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@lexiepuckerman
PM || Sexie
You are crazy. You’re insane, Lexie. I’ve never cheated on you, but I honestly don’t give a shit whether you wanna believe me or not. Fine, let’s have a paternity test or whatever. Me, Logan Lynn and every other shithead that you slept with.
I seriously wanna punch you right now. I never cheated on you with Logan. Fine, let’s do the pointless test. What happens after you officially find out that you’re the dad?
PM || Sexie
Of course I don’t, since you’re a liar that can’t be trusted. I’d say it was a good decision to let someone else raise her for you, so she at least has somewhat of a chance to not end up crazy like you, but then I remember that it’s your crazy mom that’s raising her, who also raised you. That poor, poor thing… she’s doomed. Why the fuck would I wanna raise your kid?
You think you're Mother Teresa? You think sneaking off to see Chelsea in the dead of night makes me think you’re not a liar who can’t be trusted? Stop calling me crazy, Sawyer. I’m not crazy. She’s doomed because she has your shitty fuckboy genes. Because she’s your kid too.
PM || Sexie
Because you cheated on me with him, obviously. Yea right, nobody believes that, Lex. Right, you do that, and I’ll make sure to tell her her mom is a dumb, selfish bitch. But I guess she would already know that by then, considering you can’t even be bothered to raise your own kid.
Oh my, God I cannot have this conversation with you again. You won’t even believe me when I tell you that she’s yours. Oh, then would you like to do the honors of raising her?
PM || Sexie
Right, so it’s totally a coincidence that Logan Lynn and that bleacher ho are having a baby and that all of the sudden you have one too? Fuck, you’re so transparent, Lex. Even if she really is yours, why would I believe she’s mine? It wouldn’t be the first time you cheated on me. Plus, that hellspawn looks nothing like me. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s also Lynn’s since you’re so madly obsessed with that loser. Your word isn’t gonna cut it.
I already told you Logan has nothing to do with this. Why would you even bring him up? I haven’t had sex with anyone except for you, asshole. I don’t know how else to prove it to you. I’m not madly obsessed with Logan, that’s insane. Well, when she’s old enough, I hope my word is good enough for my daughter when I tell her that her dad is an idiotic, selfish deadbeat.
PM || Sexie
Then why did you lie to me about it?? For four fucking months… This is crazy, you’re crazy… Do you want money? Is that what this is about? Too bad, because you’re not getting any. Do you even have any proof to back up this insanity?
I didn’t lie, I just never told you until now. There’s a difference. Stop telling me I’m crazy, okay? No, it’s not about money. It’s about me thinking you were ready to know about your daughter but I was obviously wrong. Gee, I don’t know? My word alone should be enough, but my kid and my parents are proof too.
PM || Sexie
You’re crazy… how is that even possible? You can’t be pregnant without anyone knowing about it! Why are you lying to me, Lex? Are you really that scared that I’m gonna leave you, that you’d just make up this insane story about your little sister? Fuck, you’re one messed up bitch….
That’s crazy. Obviously, I was pregnant without anyone knowing except my mom. I just had the whole the planned out really carefully. She’s my daughter, our daughter. I’m not afraid that you’ll leave me. That’s why I told you in the first place.
PM || Sexie
…….what?
Are you drunk?
No, I’m not. You can process this whichever way you need to, but just know that I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. Lately we’ve been pretty well so I thought was a good time to finally tell you.
PM || Sexie
….What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Did you cheat on me again?? Don’t tell me you fucked that Lynn loser…. I swear to fucking god, it better not be him!
No, it has nothing to do with Logan, I swear. Over the summer, I got pregnant and decided to keep the baby. So Cassie is actually ours and not my parents.
PM || Sexie
So I kind of have to tell you something and you have to promise that you won’t totally freak out...
So, when are you going to tell Evans about your bastard child?
What bastard child? I think I would remember popping out some kid.
And I’ll tel him when we’re both ready.
Oh really? I guess it has been a while since he’s written a bullshit story about me. You should let his boyfriend know he’s doing a piss poor job then. What the fuck did I even do this time to piss you off? Cause I remember that the past few weeks I’ve been doing what I fucking can to make you happy. Ever considered that maybe it’s not me, but that it’s you that’s driving you cray?
Yeah, because I want to spend my Saturday night talking to my cousin about his sex life. I’m not pissed off at you. And I love and appreciate all the things you’ve done for me. Even though you sound like a bad fortune cookie, you’re probably right. I should probably stop listening to your brother too.
Sure, babe. Isn’t your inbred cousin there anyways? Heard he’s been getting some from the birthday boy on the reg so I figured he would be. Ooh, sounds steamy, Lex. Add a naked pillowfight and I might just join you girls. Fuck, you’re so damn paranoid, it’s not even funny anymore.
I don’t know, maybe? He’s been so mopey around the house lately, it’s embarrassing. Please if I ever had a naked pillow fight with her, you would be the last to know purely out of spite. Stop giving me reasons to be paranoid and then I wouldn’t be. Easy as that.
You’re welcome to join me, babe. Don’t you have something to celebrate as well? And that’s awfully specific for a random fucking question, Lex. Missing her already? Anyways, how the fuck should I know that? Ask her if you wanna know.
I guess you have a point. How about you let me know if there’s booze and I’ll make Leo, Laura, or Frankie DD. I doubt they’re doing anything more interesting. Yes, I wanted to know if she’s free so we can braid each other’s hair and talk about you. Aren’t you guys friends?
About to head to Heather’s brother’s birthday party. Normally I wouldn’t hang out with sophomore losers, but I’m in a great mood and feeling particularly generous so I might as well bring him the gift of my presence. After all, we definitely have something to celebrate with the downfall of the glee club as well as St. Lame finally moving away to live with his own loser kind. Anyways, time to party, and I swear to fucking god there better be booze..
I still can’t believe you’re actually hanging out with sophomores tonight. With that set Schuester made for us, we were destined to lose regardless. But anyway, random question: is Chelsea going to that party tonight?
It’s a Pokemon, Lexie. What else would a Cubone be? And no, bite is not in his movepool, and he doesn’t sting or spray things either. That wouldn’t even make sense for a ground type. He uses a bone club to fight with. Um, it’s just a game on my phone, don’t think mom would mind it that much, would she? Plus it requires Leo and I to do stuff outside of the house, so I’m pretty sure she’s actually happy about that…
I don’t know, it could have been anything. I should have known better and guessed it was a nerd thing anyway. But I didn’t so I now I know too much about another one of you and Leo’s nerd things. When’s the last time you actually went out, Laura? Like out out. Pokemon doesn’t count.
I just hatched a Cubone and he’s the most adorable and precious thing, but I kinda don’t know whether to be happy or sad about it. Or am I the only one who always gets all the feels when they see a Cubone? Such a tiny little man, all alone in the world, wearing his dead mother’s skull…
…And there I go again, ugly sobbing… If only I could just give him all the cuddles right now…
What the hell is a Cubone? Does it bite, sting, or spray things at you? Does mom that you’re hatching things without her permission? You know what, don’t answer that because if she asks me if I know anything, I’m denying everything. All I ask is that you keep it out of my room.
Thoughts on Chelsea Lynn?
She’s harmless when it comes to Sawyer if that’s what you’re asking. She’s also really nice to the point where it’s annoying. And I feel like she’s always around which is also really annoying, but I’m learning to ignore it.
