B

For my rants, thoughts, and others

[letmebeinouterspace]

2020 let’s get this bread

[abnormall]

i hate myself. so so much. i hate my personality, i hate my body, i hate my voice, i hate how im lazy, i hate how i cry myself to sleep. i hate the things i say, i hate the things i eat. i hate how i have no ambitions, i hate how i want my life to be better but i dont want to get better. i hate how i want to die, but cant bring myself to do it. i hate myself. i loathe who i am and its not going to change.

[letmebeinouterspace]

Waking up for sure on some days are harder then others.

[letmebeinouterspace]

But honestly I basically relapse.

[letmebeinouterspace]

Well now when I went to the doctors I weighed 122. So... yeah.

[letmebeinouterspace]

2 sandwich’s-592

1 smoothie-320

[letmebeinouterspace]

I want to weight 120 then I think i will be happy about that.

[letmebeinouterspace]

2 slices of bread-120

Swiss cheese-70

Pickles- 0

Avocado spread-50

2 turkey slices ff-50

Cabbage- 6

My sandwich total-296

[letmebeinouterspace]

I’m just so confused...

[letmebeinouterspace]

Went to the doctors appointment today, weighed 123.4

[letmebeinouterspace]

I got sick and puked.

That feels different especially when your freaking sick

[letmebeinouterspace]

It’s literally taking everything in me not to purge my food I just ate

[letmebeinouterspace]

Okay so I weigh 123-124 but I ate so much today that now I’m paranoid

[letmebeinouterspace]

I’m scared of myself

[letmebeinouterspace]

The urge to purge is screaming in my ear

[letmebeinouterspace]

I’ve had 2 peanut butter sandwich’s!! TWO! I’m freaking out... the bread is high in calories😭

It’s also crazy like add everything I ate today then being able to know how much you burn off is crazy... along with our brains burn 300 calories in a day

[letmebeinouterspace]

I’m starting to regret eating that granola bar😭 I’m now so paranoid