* LOVE & WAR. @lethalovea - Tumblr Blog

i moved mikayla to @lethalove

#same url but now i can actually Follow Back :')#i. HALF GIRL HALF ASLEEP. / out of character.

lesbian or sapphic relationship starters.

"have you ever had a girlfriend before?"

"not all lesbians listen to tegan and sara."

"my past girlfriends were all disappointed in my glaring lack of flannel."

"i'm not femme or butch... i'm more... futch?"

"i've never been with a girl before but i'm in the market to change that."

"so, i started reading sappho's poetry yesterday. it's actually pretty good. and gay."

"am i a disappointing lesbian if i like dogs more than cats?"

"i need to be butcher."

"when i look at a girl, i can't decide if i want to be her or be on her. it's a real struggle."

"i've noticed since i came out, the population of plaid in my closet has increased drastically."

"you're my girlfriend, not my mom. unless you're into that. then i'm kink-shaming you."

"does my haircut read as lesbian or more 'straight girl who chats up girls on tinder for me and my manbun boyfriend to hook up with'? ...please say lesbian."

"i don't have any cats."

"let's face it: i'm a stud."

"lesbian bed death was a concept created by bitter straight people who were jealous that lesbians actually have orgasms every time we fuck."

"my type? girl... who's available and interested in me."

"you can tell she's been single for a while. i can't even remember the last time she clipped her nails."

"she sent me a finger pic last night. ...is that a thing?"

"i wish i was a sports lesbian but i'm just a sleeps for 14 hours and forgets to clean the cat box for 3 days lesbian."

"i heard her listening to hayley kiyoko. she's not straight."

"do i look gay?"

"i'm wearing a bowtie to our wedding. it's going to bring out my eyes."

"i think our dog's a lesbian."

"this woman at work asked me if i knew ellen. i told her we all get together every other weekend to catch up on the latest hot gossip. i think she believed me."

"i'm so fucking gay."

#call her out :)#s/b: aly you never answered any of your other drafted memes #me: anyway #i. MEMES.

leftoverfear.

❝ i mean, don’t worry about it, ❞ she mocks, flashing a playful grin her direction. brows raise, surprised by mikayla’s offer. though, part of her wants to take it. she would feel good having her there. hayden’s always been stubborn, always insisting that she can handle herself, never wanting anyone to fight her battles for her. she goes into sinema every night with that same notion on her mind, insistent that she doesn’t need anyone speaking up and defending her because she’s independent. still, that doesn’t make it easier, and it doesn’t make it any less annoying for her. ❝ you —- definitely don’t have to do that, you know. i can handle those creeps. ❞ it’s always her response. still, the idea is too tempting. ❝ i mean, having you there might make it more bearable though. ❞ a pause. ❝ okay, it DEFINITELY would make it more bearable. i’m not opposed to you being there. it’s tomorrow night —- guess i’m only lucky enough for one day off in a row, ❞ she mumbles.

she gulps, hand finding her hip and resting on it cautiously as mikayla tightens the grip on her own. a small laugh falls from her lips at her words, though she quickly becomes serious again. ❝ —– you’re right. it’s you. ❞ words are spoken quietly, as if it’s a secret only for mikayla to hear. but it’s genuine; of course hayden wants to kiss her again BECAUSE IT’S HER, and she has wanted to kiss her for all too long now. she can’t stop the grin that forms on her lips as mikayla says she wants to do it again, and she can’t BLAME HER for not wanting to bring it up to anyone else. hayden can handle that —- maybe not forever, if it does continue, but she’s willing to figure it out. ❝ fine. i can keep a secret, ❞ she insists, eyes finally looking away from mikayla, hand on her hips pushing her forward slightly to press her against the closest wall. she leans in, almost close enough to kiss her, but stops before she’s able. ❝ if we both don’t mind, then —– why aren’t we still kissing? ❞ she asks in a taunting tone.

