LOVE ME WRONG
Okay, this is my first time publishing here, so bear this in mind! (also, English is not my first language, pls correct me if you see something's off)
Summary: You realise you like Reece more than you should and you're afraid you won't be able to give him the love he deserves.
WC: 2.5k
Warnings: none (that I can think of!) it's sweet! This is inspired on the song "Love me wrong" by Isak Danielson.
Pls let me know your thoughts! :)
The hotel halls were empty and silent whilst I was walking fast back to my room after coming from the stadium, which I mentally thanked for. Chelsea had played their first UCL game of the season and that was a tough draw, although a fightful one, I really wished they’d win and it seemed like it for a while, but things got heated, the energy in the stadium following cue and Reece ended up with a yellow card that made me frown a bit, knowing how frustrated with himself he’d be.
I showered and put my pyjamas on, checking my phone after and reading a text from Reece:
Still here, shouldn’t take too long to leave now tho
Tysm for coming, not the best result, but we’ll keep fighting!
I smiled softly at the texts, shaking my head as if he could see it as I texted back:
Let me know when you get back :)
Ty for inviting me! That’s the spirit, you were giving your all out there, I’m proud!
I texted and immediately wished I could unsend the message. “I’m proud??”, I say out loud, frowning and let out a big sigh, “as if he cares!” I thought cringing with myself and threw my phone on the bed, walking back to the bathroom so I could apply some moisturiser on my face and body before going under the covers, a random tv show keeping me lightly entertained.
About three episodes in I heard a knock on the door and checked my phone, seeing that Reece let me know when he left the stadium so I climbed out of bed and opened the door, seeing his face smiling lightly at me in his black joggers and white t-shirt.
“Hey”, he said, his head tilted to the side.
“Hii”, I smiled back, letting him into the room, “I wasn’t expecting your visit, sir!”, I joked looking down at my pyjamas and he chuckled, shaking his head before wrapping one arm around my waist, pushing the door behind us with the other.
“Don’t worry, honestly I’d rather be with you than by myself”, he said against my head, going down to my neck as his hand, that pushed the door, made its way to the side of my face. I nodded, rubbing his chest with one hand and caressed the back of his neck with the other.
I turn my head in the slightest and I can see his little side smile as he pulls me closer, making me lift myself on my tiptoes, our heads approaching slowly as if we’re teasing each other, seeing who’s giving in first until he rolls his eyes with a smile, his hand sliding from my waist to my bum as he gives up our little game, lips touching slowly, tongues savouring each other’s tastes until we run out of breath.
“You always smell so nice”, he says against my neck, leaving kisses in between. I hum in response with a smile and steal a peck on his lips. “So do you, especially here”, I say before bending to smell his neck, specifically on his soft spot, and give it a little kiss with a suck, giggling when I hear his deep breath.
“Don’t… y/n…” he started in pain, but then said my name warningly.
“What?” I asked in fake innocence, letting out a low chuckle.
“Early morning tomorrow… just wanted to see you before you go…” he said, remembering why I wasn’t even expecting him and why we wouldn’t be able to enjoy each other more.
“And yet… you’re here…” I say in a sing-song voice, lifting an eyebrow with a smug look on my face.
“You’re not…” he cut himself, cupping myself and giving my lips several pecks that made me laugh. “No, you’re not doing this to me, baby girl! I’m serious!” He says and closes he eyes. My heart flutters with the pet name, and it does every time, but I try to ignore it as he closes his eyes, making me confused.
“Why did you close your eyes?” I ask half laughing.
“I can’t be serious looking to your face” he says, dead serious. I cackle, leaving his reach as I fold to hold my tummy, his laugh quick joining mine.
“You can’t be serious, Reece!”
“See? Not even with my eyes closed!” he counterparts, making me giggle as I approach back, kissing all over his face.
“If you want to leave THAT bad, I won’t hold you, you know”, I say jokingly, taking a step back, but not quick enough as Reece open his eyes and steps forward, holding me again.
“You think you’re funny, huh? I’m in hell!” He says dramatically and I shake my head, denying.
“I really wish I could stay, darling”, he says lowly, our bodies swaying slowly and I nod. “Me too, but don’t worry, I’ll see you back in London, right?” I ask and he smiles, nodding.
“Of course, whenever possible for both of us” he say, “I’ll check my agenda and will let you know”, I joke and he laughs lowly “Deal, I’ll make it work around it”.
It still takes us a couple of minutes before Reece actually leaves the room, making my heart feeling all types of way.
(...)
The Chelsea match was on my phone, the commentator’s voice filling the silence in my room alongside the clicking sound from my mouse as I edited some photos and uploaded them to the week’s portfolio. I huff annoyed when I mess up the settings and push my chair, grabbing my phone and leaving the room willing to put on the kettle.
I check the screen, watching the game whilst waiting for the water to boil and look for Reece on the pitch, forgetting that he got injured couple of weeks ago, my heart sinks when I think of it and remember his face seeing me post match and I sigh, trying to put my mind back to the game and hoping for a better result for the blues.
Hey, can I see you tonight?
The notification pops up, distracting me once more from the game and I reply, my heart happy as I see Reece’s profile picture.
Sure, what happened?
I ask uncertain of why he wants to meet, usually only seeing him on weekends or away days, we were trying to keep things casual as I didn’t want to commit - or so did I fool myself thinking.
Nothing really, just wanna see you
He writes and I feel my heart go faster as my face heats up a bit.
Tomorrow I’ll be back to full time training, so I figured it’d be nice to hang out tonight
He adds and I bite my lip, my head leaning to the side as I agree with him, it’d be nice to hang out tonight.
Yeah, sure, do you wanna come over?
I text back and take a breath, not willing to understand what was going through my mind and body.
Yeah, I’ll see you at 8?
