Being brave doesnât mean you arenât scared. Being brave means that you are scared, really scared, badly scared, and you do the right thing anyway.
Coraline, Neil Gaiman (via bookish-nerd-girl)
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@legionsend
Being brave doesnât mean you arenât scared. Being brave means that you are scared, really scared, badly scared, and you do the right thing anyway.
Coraline, Neil Gaiman (via bookish-nerd-girl)
finnxbvlor:
âIâm just gonna come out and say it, I wanna know âWhat is this?â âWhat are we doing?â [It seemed almost out of left field this conversation was coming up.] I like you Thomas. I really do. But I feel like as much as we like each other and the connection is there, I want more. I just donât know if youâre in for the same reasons I am. Like the whole Dom/Sub thing. Thatâs cool and fun for a little while. But I want love. Iâm getting to a point where I one day do wanna have a family.â [He was concerned and had every right to be. Was their relationship only ever gonna be sexual? Was it gonna go further? Would Thomas ever âloveâ Fergal? Or let alone fall in love with the Irish man.] âI just want clarity Tom. I want this to work. I just wanna know what direction itâs going in and how to begin preparing for my future. I know it seems like a lot right now but itâs been weighing on me for days now.â
*The temperature in the room seemed unbearably hot right now. And Thomas knew for a fact that no one touched the thermostat. With a finger, he tried to loosen the collar of his shirt, but it didnât help. Fergal was asking... a lot... And yet, he understood. They were both not the youngest anymore and, fuck, Thomas had been engaged before, which was a clear testament that he was ready to start a family as well, that he wanted to. The question was just: with whom.*
You asked me to be your boyfriend, remember? And... and thatâs what I am to you, with all it entails. Otherwise, I wouldnât have said yes. But this falls nicely into place with what I wanted to ask you, actually. But I should, somehow at least, answer your question first.
*He swallowed. Somehow, two tattooed hands found two with no ink but no less strength to hold. Then, he looked straight into those blue eyes that doomed him.*
Do I love you? No. Not yet. Itâs too early for that and I was too deeply hurt to throw around such terms lightly. But... please listen. But! I like you. Of course, the sex is great and I like to shape and push you, but fuck, I wouldnât have agreed to some kind of relationship, no matter how loose, if I wouldnât like you on a whole other level as well. I donât love you yet, but I want to invest the time it needs for me to be able to say these words to you. I want to get there because I KNOW that we can get there. However...
*Now to his question.*
Being with someone, possibly forever, is big. And I need to know from you: are you feeling ready to face this? Spend the rest of your life with another man and all the consequences, repercussions and, yes, the hatred that you could face because of this? Do you feel ready to come out with your sexual and romantic preferences? Iâm asking not today. Or tomorrow. But if I let my heart decide what it so obviously yearns for, I need to know that I wonât have to hide anything just because we are of the same gender.
Next Step | Thomas & Fergal
[Fergal arrived shortly after his text to Thomas using his key that he had given him to let himself inside. Fergal was dressed in some black workout shorts with a black shirt and some vans to match.] âHey, anybody home? Tommy?â [Fergal was on the lookout for his new found âloverâ?]
@legionsend
[Fergal walked inside the house to see his boyfriend standing right there. He almost jumped a little at how close he was there to the door.] âWoah, you scared me there Lad.â [he said as he leaned in for a kiss.] âCome sit, I wanna talk to you.â
Sorry.Â
*Automatically, Thomas stepped back, not far enough to not get his kiss though. He wasnât sure what his nerves were doing here exactly. Was this all still Leeâs doing? Kayleighâs even, maybe, possibly? Whatever it was, he tried his best to not put Fergal on the same level as them. He had the favour of the doubt, still.*
*With a huff, he let himself fall down on the sofa, too tense to lean back. With narrow and cautious eyes he looked at his boyfriend, his lover, his little project, hoping that it wouldnât slip through his fingers this very minute.*
Shoot. Or do you want me to implode from tension?