she only hopes it doesn’t come off as jealousy, her wanting to drive off any annoying, disrespectful male that ever paid hayden any attention; for the most part, it’s not. she’s simply all too familiar with the indecency of most boys. ( there might be something else, too, but she’ll ignore it for as long as possible. ) ‘ i know you can handle them. but i can punch them. i’m not the one with a job to lose. ’ a smile spreads across her lips once hayden agrees, almost too eager. ‘ okay, cool. i’ll be there. maybe not the entire time, but i’ll make it entertaining when i am. ’

her gaze falls to the hand on her hip, a single breath exhaled in a shaky sigh, her body almost instinctively pressing closer to her touch, attempting to encourage it even when she doesn’t know exactly what to say. ‘ you can’t –––– ’ she cuts herself off, hesitating to finish her sentence, only to rush the rest of it out before her mind could change. ‘ you can’t just say things like that and expect me not to want to kiss you. ’ because she does, more than she’s ever wanted to kiss any boy before her, though she’s never allowed herself to admit it until now, when her curiosity has been put to rest, yet she still wants more. ‘ good. ’ a brief gasp is tugged from her lips as her back meets the wall, breath already quickening once the space between them is diminished once more, even if it’s not yet closed completely. ‘ because . . . ’ she trails off as if in thought, her opposite hand skimming down hayden’s side, crimson lips curled into a smirk. ‘ i kissed you last time. i think it’s your turn. ’

#LEFTOVERFEAR #LEFTOVERFEAR : 01.#i. SHE'S LIKE A ROSE. BEAUTIFUL AND ENCHANTING BUT HER ROOTS ARE FULL OF WOUNDS. / main.#i. THREAD.#she just gets gayer w every reply icb this

me: finally, i can have a muse that isn’t completely fucking trash mikayla: manipulates people, steals, lets people die right in front of her, fucks with people’s emotions me: wow, nevermind!

#me writing a good person? unrealistic #just kidding mikayla's still good @ heart she's just... selfish.#her dad was a pos so she learned that if she wanted something she'd have to Take it for herself instead of #expecting it to be given to her :/#( technically things are just Given to her when she uses her charmspeak but that... doesn't count. )#i. HALF GIRL HALF ASLEEP. / out of character.

sunbruise.

he watched her walk ahead towards the road , her hair tousled and shirt splattered with ash . then he looked to ace , and after a brief pause of hesitation they exchanged shrugs and started off after her . her persuasion was a quiet way out , no trouble and no grief . but the thought of yanking the poor sucker out and jacking the car felt quicker in his mind , more honest . it was a while of walking until the found a busier road , fast cars speeding by with the occasional van or truck , but none slow enough for them to grasp at . finally , a silver mercedes rolled into view . the driver seemed distracted on a call one second , and distracted by mikayla the next . ❝ ouf , poor twat . ❞ it took less than a minute for her to lure him to a stop ( he figured he stopped on his own accord , with the way he seemed far more interested in her all of a sudden than the person bickering over the phone ) . close enough that the car had drudged onto the grass line and on the right minute that no cars were slow enough to see them . it wasn’t until the man reached forward to touch their companion , that he reached for his throat . ❝ shush . ❞

tearing the man’s breath away in one sharp pull , kenneth dragged him out through the window and let him drop to the ground . the man wheezed , startled , but seemed dazed out of reality . ace handled the rest , and didn’t give him enough time to jog up a fuss before he was rolling his body down the low hill they had climbed up . walking around the car , kenneth claimed shot gun .

she cares nothing for the man thrown from his vehicle, even as kenneth drops him to the ground, even as ace shoves a knife into his gut, steals his wallet, and rolls him away. though she would never end a life directly, she’s witnessed enough brutality to become numb to it. besides, it was the man’s fault, anyway; if only he’d been smarter than to pull over for her, in hopes of the gods knew what, he’d still be alive. she only cares for what benefits her, anyway, and the car does her more good than the man’s life does.

ace beats her to the driver side, earning a scoff from her part, though she still climbs into the backseat nonetheless, only voicing her complaint once they’re in the safety of the cooled vehicle. ‘ we’re letting the sleep - deprived insomniac drive. that’s great. ’ already, she’s leaning over, angling herself to catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror, brushing all remaining dust from the bull from darkened locks. “ falling asleep at the wheel, fixing your makeup in the rear-view mirror –––– it’s the same thing. ” mikayla’s jaw sets, brows furrowing into a scowl, only to smooth out for the sake of preventing wrinkles. ‘ gods, you’re insufferable. anyway –––– who’s hungry? i talked some guy into giving me a couple hundred dollars earlier, so it’s on me. except for you, emerson. you can starve. ’