Yep, I’ll order something!
Don’t worry, I gotchu :)
He sends at last and I nod to the phone before sending him a kissy face emoji, a dumb smile plastered on my face. As realisation kicks in, my bubble bursts and I look straight to the kettle, moving fast to reach it as if I could hide my reactions from somebody, although I was home alone. I take my cup of tea back to the make-do office in my place and stare at the screen, gathering patience and courage to go back to work.
Not long after I shut my computer off and stand up, stretching my back with a groan before heading to the shower, Reece would be here soon and that thought brought back life to my stomach and a smile to my face. “Ooh no”, I say quietly, my eyes widening and I can’t help but laugh with myself.
“Wow, you’re so casual about this!” I say out loud, entering the bathroom and as I face myself in the mirror I talk to myself “I’m so normal about this! About him! SO NORMAL!”, I say in denial and take my clothes off, trying not to think about him taking it off and I shake my head with that thought.
“Please don’t… you know you can’t love him the way he deserves it!” I think as the water hits my body and the conflict fogs my mind.
“There’s nothing normal about him, I mean, that smile… and that body… and the way he kisses me, how could someone be normal about this?”
“I’ve barely been going to the matches, I wasn’t even there when he got injured! And we agreed that we’d be friends with benefits or even less than that!” with that thought I couldn’t keep my mouth shut anymore.
“I do love him as friend! And he’s a great lover, but that’s it, there’s no way we could work as something else, it’s two separate things!” I say and I feel my heart sink, saddened with my realisation. “As if he’d take me as something else as well!” I say unwillingly and laugh with pity with myself.
I finish the shower with mixed feelings and put on some comfortable clothes, putting light make up on even if I was just staying in.
“You wouldn’t be putting make up on to stay on your couch if he wasn’t coming over!” I can hear my best friend’s voice in my head and I frown annoyed, she’d be right.
The bell rings as I left the room and I go to the door, opening it and there was no denying what I felt with the smile that appeared on my face as I saw him. He was in an all black outfit and that smile on his face that made me wanna jump on him and smother his face with kisses, but I held back and gave him his way in.
“I brought your favourite from wagamamas!” He says happily, raising his hand to show me the bag and I chuckle.
“Thanks! It’s been a while, I was actually going to order it one of these days” I say, casually, following him to the kitchen after I closed the door.
We had dinner and decided to watch a movie, so we were laying spread across the couch, my face tucked in his neck and one of his legs draped on my lap, not the most comfortable position to be in but we didn’t move or say a word about it.
The movie wasn’t very amusing taking from Reece picking up his phone and I looked away, trying not to be nosey, but he might’ve realised I noticed that because he moved slightly to look at me.
“Ben’s throwing a party next week, do you wanna go?” He asked and it took me a few seconds to process what he was saying.
“Hmm… did he-did he invite me? I don’t have my phone now” I stuttered, trying to understand the whole picture and he giggled.
“I don’t know, but he invited me, thought you’d like to go with me” he said but his tone went down a little by the end of the sentence, his uncertainty showing.
“Oh… yeah, I mean, check if he’s okay with it…” I said unsure and shook my head “I mean, do you want me to go? Like, you don’t have to invite me or” I spit feeling dumb and confused and he moved again, this time twisting his upper body to hold my face.
“Of course I want you to go! I’m inviting you!” He said simply and pecked my lips, a frown appearing on his face as he saw my panicking face. “But… hm… just if you want…” he said in a weird way, moving away from me.
“Reece… I’m sorry, I just don’t know what to think” I said and he nodded, not saying a word. “I don’t think I understand our dynamics anymore and I don’t know how to feel about it” I said in a burst of courage, he looked at me and chuckled nervously.
“I’m sorry, I should’ve talked to you before, it doesn’t have to be weird” he said and I fell more confused.
“It’s okay, I just want to know where we stand, you know?” I say and it was that stupid-most-graceful-city-lightner of a smile that tipped me over the edge. “Because I don’t know if I can keep doing this like this”
I said, willing to let it all go and end but, truth be said, I just wanted him to take me in.
“What do you mean, y/n?” he said, approaching closer to me again and when he touched my face, I bit my lip holding back a smile and he chuckled. “Fuck it, y/n, I like you, I really, really like you and I say we say fuck it to that bullshit “dynamic” we thought we had!” he says excitedly, frowning at the word “dynamic” and I laugh, infected with his face and mood.
I don’t say a word right away, just enjoying the way his face was hovering mine, our noses touching and lips teasingly dancing every now and then, but I couldn’t ignore my beating heart, reminding me of all my insecurities.
“Reece” I whisper against his lips and we move inches away from each other, looking at each other in the eyes. He hums, letting me know he heard me and I sigh lowly.
“I don’t know… I don’t know if I can love you right, I don’t know if I can be the person you deserve, to give you the attention you deserve and” I say in agony, trying to hold back tears and he hushes me, bringing me into his chest with a hug.
“Please don’t say that… just… let’s just live, okay? We can just live and you can let me love you and we’ll figure things out together, hm?” He says calmly and I can only hug him tighter, his heart beating so peacefully I wanted to drown in it. I slowly nod at his words and I can hear him sigh before pulling me away enough so he could see my face.
“Everything you said just made me even more sure that I want to do this with you, you know? I know that you can love me and we can do this together… but for now you can love me wrong, hm?” He says mocking me at the end and I laugh mortified with his little joke before pushing my head in his chest to hide the redness on my face.
“You’re an idiot!” I say muffled against him and I laugh, shaking my head.
“Yeah, well, you like an idiot!” He mocked again and I nod, moving my face back to level with him and I him by the collar.
“Yeah… I do” I say with a teasing face before he pushes me to lay on the couch, kissing me so casually.
