I JUST READ THE LAST CHAPTER!!!!! AND THE AUTHOR'S NOTE. OMG DANIELLE THAT WAS SUCH A LOVELY WAY TO END THE CHAPTER!!! OT WAS PERFECT!! ALSO SUCH A CUTE AUTHOR'S NOTE!! I'm going to miss this fanfic :)
I LOVED your fanfics, and an AMAZING writer as yourself deserves as long as a break as you'd like. Rest up that beautiful brain you've got there. I think you're amazing that's all I'm trying to say here.
thank you so much! I’m glad you liked them!
and don’t worry. I’m sure I’ll write another one someday.
If you haven't read chapter 41 yet, please do that before reading this.
Hello!
I'm Danielle and I wrote this lovely little story as well as others you've probably read.
In case you didn't know that already.
As some of you may already know, I have been wanting to end this fan fiction for a while now and I think it's to the point where I feel that it would be okay to happen.
So that means that the last chapter you just read is the end of this story.
And if you didn't read the last chapter, surprise! It's over! (It's not you, it's me. I'm sorry.)
I know a handful of people are going to be sad about it, but I just feel that it's best for me that I end it. (I know, how selfish of me, right?!)
However, if you're curious as to why I've decided this, I'm about to lay down some reasoning on you (don't worry. I'll tuck you in and read you a bedtime story, too).
First and foremost, writing can be very stressful at times and while I'm glad to know people love reading what I write so much, it just gets to be too much when people ask for when I'll be updating again (although this has become progressively less of an issue since Love Will Save You).
Secondly, writer's block is a bitch. Pretty self-explanatory.
Third(and this is more on the topic of future fan fictions),it's really hard to come up with ideas, especially when you're doing all the writing yourself.
Which brings me to ask that if you ever request a one-shot, please try to give me a prompt or something. It's a lot easier to write when I know where I want the story to go (and I also get it written much faster which means you won't have to wait as long for it).
If you still don't understand, that's probably because you don't know what a duvet is.
(shout out to people that get that joke aka more than likely only me)
But in all seriousness, thank you guys so so so much for taking the time to read what I write whether it's newer or older. I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for you guys and all the support.
I hope you understand why I've decided to end it kind of without much warning and why I won't be starting another fan fiction any time soon.
I love you guys so much and I can't even begin to explain how much you mean to me.
I set up a meeting with All Time Low and I was on my way there now. It's only been a little less than two months since I was offered the job of designing their album cover and it usually takes me way longer to finish something as detailed as this, but I know it's perfect. Although, I didn't spread out the time spent on it as much as I should have. I spent probably 7 hours a day on it that first week even though it was just coming up with the idea and drawing the outline. I had some days where I would work on it non-stop and some days where I refused to even look at it. Ian really helped me out with maintaining my sanity and encouraging me to go my own pace and that the band wouldn't mind if I spent just a little bit longer on it.
Ian and the guys had a band meeting today while Danielle had a photoshoot for her album, so I took the opportunity to go to Hopeless and meet with All Time Low. I didn't tell anyone about it simply because I was afraid that they would say they didn't like it and wanted something different. I thought if that were to happen, I would be able to just say that I didn't like where the drawing was headed and scrap it and start over. But it was done. I knew it was.
I took a deep breath after I parked my car, grabbing my sketch book and walking into the building.
"Hi, I'm here to see All Time Low," I said politely to the secretary.
She smiled, "They're waiting for you in the conference room at the end of the hall."
"Thank you," I smiled back, walking to the room.
"Caity!" Jack shouted, nearly falling off of his chair. He rushed to hug me as did the other guys, making me laugh.
"Okay, boys," I said when we all sat down, "I want to get right to it because I currently feel like I'm going to throw up and I don't want to do it in front of you." I opened up my sketch book as they watched eagerly. "Now, I hope this works because I don't know if I'm going to be able to do anything better than this. No pressure," I smiled sweetly. "Rian, drum roll." He happily did so on the top of the table as I announced, "Gentlemen. I present to you the possible cover of Don't Panic." I turned the book around and their jaws dropped.
"That is ridiculous!" Alex exclaimed.
"Dude!" Jack said loudly, "That's crazy!"
"Does that mean you like it?" I asked nervously.
"We love it!" they said together.
"This is beyond anything we even thought of," Zack nodded approvingly.
"Yeah, all Jack came up with was hiding dick drawings everywhere," Rian laughed.
"About that..." I trailed off jokingly. Jack looked at me hopefully and I giggled, "Sorry, Jack. If you find any dick drawings, they were completely unintentional. Maybe next time."
"Seriously though," Alex smiled, "This is amazing. We'd definitely love to use it for the album."
"Then by all means, do!" I squeaked, carefully tearing the page out of the book and handing the drawing over to him, "I didn't draw it for nothing!"
"Where's Ian?" he asked randomly, taking the paper out of my hand, "I would have thought he'd been here!"
"Oh, the band actually had a meeting today and one of my other friends had a photoshoot, so no one actually knows I'm here."
"What?! Who were you supposed to celebrate with?!" Jack yelled, jumping up.
I smiled a bit before shrugging, "I didn't want them to be here in case you didn't like it."
"Well, call them!" Alex demanded, "Have them come over!" I laughed and pulled out my phone and calling Ian while Alex ran out to tell the secretary to send them back when they arrived.
"Hello?" he answered.
"Hey!" I chirped, "Are you home yet?"
"Yeah, we just got back about 5 minutes. Where are you?"
"I'm at Hopeless. Gather everyone up and come here. I've got a surprise for you," I ended the call before he could respond, excited for how they would react - especially Danielle since All Time Low was her favorite band. Around 10 or so minutes later, we could hear everyone walk in since they were talking quite loudly and the building wasn't that big.
"Do you think All Time Low are here?" Danielle squeaked optimistically.
Nash chuckled, "I don't think so, babe. They're probably playing a show or something."
"Don't you think that if they were playing a show right now, I would be there?" she sassed. The guys and I snickered quietly as they made their way down the hall and I walked out of the room just before they got there.
"Hey, guys!" I grinned widely, desperately trying to hide my excitement.
"Hey, babe," Ian said, kissing my cheek, "What's going on?"
"Caity!" Danielle squealed, "Did you see this?!" She was staring at the Nothing Personal record hanging on the wall.
"I did, but my surprise is better than that!" I grinned, grabbing her hand and pulling her into the conference room. As I had expected her to, Danielle screamed, instantly slapping her hand over her mouth.
"Whoa," everyone else said slowly.
"Nash," Danielle said into her hand, "Pinch me."
"Danielle-" Nash started before she cut him off.
"Nash!" He quickly complied and she squeaked, "Ow! Okay, I'm not dreaming."
"Wait!" Alex suddenly shouted, "I know you! You sang Therapy on Taylor Swift's tour!" She nodded happily and he rushed over, giving her a bone-crushing hug.
"Um, Alex," Jack spoke up, "I think you're smothering her."
"Don't ruin this for me, Barakat!" she shouted, her voice muffled by Alex's shirt, making us laugh as her let go of her.
"You absolutely killed it!" he gushed, "I've heard a lot of covered of our songs, but that one is by far my favorite."
