Laura

Laura Puckerman • 15 • Freshman

[grayson-anderson]

PM || Graura

[grayson-anderson]

Do you think your mom would let me borrow Cassie? Just how gross was it? You’re basically Google, Laurapedia. The ghost question is like the most important one. Yeah, his girlfriend is pregnant and he’s kind of freaking out and I thought I could help by asking the smartest person I know a few questions. Plus you have an actual baby in you house. 

[laurapuckerman]

I don’t know, bad, not something one would do for fun?...Borrow Cassie? For what? To communicate wih the ghosts that live in your mansion? I don’t think that’s going to solve it, senpai. Cassie can’t talk yet, so she won’t be able to explain what the evil spirits want for you. Though I guess her screaming might just chase them away, I guess. Maybe you should just google a medium while you’re at it. I don’t know much about breeding, unless it involves Pokemon eggs. But that’s good, or well, not good that he got his girlfriend pregnant, but for a moment I thought that ‘How good are you at changing diapers?’ was supposed to be a pick up line and that would even be bad according to my very low standards.

[grayson-anderson]

PM || Graura

Are you any good at changing diapers? When people sleep with their babies, do they ever roll over suffocate them? How common is SIDS? Oh, and is it true that babies can see ghosts and shit? Asking for a friend…

[laurapuckerman]

Those are some pretty specific questions...First of all, not very good? I only have one younger sibling, the others just behave like babies. I’ve done it a few times with Cassie, but it’s pretty gross... The rest of those questions Google can probably answer for you, or for your mysterious friend. Except for maybe the ghost question. So, is there any reason in particular why this friend wants to know how good I am at changing diapers? 

[brysonevans]

That sounds like it’s really fun, getting to celebrate and learn both sides of the two most celebrated religions. Is there one of the two you prefer at all? Oh, yea, that’s probably a really good idea. And very sweet of you, you didn’t have to get me a gift, Laura. Christmas karaoke? Oh god… better question, is your Aunt Rachel gonna be there? Because from what I hear, that might be a bigger worry. 

[laurapuckerman]

Not really, I like both. When I have kids I’m just going to continue the Chrismukkah tradition. We’re friends, aren’t we? Friends give each other gifts. Not that I expect to get something back, so don’t worry about that. Yea, she is, but my Aunt Santana told her she can’t come anywhere near the karaoke set. Not sure how that will end, since both of them can get really scary.

[brysonevans]

Just the presents stuff? Do you guys do any of the other included traditions of the two of them? You know, like the menorah stuff? And the Christmas tree? And the manger thing? Well, at least you guys found something easier for yourselves. That’s what the holidays are about anyway. Being with family, and things just being chill. Great, then I guess i’ll be seeing you there. And no worries, there’s no way your dad can be more embarrassing than either of my parents, or any of my brothers. Worse comes to worse, just gotta find a place to hide until his embarrassing stuff blows over, ha.

Oh, okay. And yea good point, no Santa talk. The last thing we need is to upset the Lopez clan by letting that cat out of it’s bag. 

[laurapuckerman]

No, we have all the traditions, every fun aspect the holidays have to offer is included basically. Oh, that reminds me, I should bring your gift with me to the party so you can actually open it on Christmas, rather than after. Trust me, he’s pretty embarrassing, i just hope mom keeps him away from the alcohol, especially since I’ve heard that there will be Christmas karaoke.

[brysonevans]

Chrismukkah? That’s an interesting way of saying you celebrate both. Do you do anything special for “Chrismukkah” or do you just celebrate both as you would celebrate them normally? And going to the Lopez party tonight won’t mess it up, will it? Assuming you’re going tonight…. are you going tonight? 

Being a good girl… do you believe in Santa/whatever the Jewish equivalent is still? 

[laurapuckerman]

We celebrate both, taking the best holiday that christianity and judaism have to offer basically. Eight days of presents, followed by a day of many presents. My parents couldn’t decide on whether to raise us jewish or catholic, so the holidays used to be a struggle until we came to the conclusion that we could make life easier by celebrating both. No, it won’t, and even if it would, my parents love parties so I’m sure we would go either way. Fingers crossed dad won’t do anything embarrassing, honestly. 

It was a joke, Bryson... No, I don’t, but you should probably keep quiet about that at the party, since my Aunt Brittany and Riley do.

[asheslopez]

Right, sure, considering I’ve never heard of it before then I’m gonna continue to assume it’s something hybrids like you made up to make things easier for yourself. How does one even actually celebrate “Chrismukkah”? Or does it just have to do with the gifts things you just described? Oh, so you don’t get gypped out of gifts, that’s good then. That it would, except I’ll be spending it with my family and stuff. The 26th could work though, since it’s an irrelevant day. I can drop it off sometime then, maybe? 

[laurapuckerman]

It’s not made up, though I suppose some person did come up with it first. You should look it up if you don’t want to take my word for it. The gifts, plus everything else that people do during Christmas and Hannukah, light the candles as well as having a christmas tree in the house. It’s pretty great, bringing two religions together and all. Sure, we could do the 26th. Uh, are you just going to drop it off...?

[asheslopez]

Chrismukkah isn’t a real holiday, sweets. It’s literally only just Christmas and Hanukkah. But I guess since you’re some hybrid religion it can slide for you. So, you only get 8 presents? You don’t get extra for the Christmas aspect of your family? Wow, chintzy…. When should I drop off you Christmas-half gift from me?

[laurapuckerman]

Uh? Yes, it is? It’s blending Christmas and Hannukah to create the best holiday ever. Basically the best of both religions. Eight days of presents, followed by one awesome day of many presents. Whenever you want to, though I suppose tomorrow or the day after that would make most sense for your ‘non-hybrid’ religion.