#SUNBRUISE #SUNBRUISE : 01.#FT. ACE EMERSON.#i. SHE'S LIKE A ROSE. BEAUTIFUL AND ENCHANTING BUT HER ROOTS ARE FULL OF WOUNDS. / main.#they're exhausting

leftoverfear.

❝ hey, you’re lucky either way. i actually have REASON to compliment you. i mean, most of the time, ❞ she teases, bright grin painting her lips. her eyes scan the room, head nodding slowly. ❝ sounds exactly like sinema. except —– add completely rude and disrespectful to the description. that wraps them all up, ❞ she mutters. she blinks a bit too rapidly as mikayla mentions kissing them, her mind instantly starting to wonder just how many boys she’s kissed here and how many of them had held her interest at all ( is it selfish she hopes the latter is NONE? ) ❝ —– yeah, i bet. i’ve never done that. just —– kissed someone random. i don’t even think that i could. i’d probably start LAUGHING in the middle of it because i felt so weird. ❞ and she’s only really good at sharing intimate moments like that with people she cares about.

for a moment, it’s as if they’re in their own bubble, one that hayden doesn’t wish to leave anytime soon. she’s enamored by the kiss, so much so that she’s able to convince herself it’s really not just something they’re doing; rather, it’s something maybe both parties has wanted to do for some time now. could that be true? could mikayla really be putting in an effort beyond just pushing some boys away they clearly don’t care about? as she pulls away, she tries to talk herself out of that thought. still, the shaky hand that rests in her hand hasn’t come down from the high. her eyes remain closed, as if afraid that when she opens them, she might have to face what’s left of them. it’s not until she hears her voice that she actually opens her eyes to be met with hers, cheeks covered in a blush and breath shaky. ❝ right, no big deal, ❞ she mutters, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she makes no effort to pull away. ❝ and is it still no big deal if i . . . ❞ she pauses, clearing her throat. ❝ —- if i said i wouldn’t hate doing that again? ❞

‘ what do you mean, most of the time? ’ she scoffs, though her defense is mostly feigned. another frown momentarily graces glossed lips, a heated lump of irritation developing amidst her throat. ‘ gross. when’s your next shift? –––– i’ll come with. ’ she knows that hayden’s fully capable of standing up for herself, but although mikayla’s never had a real job of her own, she imagines that doing so would be difficult if she planned to keep it; but mikayla wouldn’t have to worry about censoring herself. and even if driving all disrespectful boys away from the other for one night won’t fix things permanently, maybe it’s a start. and maybe mikayla just wants a reason to be around her more. she’s comforted by the knowledge that hayden doesn’t go around kissing just anyone, even if it is rather hypocritical of her to feel that way, given the way mikayla spends most nights; but none of the boys she kisses ever matter to her. it’s rare that she ever thinks about them again, much less speaks to them.

for the most part, she’s completely forgotten that they’re still in public, so she couldn’t care less about whether or not the act warns boys away from them or not. even after they’ve stopped, she’s blind to the world around them, only capable of focusing on hayden, her mind still cloudy, stuck in a daze no other kiss has ever put her in. she knows she should be pulling away completely now, should act like it meant nothing to her, but it’s difficult when they’re this close after what feels like ages of only wishing for this. instead, the grip she has on hayden’s hand only tightens, as if suggesting that she doesn’t want to let this go. ‘ it –––– it would be weird if you didn’t want to kiss me again. i mean, it’s me. ’ though her words are confident, her voice shakes, obviously nervous even after the kiss. her gaze lowers to hayden’s mouth once more. ‘ i . . . i wouldn’t mind doing it again either. just, um –––– ’ as irrational as it might be, she can’t help the fear that runs through her at the thought of what her father might do if he found out; but she tries to convince herself that it doesn’t matter, because she left him behind years ago. ‘ don’t tell anyone i said that. ’

#LEFTOVERFEAR #LEFTOVERFEAR : 01.#i. SHE'S LIKE A ROSE. BEAUTIFUL AND ENCHANTING BUT HER ROOTS ARE FULL OF WOUNDS. / main.#i. THREAD.#she's Dying this is fine

mikayla desousa aesthetic. her voice left a flavor of honey and gunpowder on the air.

