HERE NOW

Leo, 24, Lawlessland

[leodanieli]

“That’s one way to draw attention to yourself.” Anders said as he approached the younger man. “Made it easier to find you though. Mack said you needed my help. Not sure how you got in with her good graces but I’m not allowed to say no to her so here I am. Are you ready? It’s probably half a days walk. I don’t have a car to use right now.” 

Leo’s eyes rolled when he heard someone approach, wiping sweat from his forehead. “I’m getting pretty desperate.” He admitted, shaking his head. Withdrawl was a bitch, and he wasn’t willing to put up with it much longer. “Oh shit, yeah, you’re the guy.” Leo commented. “Wow shit uh yeah, we should probably go then.”

[leodanieli]

DRUGS! I would like to buy DRUGS! Does anybody know where I can get them?

[leodanieli]

There’s no, what you Outsiders call, government. Our family has been around for as long as the towns existed so I guess overtime we’ve become feared. People don’t mess with us. You can just openly stab someone if you want. You can do whatever you want. But so can everyone else so be careful I guess. We do have currency here so you’ll have to talk to the saloon owner. I’ll also talk to my dad’s guy, Anders, and see if he can get you to the junk yard. 

Well damn... alright that’s... pretty cool. So what are your dads rules then? Anything I can watch out for? I guess I’ll stop in there and see what I can get. I’m guessing I should probably get some money before I end out oweing someone. Don’t wanna die. Anders? I’ll seek him out. Thanks.

[leodanieli]

Let’s just hope I’m sneaky enough for that. Pretty sure I stick out like a sore thumb though. I’m going to hold you to that promise. And if you ever get trouble and need help you can hit me up. Not sure what I’ll do but maybe I  can figure something out.  True and I think in a place like this we can use all the allies we can get.

Okay well, if you feel like you’re gonna starve, hit me up. I swear I can handle it, and if not and someone kills me, you can eat me. Honest, you have my permission. Well good thing we found each other, Big Red. 

[leodanieli]

That’s still a little funny though. I feel like stealing here might just get you murdered but I’d probably rather take that chance than kill something. I just don’t think I’m that kind of person. Honestly I’m probably the person who’d rather starve than do either. Neither option sounds appealing to me. I’d like to think it’s a useful skill but I guess we’ll find out.

Well see just don’t get caught and then you won’t get murdered AND you don’t have to think about strangling a Prairie dog. It’s a win win. I mean hey, if you’re ever starving, hit me up, maybe we can figure it out. I mean hey, I like friendly, now you have an ally here, right?

[leodanieli]

I know. Fucking savages in this town. 

Is there someone with a bigger knife to stop them?

[leodanieli]

How does it make zero sense? Like I said, my dad makes up his own rules whenever he feels like it so day to day things change around here. Everyone tries to keep to themselves or stay out of trouble but there are the people who go around stealing, killing, being a total dick to everyone and everything. It’s complete chaos. But it’s home and my dad makes sure our family is protected. I can see if one of my dads guys can escort you to the junk yard. The saloon is always looking for sex workers. Maybe a bartender. I’m not sure. That’s where my dad and his friends hang out so I avoid that place. 

So your dad is not in charge because there are no laws, except for that he is and he makes up his own laws. So what are like the rules then? Can I just openly like stab someone? Right now? If I just start smoking a blunt is anyone gonna say anything? Yeah if one of your dad’s guys wouldn’t mind helping me out. Oh shit like that kind of a... I mean is there any actual pay because like... I mean I’m broke as shit. 

[sheisraging]

Timothée Chalamet for Document Journal (Fall/Winter, 2020) 
 Photographed by Hedi Slimane

[leodanieli]

My dad has his law and he likes to think it’s THE law, but no. No laws. Well, if you’re in the inner city you just turn and start walking in the other direction towards the outer city. The Saloon always has vacant beds but usually you have to work for it. 

Okay that makes like... zero sense. Like what’s his law then? You can just do anything here? I guess I’ll have to go out there, hope it’s not junked, and that I can get it back. What kind of work, and is there pay besides board because I’m really... fucking broke. 

[timotheesbagelshop]

Timothée Chalamet window pics ❤️

[leodanieli]

So long as you weren’t driving a big red truck we have killer nicknames. If you seriously did have a big red truck I might just die of laughter. It’s not so much about the taste but I just can’t imagine killing one. I’m all for eating meat but I do not want to be the one doing the killing or watching it happen. I like to think meat just magically appears or something. Like we’re not eating something that was once living. I think I’m a people person. I mean I was able to charm this couple into letting me stay in their barn. I wonder if that was something I did in my life. Well lucky for you, you won’t have to find out.

