A Love Letter From My Daddy pt 1.Â
 I’ve always been a daddy’s girl. Always. My father has always loved me deeply. Always. About a year ago he was arrested during a manic episode. This was the first time he was aware he had Bi-Polar and needed to be medicated. That day clarified much of the turmoil I had experienced with my dad. I had been aware of his mental illness years before he had...and for a very long while I hated him for it. I felt betrayed that someone I loved so much, and someone I knew loved me so much, could be a completely different person and hurt me so deeply.Â
There were really dark times with my dad. But no matter what, he would always write me these long, beautiful, amazing cards for my birthday, valentines day and sometimes when I just when I needed some encouragement. I was looking through them today and I felt the need to share. Yes, my dad has this illness, yes there were truly dark times, but these letters remind me that that illness didn’t define who he was or his love for me. These letters remind me of the legacy he gave me, of poetry, of spirituality, of creativity and the gift of words. I hope they can be an encouragement to any of you who may love someone with a mental illness, or perhaps someone who needs to hear some words of love.Â
These letters are priceless to me and I believe my father’s words deserve to be shared. Here is the first letter:
“Dearest Most Precious Daughter,Â
Where does one begin with you! So special Jesus’ girl of favor. You’ve been with me the longest, and quite frankly it has been all my joy. Home-school was not the deciding factor of your life because God had his heart on you from day numero uno. He has prepared a bright, energetic, hard working, relentless achieving goal setting, pure motives gonna change many old people’s thinking girl. (No I didn’t forget your hotness in shape tanned yoga goddess girl, but being beautiful for you is a common as finding a grain of sand at the beach, you just got it all happening!). You have been my valentine for 25 years and for 25 years the name Rachel is and has been synonymous with that of a man so blessed that all are jealous of him. A man blessed to have a true lovely daughter, a man who had a life filled with joy and laughter and witty jargon from his pretty face, pretty heart dot dots.Â
Rachel, I can’t put into words the joy you are to me I am so fulfilled by watching the expression of your life. I am so proud of you in so many ways! You wont stop educating yourself, even though I gave you little help and little cash. You won’t stop pursuing your spirituality. You won’t stop being a friend even to those who drain you dry. You won’t stop believing in yourself (Steve Perry just crossed my mind!). You’ve never given up on encouraging us, your family even though we are imperfect. I respect you as a person and as an individual. You have very much depth of character and understanding with correct interpretations to situations. I haven’t mastered 1/4 of where you are beginning in this area. Such a paradox, but the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. (Don’t judge me, I know that’s prideful of me). But again, I am so proud of you.Â
It’s hard to tell you to go forward and pursue your dreams because you will do it anyways, cause that’s who Rachel is. But it’s never hard for me to encourage you with my love. There is nothing about you, or that you do that ever hinders me. I am deeply in love with you a love addict if you will, yeah I am a hopeless Rachel love addict, I will always be this way. You’re my cutie pie (made of semi sweet chocolate chips).Â
In many ways I can’t be much of a help to such an independent, free thinker like you. But time will show you how daily my love to God for you through heartfelt father love for you intercession will produce all things for you more than you think. Jesus will make “The Rachel Experiment,” prosper, and that melts my heart, because your life is so precious to me. You’re doing “all the things girls your age do,” but you’re doing it right. That’s so awesome! You’re so special!Â
Nothing is wrong with you, in fact everything is right with you....Do not think that I implied that something is wrong with you, my psychoanalyzing sweetheart. Just saying, good people are coming your way. Thank you Rachel for lighting up my life every time I see you or hear your voice. I can’t wait to hear you say what you’re up too. I miss you so often and so much you’re so busy. You are so blessed. I care so much for you, my little girl:
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