LeRoy

[leroywilson]

#LeRoyWilson #GrandmaLucille

[leroywilson]

This photo was taken at my mom's 50th birthday party at the Crown Plaza hotel near LaGuardia airport. She has a blindfold on because it was a surprise party.

[leroywilson]

This photo was taken at City Island after my graduation from #SUNYPurchase (class of 2006)

[leroywilson]

It was hard to face the end of life scenario with my dad.

#cancer

#LeRoyWilson

[leroywilson]

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"

#TuesdaysWithGabi

By the time my therapist was through with her breakdown I wanted to ball up in corner and suck my thumb.

[leroywilson]

I felt more isolated in this world than anyone else.

#WakingUpInMelbourne

[leroywilson]

It sucks to be suicidal over a girl who ghosted you...

After #TuesdaysWithGabi came to a close I started having suicidal ideations.

[leroywilson]

#Tommy

It feels good to return home, but it also means returning to a consensus where people value money and its importance more than life itself. I don't think another death in this family would change their toxic mindset.

#StraightOutta1984

[leroywilson]

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Alfred Lord Tennyson

#TuesdaysWithGabi

I fell head over heels in love with my therapist. Even though it all went south on her end I'm grateful for quotes like this because it helps to put things into perspective.

[leroywilson]

[leroywilson]

It wasn't just her love I was unworthy of. My therapist made me feel like I'm incapable of being loved by anyone.

[leroywilson]

The last farewell I had with my parents in Atlanta was an emotional one. Even the hotel bellhop felt the need to acknowledge the special bond we had. In the back of my mind was the experience of them leaving me to spread my wings at college. It reflected one of my earliest childhood dreams. Loneliness would play out in both scenarios. Homecoming was the last time my family visited me at Livingstone College. The smartest decision would've been to leave with them. Instead I put on a brave face and gave my them a heartfelt goodbye.

#LeRoy

[leroywilson]

"Oh my God I'm obsessed with this person!"

#TuesdaysWithGabi

I walked into my therapist's office two weeks in a row saying the same thing. After the second time Parris said "Okay here's the deal. Right now you have to start thinking about the consequences. Particularly LEGAL consequences. Considering my mind state at the time that was tough pill to swallow. Now I can comfortably say that the worst of the storm is over.

[leroywilson]

"At least you told her."

#FrontierPsychiatrist

#TuesdaysWithGabi

This came from my former psychiatrist Dr. Amy Harsany. She said "I thought you really liked her". I liked her to the point where a funny feeling came over me. Something was growing.

I didn't have serious feelings for Gabi until after she gave me seductive gazes when I told her about the incident that happened with #MKNaomi in Melbourne, Australia. Her body language led me to believe that she liked me. RickRolling my way into her office was my way of saying I like you too.

Back in 2010 I was in a similar situation where I had feelings for a therapist. Ultimately it was the nurse practitioner who spilled the beans as far as the crush I had on Danielle. In the end she felt the need to apologise for the counter transference vibes she was giving me. I thought #TuesdaysWithGabi would flow in the same direction but it ended with her breaking down.

https://t.co/YTH0fuxqyt

[leroywilson]

Thomas Freimark

When my mom got the call that Tommy just died, the first thing she did was grab my hand. After leaving her bedroom I posted the following on social media.

"IF YOU'RE CONTEMPLATING SUICIDE I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE YOU TO GET THE HELP THAT YOU NEED!!! I JUST HEARD SOME VERY DISTURBING NEWS!!!"

A few minutes later I get a call from Aunt Kiki to delete my latest status update on Facebook. She said "I know that you're family but Little Tommy doesn't know yet.". Later I received a message from my cousin Sherali informing me that there were people in the family talking about what I said on Facebook. I informed him that I already talked to his mom and subsequently removed my status update.

Before they made the drive to Tallahassee I remember the caravan making a pit stop at my house. After obtaining Tommy's ashes a small memorial was planned at a beach front pier in Suffolk County. At the end of the memorial his ashes were poured into the water.

During the musical part of the service I stepped up and took over by singing. My hikikomori routine allowed me enough time to practice my vocals. Someone even took note that I had a "good singing voice".

The one thing that stood out to me that afternoon is when it was time for Little Tommy to say a few words. As tears poured down his face he said "I had no idea that I had such big family". It took awhile for me to get to the point of shedding those same tears after my own father died of cancer.

Before leaving Melbourne, Australia, a young woman said something that left me feeling suicidal. A friend I made in Sydney tried to talk me out of it. What made me come full circle was remembering my own words when we got news of Tommy's passing. When the going gets tough one of my coping strategies is a going to a YouTube playlist named Tommy. It contains a set of songs as well as music videos about suicide prevention.