Migraines make me feel like I could die

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@learningsince95
Migraines make me feel like I could die
I’m home alone listening to sad songs and just sobbing. I need this
Do you ever just look deep into your friends eyes at the club and tell her you’re plotting to rhino bump in the head
I don’t think I am okay with a lot going on in my life right now. I think this has been so disappointing for me. Everything feels so hectic and I am so unsure about everything. I don’t know if I want to get into the feelings just now..
I am not happy.
The next time we talk it might all be different. I know I have to prepare myself for that
Too many factors
Taking a moment to reset and slow down for once in my life. Just pausing to think about myself with myself. Enjoying some silence without outsider influences. I am taking care of me. I don’t live for anyone else other than myself so I can take my time. It’ll be nice
I love my tumblr but who I follow and what I see is not who I am anymore. Seriously a little make over
This is the can’t sleep can’t eat kind of feeling
Would you have loved me better if I was who I am today? Probably not to be honest
I had a dream last night and it was like the other ones. Where you and I aren’t together and I’m just lingering around your presence waiting for the situation to change. Last night I finally said in the dream well I’ve made it this long without you and if that’s not progress then I don’t know what is.
It’s really only time that can heal
Moments of panic
Amazing my family just doesn’t bother me once they come home. I mean I’m just here doing laundry but like they really leave me alone lol
I literally have to put myself to bed
Put myself to bed
Have to
I got rid of my social media. Well most of it
And it has been so different for me. I don’t feel connected to those I watched live our their lives through photos where I responded with a like. I have had no desire to get my instagram back or my Facebook back either.
I wonder if its because it makes me so anxious or I truly believe I do not enjoy the typical social media platforms. I mean I still have my Finsta - that I deleted all the photos from, my twitter - which has the most random selection of followers from throughout my life, and TikTok because TikTok.
Anyways, IDAF and I will be posting on here more, tweeting what I want uploading 60s videos of whatever I want. Like seriously, who even cares about what I’m doing right now.
i think tumblr is my preferred social media because it’s the website that reminds me the most of the internet from my childhood. like we are never again going to experience the internet the way it was in the early-mid 2000s when a lot of the Big Sites were just taking off and didn’t exist yet and the internet was millions of weird small communities instead of like, Four Big Ones. Facebook Twitter Instagram Youtube and whatever are always going to dominate now and even if you create your own little niche on twitter or whatever, random people are still going to find you and you can’t really escape bad takes from famous people or journalists who had one article published in the guardian and now think they are the authority on any given subject. but famous people don’t go on tumblr and advertising does not work here and you can’t see follower counts so influencers can’t exist even if they wanted to and a majority of the site are users who joined back in they hey day and stuck around because they know that no other site is going to provide them the kind of content tumblr does. yeah weirdos can still find you and your content can leave your little circle but it’s so much easier to build your own little world here for you and your friends who have the same interests without having to worry that like, your grandparents will see your post or fast food is advertised to you.
I hate that I dream about you and that I miss you. I hear music and think of us.