Letters of Encouragement

Letters of Encouragement started out as a TWLOHA street team order I participated in a few years ago where we were asked to write an encouraging letter that would be sent to those in inpatient and outpatient programs. At the time, I was using these street team orders as an outlet. I was struggling/had been struggling with self harming addictions, depression, abuse, rts/ptsd, eating disorders, etc. and was at a place where I desperately needed a life line. I consider myself lucky for seeing this project because it has blossomed in several areas in my life, it gave me a way to not be a victim of my past or my emotional/mental health. It opened my eyes to the fact that our worst times can be the motivation for some of the best things we experience in life and that there is immense healing to be found in trying to help others. The project has grown over the past years, allowing me to write and exchange letters with local programs, rehabs, and shelters. This motivated the creation of this blog; originally intended to share letters of encouragement to any that might need them written by bloggers that care. It's now morphed into an advice blog that is dedicated to posts to let you know that you are not alone. That you matter to people, that you are strong and beautiful, that the pain & chaos you're feeling right now is temporary because there is healing, help, and hope available. What's more, you deserve that healing, that ability to live a life free from whatever burden you're carrying. I'm here to help in any way that I can. I do have counseling experience but a lot of the advice I give comes from things I've learned in my own process of recovery or experiences I've had. Please feel free to rant to me, ask any questions you might have, or tell me your stories. I will gladly listen without judgement and provide any advice or info that I can. I accept anon & non-anon questions but if you'd like to be replied to privately please let me know in the question. You can also submit your own letter of encouragement if you want, all letters are appreciated. We just ask that you keep them free of potential triggers and that they are heartfelt and honest. When you submit a letter your blog will be added to the blogs that care page with a link to the letter you sent in and a link to your blog. Please submit letters instead of sending them in ask form. Stay strong ♥

[vodkakilledtheteen]

I hope one day Your human body Is not a jail cell, Instead it’s a sunny 2pm garden with daisies Thriving because of Self love.

Alexa Evangelista (via knittings)

[coastline-haze-blog]

At points, very wonderful and sometimes rather elusive points, in your life you will be lucky enough to encounter someone that has the strongest spirit you’ve ever witnessed or the sweetest laugh you’ve ever heard. 

Cherish these points, let them overwhelm you with happiness, fierceness, fire, softness, etc. We often let the overwhelming presence in our lives be stress and anxiety and rarely allow room for us to be overwhelmed by the sublime presence of the people we stumble upon. 

I believe that, when we’re open to that presence, life will never fail to astound and bewilder. We’ll live a life in which, at the end, we can not only say that we’ve lived but that we’ve witnessed life and took time to appreciate the art of those around us. The point being that we all contain art, C. It’s easy to miss sometimes but it’s always awesome to find. 

- Letters To My Little Cousin

(I started a journal a couple years ago where I’d write quotes, notes, lyrics, you name it to my little cousin. Initially I didn’t really know where I was going with it. Eventually it began to be a work in progress that showed my own emotional growth and inspirations. I hope to pass on the project to her when she’s 13 with the primary message being that we’re all continuously growing and learning and I hope with as much sincerity as my heart can contain that she always seeks to do both. This was my most recent entry, surprisingly written on a rather terrible day that ended with an encounter I doubt I’ll forget.) 

[lettersofencouragement-blog]

A year ago, me and a guy I really love were good friends. We talked all the time and I never got bored, I could stay awake a whole night just to talk with him! (oh yes, I did this :) ). But now, he ignores me for I don't know what reason. He didn't tell me and he doesn't reply to my messages. I love him so much, I can give anything just to talk with him again. Last summer, he asked me if I have feelings for him and I denied it. What should I do? He doesn't reply to my messages.

Hi, lovely. I think he might just be trying to move on/protect his feelings because he believed you when you denied your feelings for him. I understand that it's daunting to admit your feelings but it's also very daunting to put yourself out there with someone you care about. Having experienced rejection from you, him ignoring you might just be his way of coping with it. 