#i. SHE HAD LAVENDER IN HER HAIR AND ROSES ON HER CHEEK. / aesthetic.#what am i doing : /

redsatinsheets:

you know what’s sad? the fact that im too good for any man i will ever meet. tragic.

#i. THERE WERE GIRLS WHO WOULD TEAR YOU APART WITH THEIR LIPS. / study.#me: you're also too gay #mikayla:#mikayla: anyway

novebmer

#i. THERE WERE GIRLS WHO WOULD TEAR YOU APART WITH THEIR LIPS. / study.#I HATE THIS SO MU CH

leftoverfear.

❝ —- then i don’t mind telling. ❞ whatever she wants to hear, she’s happy to give it to her, especially if it’s something like this. ❝ but if you’re just hanging out with me so i’ll feed you compliments constantly, i might have to reconsider this, ❞ she teases. of course, she’ll never have a reason to reconsider. she values the time she spends with her and doesn’t want that to change, but she holds back, afraid to say too much and sometimes saying too little because of it. ❝ you’re right, ❞ she agrees, almost all too quickly. but she’s not afraid to admire it, having no shame for thinking her friend is attractive. ❝ i don’t really know. i’ve never done that, ❞ she admits. ❝ like i said —- going out on the hunt for some guy to entertain me just isn’t really my thing. i’m here because you are. ❞

she won’t pull away first, it’s what she keeps telling herself —– even if her breath is already being stolen away and she can feel her hand shaking against hers. her fingers move along her neck, fingertips brushing against her hair as her thumb continues to rub along her jaw. body presses up against hers just barely, the way her lips move against hers slightly hungrier as she continues. if it doesn’t matter, if it’s no big deal, it shouldn’t be this easy to forget where they are and get lost in their own little bubble, but she’s doing it anyway, focusing all her energy on mikayla and refusing to let anything surrounding them stop her from doing what she’s wanted to do for too long now.

‘ awh, you caught me. that’s definitely the only reason i hang out with you. ’ the sarcasm that so obviously laces her tone suggests the ingenuity of her words. despite how hungry mikayla’s ego seems to be, that’s far from the reason she enjoys being around the other. ‘ honestly? you’re smart not to. every boy i’ve met at a place like this reeks of desperation and too much cologne. half of them can’t kiss to save their life, either. ’ and still she comes back for more against her better judgement, as if every night spent with some boy at a club isn’t the same; at least with hayden, she knows it’ll be different. for once, she’ll genuinely enjoy herself.

and enjoying herself is exactly what she’s doing as she kisses her, veins injected with a feeling of euphoria that’s otherwise unfamiliar to her. she wasn’t supposed to like it this much; she wasn’t supposed to do anything other than prove to herself that her feelings for the other are strictly platonic, but she’s failed miserably at that. it’s all she can do to keep from pulling hayden away, tempted to drag her off to somewhere more private, and it’s when that thought crosses her mind that she stops, lips parting despite how badly she wishes to keep kissing her. she’s still mere breaths away from the other’s face, as if she can’t bear to part entirely, her breaths coming out in soft pants, face flushed a deep shade of red. she’s never been left speechless after a kiss before, but now she struggles for words, as if she’s forgotten how to form them. it’s a long moment before she’s capable of speech, and even then, her voice cracks, raising a few octaves. ‘ yeah. no big deal. ’

