analysing tskym using laufey's songs pt.1 - Magnolia
Magnolia, she could have anyone in the world Floats around town in a golden gown Born in a castle on a cloud
It's kind of late in my time zone, so this will be a short one!
It was very obvious - even before this panel - that Tadashi admired Tsukki. On their first meeting, Tadashi witnessed how Tsukki was capable of saying whatever he wanted in front of the bullies who had tormented Tadashi. He called them lame, without any hint of fear. It was three versus one, yet Kei didn't hesitate to speak his mind.
Magnolia, prettiest girl that I know Stars in her eyes, handpicked from the skies Beautiful soul
And even after they discovered that Akiteru wasn't Karasuno's ace, Yamaguchi still admired Tsukki. It really shows how, despite Tsukki himself putting all his worth and his brother's on the supposed position Akiteru occupied in Karasuno, Tadashi thought Tsukki's coolness went far beyond that.
It's on the way he talks, and walks and stands. Yamaguchi wanted to be someone like that. And he oh so admired Tsukki - but he also envied him. Deeply.
How can I compete with her? Perfection is the only word I think of when I think of Magnolia
It's very possible that Yamaguchi has insecurities about his appearance. After all that bullying he endured as a kid, it wouldn't really be a surprise for anyone. Tsukki canonically is popular with girls, he receives tons of valentines letters, you get the gist. I don't think Yamaguchi is unpopular, but he definitely doesn't have the same popularity than his best friend.
Even if Tsukki is much more introverted, closed off - he still does better than him. Again, without even really trying.
And Yamaguchi gets it. Really, he gets it. Because he admires and thinks Tsukki is so cool exactly for those reasons. It wouldn't make sense if he got upset because others see the same he sees in Tsukki.
...but, still.
Magnolia, she can move oceans and rivers with ease A word from her lips, her sirens kiss Will send you straight into abyss
A major part of Yamaguchi's character is that he, unlike Hinata, Kageyama, unlike Tsukishima - he doesn't have that same...talent? Innate hability? Whatever it is, he doesn't have it at the start. Kageyama has been training his whole life. Hinata has been diligent for years and for that he has an amazing physique. Tsukki? He has the height and a great game sense.
Despite how much he would like to, Tadashi doesn't have that.
Magnolia, I wish she'd give her secrets away Enchants everyone and I think it'd be fun To be like her someday
And if he doesn't have that, well, it seems that there is no other way out of that other than working hard, right?
That is what makes Tadashi such a great character for me. People often say he is the most realistic, but I honestly think that characters like Tsukki are. Because Tadashi and Tsukki are different sides of the same coin. They both feel inferior. But the way Yamaguchi handles it is much more mature and freaking cool than Tsukki's.
Tsukki gave up. Tadashi didn't. Despite the great disadvantage he had, Tadashi didn't quit. Because he wants to be proud of himself.
And Tsukki...Kei has everything that Tadashi would like to have. He is cool, he is tall, he is hard skinned, he speaks his mind. And yet...and yet...
I do think that, despite how much he loved him, Tadashi had to be resentful of Kei at least for a moment. But not because of envy or jealousy, because Tadashi is the type of person that will work for what he wants.
It's because Tsukki doesn't try - and what used to be such a cool thing becomes lame. Because Tadashi knows that, deep down, Tsukki would like to be better.
That is what is so annoying. That is what is so frustrating. Because Tadashi would like to have those things but guess what? He does not. And who gives a damn? He'll just work and bust his ass until he gets them. That's it.
But Kei has everything, the smarts, the height, the passion...but he stops himself before he gets too carried away.
However, Tadashi trusts Tsukki will make it. It is evident by this panel how much Tadashi knows Tsukki will make it.
...
If anyone were to write tskym angst, I think this way would be great. Imagine being resentful to the person you love?
There's also one part of me that is sure that Tsukki also resented Tadashi simultaneously. I wrote a bit about that in one of my past posts, but I'll explain it better in the next one.
Thanks for reading!