You might try talking with him, letting him know why you denied how you felt and what you currently feel for him. But I'll be honest with you, you might not get anywhere with him. People handle hurt, rejection, and the insecurities one or both tend to shine a spotlight on differently depending on their emotional and mental ability to cope with certain situations. Him closing off is a classic sign of being hurt or embarrassed, so he might not be open to moving forward with you. All you can really do is be honest and see how things work out. 

I wish you the best. 

[brightandclean]

[lettersofencouragement-blog]

On Feb 28, my boyfriend committed suicide. He had been diagnosed with depression since he knew he was adopted. My friends and I tried talking it out with him without panicking, but it didn't help. He and I have been dating for 2 months. He was the first boy I have fell in love with. We were also in a long distance relationship. He was American and I'm Canadian. Since his death, I feel devastated and broken. But I feel like I can't show how his death affects me. Is this normal?

I'm very sorry for your loss. Grief is a process, one that takes support and time. For the sake of your mental and emotional health, you need to be able to be open about his death affecting you. 

It's true that some people won't understand your grief or be able to identify with your situation, but that's typical unfortunately. That doesn't need to and shouldn't sway you from reaching out however. You deserve and need support, empathy, and kindness right now so that you can work through everything you're feeling in a safe and healthy way. 

I'd suggest that you start seeing a therapist. As I mentioned before, grief is a process. When tragedy strikes and we lose someone important to us, it brings up a lot of junk. It's important to pull all of that junk up and out so that we can acknowledge it, cope with it, and move past it. Something that's pretty hard to do when you're in the thick of it unless you have someone that's trained to hear you and give help and guidance when necessary. 

In the meantime, because it's not usually a quick draw scenario when you're looking for a good therapist that you feel comfortable with, I'd also suggest you call Hopeline (1-800-442-4673) if you find yourself overwhelmed and/or struggling. It's important to have immediate avenues you can reach out to when things get too heavy to carry on your own and I've found, personally and as a counselor, that it often helps if one of those avenues is one in which we can be vocal about what we're struggling with. 

Please remember that your loss and your feelings are valid, it will take time to get through this but you will be able to, and you have every right to reach out for help in order to make that happen. Please take care of yourself and treat yourself with patience, kindness, love, and respect during this time. I wish you the best. 

[wordsaresinging]

My darling, you are allowed to fail without being a failure. You are allowed to make mistakes without becoming one. More opportunities will present themselves, you will find hope again.

rustyvoices (via wordsaresinging)

[lettersofencouragement-blog]

Hi I'm very sad. My dad makes me promise to "just have one and keep it down" before he buys me food. It hurt so much to hear him say that, like he sees my disorder and not me. Like I do it on purpose? I think I'm about to relapse. I think I'm gonna lie about it.

Hi, love. I definitely get the frustration you're feeling but I think your ED might be skewing your judgement on this. That's what our disorders do. They warp how we cope with and think about things so that anything and everything can become a new trigger, a new reason to jump out of recovery and back into harming ourselves. I think there's a couple things you need to know before giving up on the progress you've made:

1. Your recovery is not and will never be about your dad. It's about you and your ability to live a healthy and fulfilling life in which you show yourself respect, love, forgiveness, and care. That's the only thing that can keep the fire going, keep you strong enough to fight through this. Do it for you. Do it because you have to logically be aware of what you're really going to do to your body and your life if you go back to your disorder. Do it because you want better for yourself even if you don't think you deserve it. Because eventually you'll get to a place where you'll realize that you do deserve it and you were worth the fight all along. 

2. Parents are just people. They make mistakes and sometimes they run into things they just don't know how to cope with/process. Realizing that the child you brought into this world is struggling mentally, emotionally, physically and is hurting so desperately that they're harming themselves is a big blow to take on. Some parents just completely shut it down and ignore it, some get overly protective, etc.. For him to to repetitively ask you to promise him this before he gets you food I'm thinking it's the latter. I think he desperately wants to have some reassurance that you're getting better and that, partnered with his limited understanding of eating disorders and what it really feels like to have one, has given him a lot of fear and insecurities.