Next Step | Thomas & Fergal
[Fergal arrived shortly after his text to Thomas using his key that he had given him to let himself inside. Fergal was dressed in some black workout shorts with a black shirt and some vans to match.] âHey, anybody home? Tommy?â [Fergal was on the lookout for his new found âloverâ?]
@legionsend
*This time, something was wrong, he could feel it. Or was it just his paranoia? He who shall not be named surely left some deep cuts in Thomasâ trust⊠Thus, when he heard the key turn in the lock and saw the door swing open, the Dutchman was immediately on his feet to greet his boyfriends, dreading the news the other might have. Almost immediately when the door opened, he was standing right in front of the Irishman, raising a hand.* Right here, as always...
Text @ Fergal
finnxbvlor:
Ferg: See you soon.
*this time, something was wrong, he could feel it; or was it just his paranoia?; he who shall not be named surely left some deep cuts in Thomasâ trust...; thus, when he heard the key turn in the lock and saw the door swing open, the Dutchman was immediately on his feet to greet his boyfriends, dreading the news the other might have*
Text @ Fergal
Thomas: Can I ask you something serious?
@finnxbvlor
Ferg: Yeah, Iâm home actually. Or as a matter of fact, Iâll go to you. I have a key! :)
Thomas: Wonder where you got that one from. ;)
Text @ Fergal
Thomas: Can I ask you something serious?
@finnxbvlor
Ferg: I wanna talk to you in person. This canât be done over the phone.
Thomas: Do you want me to stop by? I have time.
Text @ Fergal
Thomas: Can I ask you something serious?
@finnxbvlor
Ferg: Of course. Whatâs up?
Thomas: You wanted to talk, so shoot.
Sooooo, ummmâŠ..I got something I wanna ask you.
@legionsend
What a coincidence, I just sent you a text because... we have to talk.
Text @ Fergal
Thomas: Can I ask you something serious?
@finnxbvlor
finnxbvlor:
âYes Sir.â He said as he felt the man swat his hand from grabbing the tattooed mans crotch. He knew he was treading a fine line by not asking for permission but it was almost as if he knew it would strike a nerve with Thomas which made him a little more aggressive. He liked it a lot. Fergal began to disrobe before he was completely stalk naked just for a viewing âAll for you sir.â He said as he walked over to the bed. It seemed as if the more he was around Tom, the more he was getting used to and becoming more comfortable with his new found sexuality.
He awaited the first move from his âmasterâ as he could already feel himself getting hard at the fact that he was just mere moments away from getting something he enjoyed, a rough night with his new lover. That was a term he was going to have to get used to using. Not that he minded it as he was the one after all to ask Thomas to be his. But little by little, he was determined to get him to come out of his shell.
A sudden outburst. Like of a young and wild foal. Prancing around, jumping, testing, running about. Fergalâs energy was truly refreshing. A puppy-analogy wouldnât work though. Fergal was no puppy, no genetically obedient and loyal animal. He did feel a lot more like a young steed, a foal that could grow up to become a gorgeous, loyal mustang. And he, Thomas, had the honor to put the ropes on the foal. And, bluntly put, to ride it.
If Fergal was a young steed though, what was Thomas? A grouching bear, strong and aggressive? Or a wolf, mysterious and vicious? Or something else completely? Was he simply human, seeking for control and might? That was on Fergal to decide in his perception.All Thomas knew that he DID seek control, but that he was also granting something to the person he controlled that he gave no one else around him.
âBetterâ, he acknowledged, walking over to the bed as well. Non-verbally, he indicated Fergal to bend over the edge of the bed to show off his assets even better. Come to think of it, he hadnât eaten ass in years. Hm... No, no, later maybe. So instead, he gave Fergal a brutal slap before bending down to growl into the manâs ear. âYou know, boy, you deserve some punishment for that boldness from before. Go! Get me those handcuffs you got me. And...!â, he added before Fergal could go to fulfill his demand, âI want to see you crawling!â
finnxbvlor:
A smile crept up on his face as he was shocked by the answer that he had given him followed by the immediate kiss. It was always adorable, at least in his eyes to see Thomas be just a little affectionate. âYou know how to make a man happy, donât ya?â Fergal asked him. For a few months now they had been kind of going back and fourth with the idea and now was a better time than ever. âI got one more gift for you, but you gotta follow me to the room first.â He said before grabbing Thomas hand and leading him to his bedroom.
