SCHLATT DATING HEADCANONS
jschlatt x reader (gender neutral), no use of y/n, sfw
- if you are shorter than him, don’t worry, schlatt enjoys being the tallest in the relationship, something about the way he gets to hold you, hug you or bend down to kiss your cheek. he loves it. he enjoys being able to get stuff from shelves for you, even if you couldve reached it yourself. it also calls for his nicknames although they can be a little condescending, his personal favourites are: “little love” “bud” “bub” “my little guy/ girl” “squirt” “tiny” “shortstack”.
- if you are taller, he wouldn’t mind too much, he’ll insist your height never bothered him yet he’ll take advantage of it and make you grab something from the top shelf because you’re “already up there” how much taller can you be than 6’3 anyway? If you rest your chin on his head he’ll complain dramatically for a while but he wont even move his head. He’ll tease you with some mocking nicknames like “telephone pole” “empire state”. In group photos, he may try to stand somewhere where he might appear taller, and in the same breath, when someone points out the height difference, he’ll claim “it’s the camera angle”. he’ll also comment on the shoes you wear, not even in a mad way, he’ll just tease you for trying to look taller than you already are, “do you really need that?”
- if you are around the same height, a little bit a combination. With an addition of him insisting hes “taller by a few inches”, he’ll also straighten up by doorways and see who brushes the top first. When measuring each other, he’ll question the accuracy unless it’s in his favor, and he’ll question his friends’ judgment if they arent in his favor either. As for taking things off shelves, it becomes a double effort, and hugs are very comfortable as youre close in height. Nicknames depend on who looks slightly taller or shorter
- if you are more of a homebody, he wouldn’t mind too much, he’d run most errands for you, and if you needed to come, he’d be right behind you. Incase you had problems with interaction, he’d do the interactions for you, he has a way with words anyway.
but if you did however like going outside, he’d encourage you to do as you like. Quiet parks, small walks, hangouts, he’d encourage that. Even though you’re out with people, you may not wanna talk as much, which is fine, thats what he’s there for.
- his streams are not supposed to make you uncomfortable, your boundaries are very important and he NEEDS to make sure you’re alright with anything. if you’re not happy with showing your face in videos, you don’t have to. If you don’t want to be brought up, you wont be.
if he somehow is able convince you to join his bits, he’d do it in a respectful manner. “Come on beautiful/handsome, it’ll be funny.” “You don’t have to talk.”
your role in his videos would be as small as you desire, either to rile his chat up or to play into his character. but he’d never give you a role you’re uncomfortable with
- around close friends, he’ll intentionally play around with you and poke at you, just to get a rise at you (unless you’re uncomfortable).
he hypes you up before social events so you’d be comfortable enough when arriving there
but he’ll enjoy seeing you open up to others, though he likes to mess with you by behaving jealous. “are you kidding? him? what about me?” “so you’re talking around him not me? whats the deal with that?”
when you dont wanna socialise anymore, he wont force you to. He’ll try not to keep you too long and will do all the talking until you leave
- hes very protective of you, he wouldnt tolerate anyone saying any insult towards you, though to avoid attention he wouldnt do it publicly unless absolutely necessary. he of all people would know what insult’s playful and what insult’s malicious
- if you liked being home, he wouldn’t force you out nor would he try to make you act more quiet, he loves you the way you are. He’d do the errands for you, unless you wanted to come along. He wouldn’t mind that either. He just also wouldn’t allow you to stay at home 24/7 when he knows you want to go out sometimes.
though if you liked going outside, he’d always find a way to make up some plans for you. “we’re going out, shoes on.” You two would know everyone, so you’d always be in a conversation with someone, he loves introducing you to friends and shows you off, he encourages you to join social events with him even though he wouldn’t be caught dead there had you not been with him. He keeps conversations going for you, and when he doesn’t want to, he lets you do the talking
- as for his streams, you’d have to state your opinion on that very firmly. If you wanna be seen, he’ll let you, you want to be directly mentioned? he’ll call you. He’s not very open about his love life but if you didn’t mind, he wouldn’t make a fuss.