It's not right for him to put that on you because yes, it can be very triggering and it can bring all your insecurities surrounding your ED up to the surface. But it's kind of like a parent always asking a kid to put on their seat belt because they were in an accident once. The kid knows to wear a seatbelt and being asked every single time gets annoying fast. The kid might even think their parent thinks they're too stupid to remember the seatbelt and they might feel hurt. But on the parent's end, they're just trying to get their child through life protected and safe and even the hint of a thought of losing that child to something they can't control is terrifying. 

Your dad can't control your ED, he can't make it go away like the boogeyman in your closet or find a quick fix. Feeling powerless like that with your kid is daunting to say the least. You end up feeling like you're lacking; did you cause this, is your child (because yes, they will always see you as their child) struggling so much with this because you're a horrible parent, how can you protect them, how can you fix this? So they fall back on something like this, asking them to promise that they'll eat their food and keep it down or something similar. Again, it's not right and I know it's triggering but it's his inadequate way of trying. 

So, with both of these things in mind, I'd suggest you talk with him. Tell him what you need and want in your relationship when it comes to your recovery. That you realize he might be scared and/or worried but this particular thing that he's doing is hindering your progress and has become extremely triggering because it makes you doubt yourself and doubt his faith in you to get through this. Come to a compromise on what he can do to help you and what you can do to give him some reassurance. And then give yourself and him some time to readjust and work things out. 

[likeafieldmouse-deactivated2015]

Character, like a photograph, develops in darkness.

Yousuf Karsh  (via wolfandmay)

[lettersofencouragement-blog]

I've recently felt like.. something was wrong. I feel like something's not right. I get piss, upset, or just burdened with anxiety over extremely little things, even if it's just saying "Hey I bet it would help if you did ___ instead of ___", I either get mad or start mentally kicking myself for being stupid. Even when I tell myself it's just a little thing to help me, I start bashing myself for being so sensitive and over-reactive to such small things, which only leads to... (part 1)

and thoughts of making up reasons why others hate me, which even though they say they don’t, I never believe it. I feel like I’m just an emotional burden to my parents and my friends, for all I do is pester them and get upset when they tell me to stop, even if it’s just a “no”. I’m just extremely and stupidly sensitive about shit, and whenever I want to talk about it, scream, or just cry for a bit, I go back to thinking things like “You’re so weak”, “Stop burdening people who... (part 2)

..talking to someone like a therapist or a counselor, or else I’ll start making up stories just to make shit sound worse, even though I’m most likely just over reacting again. I just feel like a stupidly sensitive and extremely over reactive piece of shit, and I don’t know what to do. (part 4 / end, sorry if I mixed up the numbers or skipped something)

Hey, love. I do think you miss part 3 so if I'm missing some vital info just drop me another message.

Here's the deal, in my own recovery process I've started thinking of my reactions and thoughts as layers. The first layer being the immediate reaction, for example: someone says something to me and I get insecure, sad, angry, stressed, etc.. The second layer is the root cause of my reaction, another example: I feel insecure because I grew up always being told how shit I was by my abusers so criticism, even when constructive, can bring a lot of those old insecurities up to the surface. The reason I had to start thinking of it this way was because I was tripping over the same issue as you. I'd feel something and dismiss it as me being over-sensitive or stupid and that dismissal would just amp up the crap I was already feeling so I'd be one huge, insecure, mashed up mess. 

So, we break it down. We acknowledge our feelings, we look for the cause, and we work on coping both in the moment and afterwards. You're a human, love. Prone to human things like emotions, mistakes, silliness, insecurities, you name it. So you can either choose to live in this constant state of self criticism and misery or you can allow yourself the respect necessary to acknowledge your feelings and your right to have them. Only by doing the latter will you be able to break the cycle that you're currently stuck in. Emotions are not a burden, not dealing with them is the burden. Emotions in and of themselves are just human and vital if we're to experience all the possibilities available in our lives. 

When you catch yourself abusing yourself and dismissing your feelings as stupid or whatever else, take a step back. Allow yourself to focus in on why you're feeling what you are and then give yourself some options on what to do about it. Is it something you need to let go of? Okay then, have some outlets in place to help you do that like writing about it, talking with someone, going for a run, etc.. Are you feeling this way because someone said or did something that hurt you? Okay, think about how you can talk to them about it so you can address it and move past it. 

