, I spent 15 minutes digging through my “important papers for someday” pile and found what I needed to tackle my 401k. Called customer support and got everything squared away. The resulting confidence boost I felt from that small (but sometimes overwhelming and intimidating) task helped me get my other financial accounts in line. Happily, I still feel like I have a good grasp on them.

Habit-Proof My Goals

This all actually ties in quite nicely with the Tiny Habits cognitive behavior frameworks that I mentioned in an earlier post. Set yourself up for success by making it hard or impossible to fail. “Failure is not an option” gets uttered in action movies like an ultimatum, but here, you can actually get it pretty close to truth if you plan ahead.

I know where my fail-points are going to be for Leaping In. It's going to happen in the small tasks - dragging my feet on filing the LLC, hesitating on creating a business bank account under the guise of "I want to do more research", putting off easy one-off to-dos because once they're out of the way, the harder, scarier problems will rear their heads (and then I'll have to own up to the fact that I'm an impostor). I know this about myself and how I've reacted in the past to these worries.

My takeaway: if my personal status quo is going to lead to failure, then I need to habit-proof my process so that the behaviors I default to when I’m insecure, unsure or frustrated can’t stop me from moving forward. Make this process resistant to failure, so that despite the best efforts of my demons, I'll have no option but to succeed.

So the question is -- what is the set up I need to prepare in order to make this project fail-proof? What can I do tomorrow in 15 minutes that will help guard against those known pitfalls?

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Three Takeaways from Susan Weinschenk's 'Design for Engagement' Udemy Course

I've picked up a good deal of user experience basics from my years as a game designer/producer, but I know that I'm in need of a refresher. "Design For Engagement" is the first course I've purchased from Udemy, which seems to specialize in mostly video-based courses without a big project focus (in contrast to say, Skillshare, which I've found to be more project-based). Susan Weinschenk, author of How to Get People to Do Stuff (another item in my curriculum), leads the course and I appreciated her clear voice and structured approach to the concepts. And there were a LOT of concepts covered. 

The majority of the course did end up being a rehash or best practices and rules of thumb I've encountered from previous exposure to UX, but these three takeaways stood out as memorable and important to take notes about:

1. Consider the Human Factor Load of interactions

This one seems intuitive after being exposed to it, but was not something I'd heard of before. The concept is that everything presented to the user (text, images, actions, buttons, options) requires energy to process, and the more energy designers require, the less likely (and happy) the user will be (so, potentially resulting in drop-off or frustration, depending on the use case).

'Loads' can largely be divided up into three types: motor (physical), visual (identification, images), and mental/cognitive. While most user experiences require all three, good ones will keep them balanced. Most well-designed software takes advantage of the 'ease' of motor load (clicking, scrolling, tapping) to decrease other loads (visual: parsing lots of imagery or graphical information, mental: having to read or process a lot of information) in order to create a less demanding user interaction. 

In games, as Susan points out, designers actually want to increase the load slightly to provide a challenge - which makes sense! Action games are challenging when they require motor dexterity, puzzle games are so when they require mental/visual dexterity. Not enough challenge means 'no fun' when it comes to games.

But challenge when you're trying to write a word doc is bad. I also suspect that most first-run and tutorial experiences in games and game-like experiences are light on the human factor load, since they should encourage players to understand how to play first, instead of presenting a difficult challenge right off the bat. 

2. Stories are important, and help people empathize and connect

We were lucky enough at my last company to have a former Pixar storyteller come by and teach us about the structured story and its usefulness outside of traditional storytelling -- "Once upon a time... and every day... until one day... and because of that... and because of that... and because of that.. until finally... and since that day..." 

It got us thinking about how stories are implicitly told about companies, products, people, etc and not just in children's movies. The point Susan makes about stories (and perhaps, why they're ubiquitous) is that they communicate ideas much more effectively than simply presenting information. 

Stories are powerful because our brains are really great at empathy, and listening to someone else's story often triggers similar emotions in our own brains, even though we know consciously that it's not ours. So, the idea is to use stories to prime users into feeling more connected (as long as they have a good way of identifying with the character's perspective), as well as convey important information. 