Danielle looked at me desperately, "Caity, why didn't you prepare me for this?"
"I wanted you to be surprised," I smirked, "And it looks like I did a very good job."
"Alright, alright," Ryan chuckled, "Why are we here?" Alex went back to the table and held up my drawing, smiling widely.
Everyone's eyes went wide and Danielle yelled, "It's the album cover?!"
"It's the album cover!" I confirmed, causing them to attack me with one of our famous group hugs.
~
*Two weeks later*
-Danielle-
"Danielle!" I heard Katia scream from where she was sitting in my living room, "Oh my God, Danielle!" I jumped, dropping the plate I was drying on the counter and spun around as she ran into the kitchen.
"What's wrong?" I asked quickly, "Who's dying?"
"You're about to!" she squealed happily, "Your album just hit number one on iTunes!"
"You-You're kidding, right?" I asked in shock, rushing over to her, "It's only been an hour!"
"I just checked it! Look!" She showed me her phone and I saw my album with #1 next to it.
"Holy shit!" I screamed.
"We've got to go tell everyone!" Katia squeaked, grabbing my hand and pulling me out the door. Everyone was outside because we'd decided to have a little picnic before my album's release party tonight. The group jumped up when they saw Katia and I running out.
"What's going on?" Jamie asked worriedly.
"Guess what album just hit number one!" Katia sang.
"Are you for real?" Jenna's eyes widened. I nodded quickly, grinning. Nash ran over to me, crashing into me and wrapping his arms around my waist, kissing me.
"Danielle," he said quietly when he pulled away, although I could tell he was beyond excited for me, "Oh my God."
I felt my eyes start to get watery and I laughed, burying my face in his shirt, "I think I'm gonna cry."
"I don't blame you," Ryan laughed as well, giving me a hug, "This is a huge deal!"
"I'm shaking so bad," I giggled, "I don't think I can make lunch anymore."
"I'll go make it!" Ian offered, giving me a hug and going inside.
"I think he just wants to get out of the heat," Caity joked.
"He should have thought about that before he suggested spending the afternoon outside," Cameron laughed.
"Let's just all go back in," I shook my head, smiling, "I don't want to have a heat stroke before the party tonight."
~
-Nash-
*At the release party*
"We go live in 30 seconds, people!" Angie announced scrambling to get last minute things done. The show decided that they wanted to do a live show for the finale, which meant there were cameras everywhere. I honestly felt kinda bad for Danielle, who had been hanging onto my arm since the moment we got here. She was comfortable singing in front of thousands of people she didn't know, but if you put her in a room with even 10 of them, she would get nervous.
"Danielle," I told her quietly, wiggling my arm out of her grasp and wrapping it around her shoulders so she could have her arms around my waist instead, "There's nothing to be nervous about."
"That's easy for you to say," she muttered as Angie began talking to the camera, "You're used to having a bunch of cameras around."
"I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, okay?" I assured her, kissing her forehead, "Just think of it as...a birthday party at Disneyland. A bunch of people you don't know are still gonna be there, but you can't let that ruin your fun."
She gave me a confused look, "Your analogies are so weird."
"They are," I agreed, looking behind her and smiling, "But they're also just to distract you from the real reason you shouldn't be nervous."
Before she could respond, Adrienne said, "We heard someone's album went number one this afternoon." She spun around to see her parents, Adrienne, Keith, Anna, and MacKenzie smiling back at her.
"What are you guys doing here?!" Danielle squealed happily and hugged them all, instantly forgetting about her nerves.
"We wouldn't miss our daughter's album release party," Liz smiled.
Jason chuckled, "Yeah, and I certainly wouldn't miss out on the free food."
"Now I know where you get it from," I teased Danielle.
"I'm offended," she paused for a moment to add some sort of dramatic effect, "That you thought I got my love of food from my mom."
Keith nodded, "She's got a point."
"And for that, I'm going to go spend time with someone who's actually understanding." Just as she said that, Katia walked by. She squeaked when Danielle grabbed her arm and pulled her back, "Katia! You're my date now!"
"Did Nash make fun of your love for food again?" she laughed.
Danielle looked at me with an amused smirk, "She gets it. Now if you'll excuse us, we have....date-like things to tend to."
"I love you!" I called after her, laughing as they walked away.
~
Around 45 minutes later, Angie went up on stage and told us was time for speeches. Katia went first, followed by Jamie, then I would go up. We knew there wouldn't be time to have every one of us go up and say something, so we all mutually agreed to have the three people who were closest to her go on stage. Nearing the end of Jamie's speech, I started to feel my heartbeat quicken.
"We are all insanely proud of Danielle for how far she's come - not just with this album, but with everything she's done in her life so far and everything she'll accomplish in the future," Jamie smiled at her, ending his speech, "And now, Nash would like to say a few words." He hopped off of the stage and gave me a quick hug as I made my way to the microphone. Jamie took his place back beside Danielle and she smiled at him, kissing his cheek. I took a deep breath, and I could tell she noticed something was up, but I tried to brush it off.
"There's not much I can say that Jamie and Katia haven't said already," I chuckled, "As Jamie said, we're all very proud of her and I'm glad this album is doing as well as it is because she really does deserve it. One thing I've always told Danielle is that if you can't find a way to say something, write a song instead and I know this is kinda supposed to be about her album, but if it's okay with her, I actually did just that and I'd like to sing it for her now." She wiped her cheek and nodded as I grabbed my guitar and a stool from the bar beside the stage. I motioned for her to come up and she smiled shyly as she made her way onstage, sitting down and looking up at me. "I know the road up to this point hasn't always been easy and I know you struggle with a lot more than you let people believe, so I wrote this song and I really hope you'll like it." I leaned down and quickly kissed her before starting the song.
Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me
But bear this in mind, it was meant to be
And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me
I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile
You've never loved your stomach or your thighs
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine
But I'll love them endlessly
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if I do, it's you, oh, it's you they add up to
I'm in love with you and all these little things
You can't go to bed without a cup of tea
And maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep
And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep
Though it makes no sense to me
I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape
You never want to know how much you weigh
You still have to squeeze into your jeans
But you're perfect to me
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if it's true, it's you, it's you they add up to
I'm in love with you and all these little things
You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you
And you'll never treat yourself right, darling, but I want you to
If I let you know I'm here for you
Maybe you'll love yourself like I love you, oh
And I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth
Cause it's you, oh, it's you, it's you they add up to
And I'm in love with you and all these little things
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if it's true, it's you, it's you they add up to
I'm in love with you and all your little things
I watched as Jamie jumped up and handed Danielle a tissue. She laughed lightly and thanked him, wiping her tears. I smiled as I put my guitar back in its stand, going back to the microphone and facing Danielle.