The way you talk to and feel about yourself doesn't just happen, typically. It's a learned behavior. In order to break that behavior you have to put in some work but eventually you start finding peace from the chaos of self abuse if you let yourself. 

[lettersofencouragement-blog]

This guy stopped me self harming a lot and we became my bestfriend,Me and him fell in love after 2 years of being close, a yeah ago we fell out and he told me to "fuck off" after falling for him it just seemed so stupid, i still self harm and I've tried fixing things with him but he's moved on and ignores me all the time, i just feel completely lost and he's all i ever think about. I'm sick of feeling this way, I need him but he doesn't need me. I'm still in love with him... What can i do?

Hi, love. It's rough when a relationship doesn't work out and even rougher when a falling out in a relationship messes up a friendship too. When that happens you kind of end up grieving on two fronts and that's enough to overwhelm anyone. But this wasn't just a relationship that grew from a friendship, he wasn't just your partner. He became your buffer, you're motivation to stop self harming and your crutch to lean on during the process of recovery. 

That's a very dangerous kind of relationship to be involved in when you're battling a self harming addiction. It grows toxic very easily and when/if it combusts, it tends to leave a lot of damage behind. There are self harmers who are able to have healthy, strong, and fulfilling relationships but it takes a lot of work because self harming addictions rarely stop at physical methods of harming. They also take root in self sabotaging relationships, areas of interest, school, work, etc.. 

This is why your priority has to be your safety and healing. No one can make you stop self harming; they might be able to push the pause button for a bit and give you a little freedom and happiness in the interim but it's fleeting unless you've pulled out the root cause(s) of your addiction and set about working on them. That's the only way to stop self harming for real, the only way to find peace and build up your ability to acknowledge you pain and cope with/process it in order to inspire change and healing.

Saying he stopped you from self harming is self defeating in that regard. It keeps him in focus so that the loss of that relationship is your driving force. The only way to move past that is to acknowledge that you have work to do, that you need help and healing so that you can process the emotions you still have towards him as well as all the emotions you face on a daily basis without harming yourself as a coping mechanism. And as you build up safe and healthy ways to cope with your feelings you'll find that you're able to work through the breakup, the grief, etc. and move past this experience. 

You do not need him, you want him. That's not a bad thing, it's just a symptom of a broken heart that needs some time to heal. And it will be able to heal, love. But your healing and progress is not wrapped up in or dependent upon  this past relationship with him. You just have to focus on giving yourself time, patience, acceptance, and the tools to help you take a step forward. 

I'd suggest that you talk with someone that can help you get started on a recovery plan, such as a counselor. You might already be seeing someone and, if that's the case, that's wonderful and you're already on your way to finding some balance and peace from all this. But if not, you might try talking with a counselor at the DBS hotline [phone]) or going online to http://www.dbsalliance.org/ to find some counseling options in your area that might work for you. I'd also suggest that you call the Crisis Call Center (1-800-273-8255 or text ANSWER to 839863) each and every time you feel the urge to harm yourself so that you have an in-the-moment vocal outlet you can depend on. They're open 24/7 so you'll always have someone to reach out to. 

[lettersofencouragement-blog]

My Letter To Each of You

You are more than you realize. You are strong, beautiful, and meaningful. You deserve hope, healing, happiness, and peace. 

Saying these things is not something I take lightly. It is what I’ve needed to hear at my worst moments and I hope that it can be a light for you during yours. I don’t write this letter with the belief that I’m healed and life is wonderful, I’m still struggling. But I think that’s the beauty of it. Life hands us so many different kinds of trauma and it’s easy, even natural, to turn all of that pain and chaos inwards. But the real secret behind the worst things we experience is that they are simply motivations, they are reminders that there’s something better out there. Reminders that there is balance to be had between our worst and our best. I believe you are worth finding (and sometimes fighting for) that balance. 

What I need you to remember is that you are stronger than the thoughts in your head. You are worth more that a reflection, a number, your past memories, and your scars. There is healing and hope available and each step you take will bring you closer to finding both. 