#LEFTOVERFEAR #LEFTOVERFEAR : 01.#i. SHE'S LIKE A ROSE. BEAUTIFUL AND ENCHANTING BUT HER ROOTS ARE FULL OF WOUNDS. / main.#i. THREAD.#mikayla after the only kiss she's ever Actually liked: haha no big deal haha #fake

baddies

#i. EVERYTHING ABOUT HER IS CAPTIVATING. LIKE THE AFTERMATH OF A STORM. / visage.#i. SHE HAD LAVENDER IN HER HAIR AND ROSES ON HER CHEEK. / aesthetic.#imagine her hair was curled + this would be her :/#i'm done now.

rebuy:

*jokingly hits on you but means it 100%*

#MIKAYLA @ EVERY GIRL EVER #i hate this !#i. THERE WERE GIRLS WHO WOULD TEAR YOU APART WITH THEIR LIPS. / study.

sunbruise.

❝ it’s worth seeing you two fight . she’d rather be trampled to death , though . ❞ he did not speak with a bite , rather nonchalance and disinterest . they had crossed the forest and arrived near a barely visible road , and the only way that had been evident was because of the faint glow that emitted from kenneth . other than that , the sky seemed content being eerily dark . nearing the other boy was familiar by now , because he didn’t have to pause to consider his blade or doubt his loyalty . even more so , he considered disappearing at the first sign that she was not paying attention to their whereabouts and wondered if ace would abandon her as quickly as he would right about now .

he was stained by blood and his muscles were fatigued , wanting nothing more than the comfort of a shower and camp jupiter and a friend who did not wish immediate death upon him . ❝ you can go back , i guess . we don’t mind . ❞ neither did sonja . it was clear in more ways that one that the duo’s presence only played into mikayla’s contempt , and she did not seem one bit pleased that they were united . whether it was bad for her or them , was up for toss .

“ really? i’d love to arrange that for you, princess. ” if mikayla didn’t regret following ken before, she definitely does now. the boy’s comment is met with nothing more than an irritated scowl, defined brows knitting together as her foot crushes ace’s own. he only reacts with an irritated grimace, but considering this is the very same boy tattooed with gruesome scars, mikayla didn’t expect much more. she’s familiar with the murderous glare that shines in the tallest’s eyes, but she only greets the glare with a beaming grin, trusting that she’s too beautiful for him to consider harming. hopefully.

‘ unless you two want to walk home, i’m the best chance you have at getting a ride. nobody in their right mind would stop for either of you. ’ a glance is tossed ace’s way, accompanied by a frown. ‘ since for some reason, your camaro’s never around when it’s convenient. ’ though she’s decided to block out ace’s voice, deciding that ken is the least annoying of the pair, he comments, “ i wouldn’t let you in it anyway. ” there’s a lingering thought that if she really wanted in the vehicle, her words would leave him with little choice, but it’s a waste of breath to argue with him. mikayla starts toward the road, intentionally tugging her tattered shirt down until even more cleavage is shown, touseling her hair back. ‘ when some pathetic âne stops for me, one of you are going to have to toss him out. ’ with the power of pursuasion that exists in his tongue, there’s really no need for violence, but she figures it might amuse them. children.

#SUNBRUISE #SUNBRUISE : 01.#FT. ARSNIST #i. SHE'S LIKE A ROSE. BEAUTIFUL AND ENCHANTING BUT HER ROOTS ARE FULL OF WOUNDS. / main.#i. THREAD.#why are they all just... criminals #2 Murderers 1 Thief #anyway tag urself i'm ken considering leaving her ass

leftoverfear.

❝ like i said, i won’t do it for just anyone. ❞ it’s a small hint that there’s a reason audrey has no issue giving up free tickets to her. she’s quick to notice the way her face floods, almost worrying that she’s said too much or taken it too far, but as she replays her words in her head, she decides that maybe it’s the opposite, that mikayla likes the idea ( and for audrey’s sake, she hopes that’s the case. ) she almost finishes the sentence for her —– DATE, but as soon as her mouth opens, mikayla’s finishing it off herself. ❝ yeah, dude, it’ll be fun. all the popcorn you can eat, too. on me. ❞ on the house, but it’s more personal if she insists it’s thanks to her. she rolls her eyes, head shaking slightly. ❝ yeah, lucky for me, i usually know how to pick my dates well. ❞ not that THIS is a date ( if it was, audrey would go above and beyond for her —– the theater isn’t the place to do that well. ) ❝ but hey, i’ll make note of that. apparently no one else has. ❞

