Confessions of a Dreamer @lexxilauren - Tumblr Blog

s-t-u-p-o-r-e

“The broken heart. You think you will die, but you just keep living, day after day after terrible day.”

— Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

animalsnaps

“my parents warned me about the drugs in the streets but never the ones with soft eyes and a heartbeat”

— @sexual-texts (via sexual-texts)

Broken

How could you not see that the prospect of a future together was all she wanted? How could you not see her holding on with everything she had to make it work? It was easier for you to see things your way and put all your needs above hers than to try and understand her and work through it together. She craved more from you for yourself, every dream of yours became hers and she supported you through every aspiration you sought. It’s unfortunate that you can’t see how great things could’ve been. She knew it would take work...but she knew that the work would’ve been worth it. To be with the man she loved and would do anything for. You couldn’t see past instant gratification, or your own personal agenda so you stopped making the effort to choose her..to choose somebody who would’ve done anything or gone anywhere for you. You couldn’t handle how real it could have been, but you could handle placing the blame on anything and everything else. Attempting to make her believe it wasn’t your fault. And while you still may have seen yourself as the “gentleman” who did everything to make her feel special, or who never really did anything that wrong...you were mistaken. She felt nothing but insecurity, betrayal and sadness because of you. Finally, she realized you would let her down no matter what she did or tried. And even when she could barely breathe, and was so overwrought with the sadness and misery you inflicted with this situation..you “comforted” her with SILENCE and more irrelevant excuses. You failed to understand just how much damage was caused..well, her pain and sadness turned into something you could see. The emotions and hurt turned into rage and made her into somebody she wasn’t. And that’s when you stopped loving her. It was difficult and chaotic, heart-wrenching. But...she was still holding on, even after everything. Even after all that..it still wasn’t enough for you to try harder. It was still too hard for you to meet her halfway..or comfort her and mitigate the pain and sadness you inflicted. It will always end the same way. You’re too selfish to see the big picture, one that goes beyond yourself and your own needs..she lost herself dreaming and hoping for that big picture to become a reality. She thought that this was the love that you fight for again and again because you don’t get that with just anyone. Deep down, you knew she was right because you felt it too at one point but you decided not to fight to keep her, yet again, because of your selfishness and inability to put somebody before yourself. And while you may think you did the right thing...saving her from you, however you choose to explain it- that’s so far from the truth. It’s just another cop-out excuse. You’re the reason why she didn’t get the love she deserved and worked so hard to keep. You’re the reason she won’t be able to properly trust or truly love for a long time. You let your selfishness and apathy get in the way of something that would have been truly great-

...you shattered her heart into a million pieces, and now she gets to live with that.

iftherosescouldspeak

I was calm and comfortable, like a still river. Your fingertips against my skin left delicate ripples in their wake across my cool surface. The moment you leaned in, my love sick heart battered against the inside of my ribcage with anticipation. Our lips softly embraced at first, warm breaths meeting each other in our throats until I couldn’t tell which moans were yours, or mine. The intoxication of your affection left me dizzy and clawing within my own mind to find words to explain to you how you could make everything trivial just disappear simply from being around you. To the point even where I’d dread our goodbyes and “see you laters” because the minute you left, I had to come down from the heaven you caused me to climb to. You tried your damnest to keep your wings clipped and hidden, because you thought they were wounded and ugly, but I am so morbidly bored of my wounds and was heartbroken when you showed me yours. Your simple embrace is deep as an ocean, one I gladly submerge myself in until my lungs scream in agony for even the smallest hint of a breathe air, but rather, I would gladly drown for but one more second, knowing full well the consequences. Because you, sweet darling, there’s a little bit of devil behind those deep brown angel eyes of yours, and I can’t think of a more beautiful wildfire to be consumed by.

Walkamileinmyboots (via walkamileinmyboots)

theanimalmemes

I’m marrying the guy that will dance w me around the kitchen in the refrigerator light at 2 am

@sexual-texts (via sexual-texts)

iftherosescouldspeak

“Staring aimlessly into the blue-silver chasms that are the key to the electric sensations which run the endless track of my spine, was the most alive I’d felt in six months. It’s always a masquerade with you, our meetings they seem to be. Each time, I claw at the inexistent ability of soothsaying as if the name of the emotion you’ve yet decided to wear, will somehow sneak it’s way into my nerves and sever my last strained chord of what it is to still feel human. Instead, these games leave me aching that I’ll wake from some ungodly cryostasis only to realize that everything up until this very heartbeat has been some torturous hallucination driven violently by my subconscious to test my soul’s own breaking point. It’s like that pain in your jaws when the words you mean to say are resting in the crevices of your teeth and no force on this Earth or the next can put them together into any form that could even resemble a rational thought, let alone the sole message you live & breathe to convey. You, Luna, are the moon of humanity who pulls only tides of heartache and insomnia. The calling in my fleeting heart for your smirking approval and eclipsing words of hallowed affection, is the very flow of blood beneath my stinging skin.” -walkamileinmyboots