As he approached the room, Fergal quickly turned Tom around and pressed him against the door of the bedroom to shove his tongue down his throat with a sloppy kiss. âSir, May I?â He asked as he reached down to grab a handful of Thomasâ groin before getting down on his knees. He was awaiting the approval before moving further in his sexual desire to be absolutely demolished.
âTheâ room? Well, there could only be one, right? Leaving Fergalâs rhetorical question unanswered, the tattooed man rose from the couch and followed his... Lover. Yes, he was still that. And even though this had been anything but ceremoniously and big and filled with oaths and whatnot, in this simple moment back on the couch, they had become more than that.
The turn Fergal gave the younger man was more of a twirl for the Dutchman and then he found the other's body pressed against his and the door in his back. He should smack Fergal right across the face for such cheekiness and boldness, but they were not at a stage in their sexual relationship yet where Fergal could not take it as potentially hurtful or degrading in a whole other way than he should. And yet, lessons had to be taught! Grabbing the manâs wrist, he stopped him before he could get a hold of what lay beneath gym shorts and boxers. âWhat did you do to earn the right for such bold actions and requests?â, he asked, eyes lowered at the man on his knees, keeping his crotch away from immediate grasp. âDonât tip-toe over the line, boy.â
âSo not to sound cheesy or anything, I got you a couple of things actually.â he said before motioning to the couch near them. âSo, I actually wanna explain to you the things I got for you. Some of these I had a hard time deciding on what I was going to get. Youâre quite the mysterious one.â he said letting out a laugh. He sat on the couch taking a deep breath before presenting the gifts. âFirstâŠ..is thisâŠ.â he said as he pulled some metal handcuffs out of the box. âThese are for you. You may use them however you like. They also have a key, itâs inside the bag.â It wasnât long before Fergal reached inside the bag again to pull the next gift out of the box. âItâs an picture. The real thing will be here in about a week or so.â It was a oil portrait of Totty Potato. Who was probably the most important thing, or at least one of the most important things in Thomasâ life. âI hope you like it.â he said taking a deep breath and a pause at the end of that sentence. It was time for the final gift. âUhâŠ.this one, I want you to open it yourself.â he said handing it to him. It was an envelope that looked like it contained some sort of card or letter which on the outside read, âTomâ.Â
Thomas assumed that his âguidelinesâ, as the other had put it, were accepted. Admittedly quite curious, he followed Fergal to his couch, shooing away a fluffy, white ball of wrath before sitting down as well. He accepted the handcuffs with a smirk. Not the first pair he held in hand, for sure. Not the first pair he had in this house either. But Thomas had a philosophy of not using the same toys on different of his âsubjectsâ so these would come in handy. Besides, the fact alone that Fergal brought them up was very suggestive.
Taking a close look at the picture, Thomas let out an amused grunt. âHey, Tots. This captures your essence perfectly, doesnât it?â He showed the substitute for the painting to the cat that sulkingly cleaned itself not far away, but the fluffball was unimpressed. âCretinâ, was Tomâs only response. Heâd love to hang that up, probably right above the bunny enclosure.
Putting the picture away, Thomas took the envelope. Looking at Fergal, he opened the thing. Why was this something special, it seemed to only contain a card. A usual Valentineâs card. Yet, the Irishman seemed a tad too nervous about it. Slowly lowering his gaze, Thomas flipped over the neatly written lines. Then a second time. Oh. Thatâs why...