"I'm guessing that means you liked it and I'm hoping that will make your decision easier." She gave me a confused look as I went on, "I always told myself I would never fall in love because falling in love only leads to broken hearts, but that was before I met you. When I met you, something inside of me said 'This girl is going to be worth it' and I knew at that moment that I would do whatever it took to make you mine. It certainly wasn't easy," I said, making her smile, "But I did, and although we've had our fair share of fights and misunderstandings and break-ups, I am just as in love with you as I was the first time we met and I would hope you still feel the same." She shrugged and scrunched up her face jokingly, causing everyone to laugh. I rolled my eyes and chuckled, "I know you kept putting your walls up because of past relationships, but it was worth every effort to break them down and I would do it again in a heartbeat if I had to. You are the strongest, most talented, and most beautiful girl I've ever met and I am so proud to call you mine. I've said this before and I'll keep saying it until it stops being true; You make me fall more and more in love with you every day and I want to make sure that you never have the opportunity to stop." Her hands flew up to cover her mouth when I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small box, kneeling down on one knee. Everyone but Ryan, Jamie, Ian, Cameron, MacKenzie, and her father gasped quietly while they just smiled, already knowing I was planning to propose. Danielle stared at me, tears running down her cheeks. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, Danielle Nicole Myers, will you marry me?" My heart was racing, nervous she would say no as I waited for her answer.
After what felt like an eternity, she barely nodded and I heard a muffled cry tell me, "Yes." I smiled in relief, taking her left hand away from her mouth and sliding the ring down her finger. She looked at it for a moment before looking back up at me and smiling, putting her hands on my cheeks and leaning down, pressing our lips together. I smiled, wrapping my arms around her waist as we stood up, spinning her around. Everyone cheered loudly and Angie urged Danielle to say a few words before time ran out. I went back down to my seat while she inched over to the microphone.
"I don't think anything I have to say is gonna be able to top that," she sniffled a bit, making everyone laugh, "I know we're a bit short on time, so I'll try to make this as quick as I can. Ever since I was little, I never considered singing as something I could do as anything other than being alone in my room and dancing along to songs on the radio. And thanks to these guys," she motioned toward us, "I found what makes me happy. I have the most amazing support system I could ever ask for. If it weren't for them and for all the fans, I would probably be cramped up in a 4-by-4 cubicle asking myself where I would be right now if I followed my dreams. And I am so glad that I don't have to feel that way. This life is crazy and sometimes it feels like you never get to just sit down and take it all in, but it's worth it to me. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow or next week or five years from now, but I look forward to every second of it," she smiled.
omg I very much dislike you for making me cry at Danielle's "you're worth it speech" in chapter 35. I am absolutely in tears. (ps I love you. I was kidding about disliking you)
Along with being all about being sassy and a complete bad ass, I also enjoy making people cry. It’s a gift, really.
I forgot to add something in my last ask: OMFG YOU BROUGHT IN ALEX AND ALL TIME LOW!! BLESS YOU YOU AMAZING PERSON OMG I LOVED THAT THEY WANNA WORK WITH CAITY!!!! OMG, I'M JUST SO HAPPY FOR HER, I'M SURE SHE LOVED THE CHAPTER AS MUCH AS I DID!!! BTW, I'VE BEEN GRINNING AND LAUGHING WHILE READING AND MY DAD IS GIVING ME FUNNY LOOKS! BUT ANYWAY I LOVED THE WRITING AND THE OUTFITS!!!! AMAZING WRITING AS ALWAYS!!! YOU ARE ONE OF MY FAVORITE WRITERS DANIELLE!!
let’s be honest. I don’t even know if anyone in this story reads it anymore. BUT. just in case, I made sure to hit them with extra feels.
OMG, I JUST READ 26 TO 40, AND OMG IT WAS ALL BEAUTIFUL, AND SOME IT WAS SAD, AND THEN SOME OF IT WAS BAD-ASS AND YOU'RE SUCH AN AMAZING WRITER, AND I LOVE YOU DANIELLE!!! YOU'RE AN AMAZING PERSON, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT OK?!
OMG I DON'T KNOW WHICH CHAPTER I WAS ON BECAUSE I HAVEN'T READ THIS IN A WHILE, I'M SO SORRY, LAST THING I REMEMBER WAS HELPING YOU WRITE THAT CHAPTER, CAN YOU REMIND ME WHICH CHAPTER THAT WAS?! I'M SO SORRY, YOU KNOW I LOVE YOUR FANFICS! DON'T BE MAD DANIELLE
if that actually is the last chapter you’ve read, you should be on 26-ish.
you have got a lot of catching up to do and I wish I could feel sorry for you.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR A GOOD HCR FANFIC SO I FOUND TWO ON YOUR PAGE AND I'LL PROBABLY READ THEM BOTH TONIGHT AND CRY AND SMILE SO THANK YOU AHEAD OF TIME.
"You rang?" Danielle cheerfully answered her phone.
"I think we should hang out today," I told her, "We rarely ever get to spend time together just the two of us and with the girls still at the studio, I thought now would be a good opportunity."
"I'm down." I could just see her shrugging, making me chuckle quietly. "Just give me like, 5 minutes and I'll be right over."
"Alright," I smiled, "I'll see you in a bit." A few minutes later, Danielle strolled into my apartment wearing her pajama shorts and one of Nash's old shirts. "Looking real classy there," I laughed as she plopped down on the couch beside me.
"You didn't expect me to get dressed up for you, did you?" she smirking, pushing my shoulder.
"Well, you didn't know what we were gonna do," I teased, "I could have been planning to take you out for coffee or something."
"But you weren't because it's 7pm," she smiled, "So what's up?"
"Nothing, I just feel like we don't spend a lot of one-on-one time together."
"Which is translated to I did something wrong, but you're nice enough to not call me out on it in front of everyone."
"You didn't do anything wrong," I shook my head then mumbled, "And Nash said I shouldn't have, so..."
"Nash said you shouldn't have what?" she asked, confused.
I sighed, "When we were on Taylor's tour and Jordan showed up - after I pulled Nash off of him, I mean - he accidentally said that Jordan almost hit you... Again."
Her eyes widened slightly, "Oh."
"And then when your show was on, you were talking about it taking a long time to understand that you shouldn't be afraid to be in the same room as someone you love and I just want to know what happened with him." I finally finished rambling. Danielle sighed, knowing that, although I wasn't pushing her to tell me, I was going to ask her about it periodically until she did.
"When I met him sophomore year, he was a really great guy. He made me feel like a princess, you know?" she said, "But something changed when he realized he was talented. He started bringing me down a lot more and calling me names, but he never once hit me. He was always telling me I was lucky to have him because no one else wanted me and that I should have felt honored that he would even look at me." She rolled her eyes. "The first time it got physical was a couple weeks after he'd gotten signed and he'd been so busy with working on his music that I'd offered to go buy groceries for him. When I got to his house, he grabbed my wrist and pushed me against the wall because I 'bought the wrong kind of paper towels'," she made air quotes, laughing bitterly at the memory. "He apologized immediately after, telling me he didn't know what came over him and that he really did love me, so I forgave him and we moved on. Nothing happened until a few months later. I don't remember much of what happened that night, but I do know that he accused me of cheating on him because that's what he kept yelling before I got knocked out. I ended up in the hospital for three weeks because I'd lost so much blood. When I woke up, the doctor told me that I was lucky to be alive because that fall down those stairs really messed me up. I still can't understand how people believed him. His place didn't even have stairs," she choked, taking a breath to calm herself down. "That was it for me. I couldn't take it anymore. I decided that as soon as I was all healed, I was going to leave him, but luckily, I didn't have to do much for it to happen. About a week before I got better, he got news that he was going on tour with some really popular band and told me that he didn't need me anymore and ended the relationship. A part of me was heartbroken because even with all that had happened, he did have his good days where he was an amazing boyfriend and I was going to miss that, honestly, but I knew it was for the best. Not long after that, I moved back to Tennessee and now here we are almost a year later," she laughed quietly, not really knowing how to end her story.
