Melancholy Sunshine

Life has its up's, down's, and in between! Here you will find some of the thoughts and ramblings of a 30-something NY transplant now living in the Sunshine State

[letmefixmycrown]

Wishing I was back in NY to celebrate today with friends, some good music, and a Pint -  Missing my Irish buddies !

[letmefixmycrown]

You Will Regret It

The validity of my personal decision not to enter ‘The Motherhood Club’ is often questioned by The Mothers, Maidens and Crones in my Life. “You will regret it” is a phrase I regularly hear at this age (38 years young!), followed by what they feel to be wise advice for me. It is not said to be harsh, or upset me. They truly think they will be saving me from the eventual regret and heartache our society has claimed to be the appropriate emotions to be placed on my shoulders for personally choosing to step outside the box of ‘normalcy’.

Motherhood, we have been led to believe, is essential to womanhood. If one decides to opt out of becoming a Mother, our lives tend to be seen as less meaningful as others who have followed the expected path doing so. From a young age we are placed under the impression that this life changing moment will open our eyes to what our Life’s true meaning is, and it will fill any and all voids we may feel we may have in our life.

Why is the decision not to become a Mother the only one we seem to question? Why do we not worry about the possibility of an individual regretting HAVING children - especially since so many travel down this path solely because of heavy cultural expectations and pressures. I can personally say that I have had girlfriends genuinely confide in me explaining how they love their children, but wish they were in my shoes of being ‘childless’. That they miss their ‘freedom’ to love their life solely in what would bring them personal happiness, and to not have experienced being passed over for certain career/personal opportunities in life solely because they were a Mother. The void of being un-fulfilled in life still exists for them, just in a different capacity of having made decisions that were expected and pressured by our society.

I’d be lying to say I never had a day where I question if I am making the right decision - but those are honestly few and far between (and tend to come at more emotional points of my monthly cycles haha). I just personally wish there wasn’t this divide and pressure for following a certain path as a woman. Maybe in a generation or two it will be more accepted and not questioned....