This gets me thinking about a ton of things -- how to present the story of Hardboiled Labs, how we'll present the story of our product when we launch a crowdfunding campaign, and also the stories that we help tell within the player experience of our toy. :) 

3. Anchor goals to existing habits

I've come across Tiny Habits before, when BJ Fogg spoke at GDC one year. I signed up for his email-based program a while ago, and managed to create a handful of small habits for myself for a short period of time. Tiny Habits, if I recall, works like this: 

Set a goal (like, write a novel)

Break down that goal into a smaller one (write a chapter a week)

Then break down that goal even further (write 500 words a day)

And then, instead of doing that thing, you do this instead:

Figure out what is the most minimal action that will force you to inevitably accomplish that last goal (write one sentence). It's likely that getting over this 'hump' will cascade into accomplishing the larger goal, but it's important to reward yourself for just doing the bare minimum anyways. 

Attach this tiny trigger (write one sentence) to a habit that you already have (brush my teeth at night). That way, you'll have a set time/place that the trigger occurs, and will have a better chance of accomplishing the actual goal. Eliminate the possibility that you can decide to do otherwise. 

Susan mentions Tiny Habits to suggest that there's a way for designers to force creation of a habit with apps/sites by making it a literal no-brainer to engage. So potentially, figure out the right time that users use your product, and make it make complete sense to use it then. Encourage it, reinforce it. I think about how the Yahoo News Digest app does this brilliantly -- it shows me top headlines ONLY twice a day, 8am and 6pm, timed before work and after work. It fits perfectly with when I'd ideally want to consume news. 

With designing a game/toy, I think I want to consider how it fits into the daily lives of the kids and parents that are engaging in it. We thought about this a lot at Sifteo too -- is this a game they play every month? Once a week? Once a day? When in the day? After school? Right before bed? And how do we build things in the game to support/encourage those behaviors? 

Summary

Overall, I think this course was a good, but fairly passive refresher on user experience practices. I don't think I would've paid full price for this course on its own given that it covered a lot of topics I know how to research elsewhere. Appreciated being able to consume this content while eating breakfast or lunch though (which is what I often did). Sometimes the ease of use outweighs everything else. :) 

Link: Udemy: Design for Engagement ($229)*

*I found a deal specifically for this course for $19 via Joystiq Deals back in May, and Udemy seems to run sales fairly often (there are a handful others I grabbed for $19 after this one).

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The Leap In Curriculum

This is a living post! My goal is to continually add to and update this list with takeaways and thoughts on whether each resource was useful. And as always, looking for more additions to consider!

Okay, manifestos are easy (sort of). Actually making the plan is hard(er).

Part of the plan involves curating my own curriculum to level up product management, business and UX skills so that I have a stronger foundation for when things like strategy and product design come into play.

Traditionally, I would've gotten this knowledge from on-the-job experience, but since we're shaking things up, I'm going to rely more on blogs, online courses and readily available books. As it happens, a lot of the books are ones I've purchased or wishlisted but never actually read/finished, so I'm excited about a chance to do so. 

Do you have any favorites that I should add to this list? Or ones to nix completely? I'd love to build a comprehensive resource.

Business/Startup Fundamentals

Books

The Personal MBA (Josh Kaufman) - I started reading this years ago, but I'm sure there are lessons that will be much more valuable now that I have context. 

Rework (Jason Fried, David Heinemeier Hansson) - Owned this book for years, but haven't finished it (at least to my memory). 

The $100 Startup (Chris Guillebeau) - Have definitely consumed this book as a "beach read" once, and but again, will likely be more valuable in context. 

The E Myth (MIchael Gerber) - Recommended to me but with a caveat that it is outdated for today's startups.

Founders at Work (Jessica Livingston)

Designer Founders (Evan Sharp, Rashmi Sinha, Yves Behar, Christina Brodbest, Scott Belsky, Matia Corea)

Start Your Own Business (Entrepreneur Media)

Courses

Udemy: The $400k Crowdfunding Launch Formula - I've taken one Udemy course before (actually listed down below in UX Design), and figured that for the sale price of $20 or so, it's a pretty good value. I'm interested in what learnings this course has versus what I've heard anecdotally from friends who've run campaigns. 

Skillshare: Turn Ideas into High Growth Businesses - Skillshare, also like Udemy but a little more hands-on. I'm interested in more general takeaways here, not necessarily looking for life-changing advice.

Skillshare: Minimum Viable Product - Same! I feel like I have a good grasp of the concept of MVPs, but it might be worth getting some formal bulletpoints about how to correctly scope one. 

