Some people are so eager to be famous. To be known. I have many such friends. They think professional success is everything. They are more active on LinkedIn than all other social media platforms combined. They have to put out every thing they do and dress it like an achievement so wonderful. Most times, I cheer for them. But some other times it irks me. Because to be known like that? To be loved like that? For what you do with your education and career? For how well you prepare to be the best? What is the point in that. Of course, I want to be known too. But not in that way. I want to be known intimately by people I want to know intimately. I've never had the desire to be 'famous'. Known, yes, for who I am. Accepted for who I am. Understood. That's a whole different kind of want. A different desire. And if I were to ever get 'famous' I'd not take it seriously. I am not a clone of conventions and achievements. Those who want me for that will also kick me for the same when I don't live up to this mirage of greatness I have created. Nothing you ever do is novel or unique. Doesn't mean you don't do things. Please, by all means, go ahead and do every single thing you like. But to do it because you want to come across as someone novel and unique? To come across as this high flier, neurotic personality A person? I don't understand those priorities. Those are the kind of people that have a mid life crisis and realise that their life hasn't truly been fulfilling. The ones who need to do some soul searching. Find meaning. Slow down. Take in the moment. Feel joy. I am not talking about you. I don't know you. Don't take this personally. I am talking about those I know. Not like I have a fulfilling life. Not like I'm not already having a quarter life crisis before I'm even 25. Not like the last 1.5 year in its entirety wasn't a crisis. But I'd like to believe that this, all of this suffering and soul searching, I am going through, that I have gone through and will ever go through will be of a different kind. It was never about proving to others that I am worthy and that they should love me. It's about proving to myself that I am so precious and very much worthy of all my love and affection and consideration. And then some more. You may say it's sad that I have to prove this to myself. I'll tell you that life is all about proving. Who we prove to, well that's on us. And I quite like my pick.