‘ that’s a relief. i’d hate to be just one out of many girls you’ve given a free ticket to. ’ although she sounds teasing, there is some truth to her words, feeling an inexplicable sense of annoyance from the thought of audrey watching a movie alone with anyone else. maybe she’s just a territorial person, even when it comes to people that are clearly nothing more than a friend. ‘ there’s no such thing as picking a good date when all you date are boys. ’ she knows that’s not entirely true; not all boys are self-absorbed and arrogant, but those she wastes her time with typically are. it’s her fault, because she already knows their type before they even open their mouths, but so long as they look good next to her, she doesn’t matter. she’s not really interested in any of them, regardless of whether they’re good or not. ‘ why would you –––– ’ she’s cut off with a nervous laugh, one she tries to mask as humor. ‘ why would you make note of that unless you want to –––– never mind. ’

#LEFTOVERFEAR #LEFTOVERFEAR : 002.#i. SHE'S LIKE A ROSE. BEAUTIFUL AND ENCHANTING BUT HER ROOTS ARE FULL OF WOUNDS. / main.#i. THREAD.#mikayla desousa: good at talking to boys but ! fucking terrible @ talking to girls #honestly me except that i dont even look at boys

sunbruise.

the funny thing was , he had let his weapon slip away purposefully . mikayla pulled it to her side and used it to butcher the bull thoroughly , its metal parts scrambling around with electric wires flailing like vine traps . sparks flew near her ankles but she seemed wholly unbothered by the demise of the robotic creature , and when silence fell and their faces were met once more , he shifted onto his heels and strode forward . in one swap , he snatched his death swinger back and furrowed his brows , an irritated glance around the bronze shards of the beast and then the signature , disinterested stare towards the girl . ❝ okay . ❞

a glance around , and his hearing confirmed there was no immediate threat in their surroundings . with the colchis bulls decapitated and dismantled , it left them with remnants that could prove useful . with the edge of his scythe’s blade he crouched beside the fallen parts and wafted the mechanics around until he found bronze and silver at the heart of the beast . around the neck side and throat were nails of gold . stuffing them into his pocket , he rose to his full height and shook his scythe , and with a small gleam it reverted back into a set of dog tags . winding them around his neck , he edged back towards the forest . ❝ you coming ? wolves around here . might eat you alive . ❞

to his delight , sonja wheeled into sight just a few steps from the colchis chaos to prove his point , incase his companion assumed he was frightening her for kicks . always the unfriendly , the white wolf circled around the lot with her sharp teeth snapping towards mikayla . she did not behave completely ushered even as kenneth’s fingers found the fur at the back of her neck , craning her interest elsewhere before her stomach growled a bit too much with excitement . her impatient demeanour confirmed something else , too . ❝ ace must be near by . let’s go before something else shows up . ❞

with the threat of the bull gone, her attention is quick to shift back to something far more important, fingers carding through her hair, acting as the closest thing to a brush she has as of right now. she’ll steal one somewhere soon enough. only faintly does she hear kenneth’s warning, clearly uninterested, convinced she could easily take care of herself. even when the boy’s wolf emerges from the forest, she only responds with a brief tensing of her muscles, hand drawing the slightest bit nearer to her pocket, holding the tube of lipstick that would easily morph back into her knife once more if need be.

her hand abandons mass of dark curls once she’s satisfied enough, reddened lips curling into a frown of distaste at the mention of the other boy, one even more intolerable than the one standing before her now. ‘ on second thought, i’d love to wait here. i’d rather be trampled to death than deal with ace emerson. ’ she’s joking, for the most part, though there are times when death sounds more inviting than the misery that cloaks the other boy. still, she starts forward anyway, deciding that if she were to die, it would be when her hair was properly fixed.

it doesn’t take long until they stumble upon the other demigod, ace looking as brooding and arrogant as ever. mikayla’s lips part to voice her own irritation, but the tallest demigod beats her to it. “ fuck, why’d you have to bring her? ” the daughter of aphrodite’s eyes roll, a hand reaching to pinch at the bridge of her nose. dealing with ken was headache-inducing enough as it is; adding ace to the only equation only worsens it. ‘ i’m starting to miss the bull. ’

