When it comes to difficult kids photography sessions believe it or not sometimes the kids aren't the problem with the session, it's the parents. Remember you're the photographer! You have to get the photos and edit them, and then get the parents to buy them!
Start off the session by Ignoring the child. Talk to parents get the paperwork done first this will give the child a sense that nothing is new or different and that your not some crazy stranger but just a normal person that there parents are comfortable with. Once you get that done and get to the picture taking then the switch of focus should happen.
If the parent is a help to the session and things are going well, great! Parents can be great helps to the session, sometimes they can get the child to do cute things you never knew they could do, or help get smiles by saying certain things they know their kid will laugh at, but if they suddenly become the director of the show, telling there kids how to smile and what poses to do then it's time for them to go. Or if they are the infamous if you don't smile I'm going to_____________ you parents, don't be afraid to KICK THEM OUT! Politely of course but get them out never the less. Now when I say kick them out I don't mean literally. I know that sounds strange. I don't believe the photographer should be in the room with the child alone where the parents don't have access I just mean to let them know gently or maybe not so gently, " hey can I do my job, and can you sit over there and just keep to yourself for a bit." In my studio I have a door to the lobby were the door is glass I ask them to go sit just in front of the glass door on the other side, that way they can see me, they can see the child but there is no interaction between them. How do I get them out there? I say why don't you give me a chance to see if I can get them to do a little better? Or can you sit out there for a couple of shoots see if maybe you're distracting them? Or sometimes kids act a little better if they don't have an audience and don't feel pressured to perform.
A lot of times parents are worried about the child's behavior and as a result are trying to control them the entire session because the child is in a new environment, and with a new person they will test their limits. As they get comfortable with you the photographer they will start testing you to see what happens when they don't do what you say, when they wonder to other parts of the studio, if they touch the lights or go farther back on the set or background than you've instructed them too, or in other ways like grabbing props that you've already moved on from, telling you they don't want to do something that you got them to do earlier, and the list goes on. The parents will recognizes that they are acting out of the ordinary before you do and that's where their behavior will kick in and start reprimanding the child. My go to saying's are they are fine, it's alright, I new they were going to that it happens all the time, anything I can say to bring the parental fears down, and assure them there kid isn't the worst kid I've had in, which in a lot of cases they aren't, and this gives me the chance to deal with whatever defiant thing there doing and start quickly establishing boundaries for the child. Asking sweetly lets not do that, how about we play a game instead or, would you like hold this prop over here, or that's not nice or back there is dangerous stuff I wouldn't want you to get hurt, would you want to go out of here without a head or your not acting like you want the surprise at the end of the session, I only give that to good boys and girls. Great tip to have something for them to take home with them at the end of the session whether it's candy or a pack of stickers the excitement of the surprise can be used to bribe difficult kids when your in a crunch.
Now why I would rather let the kid run around my studio happy and kind of plead with them, bribe them, and gently get them in any way I can, to get them to do what I need them to do instead of have them reprimanded by their parents and get angry or tear stained faces, but some sometimes it's just out of your control. Don't ever beat yourself up if the session goes south. If it's really bad reschedule or take a break in the middle of the session. Just sit there with the child and the parent and let things calm down, then try again. Never let the parent reprimand the child to tears and continue the session. It's an uncomfortable situation for everybody and it's not like your going use those pictures so why take them? Usually the parent is angry so you'll need to deal with them first to start defusing the situation maybe taking them to the side or just asking them to step to the side and take a breather for a second. Tell them exactly what you're thinking." You don't want 20 pictures of them crying and neither do I so lets come up with a different approach here or reschedule for another day."
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