Maybe it´s just my PMS but I´m feeling ALL the grief today and I´m spiraling.
The show is over. The fandom is very, very slowly going to fade away, it´s a painfully excruciatingly slow death. It´s slow and painful and sentimental. It feels like when you as a child could barely keep your eyes open but insisted on saying "Just ten more minutes, I don´t wanna go to bed yet"
Jane killed herself? She is a 16 year old girl who has been physically and mentally abused for all her life and then she commited suicide to end the cycle of abuse. She is dead. She is literally dead. She died alone, cold, abandoned, she never got the life she wanted, not for a single day.
Will is moving on and Mike is going to rot staying the same person he´s always pretended to be. He is not breaking out of the cycle, he will become a husk of his father- bitter, repressed and aching while Will is going to make it out. He´s moving to the big city, finally living his true self and expressing it as a whole, finding new love, community, acceptance and pride. Will is going to heal from the wounds, from the trauma and he will find himself, his true essence, he will get to know himself truly this time.
He´s gonna make it. Mike isn´t.
And this will haunt him for the rest of his life, forever. He will never heal. He will end up conforming to the suburban-nuclear-family-conservative-american-dream while forever yearning for what slipped away beneath his fingers, the life he could have had. He´s gonna drink his bitter coffee in the morning, mindlessly staring at the newspaper and he´ll move on to staring at the road ahead he´s driving on to staring at a computer screen for 8 hours in a cubicle to staring at the TV, all with empty eyes, fully checked out, knowing he will do this tomorrow and the day after and the day after for the rest of his life.
I know we never know the whole story of what happens after that, this is obviously just what they canonically implied. But the mere thought of it is horrible. And even if they find their way to each other, it´s still really fucked up. It´s fucking breaking my heart that they didn´t got together much much earlier, I am deeply grieving those excuriating and horribly painful years they spent repressing and hiding it, this is literally ripping my heart apart add tearing it into a thousant pieces. Year after year it´s not happening, time is flying and they can never get those years back, no matter what they do now.
Anyways. I´m very sad today, I think you can tell.