The Prologue

My name is Abby. I am dedicated to nothing but kindness and forgiveness. I am working on myself and this is the place I am going to do it.

[letters-to-no-one-from-me]

I still put my finger over the moon; as if you were still out there thinking of me too.

[letters-to-no-one-from-me]

I think there’s something beautiful about saying you broke me. It lets everyone else know there was once wholeness where there are shards.

Me

[letters-to-no-one-from-me]

It doesn’t matter that he burned me or that he’ll burn me again. Have you ever felt the flames after the cold?

[letters-to-no-one-from-me]

I saw your picture today and it hurt.

I saw your picture three months ago and it burned.

I saw your picture a year ago and I stopped breathing for a moment.

I saw your picture two years ago and it ignited my heart.

Things change; and yet, your picture stays the same.

[letters-to-no-one-from-me]

I would give entire pieces of my life to have you for ten more minutes. I would surrender, not just my body, but the years to come to surround myself one more time in the warmth of your voice and the sense of uninvited advice that inexplicably paid off.

[letters-to-no-one-from-me]

Your loss is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to carry and no one ever bothers to see me struggling under the weight that grieving you has given me.

[letters-to-no-one-from-me]

[letters-to-no-one-from-me]

I don’t care what you say, my broken heart aches in my chest ages after it was shattered.

[letters-to-no-one-from-me]

It’s so fucking important to tell people you love them

[letters-to-no-one-from-me]

There’s a world in which we got to be together again, just one last time (I know I can’t ask for the world). We get to hold hands and touch our foreheads together the way we used to. We talk about the faes, the gods, music, where we’re going to go next…

There’s this world out there where I never had to lose you. And just once a year I think it would be better to be there.

[letters-to-no-one-from-me]

[letters-to-no-one-from-me]

I swear that getting to love you… for that short period of time you were here on earth with me was a gift from the gods that I will never be able to repay.

On your 30th birthday, I drink to you. And hope whatever comes after this life treats you the way you deserve to be treated. And no matter what happens beyond this realm, I hope you know I loved you.

[letters-to-no-one-from-me]

I may not be a lot of things but I would go to the grave for the people I love.

[letters-to-no-one-from-me]

I just don’t think you can look at someone you truly love and ask them to choose you over their dreams. I don’t think you become a barrier even if it means you move to the sidelines.

[letters-to-no-one-from-me]

“It’s okay to move forward; it’s okay to stumble backwards”

[letters-to-no-one-from-me]

We can pretend all we want that something isn’t wrong; but at the end of the day, when you’re alone, you feel it the harshest.

[letters-to-no-one-from-me]

Someday you’re going to understand what it feels like and I hate it because I’ve known this pain so long now it’s knitted into my DNA like it fucking belongs there.

I wouldn’t wish this on my enemy and I certainly wouldn’t wish it on you. You deserve so much more than this.