wow so the last time I posted an excerpt from my fic was in November huh. Not just last month like my head’s been saying this whole time.
Shoutout to my friends for continuing to affectionately shame me over this fact LOL
anyway. I haven’t touched New Beginnings 2.0 a whole lot, not until recently when I suddenly felt the urge to continue. Since that random night, I:
- Did line edits/made adjustments on the opening scene for the tenth time (the worst habit I have)
- fixed the ending of a scene that I hated
- created two OC’s. I wasn’t going to do OC’s in this story, but the way the plot was going, I realized that there was no avoiding it anymore.
One of the OC’s doesn’t have a name yet, but the other OC is a Saja. There was always one role in the story I knew I wanted to be carried out by a Saja, but the way I’m taking the story I felt a lot better making up a new Saja than using an existing one (and that is all I will say on that for spoiler reasons).
So, on that note, here’s the excerpt for this week:
“She meant what she said. Saja Erisin had joined the crew around the same time she had, resulting in a unique bond that held true, even now. He was her friend when she didn’t have anyone else on the ship she could go to, and in the first few weeks of their acclimation to ship life, they shared knowledge and helped each other wherever they could. They looked out for each other.”
@youcantrewind reminded me that I had not yet posted my fic line for the week, so here it is:
The force with which Riyola slammed her hands on the table propelled her to her feet, “Do you think endangering passengers is something I enjoy doing? I was doing what I had to, and so was Lenka.”
anyway I haven’t written anything new on this fic since starting this challenge so I may have screwed myself with this one—
Man, one week in and I already forgot about my challenge 😅 well, still got 30 mins before the week’s over so I’m not late yet!
here’s this week’s “holding myself accountable” excerpt:
“No, it’s alright. Today’s been…it’s a day, that’s for sure.” Lenka rubbed a hand over her face. It was an attempt to hide the tears that were starting to well up under her eyes, but even she knew concealing her emotions in front of a Saja was a futile task.
The tale of “New Beginnings” 2.0 (And my grand plan for reviving this blog)
Back in 2022/2023, I put out the first two chapters of a starcruiser fic called New Beginnings. It was my first time ever attempting a multi-chapter fic. (Okay second but I was 12 the first time so that doesn’t count)
Anyway. It scared the hell out of me. And because I was scared, I didn’t do it properly. Here’s what I mean:
Those who know me know that I’ve always been more comfortable writing scripts than writing prose. But the reality is those are two very, very different animals and need to be treated as such. When I first published New Beginnings, I wrote it like a script - and I even say so in the fic description. I think my exact words were “don’t take it too seriously” which was my way of saying “I’m intentionally not trying.” There was a little bit of spite in there - I was writing so much for my classes that I wanted something low pressure, and something where I was allowed to not care too much if it was bad. But in freeing myself, I actually constrained myself.
There was a story below the surface of New Beginnings, the one that I actually wanted to tell, but doing that meant approaching the piece in a completely different way, a way that I honestly did not think I could do. So I stopped. I never made it past chapter 2.
Earlier this year, I decided to give it another try. And this time I was going to put in actual effort to make this the story I wanted to tell.
I know it sounds like I’m being very hard on myself, and I don’t mean any of what I’m saying to be directed towards anyone but me. What I’m trying to get at here is that I sometimes need to remind myself to recognize when I’m standing in my own way. That yes, trying is scary, but half-assing it is even worse. And I know I’m talking about voluntary, fun work here, but it’s still good practice regardless.
So. All that being said, here’s the plan for keeping myself accountable and not letting this fic fall away again:
Every week, just once a week, I’m challenging myself to post something from the fic in progress. A line. Two lines. A paragraph if I’m feeling that spicy. But I have to post something. If I don’t, I give you, yes, you, permission to poke me, gently remind me, lightheartedly make fun of me, meme me, get my attention in any way you see fit. If I’m gonna get excited about this fic again, I think it’ll help if I bring you along with me.
