âHey, Iâll have you know that I had to crawl through the window because of you. And your crazy girlfriend. Who is on the porch, by the way. I think sheâs trying to give you some more venison hearts. Anyway, itâs my day off and Iâm not going to deal with her so, hence the window.â He paused, grinning, âPlus, itâs cool feeling like a fucking ninja sometimes. Also scaring the shit out of you.â
He plopped down at the table, âYo, pizza sounds amazing. Iâll take a slice.â
He paused, taking out his phone where he texted Zach that Kayla was outside, just as a warning if he tried to come home. âI canât believe she hasnât gotten the hint that you arenât interested yet,â Ben said, casually. The truth was, it was completely his fault (and Zachâs) that Kayla was so aggressively pursuing Leo. Every time Leo did anything to reject her, Zach and Ben would somehow convince her that this was how Leo expressed his affection.
in fact, it was by their suggestion alone that had first sparked Kaylaâs interest in Leo in the first place. They never thought sheâd actually start stalking him. But now that she had, of course they had no choice but to encourage it.
âThis wouldnât be happening if youâd actually made a move on Charlie.â Ben said, shaking his head.
When Ben began talking, Leo was taking him at his most sarcastic.  By the end of his speech, Leo was a believer.  âOh God,â he said.  âShit, man, that heartâŠI mean, I love nature as much as the next person butâŠwhat even was that.â  Leo had had multiple nightmares about that night, usually ending with him tied to a piece of furniture in agony a la Misery.  âIs she gone?â he asked.
âDefinitely,â Leo was saying, relieved to be thinking about pizza instead of hearts for dinner. Â Walking to the fridge, he pulled out the delivery box. Â He threw a couple slices on two plates and handed one to Ben. Â Some people liked hot pizza, and Leo was one of them, but he could eat it either way. Â Any pizza, in his book, was a great pizza.
Leoâs was at his witsâ end with Kayla.  He wasnât sure how to be clear with her, now, that he was uninterested, without being downright rude.  Heâd tried everything - even things Zach and Ben had suggested, against his better judgment - and still she would not be rebuffed.  âYou know, I literally said to her the other day, âI just want to be friends.â  I literally canât think of a clearer way to say it.  I mean, âjust friendsâ says it all, doesnât it?  I mean, I donât want to be rude or unkindâŠbut I just canât eat another venison heart, Ben,â he said, shaking his head.  âItâs just a fucking muscle, I know, butâŠstillâŠâ  Somehow, eating a heart felt a little on the nose. Â
âI mean, ok, say it was youâŠSay itâs Thea harassing you or, fuck, say it is Kayla.  What would you do, Ben?â  Leo knew it was a terrible idea to ask his roommates for suggestions in this caseâŠbut he was out of better options.
Glaring at Ben, Leo chewed irritably on his pizza and thought of that uncomfortable night heâd had out with Charlie and couldnât think of a single thing to say. Â âHey, Ben,â Leo said, once heâd swallowed. Â âYou two didnât have her thinking I was a serial killer or something, back then, did you?â he inquired. He frankly wouldn't be surprised either way.
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