I was speechless. I felt a little guilty knowing something was happening to her that I didn't know about even though I hadn't seen her in nearly 12 years. I pulled her into a hug, making her smile. When I finally let go of her a couple minutes later, she looked at me intently.
"Why ask now?" she asked.
"It's been bothering me," I answered honestly, but my voice was quiet, "And we haven't really had time to just be alone and talk about it."
"There was nothing you could have done, Ry," she said, shaking her head, "Not from four hours away."
"Danielle," I told her, "Four hours aren't going to stop me from keeping you safe."
She smiled slightly and laid her head on my shoulder, "Thank you, Ryan."
I put my arm around her and squeezed her, "You're welcome, Danielle."
A couple hours later, Danielle had fallen asleep on me while we were watching TV just a few minutes before Nash and the girls got home.
"Hey, Ry," Jenna walked in and I quickly put my finger to my lips, signalling for her to be quiet and then pointed to Danielle. She laughed quietly, shaking her head, "I'll go get Nash." She came back not even a minute later with Nash trailing behind her. He chuckled, walking over to the couch.
"How long as she been out?" he asked.
"Not long," I answered, "Probably like, a few minutes."
"Thanks for keeping her occupied while we were gone," he smiled.
"Thanks for taking the girls to the studio so I could talk to her," I mocked.
"I'd say any time, but being in a car with your girlfriend is very stressful."
"Hey!" Jenna whispered, "It's not my fault you're a terrible driver!"
"I'm not a terrible driver," he laughed, "And I offered to let you take the wheel, but you refused."
"You think I'm driving around in LA traffic?" she scoffed half-jokingly, "Because I don't."
"Thanks for the ride, Nash," he copied her voice, picking his girlfriend up, "Oh, it was no problem, Jenna. Always happy to help out a friend." He left quickly, not giving Jenna the chance to respond.
When the door closed behind him, she mumbled, "Dick," and walked over to the couch, plopping down next to me. I simply laughed, wrapping my arms around her and hugging her tightly, asking her how her day went.
-Caity-
"How was recording?" Ian asked as I walked into our apartment. I groaned and trudged further into the living room, throwing myself onto the couch across from where he was sitting. He smiled sympathetically, "That bad, huh?"
"I kept fucking up," I sniffled, burying my face into the cushion, "Everyone had to stay later because I couldn't get any of the chords right and I just think you should be the one to do this for Danielle because she deserves a bass player who's actually good."
"Babe," he sighed. He stood up and I felt his hand pat my back as a motion for me sit up. I did and he sat down next to me, pulling me onto his lap and wrapping his arms around me tightly. I laid my head on his shoulder and pressed my face into his neck as he lightly ran his fingers up and down my back. "So you had one bad day?" he said quietly, "That doesn't mean you should just throw in the towel. It doesn't matter to Danielle how many tries it takes because she doesn't want anyone but you playing bass on this album for her. Everyone has off days and you had just that today. This doesn't define you because you are a very talented girl and Danielle and I just want you to be able to show it to the world."
I smiled slightly, "I really don't like you sometimes."
"You only don't like me when you know I'm right," he chuckled.
I lifted my head to look at him, "I love you, Ian."
"I love you too, Caity," he said lowly, kissing me before picking me up and carrying me to bed.
~
The next morning, I felt someone shake my shoulder gently. I groaned and buried myself further into the covers and heard Ian laugh quietly.
"I have a surprise for you and in order for you to think I'm the best boyfriend in the world, you need to wake up."
"Well, you're not off to a good start with waking me up early," I sassed, repositioning myself to be on my back so I could look at him.
"Okay," he laughed again, "I'll just get to the point then. Remember our first date when you told me you wanted to be an artist?" I nodded, surprised he remembered, and he went on, "Well, before you got home last night, I got off the phone with someone I think you're gonna freak out about."
"Who?"
"Get ready and we'll go meet them," he sang happily, strolling out of the room. I sighed, but got up and did my regular morning routine of getting dressed, brushing my teeth, putting on my makeup, and grabbing my phone off my nightstand before I walked out into the living room and Ian jumped up from the couch when he saw me. He had my sketch pad in his hand, holding it as if it were the most important thing in the world - which it was - I just didn't understand why he was the one holding it. He excitedly pulled me out to my car since his motorcycle was being repaired for whatever reason and we set off to the still unknown destination.
"You are way too excited for 10:30 in the morning," I groaned, but couldn't help but smile at him, "But you're also unbelievably adorable."
"Unbelievably adorable isn't exactly the vibe I'm going for," he pouted jokingly.
I laughed, "Then what vibe are you going for?"
"Incredibly sexy," he smirked.
"See, I would use that phrase, but I would also describe your vibe right now as a little kid on Christmas morning, so I think that would be pretty inappropriate."
"Ah, but you do not deny that you do think I am, in fact, incredibly sexy!"
I rolled my eyes and smiled, "Whatever helps you sleep at night." A few minutes later, Ian pulled into a parking lot with a building that had Hopeless Records' logo on the door. "What are we doing here?" I asked, confused. He held his finger up, turning off the car and quickly unbuckling, getting out and running over to the passenger side door. I unbuckled my seat belt as he opened my door, taking my sketch pad off of my lap and holding it much like he was doing at home. I slowly got out of the car and he grabbed my hand, pulling me inside. Ian began leading me down a hallway, but I stopped abruptly about halfway down it when I saw a familiar album cover out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look up at the frame hanging on the wall and started smiling like what I'm sure looked like an idiot.
"You okay, babe?" Ian asked from down the hallway when he realized I wasn't following him anymore.
"I am staring at the gold record of the greatest album to ever grace this planet! Ask me if I'm okay again!" I said, not looking away from the wall.
"Are you okay?" a voice that wasn't Ian's asked in an amused tone, but I knew exactly whose it was.
I spun toward Ian and nearly screamed, "Are you serious right now?!"
"I'm glad you like the album!" Alex chuckled, walking toward me. Wait a minute. Alex Gaskarth was walking toward me. I was still frozen in shock and I could tell he knew that by the grin on his face. When he reached me, he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly. "It's so nice to meet you!" he said happily, "I've seen your drawings and I'm excited to get to work with you!"
"Wait, what?" I let go of him as soon as I realized what he said.
"You haven't told her yet?" Alex asked Ian.
Ian chuckled, "I thought she'd actually believe it if it came from you."
"Wait," I said as Alex led Ian and I into a conference room and we sat down, "You've seen my drawings?"
"Yeah, about that," Ian said shyly, "While you were at the studio yesterday, I met with the band and showed them some of your sketches."
I stuck out my bottom lip, "You met All Time Low without me?"