Sometimes you make a cameo in the back of his videos, sometimes you’re a direct mention, not to worry, his fans love you. “And here’s the one you all love the most.” “Come say hi sweetheart, they love you more than me.”
- around close friends, you’re almost stuck together like glue when you’re able. whether it be at hang outs, vlogs or game nights.
he’s very big on celebrating your small milestones, with a group outing or surprise, he’d only do the same for himself if he knew you were coming.
he has a habit of making sure everyone’s laughing but always having his eyes on you to ensure you’re having just as much fun.
he remembers a lot about you and will bring it up unless it’s embarrassing to you and you do NOT wanna hear about it again
he’s very attentive and will notice when you’re getting exhausted before you even do
he hypes you up before social events to build your confidence and LOVES to brag about you
- long distance or short distance relationship doesn’t exactly matter to him, but if its possible he’d prefer a short distance one.
he prefers being able to reach you, or even live in the same place together.
if you live far away, he’d visit your place once or twice a month, he tries not to make you the one to visit him but he also LOVES when you’re by him.
his place has an extra bedroom for you, its very comfortable and personalized for you
- no matter your height, he prefers to be the big spoon no matter what. Maybe a negotiation can be made if you’re very tall, but if you’re way smaller then just give it up.
he prefers being the big spoon, because he gets to snuggle his face into your hair or neck, his chest against your back, hands around you.
hes also a pretty difficult person to pry yourself away from if he’s deep in sleep. youd have to spend 5 extra minutes getting yourself out and then he’d simply wake up and bring you back to bed gently.
- i dont think he’d mind whether you’re on the bigger side or the smaller side.
- he loves colognes, perfumes and fragrances, he loves the way you smell.
- if you have unhealthy habits, smoking, drinking, doing drugs, etc. he wouldn’t encourage you at all, he’d try to get you to limit yourself. If you’re careful with it, he’s not going to fight with you over what you like. If it reaches to a point you may harm yourself doing them, he WILL limit it. “Put that bottle down for me, will ya?” “I cant carry you home like that bub.” Another cig? Why would you ever wanna ruin that wonderful voice of yours?”
he could be a hypocrite but don’t call him out for it
smaller unhealthy habits like too much screen time can easily be limited, he’ll help you out with that and wont shame you for it.
- although he’s the dominant one in the relationship, he’s not very controlling over you. As long as you’re safe, you’re both happy, nobody’s hurt, who’s he to stop you?
He’s not very fond on open or poly relationships, so thats out of the question. He doesn’t hate poly people, he just doesn’t trust himself to be able to share his partner.
He makes jokes about being possessive and jealous and controlling, but if he ever felt that way truly, he’d make sure to have a mature conversation about it instead of blowing it extremely out of proportion.
- he’s great round kids, he’s an asshole to everyone but surprisingly nice to kids
- also, if you match his energy as a hyper person then you need to be ready for his playful insults and condescending comments.
If you’re too sweet for him, then he’ll lessen it down, dont expect it to be gone 100%, he’ll strike it where you cant catch it
- he prefers secluded dates and outside activities, but it really depends on what you want to do
- you have to AT LEAST tolerate cats, he’d try to find a way around it if you cant but you literally cant hate cats
if you have cats of your own, he’ll take really good care of them, and he’d even consider them “good friends” with jambo
- your culture matters to him, he’ll try and teach himself about your culture, maybe learn your language a little, try your food.
he’d also turn it into a nickname, depending on how well it slips off the tongue. (for example “my little german boy”)
he’d take you to your home country and home town to visit it for a while, or even take you to HIS home town so you’d get to experience it too
- he indulges in your hobbies a lot, even if he himself wouldn’t enjoy them, he just wants to see what makes you happy:
- if you are highly interested in music, he’d try getting into your favorite genres, buy you stuff needed and try to understand music as a whole
he’d be into jazz, american pop, classical music and british rock, but open to trying out your music taste as well
- he’d listen to your rants about music, and explanations on why a song is good, he sounds like he wasn’t paying attention but he either brings that same point up on stream or in a conversation with friends.