It was... fitting, in a way. Thomas hadnât really gotten Fergal anything. Instead, he had invited him even more into his life, opening up more and more after the catastrophe that had been Lee. Fergal, on the other hand, had gotten him things. Silly, suggestive, but still right up Tomâs alley. And his last gift? Somehow, it tied everything together. Returning to his mute state from when he opened the door, the Dutch man only nodded before reaching out with a heavily tattooed hand to seize Fergal by his neck and draw him into a kiss. âSeems like I am officially not single anymoreâ, he muttered against the others lips.
finnxbvlor:
A puzzled look came on Fergalâs face. He had to ask himself âWhat just happened?â Before he realized what happened. He looked in his hand seeing a key was given to him. Was this really happening right now? Was Thomas really opening himself up to him right now? He took the key that was in his hand and stuck it in the keyhole before turning the key to open the apartment door. He walked in with a smile on his face, blushing everywhere. âFor a minute I was gonna kick your ass for slamming he door in my face before I was able to even say hello but this is so much better.â He smiled before walking up to his lover and planting a big kiss on his lips. âI think your gift tops my gift to you.â He said letting out a laugh as he wrapped his arms around the tattooed man. âI also think Valentineâs Day is pretty cheesy myself but any reason I can think to be with you is a good enough reason for me.â Where was this extra sap coming from? It didnât even matter, he was on cloud nine right now. But what did the apartment key mean? Was he welcomed any time? He needed clarification.
âReally quick though, so what are the guidelines of using this key? I donât wanna intrude on anything you donât want me to.â He said. Respecting boundaries is what it was about. He wanted to make sure both were on the same page.
He didnât have to wait for long. The distinct sound of a key turning in a lock was followed by his front door swinging open again. Apologetically, Thomas rose his hands and finally spoke again. âFor a moment, I even contemplated not even giving you the grin, but I didnât want to snub you on our first Valentineâs Day together.â One of many? Who knows? Feeling his lovers (?) arms around him, he equally wrapped his tattooed limbs around the man and drew him in even more. Hard exterior, that was Thomas. Softest core, that was also him.
Tilting his head to the side, Thomas scrunched his nose. His tongue flicked out to play with the pircing in his lip. âGuidelines... Well, if Iâm gone for longer - on tour or visiting the old land - I would like to know when you are in here. Other than that, please do not, ever, let the front door open. I donât want Totty or the buns to get out and get lost or run over.â His hands slid down the muscular body he embraced, cupping that fine and well-proportioned ass. âOther than that, come and go as you please. You know me, I donât even get mad when you sneak in in the middle of the night and wake me. Just donât startle me itentionally. Not a big fan of pranks.â But Fergal wouldnât do that anyway. Quite the contrary. And the thought of sleeping and the Irishman feeling lonely and just stopping by to sneak into bed with him? It was... comforting.
âSo, what did you get me? Cheesy or not, I love presents.â
Valentine | Fergal & Tom
After a long loop on the road, Fergal had arrived back in Orlando, the place he called home just an hour before dropping off his belongings, taking a shower and getting ready to see the one person who he was anxious to see, Thomas. Quickly throwing on some cologne and some joggers and a T-shirt, Fergal was en route to spend his first Valentines Day not by himself in a very long time. After receiving word of his surprise by his lover? Boyfriend? He didnât know what they were at this point but that was besides the point. It wasnât log before Fergal was knocking outside of Thomas front door.
âItâs me. Happy Valentines Day!â He said as he had a few gifts in hand wrapped up. He knew he couldnât come empty handed. The question on his mind was more âWhat did Tom get for him?â And âWas it going to be something he would honestly appreciate?â
@legionsend
Thomas was never someone to think much about Valentineâs Day. It was a commercialized holiday, designed to sell flowers and chocolate and make men all over the world look back for not putting as much emphasis on the day as their mostly female loved ones did. Thomas had the opinion of cherishing the ones you are with, the ones worthy, every day of the year, not just of February 14th.
And yet, there was something, something he had wanted to give Fergal quite some time ago and never really found the right, well, time. It was ironic that this day the Dutch man gave no fucks about seemed to actually be the right time. Adhering to the Orlando weather, he thus opened the door shirtless with just some gym shirts and his baseball cap on. Giving Fergal a look up and down, he took all the man held in his hands from him and, instead, shoved a key into his hand. Then, without even a word spoken, he gave the Irishman a wide - the WIDEST - grin and closed the door. Locking it even!
Then, he waited patiently for the man on the other side to find out what this seemingly meaningless key in his hands meant.