Hi!

Rachel | mid 30's | east coast U.S.

[laura-willowes]

i think i may have had a breakthrough with my challenging college counseling student yesterday.

the issue is that he does not want to go to college, but his parents have hired me to help him get into college.

yesterday he and i kinda got it all out in the open, and we're at the point where i am leveling with him about the minimum amount of effort he needs to put in in order to get the applications done.

yesterday i finally said, out loud to him, "well, this is very awkward for me." LOL. it's very awkward! i've been hired to help him access an opportunity he does not want!

he has a plan. it's not like he's sitting around like a lump on a log. he has an alternative plan that he is actively pursuing. i am not worried about him. but i am just in a very awkward position. i hope i can get him through these applications.

i've been framing it in terms of "the work we're doing here is not sending you to college. that is not our objective. what we're doing is giving you options that you can choose or not choose."

so... we'll see how it goes. i feel very weird about the whole thing. i need to think about how to communicate to his parents that i can get him into college, but i cannot make him go. i think they know that, though.

[laura-willowes]

look at my reddit avatar. look at her! she has such joie de vivre!

(i have reduced my activity on reddit bc i don't like having strangers tell me i'm an idiot, but i do still comment on occasion.)

[laura-willowes]

let me tell you about my triumph at the grocery store.

i always go to the produce first because this is how everyone does it, right? ok. anyway. i go to the produce first, and they have everything i need but cilantro.

i was bereft. i was searching around the empty cilantro basket looking for any trace of the herb. i planned on making a salad this week, and cilantro is the magic ingredient. i've made it with and i've made it without, and it is leaps and bounds better with cilantro.

i went and did the rest of my shopping, and then, before checking out i thought "maybe i'll just go back and see if the cilantro situation has changed. it's unlikely but i've gotta try"

and reader, there was a FULL BASKET of cilantro! BLESS THE FREAKING HEAVENS AND ALSO WHICHEVER GROCERY STORE EMPLOYEE RESTOCKED THE CILANTRO!

now my salad is going to RIP!!!!

[laura-willowes]

today i did ALL the dishes in my sink (i don't have a dishwasher) and took out the trash and recycling, so i am basically the most accomplished woman in the world.

[laura-willowes]

the yt algorithm recommended me a video where a creator who i know buys into diet culture was talking sanctimoniously about how important it is for us to talk about ariana grande's body.

this person heavily implied that ariana is struggling with anorexia. and it's important for us to speculate about a famous person's health and talk about their body because...... anorexia is dangerous?

no shit.

i just don't think it is important for us to discuss this. i don't care about ariana grande's body and/or health. she is teaching us nothing new.

we already know that thin is in. it's been in for decades. probably close to a century. we pretended it wasn't for a while, but it still was.

we also know that diet culture is bad, and glorification of thinness is bad and dangerous. we should probably stop fucking doing it.

you know what we also need to do? FUCKING CHANGE THE NARRATIVE AROUND FATNESS. FATNESS IS NOT GROSS OR SCARY OR INDICATIVE OF A CHARACTER FLAW. IT'S JUST HOW SOME PEOPLE'S BODIES ARE.

and if you're not gonna be saying this, shut the fuck up about ariana grande's body, for the love of god.

you can't talk about how dangerous anorexia is without talking about a probable reason a person would deny themself nourishment: fear of being fat, which is the flip side of valorization of thinness.

and also, i am not ariana grande's doctor!!! i am not her doctor, and neither are you, video essayist on the internet! we know nothing about her health! i'm SORRY! we don't! it is not our business!

[laura-willowes]

apparently sports are happening now??? there are two sports that are happening? have you heard?

[hyliantomatoes]

wait now i’m curious what’s everyone’s go-to pair of shoes

[laura-willowes]

"my mayor muslim, my bagel jewish, my christian dior, knicks in four"

i need someone to tell me bc i am an idiot...

what does "knicks in four" mean???

[laura-willowes]

i love my youtube style girlies but i despise videos like this and do not ever watch them! don't tell me what not to do!! i'm not gonna stop doing it if it is convenient or comfortable.

i wanna look nice. like, a minimal level of niceness. but sometimes i leave the house on a hot day and get sweaty and end up looking like a wet dog. for me the pursuit of stylishness is futile at a certain point.

i follow these people for thrifting inspiration and shopping tips. and sometimes to watch them diy cool shit.

i don't follow them to tell me what not to do. eew. who wants that????

[laura-willowes]

people don't talk about the tyranny of email subject lines often enough.

like, REALLY? i need a subject line for EVERY SINGLE EMAIL I EVER SEND?

absolute madness.

[laura-willowes]

yesterday at pride i saw a female presenting person with a shirt that said "too mean to marry" and an illustration of a formidable-looking dog. i went and told them i loved it. what a fricken shirt!! so funny. i just found the cheekiness and unapologetic vibe so relatable.

[laura-willowes]

i think i have plantar fasciitis. i am doing a stretching and icing regimen. it's helping! i hope it continues to help even more!

man does it blow to have pain in your foot!!!

i am also, perhaps stupidly, refusing to go to the doctor because i think they're just going to tell me to do the stretching and icing.

so. i am going to try to fix this on my own. i seem to be on the right track?? and if not, i will suck it up and go to the doctor, who will then refer me to another doctor. FUN!

[laura-willowes]

i am my college essay editing employer's go-to for difficult or low level students. i am flattered by this. i am her ringer.

she had me meet with a low level student yesterday. i had just met him, and an hour and a half later, we had a topic, and he was prepared to write a first draft of his essay. i really enjoyed the meeting, and he did too. he thanked me for making him feel comfortable.

that's a cool thing about my line of work. people say thank you.

after the meeting yesterday i felt rich even though i didn't make that much money, lol. my employer doesn't pay me very much. but i felt rich because i had demonstrated a real skill that is valuable to others and that people will pay me more money for in the future.

but right now, in the immediate sense, i am just gonna take whatever meager sum is being offered to me. LOLSOB.

[laura-willowes]

guess who has two thumbs and did ONE EMAIL today????

[laura-willowes]

two emails

[laura-willowes]

guess who has two thumbs and did ONE EMAIL today????

[laura-willowes]

i REALLY pushed myself yesterday to go to a book club after work. i was so tired and had three hours to kill before the book club even started, so i went to a restaurant and got myself a meal, including a four dollar spindrift seltzer (criminal).

i try to eat out extremely rarely. my restaurant budget is tiny. so this was kind of an extreme measure in order to be able to go to the book club near work several hours after work ended!

i had never been to this book club before. i felt optimistic because the book was super interesting, and i thought the discussion about such an interesting book HAD to be good.

it... was not. the book is so rich and challenging and profound, but we talked about the stupidest shit. i would say the discussion was facilitated poorly, but it was not facilitated at all. i left early.

now i know, and i don't have to go ever again, which is great because it is far from my home.

[laura-willowes]

a new testimonial on my website. it's one of the best compliments i've ever gotten on my professional work. i am verklempt.