"Oh, don't worry," someone behind me laughed, "You'll get to meet them, too." I squeaked, hiding my face in my hands, as Rian walked into the room with Jack and Zack trailing behind.
"Nice of you to finally join us," Alex joked.
"You're just lucky I'm out of bed before noon," Jack retorted, sitting down with him across from me as did Rian and Zack.
"Anyway," Alex laughed, looking back at me, "Now that everyone's here, I'm just gonna get right down to why you are as well. As I've already said, we saw your sketch book and we think your art is phenomenal. I'm sure you're aware that we're recording a new album and we've been looking for someone to design the cover for us, but we haven't found anyone we really like until now."
"So what you're saying is you want me to..." I trailed off in shock.
Alex smiled and nodded, "We want you to design the album cover."
"I'm in," I said without even needing to think about it.
"You don't even know what we want you to do," Jack chuckled.
"I don't care. I'm in."
Alex laughed again, "Okay then. The album is going to be called Don't Panic but we don't really have any specific thing we're looking for in the cover art other than we'd like it to be cartoonish."
"I can do that," I nodded, "When do you need it by?"
"You take as long as you need," Rian chimed in, "We know things like this take a while and you probably won't have it done overnight, so once you feel like it's perfect, just give us a call and we'll meet back here and look at it."
I grinned as we all stood up, "Thank you so much. You seriously don't understand how much you've helped me these past few years and this is....it's just insane."
Alex simply smiled, giving me a tight hug without saying anything. As the band left, they each gave me a hug. After Zack was out of sight, I squealed quietly and grabbed Ian's face, kissing him.
"How did you even do this?!" I exclaimed.
"I know people," he shrugged casually, smiling.
——————————————————————————————–
we're just gonna pretend Dirty Work already came out, cool? cool.
Outfit(even though it kinda really serves no purpose?):
Caity: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=126671473
A couple days later, I went with Danielle, Angie, Jared, and Michael to the recording studio so she could get started on her album. Danielle had asked me to go with her, of course; It wasn't like I just invited myself. She was still a little iffy about continuing with music as a job and not just a hobby, but she agreed to make the album and see how things went from there.
"I hear you've written a new song since you were last here?" Justin asked her.
"I have," she replied, smiling slightly.
"Why don't we start off with that one and go from there?"
"You wrote another song?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. She nodded and without explaining further, grabbed a bottle of water off the table and walked into the recording booth with Michael.
"She didn't tell you about it, huh?" Justin chuckled.
"Nope," I sighed, laughing a bit as well.
"You'll love it, don't worry," he smiled.
"Does she do that a lot?" Angie asked from where she was standing with Jared not far away.
"What?" I asked, looking over at her.
"Not tell you about songs she's written?"
I chuckled quietly, "Only when they're about me." I faced Danielle again as she put the headphones on and stood in front of the microphone.
"Ready?" Justin asked her to which she nodded and he began playing the track. She began fidgeting while she waited a few seconds and then started singing.
My hands, your hands tied up like two ships
Drifting weightless, waves try to break it
I'd do anything to save it
Why is it so hard to say it?
My heart, your heart sit tight like book ends
Pages between us written with no end
So many words we're not saying
Don't wanna wait 'til it's gone
You make me strong
I'm sorry if I say I need you
But I don't care, I'm not scared of love
Cause when I'm not with you, I'm weaker
Is that so wrong?
Is it so wrong that you make me strong?
Think of how much love that's been wasted
People always try to escape it
Move on to stop their heart breaking
But there's nothing I'm running from
You make me strong
I'm sorry if I say I need you
But I don't care, I'm not scared of love
Cause when I'm not with you, I'm weaker
Is that so wrong?
Is it so wrong?
So, baby, hold on to my heart
Need you to keep me from falling apart
I'll always hold on
Cause you make me strong
I'm sorry if I say I need you
But I don't care, I'm not scared of love
Cause when I'm not with you, I'm weaker
Is that so wrong?
Is it so wrong?
I'm sorry if I say I need you
But I don't care, I'm not scared of love
Cause when I'm not with you, I'm weaker
Is that so wrong?
Is it so wrong that you make me strong?
I'm sorry if I say I need you
But I don't care, I'm not scared of love
Cause when I'm not with you, I'm weaker
Is that so wrong?
Is it so wrong that you make me strong?
"Awesome!" Justin beamed when the track stopped, "Come here and we'll play it back and fix anything you feel we need to."
She took off her headphones and walked into the room as casually as she walked out. When she saw the look on my face, however, she smiled shyly and looked down at her feet - kind of like the way she does when I tell her I love her. I went to stand up so she could sit down as she made her way over to us since there were only two chairs in the room, but she shook her head. She sat herself down on my lap and I chuckled, wrapping my right arm around her waist and letting my left arm rest across her stomach as she swung her legs over the arm rest and laid her head on my shoulder. She began lightly tracing my angel wing tattoo while Justin played the track with her vocals on it and I could feel her shaking the chair as she moved her leg to the beat.
"Any changes you'd like to make?" Justin asked when it was over.
She lifted her head and asked, "Can you overlap things here or would I need to sing it again over the part?"
"I can do it here," he smiled, "What are you thinking?"
"The very last repeat of the chorus over the last two words of the line before," she answered before singing, "Is it so wrong that you make- I'm sorry if I say I need you." Justin made the adjustments and replayed that portion of the song until the end and she squealed, "Perfect!"
"So you think it's good to go as is?"
"I know it is," she smiled proudly.
"Wow. One shot and it's album ready. That's impressive. Don't ever let her get away from you, man," he chuckled, looking at me.
I smiled, "I wouldn't dream of it," kissing her cheek.
~
"How about we do A Little Too Not Over You next and then we'll be done for today?" Justin suggested. I felt Danielle tense up, but she reluctantly agreed. "We don't have to of you don't want to," he added sympathetically, "If you need a break, we can call it a day right now."
"No, it's fine," she laughed nervously, "I'm gonna have to do it eventually. I just didn't think I was going to get this worked up about it is all, but I can do it." She went to stand up but I held her down.
"I know what you were feeling when you wrote it," I said quietly before she had the chance to speak, "I felt the same way when I wrote Let Her Go during that four months too and as hard as it is for you to sing it, it's not easy to watch you fall apart because of it either. But that doesn't mean it doesn't deserve to go on this album."
She looked at me and asked in a whisper, "Will you go with me? I just...I need you."
Her voice cracked and she looked down, obviously not wanting Jared or Michael to catch her crying on camera. I picked her up and stood up, setting her in the chair before kneeling on the floor in front of her. I took her face in my hands and wiped her cheeks with my thumbs before pulling her forward and kissing her.
"If that will make you feel more comfortable, yes," I told her. She nodded slightly and I took her hand pulling her up and into the recording booth with Michael following quietly behind us.
"Whenever you're ready," Justin said while she put her headphones back on. She faced the microphone and I stood behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist and resting my chin on her shoulder. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself so her voice wasn't shaky during recording.
"Okay, go," she told Justin.
~
"Alright," Justin said after she finished recording, "I think we're done for the day. We'll listen to playback when you're ready, okay?" he asked Danielle to which she nodded in response, leaning against me.