Recovery is simply the process of finding out what works for you, what gives you peace, balance, and wisdom. It is fluid and it has the ability to blossom in your life, sometimes unexpectedly. I think it seems so daunting to those first starting out for a lot of reasons, primarily because our self harming addictions and depression make it hard to believe in change and improvement. But also because we’ve been taught that recovery is a road with one entrance and one path. From this side of things, I can’t say I agree. In my opinion it is whatever works, whatever motivates you to treat yourself with forgiveness, compassion, kindness, and respect. Whatever makes you stop hiding how you really feel behind a fake smile because you think that’s what you need to present to the world. Love, you are here for one reason only: to live. You will experience pain and failures and bad days but you will also experience laughter that makes your sides hurt, love, and progress. Our disorders and struggles are manipulations, things that tell us that this depression will never end or we will never be able to stop hurting ourselves. But they don’t deserve to control your life, they are temporary. 

So whatever you’re going through, whatever problem you’re facing, please know I’m here. I’d never presume to think that I know exactly how you’re feeling but I have learned some things in my own struggles. The most important thing being that we all need help sometimes. So I’m here and if I can help in any way, I want to. I also encourage each of you to reach out in turn. I believe that there is healing in helping, that we can overcome our biggest obstacles when we allow our struggles to give us perspective and empathy for the struggles of others. There is purpose in our pain, it gives us strength and wisdom for our own lives and to share with others. In this way, we are never alone, we are never not supported. 

With hope, 

Ali

[lettersofencouragement-blog]

I am in love with my boyfriend I love him so much and he replaced me with another girl I can't stop cutting I'm so upset help

Hi, lovely. I'm very sorry that the relationship didn't work out. It's incredibly painful to lose that, even more so to lose it because a partner has decided to move on to someone else. All of those feelings of love, attraction, and even grief over the loss of the relationship don't go away until we allow ourselves to work on each of them and move past them. 

That's where you're at right now. Instead of coping and processing the overwhelming emotions and pain you're dealing with right now, you're internalizing all of it and self harming. More than likely that's what you've come to know as a coping mechanism. Shove it all down and cut yourself to take the edge off the hurt. But the truth is, wounds only lead to more wounds both physical and emotional if we don't choose to work on our issues, experiences, and emotions. Cutting yourself will never heal the pain from your breakup, it only adds to it. It won't heal the feeling of betrayal, how much you miss how things used to be, or how hard it is to move forward. It will simply give you even more pain to carry with you and prevent you from experiencing the healing, help, and happiness that come from acknowledging your feelings and working on them properly. 

I'd suggest that your first step be to call the Crisis Call Center (1-800-273-8255 or text ANSWER to 839863 ) right now. They're open 24/7 so you can call each and every time you feel the urge to harm yourself. The point being to give you a proactive outlet to depend on, one that can consistently replace the destructive need to harm yourself. This way you can train yourself both mentally and emotionally to depend on things that will heal you instead of injure you. 

I'd also suggest that you give yourself some time. When any relationship ends in any fashion we need time. There's grief in the end of things and we need some breathing room in order to process that grief and other emotions a loss brings up to the surface. Focus on taking care of yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically. Take a day off and do things you can find comfort in like writing, drawing, watching silly movies, going for a run, etc.. Whatever brings you some peace. And when the emotions bubble up, let them. Cry it out, call the call center or talk with a friend. Let yourself feel it, acknowledge it, move past it. Make that your mantra and stick with it. It's not easy but eventually the sharp edges of your grief get filed down and you're able to start building yourself back up. But cutting yourself will never lead to that progression and healing, love. So please don't allow yourself to think it will offer anything to you but more pain. 

Heartbreak isn't easy but it's necessary. It gives us room to build ourselves into who we will eventually be. It makes us look inside ourselves and find strength where there previously wasn't any. You will be able to come through this and experience better. 

[lettersofencouragement-blog]

My boyfriend told me he was raped when he was young and I lost it, I grabbed a pair of scissors and made a few tiny scratches that are gone now but I'm so afraid I'll relapse, I don't know where to turn, I've been crying for an hour, help me...

