La vie en RoRo

Roisin. Still on Tumblr after years. Irish. Foodaholic/Scale junkie. Abused too many diet pills and laxatives. Trying to overcome my personal obstacles (anxiety,ed, mood swings, low self-esteem, depression etc.) and learn how to LIVE! My goal in life is to be a happy, healthy, wholesome and balanced person. ________________________ ♥ -foreign languages, french, german, irish, linguistics, culture, baking, cooking, coffee, irish dancing, ballet, art, movies + cinematography, animals, cats, horses, equestrian sports, philosophy, psychology, books + literature, poetry, fashion, perfume, shoes, music, piano-♥ Want to know more?just ask.

[lefreakestchiccc]

chunky arms and big stomach 

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This song reminds me of my big brother who died. Also reminds me of being maybe 4 years of age. Says it’s a 2010 song but I thought I could remember this song on MTV when I was tiny. Playing it and want to cry. 

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"Perhaps I don't deserve good things because I am praying for sins I don't remember" ~~

Perhaps I'm here like a fool wondering why I am reliving 2018 all over again, why do people call me fking bipolar when I'm just normal... Why do I have to be controlled by psychiatrists and explain every shit and fart they ask about.

I've Bulimia for years on end and coped alone... It was only when I turned 19 anybody offered any help... I'm 29 now and don't need any Maudsley method or to be called hypomanic, "pressured speech"...

Sorry I came out of my mother's vagina with a gaping hole in the roof of my mouth, my bones crack and hurt 24/7 from Osteopenia. Check your fking charts. I'm not saving up 400euro for a third DEXA scan to prove shit to anybody. Myringoplasty big fucking scar tympanoplasty big fucking scar 2 major mouth operations

Try to maintain fluency in 4 languages as I maintain the idea i am an aspiring polyglot.

Hahahaaaaaa what a joke.

Pathetic my life

Fuck it, better off on my own 😬😬😬😬

Why why why

My mood on a scale of 1 to 10 is fuck off!!!!

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Think I'm weird? Yeah I am weird. Heheeee

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Dont post this shit on instagram leave it on tumblr if it has to go somewhere...

My love for somebody os unrequited and i lie here crying at 7.50am

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I'm a clown,

Circus freak.

Fresh out of the funny farm.

Caged up on, off, on, off 10 years.

Run around like a lab rat,

Act like a monkey,

Seeing rats without my valium, anyway.

Sure what does anyone expect from me, then? Anyway...

I'm not a good poet!

I'm a shitty writer too.

My Anorexia autobiography is

"stream of consciousness",

More like

Stream of word salad...

Fucking idiot.

Absolute retard.

HANDSCHUHESCHNEEBALLBEWERFER.

Piece of shit,

Poooop.

Nom nom laxatives.

Fucking idiot.

Get a life.

When? Ha

Fuck off (me),

"play in traffic"

"full of shit"

"your life is like a movie"

Really? Thanks for all the compliments.

Pack of cuntbags. People.

Then what am I?

Nothing better, anyway.

Sack of shit

Waste of oxygen

Yeahyeayjajajajja

Time to go shower anyway...

Will try not to slice my body open with a razor.

[lefreakestchiccc]

I've always been somebody who liked rules, routine, self discipline, order.

But I'm here smoking cigarette number 3 of the morning, on coffee number 2, still in pjs, feeling like such an absolute mess at 8.30am on a Sunday morning.

To be fair, I'm kicking a huge valium addiction and on way less meds.

I've just wrote out a new chronological plan or "routine" which I must strictly follow each day.

Can't keep chopping, changing, going on in such disorganised chaos.

Need healthy control and routine.

And maybe to settle some type of medium between Anorexic/Bulimic thoughts versus healthy thoughts - maybe I can stick at 1200 kcalories a day, not 5/700kcalories with crazy puking and exercise bouts.

Need more discipline, rules, order!!!!!

Ganbarimasu, I'll try my best.

This is so pathetic and crazy.

How hard is it to just make a daily routine!!!!

8.40am and am exhausting myself for the day already

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49. Zoom back to ages ago on Tumblr, I'd a pic of 40 up. I would not let myself go over 40kg. Time has passed and I've gained a crap load of weight forced to...

Anorexia my little friend never went away, haha.

So, since I'm a fool I'll just try lose weight again then feel sorry for myself when I'm really out of control. Yapyapya0p.

Jog on, fat woman..

Am on the cross trainer trying to burn the calz

[lefreakestchiccc]

I wish I could turn my Bulimia relapse in to a nice little poetic piece, but I can't. Aha.

So yesterday I waa convinced I'd die after such a bad noodle purge but I just had heart palpitations and slept for hours.

Today I'd 3 big meals, a load of junky snacks and took 3 laxatives. Might pop some more back before bed.

Tomorrow "I'm regaining control"!!! And will diet.

I'm a 29 year old weirdo.

[lefreakestchiccc]

Heartbreak isn't glamorous

It's roaring your eyes out in bed all alone

Staring at the wall all day too paralysed ro go so anything

I'm heartbroken

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Docile creature is not my feature

Aha used to write that over and over

[positive-mh-recovery]

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Yess im going to Spain in May all going well for a month if people will leave me alone and let me go do my thing

Sitting a Chinese exam next month

[extramadness]

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Words cut through me like a knife

[mybonesandfat]

✨reblog to get skinny legs✨

ignore and the wizard will skidaddle over your skidoodles

[littlevogue]

i’m desperate.

[lefreakestchiccc]

Me too 😭

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The terms ghosting and gaslighting really annoy me. It's like it's trendy to fire around stupid words like toxic when you don't want to listen to somebody else's pain..

Oh no, I'll accuse them of being toxic instead!!!

I decide to take a nap and get off the stupid smartphone and a friend might say I'm ghosting the person for being too tired to answer the phone.

I'm a narcisst because i prefer to talk about myself instead of rant about other people all day? Ok, cuntbags.

I'm fed up of the millenial snowflake shit they throw at people my age.

Supposedly I've a deadly illness but people just laugh at everything

I hate Ireland

[poems-and-word]

“I know there may be universes out there where I made different choices and they led me somewhere else, led me to someone else. And my heart breaks for every single version of me that didn’t end up with you.”

[poems-and-word]

“I know there may be universes out there where I made different choices and they led me somewhere else, led me to someone else. And my heart breaks for every single version of me that didn’t end up with you.”