An Open Letter To Tim Tebow
We’ve never met. We probably never will. You’re famous and play football sometimes and I’m not famous and I type words onto a computer screen sometimes.
I also make not-fat, no foam cappuccinos for upper class white people for roughly 32 hours each week.
So I hear you got dumped.
I’m sorry. I’m very, very sorry.
I don’t take broken hearts lightly. I hate sadness. I wish I could give every sad person in the world a hug and a bowl of ice cream and a puppy. Those things may not be able to fix broken hearts, but they sure can serve as a placebo while the healing begins.
I’ve had my heart broken a few times before. It sucks.
Never by a guy though. Guys don’t ask me out.
Rumor has it she broke up with you because you’re saving yourself for marriage and she couldn’t get past it.
She left you because she didn’t want to wait to have sex with you.
SHE LEFT YOU BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T WANT TO WAIT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU.
That’s crappy. That’s really, really freaking crappy.
I’m extremely happy for you.
Not because I’m some diehard fangirl who hopes you’ll somehow see this and think of me as a suitable replacement (regardless of what my mother says), but because from the bottom of my heart… you’re worth more than that.
You’re worth more than a girl who refuses wait for you.
See, I talk a lot about love on this internets thing. Which means I tend to get a lot of messages from people–mostly young girls–who are in relationships with guys who are pressuring them for sex. Some of them succumb, some of them don’t. Most of the time, they’re asking what I think about the situation, wondering if they should stay with them, and if having sex (when they really aren’t ready to) is actually such a bad thing.
You know what I tell them?
I can’t make their decision for them. It’s not my job, and honestly, it’s not my right.
I do, however, ask them a question.
“What are you settling for?”
Who are you with whom you love so much, that can’t love you enough in return to respect your boundaries?
Men worth being with don’t pressure their girlfriends into sex when they want to wait.
Men worth being with don’t force their girlfriends to do anything they are even slightly uncomfortable with. EVER.
That’s what makes him a man worth being with.
And maybe he has a history. Maybe he’s made mistakes. Maybe he’s had sex with 10 other girls before them. Maybe they’re not sure how to feel about that.
We mustn’t forget that who somebody was yesterday does NOT have to dictate who they choose to be today.
Regardless of who he’s been, and in light of who he’s becoming, if he loves her, he’s still going to wait for her.
Love isn’t angry, nor is it conceded or self-seeking.
Love is patient, and love is kind.
Some famous prisoner said that once. Maybe you’ve heard of him.
I think you’re worth more than a girl who isn’t wiling to wait for you.
I think you’re worth a girl who sees that and celebrates it.
You’re worth a girl who shares your passions and encourages them, who drives you to be a stronger man than you were yesterday, who would never ask you to compromise your beliefs, but challenges herself to keep you growing in them.
Love sees a greater need and lies down its own agenda.
I’m waiting like you’re waiting, and if your reason for waiting is anything like the reason I’m waiting, it’s because you know your body was created for a covenant and promise.
So of course you understand how when you’re single, and the days start to feel lonely, and you wonder if anyone will ever care for you like you hope they will, it’s tempting to forget why you’re so selective in the first place.
And let’s be real: It never sucks to get attention.
“What are you settling for?”
Perhaps I’m crazy, but I don’t want to settle for anybody. Not anymore.
I’m not talking about high and lofty expectations being met (nobody is perfect), but man, I just wanna be with someone who inspires me to be a better person each and every day. Someone who helps me to be a better friend, a better daughter, a better lover, a better fighter, a better everything.
Especially a better child of God.
God knows I need all the help I can get.
I know your heart is still hurting. No amount of double-spaced cliches and encouragement can make the sting go away. I only hope to let you know that I’m proud of you. Lots of us are, and those who aren’t at the very least darn sure respect you. Even if they’re too scared to admit it.
Till then… I’ll keep writing sometimes with the hope that somebody is listening.
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