"Actually," I said while I held her closely, "I think we should record Why Don't You Love Me."
"It's already on your album though..." Danielle trailed off, clearly confused.
"I know, but that's with Ryan and Demi singing. I think we should put you and me singing on your album. It could be like a bonus track," I suggested.
She shrugged, "I'm down."
"Okay," Justin nodded, "We'll record that and then we'll be done for today." I grabbed a pair of headphones and put them on, turning back and facing Danielle as we stood in front of the microphone. "Ready?" Justin asked us. We nodded and he started the track. I kissed her cheek quickly and she looked down, smiling as I began singing my part.
I pulled out my phone as Danielle was singing the second verse and made an Instagram video of her. She wasn't paying attention to anything but singing, so she didn't realize I'd even recorded anything until after the song was over and she started getting notifications from Twitter.
@nashoverstreet: She makes me look so bad
She laughed, "Thank you, but now I have to get payback." She took her phone out of her pocket and went to Twitter. She tapped the new tweet button, opened her camera, and we took a selfie before leaving the room. As we were listening to playback, I got a notification from Danielle and smiled at her.
@MissDanielle137: These are the faces of two very tired but excited people @nashoverstreet
~
After we made the unanimous decision that the track was ready for the album, we left the studio, saying goodbye to Angie, Jared, and Michael as well. It was pretty late and on the ride home, I was holding Danielle's hand and felt her grip loosen. When I got to a stop sign, I looked at her and realized she had fallen asleep. I chuckled as I turned into our apartment building's parking lot. I quietly got out of the car and went to the passenger side door. I carefully unbuckled Danielle's seatbelt and put her bag in her lap before reaching back in and picking her up. I closed the car door and she stirred a bit, but luckily didn't wake up. When I made it to our bedroom, I laid her on the bed and changed into my pajamas. I looked at the girl sleeping on the bed and knelt down on the floor next to her.
"Danielle," I whispered, kissing her shoulder. She groaned quietly and turning with her back facing me, making me chuckle. "I know you're tired, babe, but you need to change your clothes. You know you hate sleeping with those shorts on." She groaned again before sluggishly getting off of the bed, getting her pajama shorts out of the dresser drawer, picking the shirt I had worn that day up off the floor, and going into the bathroom to change. When she came back out, I raised my eyebrows at her, "You know I wore that today, right?" She nodded, still standing in the doorway of the bathroom. "So why are you wearing it to bed?"
"It smells like you," she said quietly. I couldn't help but smile at her as she made her way back across the room.
"You know what else smells like me?" I asked when she stopped at the edge of the bed. She looked down at me as if to tell me to go on and I pulled on the hem of my shirt so she landed on top of me and replied, "Me." She giggled and yawned, rubbing her eyes.
"You're comfortable," she sighed, nuzzling her face into my neck, making me chuckle. "Will you sing to me?" she asked.
"What song?"
"Let Her Go."
I cleared my throat quietly, "Are you sure you don't want me to sing a different song?"
"Hey, I had to record A Little Too Not Over You today," she sassed sleepily.
I rolled my eyes and grinned, squeezing her waist a little and started to quietly sing to her. After the song was over, she rolled off of me and pushed herself as close to me as she could get. I kissed the top of her head as she drifted back to sleep.
"Morning, sleepy head!" I squeaked happily when he walked into the room after waking up, giving him a hug. He grunted quietly, not hugging me back and I frowned, letting go of him. "What's got you in a bad mood?" I asked, receiving no answer. He sat on the edge of the couch, putting his head in his hands. I sighed, plopping down onto the chair across from him. I didn't know why he was upset, but it was clear that it was something I had done.
It had been about 10 minutes and he still hadn't said a word to me and that was when I knew I was going to have to get annoying. I slid off of the chair and crawled the short distance to the couch. I laid down on the floor and scooted back so my head was between his feet.
"Are you gonna talk to me yet?" I asked, looking at him. He finally moved his hands and looked down at me for a moment before shaking his head. I quickly jumped up before he could leave the room, sitting on his lap and telling him in the most serious tone I could manage, "Well, that's too bad because I'm not moving from this spot until you do." He sighed, moving back so he was completely sitting on the couch. Even though he was mad, he still didn't want me to fall and get hurt. "What's wrong?" I questioned, earning a shrug. "I can sit here all day, Jamie. You, however, can't because you have a photoshoot to go to in-" I looked over at the clock, "-two hours. So talk."
5 minutes later, he was still refusing to speak and I was starting to get more agitated with every second that passed. I let out a frustrated sigh and climbed off of him, walking to the door and leaving our apartment. I made a sharp right and just walked into Danielle's place, not even thinking about knocking.
"Uh, come in?" Nash looked over at me in confusion.
"Where's Danielle?" I asked.
"Why?"
I sighed, "I've been trying to get Jamie to talk for the past 20 minutes, but he won't speak to me!"
"She doesn't feel well, so she went back to sleep..."
"Well, go wake her up!"
"Okay! Okay!" he exclaimed, jumping up and rushing into their bedroom. I heard Danielle whine and I'll admit I felt bad about waking her up, but I needed answers. Nash came back out of the room, pulling Danielle along with him. He let go of her hand when they reached where I was standing, but she kept moving, shuffling past me and out of the apartment.
-Jamie-
"Jamie Christian Follese!" Danielle shouted groggily as she burst through the door, making me jump, "You better have a damn good reason for not talking to Katia!"
I truthfully wasn't really mad at her; just disappointed.
"I don't know why you're ignoring her and I'm too tired to care," she continued loudly, "But I swear on my career that if you don't tell her everything that is going on in that small, small brain of yours, everything we saw on Criminal Minds last night will seem like a fucking picnic compared to what I will do to you." She left just as annoyed as she came in, leaving me to wonder what the hell just happened.
-Katia-
"He's all yours," Danielle stated plainly, walking back inside the apartment. She didn't bother looking at Nash or I, she just trudged over to the couch and grabbed a pillow, throwing it on his lap and laying down to watch TV.
"Thank you," I mouthed to him as he began playing with her hair. He smiled and nodded slightly before I left the apartment. I stood in front of my door for a minute, taking deep breaths before finally mustering up the courage to walk inside. Even though I was hoping whatever Danielle said to him worked, I was beyond nervous about why he was so upset with me. I quietly entered my apartment, only to find Jamie was no longer sitting on the couch. I heard the refrigerator door close and Jamie talking to himself.
"Quit being a dick, Jamie," he whispered, unaware I was in the next room, "She loves you and you love her. There is no reason you can't talk to her about this."
I heard him start walking toward where I was, so I opened the door and closed it again so he would think I just came back. As soon as the door shut, I turned and my eyes met his. I stared, suddenly finding myself unable to talk. He wasted no time, however, quickly walking toward me and embracing me in the tightest hug I've ever gotten in my life. I hesitantly hugged him back, but not nearly as enthusiastically as I had half an hour ago.
"I am so, so, so, so, so sorry," he started rambling immediately after letting go of me, "I know I shouldn't have, but your Twitter was still logged in on my computer and I didn't mean to look and I don't know why I did but I did and I don't understand why people are saying those things about you and then a box fell out of the medicine cabinet and y-you promised me that you wouldn't hurt yourself anymore, Katia, you promised and I know I shouldn't have taken my feelings out on you the way I did, but yo-you promised," he finished in a whisper, his voice breaking. As shocked as I was about him finding out, it absolutely broke my heart hearing and seeing how devastated he was.