Hi, love. I definitely don't want you to relapse and I think the best thing you can do in order to not internalize the empathy and pain you feel for him and what he's experienced is to keep your focus on him. Telling someone about your abuse is a very intimate and scary thing, regardless of the relationship you have with them. As such, it should be handled as compassionately as possible. From personal experience, abuse survivors don't share their abuse with someone without a reason. You might be at a place in your relationship where he felt safe enough to share this with you and, although it's overwhelming for you, it's great that he felt the ability to talk about this. He might also be struggling with this and need acceptance from someone he feels emotionally connected with, this is also quite common and the best thing you can do is to show support and allow him to talk as much (or even as little) as he needs to. 

I get how triggering him sharing this with you is and I don't want to dismiss that. I'd strongly suggest that you talk with a counselor immediately to prevent a relapse and to go over how best to handle this with him so that you can support him without internalizing and harming yourself. 

I'm not sure if either of you are currently seeing someone or what state he's currently in with regard to his experience but I'm going to give you some contact numbers that might be able to help. I'd suggest that you call the crisis call center (1-800-273-8255 or text ANSWER to 839863 ) right now since you're currently feeling triggered and are at risk. It's good to reach out on here and if you'd like to write back in and talk about things, I'm here. But when you're facing an emotional crisis like this I tend to think it's better to have a vocal outlet where you can cry and talk things out. It usually gives me some clarity when I can let things pour out with someone, even confidentially like you'll be able to do so with the call center. I'd also suggest that you advise him to see someone if he isn't already doing so. This is simply based on my own experiences with rape/sexual abuse so I don't want to seem as if I'm speaking for him, he may be processing this in an entirely different way and he deserve to do whatever feels best to him. But a lot of times a survivor will experience a significant crash after sharing their abuse or rape with someone, especially someone they care about and have an intimate and/or physical connection with. Now he may have worked on his experiences with someone and be at a safe and healthy place right now, that's absolutely wonderful. I only share this with you so that you'll be prepared if him sharing this brings up emotions and memories that he ends up struggling with. If he does need help but he's not able or willing to go see someone you might give him the number to RAINN (1-800-656-4673). The counselors are very compassionate and honestly without them I probably wouldn't be where I am today emotionally, physically, or mentally. Even if he is seeing someone, it still might be a good number to keep on hand should he ever need it. 

The vital thing for you right now is to allow yourself to not internalize. It's okay that this is overwhelming and scary, that's the human reaction to hearing something like this from someone you care about. You're a self harmer, you understand wounds. His are pretty deep but showing him love, respect, support, and understanding can certainly help him heal. Make that your focus so that both of you can provide what the other needs and handle this together. I know it doesn't feel good but crying is okay right now, in fact I'd say it's needed. Self harmers tend to avoid a lot of emotion during and after recovery because we don't trust ourselves to deal with it. But crying and feeling empathy for him, that's normal and it's good. It simply means that your heart aches for him and you hate that he experienced something so horrible in his past. It doesn't have the power to derail your progress and it doesn't deserve to. Both of you will be able to move through this as long as you're willing to support each other. 

[lettersofencouragement-blog]

How to deal with rejection, failure, disappointment (in yourself), & self-hatred?

Hey, beautiful. First off, carrying all of the above around is basically an emotional clusterfuck. No one can really cope with all of that in one go because each of these things tends to fuel the others and it becomes a horrible cycle to be caught up in that can really derail us. 

Everyone experiences rejection. It's hard, uncomfortable, and disappointing. But the problem isn't really the rejection, it's the fact that, more often than not, people let rejection stagnate and consume them. It definitely doesn't deserve to do either. When it comes to dealing with rejection, my opinion is that you have one option: face it down and deal with it. 

That may sound like it's a lot easier said than done but I don't really think so. Not when you take into account the lasting problems and insecurities that holding onto rejection creates in your life. The easiest path by far is to allow yourself time to cope with the disappointment; let yourself grieve over the rejection and focus on taking care of your emotional and mental health while doing so. Then you come out of that grief by focusing on what you need to do next, what you might learn from this rejection and failure, and what you can use in order to make a better go of it next time if that's on the table. 

