Prelims for ObliCon
Its frustrating.very fristrating.
Today is Jan 6, my first school day for 2020. Yesterday, at church, I prayed to God to grant me a heart able to accept things even if things dont go my way and that I am able to learn from the experience and grow instead of being negative about it. So far, Im failing at that, obviously, which makes me more frustrated at how petty I am right now. I know i shpuld be thankful but I want to beat myself up at the same time.
And it feels like I should write it down somehow and express it and make myself realize through this drabble that I am okay and that its not the end of the world and that I did well given my circumstances when I took my prelims.
More than meeting the expectations of others, it is more hurtful when you fail to meet your own expectations specially when youre naturally hard on yourself. And I get it that I have no one else to blame but myself because I 'should' be happy, but the thing is, I am not. I feel disappointed and I feel like crying but I also know that I shouldnt. I feel so tormented and empty. And I know I shouldnt feel this way but I do even if Im trying to convince myself that I shouldnt.
Law school really has this charm of making you feel things and make you see youre best and worst days.
I hope tomorrow as I wake up, I feel renewed with a heart that is grateful, accepting and diligent.
