Hi!

Rachel | mid 30's | east coast U.S.

[laura-willowes]

the yt algorithm recommended me a video where a creator who i know buys into diet culture was talking sanctimoniously about how important it is for us to talk about ariana grande's body.

this person heavily implied the ariana is struggling with anorexia. and it's important for us to speculate about a famous person's health and talk about their body because...... anorexia is dangerous?

no shit.

i just don't think it is important for us to discuss this. i don't care about ariana grande's body and/or health. she is teaching us nothing new.

we already know that thin is in. it's been in for decades. probably close to a century. we pretended it wasn't for a while, but it still was.

we also know that diet culture is bad, and glorification of thinness is bad and dangerous. we should probably stop fucking doing it.

you know what we also need to do? FUCKING CHANGE THE NARRATIVE AROUND FATNESS. FATNESS IS NOT GROSS OR SCARY OR INDICATIVE OF A CHARACTER FLAW. IT'S JUST HOW SOME PEOPLE'S BODIES ARE.

and if you're not gonna be saying this, shut the fuck up about ariana grande's body, for the love of god.

you can't talk about how dangerous anorexia is without talking about a probable reason a person would deny themselves nourishment: fear of being fat, which is the flip side of valorization of thinness.

and also, i am not ariana grande's doctor!!! i am not her doctor, and neither are you, video essayist on the internet! we know nothing about her health! i'm SORRY! we don't! it is not our business!

[laura-willowes]

apparently sports are happening now??? there are two sports that are happening? have you heard?

[hyliantomatoes]

wait now i’m curious what’s everyone’s go-to pair of shoes

[laura-willowes]

"my mayor muslim, my bagel jewish, my christian dior, knicks in four"

i need someone to tell me bc i am an idiot...

what does "knicks in four" mean???

[laura-willowes]

i love my youtube style girlies but i despise videos like this and do not ever watch them! don't tell me what not to do!! i'm not gonna stop doing it if it is convenient or comfortable.

i wanna look nice. like, a minimal level of niceness. but sometimes i leave the house on a hot day and get sweaty and end up looking like a wet dog. for me the pursuit of stylishness is futile at a certain point.

i follow these people for thrifting inspiration and shopping tips. and sometimes to watch them diy cool shit.

i don't follow them to tell me what not to do. eew. who wants that????

[laura-willowes]

people don't talk about the tyranny of email subject lines often enough.

like, REALLY? i need a subject line for EVERY SINGLE EMAIL I EVER SEND?

absolute madness.

[laura-willowes]

yesterday at pride i saw a female presenting person with a shirt that said "too mean to marry" and an illustration of a formidable-looking dog. i went and told them i loved it. what a fricken shirt!! so funny. i just found the cheekiness and unapologetic vibe so relatable.

[laura-willowes]

i think i have plantar fasciitis. i am doing a stretching and icing regimen. it's helping! i hope it continues to help even more!

man does it blow to have pain in your foot!!!

i am also, perhaps stupidly, refusing to go to the doctor because i think they're just going to tell me to do the stretching and icing.

so. i am going to try to fix this on my own. i seem to be on the right track?? and if not, i will suck it up and go to the doctor, who will then refer me to another doctor. FUN!

[laura-willowes]

i am my college essay editing employer's go-to for difficult or low level students. i am flattered by this. i am her ringer.

she had me meet with a low level student yesterday. i had just met him, and an hour and a half later, we had a topic, and he was prepared to write a first draft of his essay. i really enjoyed the meeting, and he did too. he thanked me for making him feel comfortable.

that's a cool thing about my line of work. people say thank you.

after the meeting yesterday i felt rich even though i didn't make that much money, lol. my employer doesn't pay me very much. but i felt rich because i had demonstrated a real skill that is valuable to others and that people will pay me more money for in the future.

but right now, in the immediate sense, i am just gonna take whatever meager sum is being offered to me. LOLSOB.

[laura-willowes]

guess who has two thumbs and did ONE EMAIL today????

[laura-willowes]

two emails

[laura-willowes]

guess who has two thumbs and did ONE EMAIL today????

[laura-willowes]

i REALLY pushed myself yesterday to go to a book club after work. i was so tired and had three hours to kill before the book club even started, so i went to a restaurant and got myself a meal, including a four dollar spindrift seltzer (criminal).

i try to eat out extremely rarely. my restaurant budget is tiny. so this was kind of an extreme measure in order to be able to go to the book club near work several hours after work ended!

i had never been to this book club before. i felt optimistic because the book was super interesting, and i thought the discussion about such an interesting book HAD to be good.

it... was not. the book is so rich and challenging and profound, but we talked about the stupidest shit. i would say the discussion was facilitated poorly, but it was not facilitated at all. i left early.

now i know, and i don't have to go ever again, which is great because it is far from my home.

[laura-willowes]

a new testimonial on my website. it's one of the best compliments i've ever gotten on my professional work. i am verklempt.

[laura-willowes]

shinee's back!!! the boys are back!

this is a moment. this is an event.

it is the best kpop song i've heard in a LONG time.

[catsbeaversandducks]

By pabli_littlecat

[laura-willowes]

well, i drafted a resignation email to my employer who treated me like dirt by refusing to pay me for the full three hours of work i did for her over the course of an entire month.

three hours!!! apparently she is destitute and should not be hiring out contractors.

i could have said a lot of inflammatory things, but i just said "thank you for the opportunity but your approach to compensation does not work for me." kept it short and sweet.

i would really like whatever meager amount of money she is willing to pay me. it would make a difference in my finances this summer/year. but i cannot work under these conditions. i just... can't. it's simply not worth it.

[laura-willowes]

i worked really hard today, both for my business and for my stupid side gig. i have now learned that my boss is horrible and exploitative and refuses to pay me for all of my time, because she claims admin work is "the cost of doing business" and work i have to do for "the opportunity" to work for her.

she says admin work is not real work. i dare her to say that to any administrative professional.

i also had a really interesting networking meeting for my own business. (THIS is the appropriate context for admin work to be "the cost of doing business," because it is MY business, and it is the price of autonomy. GAHHHHHH fuck you, lady.)

ANYWAY. the person i networked with was just like "yeah i'll refer to you. no problem. i'll give my clients an incentive to seek out your services."

and i was thinking to myself "WAIT A SECOND, WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU JUST MET ME FIVE SECONDS AGO!"

idk. it was nice but also weird. it felt transactional in a way i didn't like. i liked the directness, but i tend to want to get to know each other and build a relationship before referring to each other. idk. maybe i'm the weird one???

also now are we in a monogamous relationship??? am i her college cousnelor she refers to, and she is my math tutor i refer to? can i not networking with other math tutors? what is the deal here????/???

i am dying. today was crazy. i worked so hard and also cried a bit after interacting with my horrible boss who wouldn't pay me for the full THREE HOURS of work i reported for april and may.

THREE HOURS. THREE!!! HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!

outrageous. she should be embarrassed. but she isn't!