Disappointment doesn't need to lead to self hatred. You tried something and it didn't work out. This doesn't deserve to become your focus. Hating yourself means that you're internalizing all of this and that's the direct opposite of what you need to do. We're people, generally defined by our ability to mess things up as well as our ability to learn from our mistakes or missteps and pick ourselves back up. Give yourself the chance to move past this, love. Rejection sucks but we can learn from it and experience far greater things in our future if we allow ourselves to. 

[lettersofencouragement-blog]

Hey um do you have any advice to help with envy/jealousy? I've been prone to it my whole life with many people I've considered best friends, and it can cause my relationships with them to be a bit patchy so it can be a bit of a pain. P.S what you do on here is so amazing, you're truly wonderful and inspiring x

Hey, lovely. Here's the deal, it's really easy to find ourselves consumed with an emotion so much so that it seems to bleed into all of our relationships, friendships, and decisions. Mainly because we aren't typically taught how to cope with and process our emotions in the moment so they end up developing into this driving force that can seem pretty powerful and hard to manage. The important thing to remember is that they're just emotions, you will always have the upper hand when it comes to managing them because they're your emotions. 

You know how a lot of people talk about building walls that protect or distance yourself from others? Well it kind of helps me to put my emotions and experiences into those terms, bricks and walls. Every time you experience something a brick is formed. If you're able to process the experience and/or emotion, the brick is crushed and you move past it. If you aren't able to deal with it, it gets added to a wall. Sometimes walls are a good thing. They protect us from going through something hurtful that we've already experienced or they allow us some distance from something we're not quite ready or emotionally mature enough to understand and get through. But if you keep getting stuck on an emotion/experience that you don't process the wall just keeps getting higher and higher. It becomes this huge presence in your life that prevents you from being able to move forward and experience anything on the other side. 

The only way to tear down a wall you've been adding bricks to for your whole life is to figure out the root cause of the emotion and work through it. Is there something in your life that has been going wrong, does this cause you to focus on that feeling of envy/jealousy? Is there an insecurity that's been allowed to grow and fester so much so that it's ended up fueling that feeling? When you keep circling around the same issue the only real way to move past it is to face it so you can be free of it. 

It takes work and a willingness to look inward, it's definitely not easy. But it's worth it. You deserve to find fulfillment in your relationships. You might have to bulldoze a few walls before you can find that and it'll take some time. The benefit of doing so is that you won't constantly feel that tug of jealousy, you'll be able to be a great friend and experience lasting friendships, and you'll have the ability to cope with any future jealousy that you might run up against because you'll have the tools to process it already. 

[lettersofencouragement-blog]

thank you so much, I'll make sure to do what you said. thank you for the help!

You're welcome, lovely. Thanks for trying to help out someone you saw was in trouble. 

[lettersofencouragement-blog]

I think @/fightingadepression is going to commit suicide.. I don't know who she is so I can't necessarily do much about it..! her followers and I are all so worried, what are we supposed to do other than try to talk her out of it? she lives in a whole different country than me too!

The best thing you can do for someone in crisis is to be supportive and report their situation to someone that can help them as immediately as possible. 

I'd suggest sending an email to tumblr support here and reporting her url and any details you know about the situation as a first step. You can also call 1-800-273-8255 and report her situation to them with any information you have. If there's any way for them to pass on the information to the proper authorities and get her help, they will. 

We should always take a threat of suicide seriously and try to get the person in need help in whatever way we're able to. If someone is planning to harm themselves, it's very rare that being bombarded with messages on tumblr will do much to change their perspective. Sometimes expressing suicidal thoughts on tumblr is more of an outlet than a threat of real harm. Especially if someone is dealing with emotional or mental trauma that they're not able to process in a proactive and safe manner. So they reach out to see if someone cares enough to encourage them not to harm themselves as a means of finding reassurance they aren't able to find within themselves. But an active threat of harm and a outreach for reassurance should both be treated with compassion and importance. We all know what it's like to fall down and need some help as we struggle to get back up. So, while I know you feel there isn't much you can do, you do have the above channels available to report this to.