myself at a.m

just my thoughts

[ifthenightcouldtalk]

Looking back, I should never have begged you to stay. If you don’t want me than you don’t deserve me. I’m not a second choice. You don’t get to settle for me. I’m the gold medal and just because I may be a little rusted doesn’t mean you toss me away. So I’m done. One day we’ll meet on the streets and you’ll be blinded by my shine. And you’ll think about your mistakes, but for my sake, please don’t. Because your mistakes set me free.

The only person who gets to have me, is me. (via ifthenightcouldtalk)

[ifthenightcouldtalk]

I know right now you feel broken and incomplete, but do not let that stop you. Accept that you loved him. Do not deny that feeling, do not be afraid of it. Life is about feeling and experiencing all the emotions of the world so embrace the love you felt. And do not let the fact that you only knew him a short time invalidate your feelings. So what you only knew him two months? If you loved him, you loved him. No one else gets to tell you that you didn’t. But please know that you will love again, not in the same way but in a better way. There’s someone out there waiting to love you in ways that he was too scared to. They will give you a piece of their heart that is so filled with love for you that it will replace that missing piece. It will fit so perfectly that you’ll forget your heart was ever even broken. This was the first boy you loved. That will never change. He will always hold a piece of you. But do not let his stupidity stop you from experiencing the world. He has already taken enough of you, don’t let him take anymore.

A letter to my friend suffering her first heartbreak. It gets better. (via ifthenightcouldtalk)

[ifthenightcouldtalk]

I know you don’t want to move on. But he doesn’t care anymore. That hurts to hear, but you deserve so much better. You deserve someone who not only listens but cares, someone who makes you wake up smiling. You deserve someone that makes every day better than the last just because you get to spend it together. He wasn’t him. But someone will be.

So please, go find him. I know you can. (via ifthenightcouldtalk)

[ifthenightcouldtalk]

I’m so tired of being told that it’s his loss. What did he lose? Did he lose the girl who cries in the middle of comedy movies because the sound of laughter is exhausting? Or the girl who keeps him up late because she doesn’t want to face the nightmares anymore? How is any of this a loss? To him he didn’t lose anything. He was finally set free.

I know I kept you caged, I just didn’t want to be alone. (via ifthenightcouldtalk)

[ifthenightcouldtalk]

Maybe we’ll meet again when we’re older and not so messed up. Maybe then our love can work.

You’re worth the wait. (via ifthenightcouldtalk)

[ifthenightcouldtalk]

We didn’t love each other, we loved the game; The constant bickering and making-up, never knowing what was next. We loved the game so much we forgot that this was our lives we were playing with. I guess the game won because here we are, no bickering, no making-up, just strangers with history.

(via ifthenightcouldtalk)

[ifthenightcouldtalk]

Did you hear it; The sound of my heart breaking when you said you didn’t love me anymore? Does it still haunt you in your sleep?

Your words still haunt me. (via ifthenightcouldtalk)

[ifthenightcouldtalk]

To my friends, you’re just a stupid boy they used to hear about. To my parents, you’re just a stupid boy who let go of the greatest girl in the world. But to me, you’re the biggest regret; You’re the river of tears, the sleepless nights, the glass shards in my chest. You’re the pain far worse than I could ever imagine. You’re the one that whenever someone asks me about my first love, I’ll picture in my head as a tear forms in my eye and I say “He was just a stupid boy.

(via ifthenightcouldtalk)

[ifthenightcouldtalk]

I used to think about how you were too good for her. But now I think about how I was too good for you. You didn’t deserve all the hours I spent wiping away your tears. You didn’t deserve every night I spent comforting you while you pretended I was her. You never deserved me.

And I deserved way better than you. (via ifthenightcouldtalk)

[ifthenightcouldtalk]

One day I’ll tell my daughter about you as her heart lays in pieces on the floor. She’ll scream about the pain as she drowns in her tears and I’ll flashback to the moment you tore my heart apart. I’ll tell her that first loves are always the strongest and first heartbreaks are always the worst. And then I’ll tell her about you and how I never thought I’d love again. But I did, and she will too. I’ll tell her that I was just a stupid girl for thinking you were it because if I hadn’t moved on from you, I never would have met the man that gave me her. It may not seem like it then, but losing him will be the best thing that happens to her. You taught me all this. So thank you for breaking my heart. You gave me more than you’ll ever know.

(via ifthenightcouldtalk)

[ifthenightcouldtalk]

To you, I was just another option to try. I was the next girl on your list; Another box to check off. And as soon as you did, boy did you run quick. That’s why it hurt so much. For you, I was just another day of the year. But for me, you were a lifetime.

(via ifthenightcouldtalk)

[ifthenightcouldtalk]

I’m tired of mediocre love. I don’t want a gentle kiss, I want a firework kiss. I want a kiss that lights up my whole world and leaves people in awe. I’m done wasting my time with anything less than fireworks. If your love doesn’t shake the sky, than it’s not the love for me. I’m done settling for less.

(via ifthenightcouldtalk)

[ifthenightcouldtalk]

I know he said he’d never forget you, but he has. And it’s time you forget him too.

You can do this. I believe in you. (via ifthenightcouldtalk)

[ifthenightcouldtalk]

The hardest thing I had to accept is that you don’t care about me anymore. I don’t cross your mind when you see a dog on the street. I don’t flash through your head when our song comes on. You’ve erased me from your life and I don’t know how. I’ve tried but you keep creeping back into my mind. Everything I do, it comes back to you.

(via ifthenightcouldtalk)

[ifthenightcouldtalk]

One day I’ll look back and understand why you had to break my heart.

(via ifthenightcouldtalk)

[ifthenightcouldtalk]

It’s been a year since I moved. You said you’d keep in touch but we haven’t talked in a month. I used to try because I miss you so much, but I guess I’m just tired of not being missed too. If you really cared you would notice; you wouldn’t let this distance change us. But it has.

I know where I stand. (via ifthenightcouldtalk)

[ifthenightcouldtalk]

One day I’ll look back and I won’t remember the sound of your voice or the look of your eyes in the morning. I’ll forget the way my skin used to tingle at your touch or how I could turn you on with only my words. One day you’ll just be a memory. But I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for that.

(via ifthenightcouldtalk)