hi!! i just wanted to say i’m SO happy you linked your tumblr because i’m genuinely obsessed with hard to love 😭 your writing is incredible, the character work, the emotional tension, the way affection/violence/intimacy all blur together in the relationships feels so intentional and layered. i’ve been thinking about the characters nonstop lol.
i was especially curious about rhaenys’s self-image how much of the “pig/not pretty” perception comes specifically from aerion versus broader court/gender expectations? and on aerion’s side, does he actually believe the cruel things he says to her (“pig,” “whore,” etc.) or are those moments more about panic/control/resentment than genuine belief?
also i’m sooo curious about the sibling dynamics psychologically because they’re written in such a nuanced way 😭
was aerion more affected by rhaenys preferring daeron emotionally, or by daeron being her “first” in any sense? and is daeron actually aware of how much rhaenys idealizes him, or does he underestimate the emotional weight he has in her life?
i also wondered is rhaenys aware of how differently each brother perceives her, or does she mostly interpret their behavior at surface level?
one more because valarr fascinates me SO much as a contrast to the sibling dynamics 😭
how much does valarr actually understand rhaenys emotionally versus how much he thinks he understands her? if we got full valarr POV, would his perception of her be accurate, or is he also blinded/idealizing her in his own way?
and completely as an AU/what-if question: if rhaenys had been born male, do you think she would’ve become emotionally healthier overall or just self-destructive in different ways? also which relationship/dynamic in the fic do you think actually has the highest chance of surviving peacefully in another universe, and what would the happiest possible ending for each sibling/cousin look like individually?
Hi! I'm genuinely blushing at your complements—thank you so much! (I 'm realizing this answer is sooo long)
Rhaenys's self image is built off of the two main figures of her life—Daeron and Aerion because the majority of her life has been spent with them. Her want/need to look and behave like her brothers clashes with the expectations of court. I want you to imagine a sort of Wuthuring Heights isolation at Summerhall. Yes they have a sort of town/city life but Rhaenys spends most of her days in that castle so her own thoughts about herself are built off of the ones projected on her by her brothers. So in short, the self hatred mostly comes from Aerion but it's reinforced when she goes to court and sees people like Rosamund.
As much as this may or may not be shocking, Aerion doesn't believe in his words at all but he knows how to play with her heartstrings so yes, his comments are completely from the idea of control and possession. He wants to define Rhaenys and create her into his own image of a valyrian bride/princess(this will be crucial later on), and so he'll say whatever he wants to get her to conform to him. This follows with his anger at Rhaenys experiencing her firsts with someone else, even if it was just a kiss or literally her losing her maidenhead.
Daeron is pretty oblivious to everything and his own self esteem issues doesn't make it any better. He doesn't think anyone's capable of loving him or thinking he's handsome, and with how much he thinks Rhaenys is beautiful, he basically believes her to be way out of his league. His obliviousness drives her insane later with a certain Tyroshi princess.
Rhaenys doesn't really think much about her brothers until she basically starts making out with Daeron and them nearly doing the horizontal tango. She's not really good at catching hints and she'll realize each brother's perception of her is vastly different when it's too late.
There'll definitely be a whole Valarr POV sometime. I'd like to think Valarr had completely understood Rhaenys before, until it became a matter of him controlling her and owning her. He, unlike Rhaenys, knows about her brother's and their affections towards her so it's that knowledge coupled with him wanting her to be preggo so they can marry instead of him and Kiera. Now, he completely thinks he understands her. Valarr believes that she's softening for him and becoming a "duitful wife" figure—thus she is fully devoted to him—when she isn't at all. Outside of his rose colored glasses, they've literally haven't had real emotional/personal conversations in months other than him coming to her every night and expecting her be compliant and getting confused when she cries.
If Rhaenys was a dude, she'd probably be like Aemon but only hunt and have fun all day while probably being a rake 😆.
I think, if everything was perfect, Rhaenys and Daeron probably would be the best. He actually does understand her unlike Valarr and Aerion who both want to mold her into something they idealize.
The happiest ending, realistically, is if they all went their seperate ways. Rhaenys would be miserable with either one(maybe other than Daeron but he's drunk and sometimes) but she herself is restless and erratic. She can't settle down with Valarr and be his queen and give birth to 20 babies(even if she thinks she can), and Aerion would just be flat out abusive towards her when she refuses to comply(spoiler oops). Her best ending is if she just left, kinda like Egg, and lived her life out maybe in Dorne.
Thanks for the ask(sorry for the essay length responce)! I'm so happy to answer!