Product Management

Books

The Innovator's Dilemma (Clayton M. Christensen)

Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard (Chip Heath, Dan Heath) - Another book I've owned but haven't properly digested.

Start With Why (Simon Sinek)

Inspired: How To Create Products Customers Love (Marty Cagan)

Cracking the PM Interview (Gayle Laakmann McDowell, Jackie Bavaro) - Title originally turned me off, since I'm not exactly interviewing for a job, but it seems like it'll have useful information on what's expected of run of the mill PMs. 

The Design of Everyday Things (Don Norman) - The bible of product design, and another book I've had for years without touching it. I've started reading the first few chapters, and it's already changing the way I see things in the world (basically, every object as either "someone thought about this design" or "no one cared to test this design").

Enchantment (Guy Kawasaki)

Courses

Udemy: How to Get a Job in Product Management - Still debating whether or not to take this - I imagine the Cracking the PM Interview book will be more helpful. I think I'll make this decision after finishing the book.

User Experience Design

Books

Don't Make Me Think (Steve Krug) - I've read this recently, and it mostly has to do with web interfaces. It would probably be helpful for me to consider it part of the curriculum and write up a takeaway though.

User Onboarding (Samuel Hulick) - I love getting Samuel's emails with new teardowns of first run experiences. They're super insightful and well written. I'm looking forward to diving into his book.

Fascinate: Your 7 Triggers to Persuasion and Captivation (Sally Hogshead) - I've read this one! But again, it'll be helpful to review and take notes.

Designing Multi-Device Experiences (Michal Levin) - Got this for free from O'Reilly SolidCon, specifically because I think we're going to come across these issues with our Tablet And experience. 

How to Get People to Do Stuff (Susan Weinschenk) - Coincidentally, I came across this book after I'd already taken Susan's Udemy course (below). I think I do better with printed content versus online, so I think I might invest in this book after revisiting her course and doing a writeup.

The Paradox of Choice (Barry Schwartz)

Courses

Udemy: Design for Engagement - Took this course recently when it was priced at around $20. It covered a lot of seemingly "obvious" material, but was still really useful to learn. I think my next step here is to do a writeup/review of it. 

Personal Growth

Books

On Becoming Fearless (Arianna Huffington) - I love this book. It made me cry the first time I read it, and I think about some of the lessons from it all the time. It's been a while since I last went through it fully, so I think it'll be a great boost to my confidence as everything shakes out now.

Good Self, Bad Self (Judy Smith) - I picked up this book because it was written by the woman who is the inspiration behind Kerry Washington's character, Olivia Pope, in the Scandal TV show. The reviews on it seemed mixed, but, I'm willing to give it a try!

Difficult Conversations (Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen) - Started reading this in the context of being a producer (how to manage people, set expectations), but it's proving valuable even in its early chapters for other contexts as well. 

Crucial Conversations () - Recommended by a producer friend, anticipating some crossover with the other Conversations book. :) 

Startup Life (Brad Feld, Amy Batchelor)

Courses

Skillshare: Get Stuff Done Like a Boss

Photo by katalicia1

[leapingin-blog]

Practice this in the mirror.

New Acquaintance: What do you do?

Me: I'm the cofounder of a connected toy startup.

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No one knows what they're doing.

This was comforting to read. :) 

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I have no idea what I'm doing...

...but that's the whole point of leaping. 

One part longing...

I was a game producer at Sifteo last year when our team was downsized. Perils of joining an ambitious startup, as many of us know. Truthfully, I was disappointed, but really anxious to continue working on the type of magic that I was lucky enough to witness there -- fascinating, envelope-pushing interactive design, as well as a supportive team that allowed me to grow even as I produced my first games there. I wanted nothing more than to find another company like that.

So I searched. Made lists of toy companies on the edge of games, game companies with hardware components, children's educational startups with an interactive twist. I did cold-calling, informal coffees, multi-hour interviews, created  proposals and planning docs -- and nothing worked out. No hard feelings, just a lot of bad timing and mismatched skills in the end.

I hit a wall and started finding work as a freelance UX/UI designer - it was great and sustainable for a while, but not ultimately what I wanted to do. I missed making a plan and shipping, and I missed working with a team. 

...plus one part frustration...

At the same time, I was thinking a lot about visibility in the tech and gaming industry for both women and minorities. My friend Vivian put it really well this morning - "The more I become a "woman in tech," the more of a raging feminist I've become." It's so true. 