#SUNBRUISE #SUNBRUISE : 01.#FT. ARSNIST #i. SHE'S LIKE A ROSE. BEAUTIFUL AND ENCHANTING BUT HER ROOTS ARE FULL OF WOUNDS. / main.#i. THREAD.#'' i'd rather be trampled to deal than deal with ace emerson ''#the most Relatable thing that will ever come out of mikayla's mouth

danielwing

the world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold.

#i. SHE HAD LAVENDER IN HER HAIR AND ROSES ON HER CHEEK. / aesthetic.#i. THERE WERE GIRLS WHO WOULD TEAR YOU APART WITH THEIR LIPS. / study.

leftoverfear.

head tilts up slightly, mind dissecting each of her words, always reading into everything a little too far ( but only because she wants to give herself a reason to feel what she’s feeling, so maybe she won’t feel so crazy. ) ❝ yeah, but —- my opinion doesn’t really matter. ❞ does it? she can’t imagine why it would, even if it might matter to her, knowing that she valued her thoughts that way. ❝ i mean, wouldn’t you be more interested in what any guy in here thinks —– ? ❞ not even she would be if her mind wasn’t already preoccupied with her. but still, she’s only trying to talk herself out of all of this, telling herself that mikayla could find anyone else that holds her interest more than her.

she notices the way her face darkens slightly, her own following. maybe if they share one kiss, something simple, she can put all these thoughts to rest and convince herself it’s all just in her head. that’s all she needs, she keeps telling herself. ❝ that’s what people come here to do, right? kiss other people, forget about it the next day? ❞ except she won’t forget. she could never forget any moment with mikayla, especially one like that —– a kiss, the first one of what she hopes might be many, but she won’t expect too much. she gulps hard as she’s tugged in closer, lips quietly letting out a gasp as their lips crash together. her hand finds her neck, thumb lightly brushing against his jaw as she kisses her back. heart beats all too quickly, her face sure to be covered in a dark shade of red whenever they pull away. but she doesn’t plan on letting that happen anytime soon, making an effort to deepen the kiss and make the most of it while it lasts, lips meshing against hers and attempting to hold back the smile that desperately wants to form.

‘ please. if it didn’t matter, i wouldn’t ask. ’ she hopes it sounds like a general statement, as if it applies to everybody, although really, it doesn’t. so often she’s asked for validation from people whose opinions she didn’t genuinely care for, but she does care for hayden’s. ‘ uh, yeah, no. i could find a stupid boy anywhere. there’s only one of you. besides, if they don’t think i’m hot, they’re probably blind. ’ translation: mikayla only cares about what hayden thinks, not anyone else. not in this particular moment, anyway. ‘ yeah, i guess that’s what they do. ’ it’s what she does, though it’s usually out of a pathetic attempt to get herself to feel something, as if she might finally find a boy capable of making her feel the way she does now; so far, it’s only been the other girl that’s able to create the mesh of butterflies in her stomach.

–––– she’s kissed plenty of boys before, but they all feel insignificant, especially compared to this kiss. even her first kiss, shared with a boy she could hardly even remember, dulls in comparison; all she’d felt afterward was disappointment anyway, all because it didn’t feel like this. this wasn’t supposed to mean anything, wasn’t supposed to be anything more than a way to prove to herself that she doesn’t like girls; instead, it’s the exact opposite. she doesn’t want it to end, even if she knows it has to, and so she only pulls hayden in closer, her lips moving less tentatively against the other’s, the confidence she so often carries finding it’s way into the kiss. teeth graze against her bottom lip, her head craning to the side to further deepen the embrace, a soft sigh of relief released into the kiss.

#LEFTOVERFEAR #LEFTOVERFEAR : 01.#i. SHE'S LIKE A ROSE. BEAUTIFUL AND ENCHANTING BUT HER ROOTS ARE FULL OF WOUNDS. / main.#i. THREAD.#lame

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