Im Not Here To Start Shit Im Here To End Shit

21 year old gay trans man, I’ve been out for 4 years and on hormones for 3. Here to talk about the trans mlm experience from a perspective of inclusion and self acceptance

[letsdothisbaybee6]

This blog is trans inclusive, this includes nb people.

I made this blog because I feel like a lot of younger trans men have problems coping with their identity and experiences in healthy ways and this often manifests as insecurity and then as ideologies such as transmedicalsim and nb exclusionism.

Most of this is about mlm discourse and trans issues but anyone is welcome to reblog and/or interact as long as we all agree to place more value on informed perspectives.

While I made this blog because I noticed this disturbing trend among young trans people I have a strict no harassment of minors policy. Especially if you are an adult, you should never, under any circumstances ever harass a minor. I will not dm minors, I will not respond to minors who dm me. I will reply publicly to asks and that is all.

Minors should never be alone in spaces with a single adult and this includes online spaces. Furthermore adults should not take advantage of their life experience and knowledge in order to tear down a minor online. Yes minors frequently get up to problematic things online, but this does not excuse you targeting them.

Any “callout” posts made here will never be directed at specific people, but broader online culture/trends.

This blog may occasionally talk very bluntly about the trans mlm experience, some people may find this upsetting, this is perfectly fine, I will do my best to tag posts accordingly.

While I can only speak from the perspective of a passing, gay, binary trans man I value other perspectives. Please feel free to send information my if you feel it might help.

[letsdothisbaybee6]

I’ve been seeing shit like this going around lately

People are making fun of it and I think that’s great, but I’m gonna talk straight to the people who post this unironically for a moment.

This gonna be about trans mlm.

Hello I am a binary gay trans man, I have been out and transitioned for several years, I have dated cis and trans gay men, I have experienced homophobia, I have been in the real life gay community interacting with older gay people for a while now.

No cis gay men think like this.

Sure there are a couple exlcusionist assholes, but ignoring them the vast majority of people who post stuff like this are young insecure trans men who are so desperate to feel validated that they will go out of their way to make other trans people feel like shit.

New flash excluding non binary people does not make you any more of a man.

Some trans men will feel a knee-jerk reaction of disgust to some nb people because they can’t fathom the idea of being comfortable in that sort of identity or presentation, but that’s a you problem.

Gay men in real life don’t give two shits about nb people interacting with mlm content online. It is stupid to care so much about this.

I see these posts and I think “well that trans guy isn’t secure in his masculity”. This is like the trans equivalent of a fragile straight man who refuses to wear the color pink because it’s “too gay”. (I’m not implying that your not trans I’m implying that you need to get over yourself)

Like I get it I get it. Sometimes I might post something about my real life gay experiences online and some rando will tag it yaoi and I’ll throw up a little. But nblm are not the same as straight women festishists. They have their own experiences, their own lives, and the fact that some people claim to know more about another persons identity than that person themselves is arrogant.

Ok yes, people have their preferences (personally I only date men with enough body hair to give me rug burn) but you don’t need to date nb people, you don’t need to find more feminine or androgynous presenting people attractive, and they aren’t asking you to. But you do need to respect them as people and understand that the way they experience their sexuality has no impact on the way you experience yours. Nb people are not straight women trying to worm their way into the mlm community. And if a gay man wants to date a nb person that shouldn’t invalidate his sexuality, there is no point in subscribing to these rigid definitions of what is and isn’t gay, it’s not helping anyone. Gate keeping isn’t making the community a better more loving place, it’s doing the opposite.

And sure someone is gonna reply to this post like “oh this one nb person harassed me once, oh this nb person wanted to date me and wouldn’t take no for an answer” but isolated incidents like these are not indicative of how the nblm community functions as a whole, problematic people should be dealt with on a case by case basis. It is not an excuse to exclude or harass nblm people as a whole.