- he’d memorize your favorite artists, but he’d also try to tease you about your taste. buying vinyls, merch, cds and concert tickets.
- he’d make you a lot of playlists for you, mixture of songs that reminds him of you, mixture of songs you like, mixture of songs he likes
- if you played an instrument, he’d request songs for you to play and even record them
he’s a pretty damn good singer so if you ever needed someone to sing with, he’s your pick
on top of that, if you were a lyricist, even better. He’d gladly sing them for you to make sure you liked the way they sounded
- if you made music, he’d stream them, he has a lot of pride in you so he’d ALWAYS be listening to them if he could.
he’d promote you on his socials, he loves your music so he makes sure his fans overwhelm you with love.
- if you are interested in art, he’d buy you supplies, look at your artwork, support you and teach himself about the history in art
- he acts like he doesn’t understand art and why people are interested in it but he always finds himself over analyzing your pieces
he also asks meaningful questions when you discuss art theory with him
if he needs art, you are who he comes to, if you’re unavailable, he commissions another artist
- if your sketchbook is missing, hes just proudly showing off your art to his friends and even to his stream.
your finished sketchbooks never get thrown away, if you don’t have them, he does
- his room is decorated with some of your art, he can see the beauty in it, who cares what others say.
- he tries to help with your art block, giving you plenty of ideas of what to draw, he gets very happy when you follow his little requests
he claims he’s not sentimental but he’d get a little upset if he loses a drawing you made
- he tries to convince you to open commissions and post your work online
- he volunteers to be a model for you, he does however do funny faces to mess with you
- if you were interested in writing or reading, it’d be a little easier for him, he seems like the kind of fella to like books anyway
he’d have a lot of books, more about action, adventure, horror and etc. but he’d probably be into movies more than reading
- he enjoys quiet reading sessions, you maybe laying your head on his lap as you both read, he likes hearing you talk about it
- he likes debating stuff with you to hear your personal opinions and views
he’d love being the partner of a writer.
- he’d pretend he didn’t care about what you were writing but then ask you if you finished a certain chapter
- he volunteers unhelpful plot ideas and suggestions (he could’ve probably helped me write this but whatever)
his feedback would mostly be jokes but here and there he’d add on useful comments about the pacing or the dialogue
- if you experienced writer’s block, he’d take you out somewhere until you were mentally ready to go and tackle it again
- late night writing sessions, he’d be editing his videos while you write, occasionally asking how the writing is coming along
He’d tease you for getting emotional while writing certain scenes unless you were genuinely frustrated or doubting yourself, then he’s your biggest fan
he also goes ahead and brags about you to his friends because why wouldn’t he
- if you were into cooking, he’d be thankful he wouldn’t have to rely on take out or dates too much
since you’d pack him homemade food sometimes, he might be a little picky about how he wants his food, you set the bar pretty high
- he’d ask to be a taste tester as an excuse to just eat your food before its even finished
he’d sample ingredients throughout the process but make sure theres enough for you to cook with
and he’d also joke he was helping by ensuring your food was to its best quality (maybe he should try being in the kitchen one of these days)
because he wants to be a taste tester so bad, you can make him eat your experimental recipes, the worse they taste, the funnier his reaction
- he LOVES your baked goods: bread, cake, cookies, pizza
god forbid he wants to take advantage of his personal chef, he’d gladly snatch up the goods even if he was told to wait
- you being into cooking means they dont have to go out and buy for people coming over
you get way more rest due to being the one cooking, you deserve it, what the hell did schlatt do other than take the food anyway
if you’re too stressed or tired to make food, he suggests takeout instead.
he also likes surprising you with your favorite dessert, pastries and lunches
- going grocery shopping is his favorite part, since you’d know exactly what you need, he’s basically just following you around, listening to you talk about what you need
yeah and he’d also throw a few snacks in there, whatever, at least he’s paying
- he’d show off the goods you made on stream, “my personal chef made these for me.” he’d tell his chat pretty vaguely
oh and of course he’s bragging about it to his friends because again why wouldn’t he
- if you were interested in dressing and makeup, schlatt would gladly support you, he doesn’t know a damn thing about makeup so don’t expect too much out of him.