[laurapuckerman]

Merry Chrismukkah everyone! ...Or just Christmas and Hanukkah, for those of you who only celebrate one of my favorite holidays of the year. I don’t know about you guys but I’m stoked about eight days of presents, the giving and admittedly also the receiving aspect of it all. Let’s see if being a good girl this year wil finally pay off. 

[grayson-anderson]

PM: Yeah, that would probably undo all the work we’ve done. Weird. I’m still half convinced he made the stupid thing. You find anything else interesting? You know having two girls fight over me sounds amazing, but this is hands down the worse thing that’s ever happened to me. Except that time I got a fake spray tan. 

[laurapuckerman]

PM: Being voted the most promiscuous person at McKinley? Yeah, I would assume so. Why do you think he would do that? I don’t think he has much to gain from voting himself the biggest loser. The again, he was acting pretty weird yesterday in general. That new girl in school really pissed him off a lot with her post about Avery and Hayley. Just some other tapes that I really wish I hadn’t seen. So nothing interesting, no. That’s the worse thing? Such luxury problems the rich and pretty people have.. And yea, I remember that, it was hilarious. You should take advice from Heather more often.

[grayson-anderson]

Fabray got ranked lower than me, so no, my feelings aren’t hurt. I also feel sorry for the person who made because I’m hands down one of top 5 hottest people at school. What? Fabray actually left his house long enough for you to? Laura, I’m so happy that I could kiss you right now. 

[laurapuckerman]

Well, I’m glad you’re taking it in stride. I imagine it’s probably not a list you want to be ranked on high anyways, especially with everything that’s been going on with you lately. Yeah it was so strange, he was gone all night, actually. Most likely he’s up to no good again, but at least it gave me plenty of time to snoop around in his room. Easy there, Senpai. I don’t really fancy getting into a fight with your wannabe girlfriends.

[grayson-anderson]

I don’t know what the hell a Glist is, but it sounds like something that Fabray threw together to get some attention after his little girlfriend took the spotlight off him. So, it’s probably wrong anyway. Well, not completely wrong since I was totally right about Karofsky being a fake virgin to score with other chicks.

[laurapuckerman]

I think Frankie was too busy last night to write a Glist, and aside from that, ranking people on their promiscuity and looks doesnt really sound like something he would do. Oh, and I’m sorry you got ranked so low. Hope that didn’t hurt your feelings too much? But here’s some good news, I found the tape!

[laurapuckerman]

Text ✉ Graura

Grayson: Thanks for the pro-tip. Let me be a cautionary tale and don't ever listen to the Hopez's.

Grayson: I doubt this will get me in any trouble and if it does then you can say I told you so.

Grayson: Because she did all of this on purpose. She only agreed to practicing so she could tell after I asked her not to.

Laura: They mean well, but they aren't the type of people one would go to for advice, no. I could have told you that years ago.

Laura: What kind of favor do you want from him? Pretty sure he doesn't even do favors.

Laura: Oh.. that's pretty cruel.. Did she tell you why?

[laurapuckerman]

Text ✉ Graura

Grayson: I don't think I want to know either.

Grayson: Can't imagine why he wouldn't. But fine, I sort of need a favor from him anyway.

Grayson: I mean, I did like her only as a friend before she ruined my life.

Laura: Good. Stay away from practicing!

Laura: A favor from Frankie? Be careful with that. Before you know it you'll be in even more trouble.

Laura: Um how did she ruin your life? I mean, you wanted to "practice" with her, right?

[laurapuckerman]

Text ✉ Graura

Grayson: That's cute, Laura, but you know what I mean.

Grayson: All two of his friends? Why? Can't your brother ask him to hang out instead?

Grayson: For her, yeah. Not so much for people like Fabray.

Laura: I actually didn't, but I doubt I want to know what you meant..

Laura: I don't know, I just assumed because usually he hangs out with Tommy and Hayley. Leo's doesn't like going outside much either, or being around Frankie..

Laura: What about the girl you cheated with? Do you like her?

[laurapuckerman]

Text ✉ Graura

Grayson: Turning myself in that early would have been embarrassing. Maybe I should just get her laid before telling on myself.

Grayson: God, no. I'll help, okay? Do you have a plan or are we just winging the whole thing?

Grayson: I don't know, maybe? It would depend on who she practiced with I guess.

Laura: You want to "practice" with Coach Sue now? Oh, senpai...

Laura: First we need to get him to leave his room, which might be hard because lately he's always home. I think he's mad at his friends or something. Maybe you can ask him to hang out so I can snoop around in his room?

Laura: You didn't immediately say no, so I guess you're a pretty forgiving person. Hopefully she is too.

[laurapuckerman]

Text ✉ Graura

Grayson: You think they would kick me out? I thought you were supposed to get less punishment if you turn yourself in.

Grayson: Sure, go ahead and be my guest. I'll be here to tell you I told you so when he catches you.

Grayson: Would I break up with a guy? Laura, you know I'm not gay.

Laura: I don't know, maybe if you turned yourself in a month ago. I can't see Sue Sylvester letting you off the hook easily.

Laura: Ha ha. Obviously I can't do it all by myself, but if you prefer to be Frankie's bestie then we can just leave it be.

Laura: No smartass, I meant would you have broken up with Brooke if she "practiced" with someone?

[laurapuckerman]

Text ✉ Graura

Grayson: I'm not dead, am I? Well, not yet anyway. I'm pretty close to turning myself in just so I can kick Fabray's ass.

Grayson: Ha, yeah okay. Maybe when hell freezes over.

Grayson: I think so. Would you break up with a guy if he practiced with another girl?

Laura: Normally I would say that it's always better to tell the truth, but I don't want you to get kicked out of school or something.

Laura: Why? All we have to do is go into is room and steal it?

Laura: Hmm.. I don't know. Would you?