It was red, but it was pretty small so I think we’ll be okay. Yeah I guess I could get that. I don’t know I’ve never been hungry enough to go kill something myself. I've done some pretty desperate shit in my life, but never anything like that. I just uh... I’d rather steal from a gas station or something so... better stay close to town. I can get that, meat’s fuckin weird. You seem like a people person like... really friendly. I mean hey... not a bad skill to have, right?

[leodanieli]

Deliah but I’m actually really okay with Big Red. My first nickname. I don’t think I ever got your name either. Unless you prefer Truck guy. I in no way will ever eat a Prairie dog. Not going to happen. Really? For what? So.. it’s kind of like this is where you were meant to be. Told you. I mean you were on your way to New Mexico and I’m from New York. The chances of us ever meeting if we hadn’t ended up here are very slim. People are nice. I’m not great at being alone. I like company.

Deliah, huh. My name is Leo, but truck guy kinda works. Really? I can’t imagine a Prairie dog tastes that bad, I’m sure pioneers used to eat them all the time. Yeah I don’t know... like I said I’m not big on the whole fate thing but... I’m here for now and I can’t just walk into the fucking desert without my truck. I mean... yeah we probably wouldn’t be meeting any other place. I’m... usually on my own... but you know... I don’t know if this is the best place to not have a friend. 

[leodanieli]

Big Red? Is that my name now? Very true. I can fish but I am not about to go out and kill deer or something for food. Are there even deer here? I don’t take offense. I take that as a compliment. Do you not like it? The heat sucks but it’s pretty.  Yeah. The last thing you want to do is get lost and not be able to find your way back.

I don’t think I ever got your name, but I think Big Red also sounds kinda cool. Like an outlaw. I guess I could eat a cactus but I don’t know about that. I don’t think there’s deer, maybe prarie dogs. I don’t mind it, I was on my way to New Mexico anyway. Though I don’t know, I guess my road lead me to the desert so. I’m already pretty fuckin lost but I’d rather be lost near where I can like... find people. 

[leodanieli]

You lost your stuff and I lost my memory. What a misfit duo we make. Money is a problem we can solve. We just have to find jobs. How we do that I’m not sure but we’ll figure it out. You said you’re crafty I’m sure there’s plenty of people who could be in need of that talent. Maybe but I don’t think I’m a fancy rich person. The idea of it just makes me nauseous. I kind of like sleeping in the barn, wandering around the desert, being in nature. This is for sure got to be the weirdest place I’ve ever been.

Yeah really, it’s quite the combo huh, Big Red. I’m hoping there’s an odd job or two around here because I’m gonna need money like soon. I’m not about to starve to death in the desert. Yeah you don’t seem that fancy or rich, no offense. Good you like it like this though cuz uh... I ain’t seen like anything but desert no matter where I go. It is weird here. May be best to get like... the lay of the land. 

[leodanieli]

Maybe we’ll find it while exploring. Maybe this is the moment you change that. Open yourself up to something new. You never know you might like it. High standards tend to leave you let down. When you don’t expect much anything is better than nothing. I get that. If I was than maybe someone is looking for me. Though I’m not holding out much hope. You’d think I’d have more in my purse if I was crazy rich.

Yeah I hope so, I’m pretty sure I left some shit in there. I’m not getting my hopes too high, mostly because if it was towed or something... I don’t have any money. I mean hey, maybe someone is. Maybe you just left all the big expensive stuff at home because you didn’t want to lose it going out. Or maybe you’re like me and homeless and broke and this is actually kind of the weirdest place you’ve ever been.

[leodanieli]

Well on the bright side maybe this is where you’re supposed to settle down. Everything happens for a reason and what not. Loosing your truck could be the best thing to happen to you. I’ll ask them. They’re nice. Crafty? I’m not sure. If I did I don’t now or maybe it’s like riding a bike. Exploring is always better with a partner.

I mean... could be. I just wish I knew where the truck was. I’ll have to find it eventually. I’m not much of a fate guy but... I mean maybe. Yeah I’m pretty crafty, like uh, I can turn just about anywhere into somewhere to sleep. The standard is NOT high. Oh right, the no memory. I don’t know you’re from New York and that doesn’t exactly seem like the best place to learn I don’t think. Who knows though, maybe you were crazy rich. 

[leodanieli]

You were living in your truck? I can’t imagine that was very comfortable. We can ask the couple if you can stay in the barn with me. It’s big enough and I think the hay is probably more comfortable than a truck seat. Yeah. It’s kind of cool actually. I want to get on one at some point but like I don’t know, this place is kind of intimidating. Maybe. I’ll look into it.

Uh yeah, you know just until I found somewhere to settle down. Guess the truck decided for me. Yeah uh, if they’d be okay with that. I mean I’m kind of crafty, I know I... I can figure something out. Do you know how to ride a horse? Because I straight up don’t think I could. If you want someone to explore with, I promise I’m cool.