So to start us off, here’s my first excerpt from “New Beginnings” 2.0 (now retitled “Our Lady H”)
“Oh, yes. As far as Chandrila Star Lines is concerned, we are on strike two.”
Lenka mulled over her Captain’s words, “and what happens if we reach strike three?”
Riyola took both of Lenka’s hands, raising them up to chest level and squeezing them tight, “We consider piracy.”
Another space friend delivering another perfect alignment with this audio 😌 Croy really does like to bring other people into his conversations and it shows:
I love these two a normal amount 😭😭😭. As chaotic as this last cruise was, I’m so glad I was able to see bits and pieces of their story play out (and then of course set it to the music of one my new favorite songs, which unironically fits them ✨). I was grinning and kicking my feet over these two 🥺.
I listened to an episode of the podcast Into A Larger World this morning. The guest, Nick, discussed how much of the public response to Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser was based on misconceptions about what the Starcruiser actually was.
"Calling the Galactic Starcruiser a hotel would be like calling a car a chair," he said. "You sit in it, sure. But that's not why you buy a car."
I've made a few TikToks of clips from my voyage on the Starcruiser, and every once in a while, someone leaves a comment on TikTok or on the reel version of it on Instagram, saying something along the lines of, "$6000 for this?"
I delete these comments. I don't feel like engaging with them. But there's a part of me that wants to say, "Of course not. This is a sixty-second video. Nobody paid that much for merely sixty seconds of just watching. What's the point of saying something like that? What do you get out of believing that you know everything you need to know about a two-day immersive experience from this silly little video I threw together in a futile yet necessary attempt to convey - to celebrate - even a fraction of what this experience meant to me and to everyone else who was a part of it?"
I don't have much footage of my time on the Halcyon. For the first six months of my Starcruiser journey, I was a show writer on the project. Playtests had only just begun, and photos and videos were forbidden. I couldn't tell anyone about this thing we were building together, how much love we were pouring into it, how much hope we had that the world would love it, too.
I then spent a year watching from afar while guests discovered the Halcyon. While they built relationships with the characters. While they realized just how much was always going on, just out of sight. While they ate the food and dressed to fit the world and came up with their own backstories. While they became the heroes of their own Star Wars story. And they loved it. They loved it. I marveled at the knowledge that there was fanfiction, there was fanart, there were return visitors making the journey again and again, the journey I truly never thought I would make once - especially not once it was announced that the ship would close.
My friend Shelby reached out to me, with literally two weeks warning, that they'd found a room. I dipped into my savings account. And, no, I didn't spend $6000. There were five people in our cabin; I spent less than $1300, even with the merchandise I couldn't help but grab. $1300 for a once in a lifetime opportunity to experience this show as a guest, to truly see what had come of it.
I was determined not to metagame. I would not ask the performers for anything, even though I knew most of them. I would not use my pre-knowledge to seek out fun moments - though of course I made sure that my party was looking in the right direction to see Chewbacca enter the dining room, 'cause that's just me being a good friend. I was ready to have fun. I expected to have fun.
I did not expect to be completely blown away.
I've said this before, and I'm sure I'll say it again. One of the most important things to me as a writer is that I create shows that not only are loved by the audience but also by the people involved in bringing the show to life. When I hear an actor laugh while reading a script I wrote, that fills me with joy. When a stage manager thanks me for making sure they have all the information they need on time, I feel like I've done something right. Back in 2018, when I got to bring my parents to see some of the work I'd done for the Incredible Tomorrowland Expo, one of the improv performers ran up to my dad, grabbed him by the arm, and said, "Did you know she's a writer?? You should be so proud!" - and I almost cried.
When I set foot on the Halcyon as a guest, I did not know that I was actually about to experience two days straight of love. Throughout that two day show, every very little thing that every operations crewmember and performer did screamed, "I love this! I love this! I'm giving it my all!" After a year and a half of nigh-on constant performances, through the exhaustion and the stress and the internet hate and the uncertainty about the future, they were still pouring everything they had, every ounce of love, into that show. And I felt that love washing over me in every moment.