- you’d unfortunately have to explain contour, blush and bronzer multiple times to him, whether he remembers is a different story on its own
- even though he knows nothing about makeup, he’d notice when you try something different
- he’d question why you need a whole collection of products but would never complain, it makes you smile
- he’d definitely take a whole lot of photos of you, he thinks you’re very beautiful/handsome
the ones where you felt confident are especially his favorite
- if you do his makeup for fun, he’d groan about it but he’d give in eventually
- he’d always question why you’re taking so long but he’d immediately understand once he saw you come out
- he’d hype you up in a pretty deadpan way. “Wow beautiful/handsome, you’re making the rest of us look bad.”
- he couldn’t help you at all if you asked which outfit he preferred without only offering “this outfit looks cool.” “that one fits better.” “you look nicer in this.”
If you were excited about a new outfit, he tries to match that excitement without being TOO excited.
- if someone insulted you, he’d shut it down with a fast sarcastic remark.
- shopping trips are basically him following you around and pointing to either the most DROP DEAD GORGEOUS outfit ever, or the most ridiculous one.
- he’d share photos of you to his friends because of how lovely he thinks you look, but he’d also make comments like “dont look too hard” “woah woah woah keep your compliments to yourself.” “thats mine”
- if you were interested in sports, he’d be your BIGGEST FAN.
- he’d show up to your games anytime he could, even if he was joking the whole drive there
he’d be the loudest supporter of yours, though mostly hidden behind sarcasm, he’s genuinely proud. “THATS MY MVP!”
- if you wanted to teach him your sport, he’d honestly try although he may complain a little
friendly competition is a huge thing for you two, he wants to WIN
- he also likes to watch competitions with you, even if you had to explain what happened.
- if you have early morning practices, he might complain about having to let you go, or your alarm but he’d wish you luck before you left.
- if you were excited after a win, he’d celebrate with you and insist on buying you something to celebrate with
- after a tough loss, he’d drop the jokes and just let you vent, and cry, he understands you’re frustrated.
- if you got an award or medal, he’d want to hang it somewhere you can always see it
- recovery days would be ordering food, watching something together or even letting you rest and sleep after training.
and of course he’ll still be bragging about you to his friends
- now anyone knows gaming is schlatt’s strong suit, he’d be very compatible in this category.
- he’d ask you to play for “just an hour” knowing it’d turn into three
- if you didn’t know how to play a game, he’d give you wrong instructions just to get a rise out of you and then he’d give you the actual strategy
If he didnt know, he’d look it up just to surprise you
- co op games would easily turn competitive
If you beat him in a competitive game, he might get a little heated (obviously in a playful way) and might be salty about it for the next week
If you lose he might not let you live it down
- he enjoys playing cozy games with you and getting to relax with you
- if you wanna play without it being on stream he’d be perfectly fine with that
- and yeah he might talk about your performance with his stream or friends
- He’d love this because he’d be able to spend more time with you, but he’d also dislike parasocial fans
- assuming you have a lower following, he’d send his fans to go and say hi to your stream.
he’s very proud of you so of course he’d promote it as well
- whenever the two of you collaborated, the chats would go wild because you two are the best when together
- your chats would have a lot of inside jokes for the two of you
- he’d interrupt serious moments to make jokes here and there
unless they were VERY serious
- he would often send messages and donations in your chat, maybe as much as $50.00 just to get your attention
sometimes he’d even join under a mysterious accounts just to play around with you
- he watches your streams in his free time
- he makes up insane lore for the two of you, confusing your audience of whether you’re dating or not
- if you had a rough stream, he’d be very empathetic about it
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schlatt would prefer acts of service, words of affirmation and physical touch
he’d be very direct about his opinions but he’d make sure it’s not hurtful
he prefers private affection over public affection
he’d have a lot of pet names for you depending on what kind of person you are and small experiences you had together
he doesn’t require attention everyday but when he does, he wants a LOT of it
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