I wanted to put my past personal experiences with sexism in the industry behind me, but everywhere I turned there was cause to talk about it again. I brought it up as anecdotal proof of the problem when well-meaning people questioned whether or not these were widespread issues; I brought it up in intimate, private conversations when friends questioned their own sanity and responses to similarly shitty situations. 

And I had an opportunity to point it out publicly, when yet another conference organizer dismissed the idea that diverse speaker lineups were important and/or attainable. My frustration with the situation led me to start talking with other women in tech about creating a speakers bureau for underrepresented groups, and indirectly led me to start volunteering for ChickTech, where I'm currently serving as a workshop coordinator for their upcoming October event in the Bay Area. 

It's exciting and I'm humbled by the team that's working to execute this project. But I still personally felt like I wasn't fulfilling my end of the deal, to  fully BE a woman in tech and fight this battle in the trenches. Helping from the bottom up, with high school girls building confidence in STEM fields, is fulfilling and amazing. But something was still missing. 

...and a little luck

At some point, something crazier happened. A few friends and I assembled a team for a weekend hardware hackathon, and we managed to win the grand prize. It was exhilarating and amazing, and what we managed to create in under 48 hours (a connected musical instrument visualizer) became the seed for Hardboiled Labs, the first company I've ever co-founded. 

Our flagship product goal was basically a 2.0 of the award-winning idea, a connected toy to bridge the gap between musical 'play' and formal musical education with visualizations and storytelling, with strong emphasis on touch and 'squeezability'. 

We put our evenings and weekends to work in the months following that win, attending events, meetups and conventions, researching crowdfunding campaigns alongside musical education and soft-materials prototyping (all in one breath!). But with the physical absence of one of our engineers (stranded in Europe) and the departure of two original team members, momentum slowed.

I started thinking to myself that we couldn't pull this off. We weren't spending enough time and creating enough velocity to keep it up. There was too much work and even with a new engineer on the team, we were getting less and less productive. 

Our LLC filing papers showed up weeks ago, and instead of feeling excited and anxious to get moving, I felt directionless and defeated. "Another project started and unfinished," I thought to myself. 

Leaping In

So last week, after long conversations, stressful nights and at least one revelatory TED talk (I know), I decided it was time to leap in.

It's been a year since I last had a solid "direction" for my personal and career growth, and it's honestly time for me to just commit. So here's the plan: I'm going to take a leap of faith and dedicate nearly all of my time to Hardboiled Labs to really get the engine moving again towards our finished prototype and launching a crowdfunding campaign. It'll be an opportunity for me to learn on-the-fly about product management and running a startup, as well as continue to provide me an opportunity to hone my user experience and interaction design skills. 

This is simultaneously the easiest and hardest job I've ever gotten because it rests on my ability to motivate myself and be disciplined absent any outside pressures to perform. That's terrifying, knowing how tough it is to believe in myself sometimes, having gone through bouts of questioning my skill and worth, staring down impostor syndrome and unsure whether I'm making the right choices. So I need to make sure that I set myself up for success from the start, have tools in place to deal with hard days when they show up, and remember that I have the support of my team, family and friends on the hardest days that are sure to hit when I least can handle them.

But what I can get in return will hopefully be incredible and satisfying. I will be diving right back into game and interactive design, I'll be a startup founder, and I'll have an opportunity to see out a project that started with such an overwhelming surge of support that it would be a  mistake to let it go to waste. That's three for three on the issues I've been facing the last year.

It's going to take a shift in my perspective of who I am and what I can accomplish. I'm going to have to embrace this identity so I can make the decisions that are right to keep pushing this forward. It's going to be challenging and it's going to mean facing a lot of unknowns.

I'm framing this whole endeavor as "leaping in", because I heard you, Lean In, but it's not nearly enough. I'm leaping because I don't know what's ahead, and I don't know if I'll stick the landing or fall on my face, but it's worth a try in the name of making progress as a learner, facing down the impostor syndrome in my mind, and getting a project to a state where I can confidently say, "Hey, we gave this a try, whether or not we succeeded." And it'll  force me to grow and change and adapt and embrace the hell out of all of it.

I took my sweet time getting to this point, but I'm incredibly excited to get moving on this. And at the end of this journey, I've promised myself a new tattoo to commemorate it all. :)

It's time to leap.

Photo by ornellas