It meant the most coming from the performers. Again, I didn't ask them for anything. I told them I would be there and that my crew and I were ready to play. I went in-character, as Shira the mechanic, prepared to pretend I didn't know them.
But they kept dropping hints that they knew me.
The first time I saw Lenka, my crew was already talking to her. My friend Andrew pointed me out, and said, "She's a mechanic." Without missing a beat, Lenka replied, "Yes, I remember, she helped fix the ship after the pirate attack a few months back. It's wonderful to see you again."
Good fortune put us in the right place and the right time to greet Gaya as she came onboard the ship (yay bridge training!). She smiled at me and my friend Shelby and said, "These two look familiar. Now what are you calling yourself these days?"
On the second day, when it came time for the heist, Raithe gave me a job I would have begged for (and, again, I didn't! I wouldn't!). He put his hand on my shoulder and whispered in my ear, "I know I can trust you. I know you understand what's going on here, possibly better than anyone."
And afterwards, when the heist was a success, when I'd handed the gem to Gaya, Raithe looked at me with actual tears in his eyes and thanked me.
And I said, my voice shaking, "I am so honored to have been a part of making this story."
That's a clip I do have. I'm so grateful to Justin, the man who filmed it and shared his footage with me afterwards (and to Shelby, Shannon, Lauren, Sean, Andrew, and Wendy for the photos and videos they took throughout the trip, too). As soon as the moment had passed, I'd already forgotten what any of us had said. It was truly that emotional. The performers understood why, and so did my crew. But the most incredible thing is that that moment meant something even to the people in the room who didn't understand the full meaning of my words. Three different strangers came up to me later that evening, separately, to tell me so - to thank me, even. One of them asked me if this was my first voyage.
"First as a guest," I replied.
This was the middle of August. I'm still riding the high of that show. I am normally a very anxious artist, full of so-called "imposter syndrome." But two days straight of love and validation and pure play will do something to your brain.
$6000 for this? What wouldn't I pay for this?
Even now - even today, September 28th, 2023 - as I type this blog post, the passengers on the final voyage of the Galactic Starcruiser have already boarded, and in less than half an hour, the performers will join them. Less than two days from now, this journey will be over. But I can't believe that this is the end. The end of this show, yes - all shows end, and many before their time. But not the end of the emotion, not the end of the love, not the end of the storytelling and the joy and the play and the together-as-one. I can't believe that. Because this was something that you can't put a price tag on, something that you can't sum up in as simple and easily-mocked as the phrase "the Star Wars hotel," and, frankly, it's silly to try.
We journeyed boldly. We cherished the moment. We made something worth celebrating and remembering. And we will do it again.
To the Halcyon, and to all who made her fly - Ta'bu e tay!
Finally got a chance to read this, and I’m so glad that I did. Thank you so much for sharing this. You should be so proud of the work you’ve done. I’m so glad you got to not only experience this show, but to do so in a way that was filled with love. Love that you put into it being put right back out to you. Not everyone is going to understand this thing. Not everyone is going to understand the sense of loss we all feel. But we do. I’m so glad that we could bring you joy, and that we could show you how much this show was loved. I know this isn’t the first time I’ve thanked you, but I’ll say it again: thank you. 💕
characters who view themselves as tools/weapons first and people second... characters who martyr themselves for a cause because they think that's the only way they can be worth something... characters who push themselves past their breaking point again and again and again... characters for whom devotion and masochism are inseparable... characters whose self-sacrifice becomes self-annihilation...... what was my point again? i had a point. anyway.
Need y’all to know I was hanging out with @bushrat2319 the other day when she told me she had found *the perfect* audio for Riyola but couldn’t pull it up at the time, then hours later she sent me this and I can confirm, it is perfect, 10/10 worth the hype
This was supposed to be just a warm up from a base by Mellonsoup on TikTok and then I fell in love with it so it got properly inked and colored. Might add a background later