"Jamie," I shuddered, "Sit down." He looked like he was about to pass out and he just fell onto his knees right where he was standing. I sat down in front of him and took his hands in mine, holding them tightly.
"You p-promised," he stuttered quietly, his voice shaky.
"I know I did, Jamie, and I'm sorry - I really am - but I couldn't stop myself," I mumbled, "Nothing I do is ever good enough for them and I just wanted to feel better."
"B-but you were doing s-so well."
I smiled sadly, "No, I wasn't, Jamie. I was just really good at hiding it." I sighed, lifting the hem of my shirt and pulling down on the belt loop of my shorts, revealing a mess of both old and new cuts on the skin covering my hip bone. He gently held my hip and ran his thumb across the uneven skin, frowning.
"Y-You promised," he repeated for the fifth time, sniffling and finally looking up at me.
"I know," I whispered. I took his face in my hands and wiped his cheeks. I shuffled a bit so I was now sitting in his lap, laying my head on his shoulder and lightly drawing circles with my fingers on his lower back.
"Why do you believe them?" he asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence, finally able to speak without stuttering.
I didn't say anything - not because I was afraid he wouldn't like my answer, but because I genuinely didn't have one. I don't know why I let people's rude comments get to me. I try not to, but I can't help it. I suppose it's kind of like an addiction or a force of habit in that way. No matter what I do to try and get away from it, it always finds a way to creep back into my mind.
"It's not true," he said, holding me closely, "Every single word of it isn't true. You are the most beautiful and funny and talented and passionate person I've ever met and I don't understand why people can't see what I do. They don't get to see the way your eyes light up when your favorite song comes on the radio and they don't get to watch you dance along to it like I do. They don't get to see how your smile puts me in a good mood after a long day of working in the studio and they don't get to feel the way you hug me every day when I walk through the door. They don't get to hear how contagious your laugh is and they don't get to see that no matter how bad the joke was, everyone in the room laughs when you do because of it. They don't understand how much I love you because what happens out there is nothing compared to what happens inside of these walls."
I'm sure he could have rambled on and on about why he loved me, but I'd heard enough. I moved back to look at him and smiled slightly.
"I love you, Jamie," I told him.
"I love you, Katia," he said, kissing me, "So much."
Suddenly, we heard our phones go off simultaneously and recognized it as our Twitter notifications. We typically would have ignored them during a moment like this, but when they kept going for a couple minutes after, we gave in out of curiosity. We stood up and walked over to the couch, sitting down and grabbing our phones off of the coffee table, going to Twitter. My notifications were blowing up with apologies and words of encouragement, as were Jamie's, but Danielle's Twitter handle was in front ours. Jamie tapped a tweet and it was a reply to something Danielle had tweeted with a video attached.
@MissDanielle137: Things I'm seeing daily are not sitting well with me and everything I have to say was too much to type, so here.
Since our names were being mentioned in tweets, it was pretty obvious that the video was about us, so Jamie went into the bedroom to get his laptop so we could watch it. Once on Twitter, he went to Danielle's page and clicked the YouTube link in her tweet. When the page loaded, Danielle was wearing the same clothes we just saw her in, sitting on the floor, and leaning against the couch.
"I'm too sick to be making this video," she muttered, "But whatever. It needs to be done." She sighed, attempting to collect her thoughts, "Hey, guys. I know I hardly make videos anymore, but I needed to film this right now even though I'm not feeling well because quite honestly, I'm getting tired of all the bullshit I've been seeing on Twitter lately. I'm sorry if this is like, 20 minutes long because I could literally go on about this forever and I can't be bothered to edit it. Anyway, I wanted to do kind of like an interactive thing, so let's just get into it." She took a drink of her orange juice before going on, "I want you to go to your Twitter page and find the last thing you tweeted about Jamie and Katia. Now, I want you to read that tweet - in your head, out loud, to your teddy bear; I don't care - and I want you to determine whether that tweet is positive or negative. If it's positive; Congratulations, this video isn't about you because you're a decent fucking human being. If it's negative; Stay put because we need to have a little chat. I want you to read that tweet again and ask yourself: 'If I was dating someone famous, would it make me feel good to see someone say this about me?'. If your answer was yes, leave now because you are a fucking liar and I am not gonna deal with whatever ignorant comments you feel the audacity to think I give a shit about. If your answer was no, then why the hell are you saying those things to Kat? Like, I just-" she paused, taking a breath to calm herself. "I don't understand. I really don't. And I don't know if she's going to watch this and if she does, she's going to kill me for saying this, but oh well. If you've never had to watch your best friend relapse or break down and cry until she can't cry anymore, I genuinely hope you never have to because that shit is the most heartbreaking thing I've ever experienced. And as much as it annoys me to admit it, I know that this video isn't going to change some people's minds or make them stop, but if you get anything out of this, please just try to understand that she doesn't deserve all this - neither of them do. Katia is one of the most amazing and ridiculously funny people I know and she is also a very talented drummer and I am honored to have her play for my album. I can only hope that one day, you'll realize how happy she makes Jamie and how much his confidence has improved because of her. I don't think I've ever met a couple that love each other as much as those two do and I just want everyone to be able to see that." She smiled and ended off the video, "I guess that's really all I have to say on the matter for now. Thank you so, so, so much to everyone who has been so supportive of not just myself during the making of this album, but also of the band and their music and our relationships. I'll try to maybe film like, a cover or a Q&A or do a Twitcam or something soon, but until then, I'll see you on Twitter." She blew a kiss and the video ended and Jamie and I kinda just sat there speechless for a moment.
"I don't know whether I want to kiss her or kill her," I laughed quietly after a couple minutes.
"How about we kiss her, then kill her?" Jamie suggested, grinning evilly. I smirked and he set his computer on the table in front of us before standing, pulling me up with him, and we went over to her apartment. We walked in and she looked at us, smiling sheepishly and standing as we made our way to her. I gave her a smile and pulled her into a tight hug.
"Thank you," I said quietly.
"I love you," she smiled into my shoulder before pulling away.
"You know," Jamie said, wrapping his arms around her, "We originally planned to come over here and kill you, but I think we just silently agreed that it was better to keep you around. Not everyone would do what you did for us, and I love you very much."
"I love you too, Jamiebear," she giggled.
"Plus, Nash would have our heads if anything happened to you on our watch," he chuckled.
"Damn right, I would," Nash laughed, walking into the room.
~
-Danielle-
*Saturday; 10pm*
"Guys!" Jenna called from the living room, "It's about to come on!" Nash and I rushed into our living room, gave everyone their drinks, and sat down on the couch, waiting for the show to start. A few minutes after the introduction, the show cut straight to their one-on-one interview with me.
"Is that really what I sound like?" I accidentally asked out loud.
Nash chuckled and kissed the side of my head, "I think you sound cute."
"Yeah, you better," I mumbled, laughing quietly. Next came Jenna's interview, then Katia's, Caity's, Maren's, Cameron's, Ryan's, Jamie's, Ian's, MacKenzie's, and finally, Nash's.
"Hi," he smiled awkwardly, "I'm Nash Overstreet and I am the guitarist for Hot Chelle Rae."
"Tell me about your relationship with Danielle," Angie told Nash from off camera. His face almost lit up when she said my name, kind of like mine does when someone mentions him. I could hear the smile in Angie's voice, "You love her?" I smiled, laying my head on Nash's shoulder and squeezing his hand. He kissed the top of my head and pulled me closer to him.
He smiled and nodded slightly, "I love her. I don't know how else to describe it. When I wake up every morning and her face is pressed against my neck, I can't see myself with anyone but her. She makes me fall more in love with her every day and I don't think she's ever going to stop. That girl never ceases to amaze me and I hope that this album gives her everything she could ever want because she deserves the world." I smiled again, quickly wiping a tear off of my cheek and lifting my head to look at him.
I kissed his cheek and whispered, "I love you."
"I love you more," he replied quietly, kissing my forehead.
-Nash-
"I understand it took quite the effort to get her to be your girlfriend," Angie laughed quietly.
"She's stubborn, that girl," I chuckled, "But after realizing just what she went through in her last relationship, I really don't blame her. I have her now and that's all that matters."
The show cut to Angie asking Danielle, "Do you ever regret not agreeing to be Nash's girlfriend earlier?"
She laughed, "If you asked me that a couple months into the relationship, I probably would have said yes, but I honestly don't."
"Why not?"
"He fought for me," she replied, smiling, "And that's not something I'm used to." She took a moment to think before continuing, "Every day, he's showing me that not every relationship has to be like what my last one was. He's taught me that it's okay to argue and it's okay to have days where we absolutely cannot stand each other because at the end of the day, I love him and he loves me, you know? Like, you can do everything to convince yourself that you love someone, but if you're scared to even be in the same room as them, that's not something you should be putting yourself through - and it took me a very long time to understand that. Being in this relationship and just seeing how Nash is with me has taught me that no matter how many times someone tells you they love you, if they're not doing anything to prove it, they don't. I think the most important thing he's done for me isn't buying me anything or writing me a song - I think the most important thing Nash has done is show me that I don't have to be scared to fall in love again," she smiled, "And I can finally say I'm not."
The show went to a commercial and the group let out an "Awe!" I chuckled, holding Danielle tighter and kissing her cheek.
"I love you," I smiled when I pulled back.
"Oh, I know," she smirked, "How could you not after that speech? I think I just won girlfriend of the year right there." Everyone laughed and she smiled proudly, laying her head back on my shoulder.
~
Near the end of the episode, there was a scene of Danielle staring at herself in the mirror before our album release party. By this time, she was sitting straight up with her head tilted slightly, watching the TV carefully and it was very obvious she didn't know they were filming her at the time.
We heard a voice over of Danielle saying, "You always hear about girls hearing or reading these awful things about themselves and it's like, 'They don't know me. How can they be saying these things?'"
She nearly choked on her breath before she got up and quickly rushed out of the room without a word, but none of us followed her. Partly because it was clear she needed time to come up with what to say about what was coming, but mostly because we wanted to know why she didn't want to be in the room when we found out what exactly that was. The screen cut to her and she was smiling sadly.
"And the thing is... There comes a point when it becomes too much. I know there are going to be people who watch this and think 'Yes! What I said got to her!', but I don't think they realize that calling someone fat or ugly or worthless isn't something to be proud of," she shook her head. "It's hard-" she paused and cleared her throat, looking down at her hands and you could tell she was trying not to cry before she continued, "It's hard looking at a fan and telling them not to let comments from people who don't know them get to them when I can't even do it myself."
There was silence for a moment before we heard Angie ask carefully, "Does it effect the way you feel when Nash calls you beautiful and things like that?"
She took in a shaky breath and wiped her cheek, smiling sadly again and barely nodding, "Yeah... There are some days when I look in the mirror and I absolutely hate what I see, you know? And I don't understand why a guy that could have literally any girl he wanted would want someone like me. I can't put on any given outfit and convince myself that I look good in it because I don't see a nice body or nice skin or nice hair or anything. I look at myself in the mirror and all I can think about is why I let myself eat so much that day or why I let myself buy a dress or a shirt that clearly doesn't suit me. And I hate feeling the way I do about myself. I hate it. I'm not this 5'9'', 100 pound, skinny model and it's always in the back of my mind that he's going to want that one day and leave because I can't give it to him. And that absolutely terrifies me."
The episode ended not long after and we all just sat there in shock.
"Wow," Ryan whispered after what felt like two hours of silence.
"I can't believe I didn't know," I muttered, covering my face with my hands and leaning back against the couch.
"We didn't know because she didn't want us to," Jamie sighed, "In case you guys didn't notice, she's really good at hiding her feelings."
I quietly excused myself, getting up and going to look for Danielle. I finally found her in our bedroom, sitting on the floor in front of the mirror, leaning against the bed. I sat down in front of her so she couldn't see herself anymore. She opened her mouth, but I didn't give her the chance to talk.
"Maybe I don't understand why body image is so important to you and maybe I don't understand why people want to make your life miserable because of it," I told her. "But what I do understand is why I think you're beautiful and it's not because I love you because even if I didn't love you, you would still be the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Maybe your hair doesn't cooperate some days and maybe your skin has a few bumps here and there and maybe your stomach isn't as flat as you want it to be, but so what?" She looked down and I took her face in my hands, making her look back at me before continuing, "Maybe you're not perfect, but you're perfect to me and I am gonna do everything I can to help you realize that, okay?" She nodded slowly and her eyes started to get watery and I think that's when I realized she's not as strong as she looks. I pulled her onto my lap and just held her as she cried, knowing that was all she really needed right now.
~
Around 15 minutes later, she ended up crying herself to sleep, so I picked her up carefully and laid her on the bed. I left the room for a moment to see if everyone was still here and they were.
"Is she okay?" Caity asked upon seeing me come back into the room.
I shrugged, "She's getting there."
"Where is she?" Ian asked, his concern very obvious.
"Sleeping," I answered, sighing, "She needs it. I think we all do." Everyone was quick to agree and made their way to their own apartments. I locked the door behind them and went back to my room. I saw Danielle had buried herself in the blanket and chuckled at how she had only woken up for that reason. I climbed under the covers and held open my arms slightly when I realized she was still awake.
"Come here, babe," I whispered. She immediately scooted into my arms and I held her closely. She sniffled quietly and I said, "Danielle-" She cut me off, obviously knowing what I was going to say.
"I'm not cut out for this life, Nash," she said, rolling onto her back, "And your career is just taking off and you don't need some broken girl who can't handle a little criticism holding you back."
"Danielle," I stated firmly, "A little criticism is telling you something doesn't work in one of your songs, not calling you fat or worthless. That's not criticism, that's being an asshole. You can't give up on everything you've been working for just because a few people try to keep you from doing it." She looked at me for a moment before sighing and rolling back on her side and laying her head on my chest. "I love you," I said quietly.
"I love you, too," she mumbled just before falling asleep again.
